Chapter 14
It didn’t help that she kept stealing glances at me, inquiring about my health, wondering if I’d seen Justin the day I’d called out sick because apparently, he’d left early for ‘personal’ reasons.
Odd, was all I’d said.
Her questions felt like traps. I had no idea what Justin shared with her when they were in the back rooms working with patients. For all I knew, he had told Midge he was going to bring me soup, in which case my behavior probably looked suspicious as fuck.
I was probably making a bigger deal out of this than I needed to.
I had no idea where I stood with Justin.
He’d watched me touch myself, fingered me, then held me, and now we were back to working colleagues.
For all I knew, I was nothing but a fleeting fling.
It hurt to think that, but I needed to get my head—and heart, wrapped around that possibility real fast.
The only distraction I had was my coding. Justin’s medical charting program was all but finished and I’d shared it with my professor, who’d finally got back to me that morning.
“Tell me, Katie,” Midge interrupted my email while we were alone at the reception desk. “Do you like older men?”
My hand slipped on the keyboard and I deleted a whole row from my response to my professor.
Shit. “Why do you ask?”
She pretended to straighten a pile of papers. “Well, I couldn’t help but notice the way you look at your stepfather.”
The muscles in my hands froze.
“I couldn’t help but notice the way he looks at you too when he thinks no one is watching.”
Translation: When he doesn’t realize I’m watching him like a creeper.
Play it cool.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Her eyes were eerily penetrating and all she said was, “mmhmm.”
The next week I breathed a sigh of relief when I found Midge had taken some time off.
I needed the break from her penetrating stare.
“Stressful week at school?”
I jolted in my seat. Justin leaned against the wall, arms crossed, the sleeves of his lab coat pulled taunt over his muscled arms. The afternoon lull had hit, which meant he was between appointments and today wasn’t a surgery day.
“Why do you ask that?”
He pushed off from the wall in one smooth move and took Midge’s seat next to me. “You were staring at that screen and sighing.”
The space in our already tiny alcove shrunk with him in it.
I became instantly aware of how close his shoulder was to mine.
How close our thighs were to touching. His scent surrounded me and that familiar ache between my legs started.
His gaze warmed when it locked with mine before starting the trek downward.
I could feel his eyes like a physical caress, down the column of my neck where it paused on my breasts down to my lap.
I grew damp and clenched my thighs together. The flare in his eyes told me he saw.
I turned my focus back to the computer. “My life is always stressful. I heard back from my professor on that program I’ve been working on,” I decided to share with him and ignore the way my body was reacting to him. “Turns out there’s an interested buyer.”
His hand on my knee nearly had me jumping out of my skin.
“Katie, that’s fantastic.”
I swallowed thickly. “Thanks. They’ve got a little bit of cold feet though, so I’m trying to think of anything I can do to make myself come across as more responsible. As a smart investment.”
“I know a little something about that.”
“You do?”
“Of course, my clinic needed backing and a good handful of investors, some of which, like your buyer, are experiencing cold feet. They don’t like the idea of losing out on money by opening a clinic for low-income patients.”
“How do you convince them?”
A roguish smile curved his lips. “I have my charms. I only have a few more to convince, some of which I’ll be meeting this week. But, more importantly back to you. I can help.”
“You can?”
His fingers squeezed my knee, again the innocuous act spearing heat through my whole body.
“I’d be happy to write you a letter of recommendation about your professional time here, or even a testimony of sorts about the program, if you’d like? I’d need to test run it first though, so I sound like I know what I’m talking about.”
A smile broke through and I couldn’t stop grinning. A testimony about my program from a renown plastic surgeon using my program at his clinic would have to put me at the top of this buyers list.
“You’d do that?” I wanted to swallow the words back as soon as they left. The last thing I wanted to do was push him away, this is what could take me to the next step, this is what could launch my career. I’d be able to make my own way. Leave LA if I wanted.
“Without hesitation,” his eyes snagged mine, the deep blue pools pulling me under.
My heart quivered in my chest.
The quarter was already more than halfway over, my time here ticking down. I should’ve been thrilled, but instead something cold and clammy wrapped around my lungs.
Forcing myself to inhale I turned back to my computer.
“Thank you.” I couldn’t look him in the eye, I had no idea what he’d read in them.
I couldn’t seem to keep a lid on anything anymore.
“I can load the program onto the reception computer, or your office, or any patient room really.” My words came out rushed.
“Katie.”
The stern sound of his voice did things to my insides that shouldn’t be legal.
I turned.
The heat and longing on his face hit like a punch to the gut.
The hand on my knee glided up my leg, tantalizingly slow.
Every inch he moved sent my pulse racing faster and faster until I was a panting mess.
I should stop him.
But I wanted him more. I’d been denying myself for weeks and now I was at a point in my life where I could be stepping away from him for good. Did I want to do that without knowing what being with him would be like?
His fingers slowed and stopped on my thigh as he studied my face.
I let him see everything. “Don’t stop,” I whispered.
He cupped me and my breath hitched. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one was there but I already knew the only other staff was in the breakroom enjoying the afternoon lull, looking up the latest celebrity gossip.
“No one’s here,” Justin leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“Someone could walk in.” But my hips were already arching off the seat to meet his hand. I’d been craving him since that time in the patient room. I was sick of fighting it.
“Very well,” his hand disappeared.
When he got to his feet and started to leave, I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even form words.
“I think I’d like your program installed on the desktop in my office. Meet me there and get someone to cover the reception desk.”
He disappeared, leaving me alone and adrift.
My program stared back at me. The key to my future, the escape I’ve been waiting for.
If I go into Justin’s office, I knew what waited for me. Heartache. Pain. Confusion.
And pleasure.
So much pleasure that I was vibrating from the anticipation.
I shouldn’t go. He didn’t need more power or presence over my life. He’d already done enough for me. This position. Taking care of me when I was sick. Agreeing to test my software. Offering to write a testimony. It was too much.
A kindness I’d never be able to repay, and that made my skin itch. He’d started to worm his way into my life. To matter.
If I went into his office, there would be no coming back from that. Things would change. They already had, but this…I’d never had sex with a man before. I’d never wanted to. Not like this. Not with a burning need that seared me from the inside out.
Did I want to give my virginity to Justin, would I be able to give him my virginity and nothing else?
I wasn’t the clingy type, but Justin had the inability to fry every circuit in my brain until I couldn’t think straight.
Usually when I got this far with a man it was easy to walk away, but with Justin it was different. In the back of my head I knew he wouldn’t throw this gift away. He’d treasure it, hold it in his arms like he’d held me.
I wanted him. All of him.
Oh shit.
I was so fucked.