Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Noah
I was surprised at how easy it was to leave everything behind.
When you have barely started a life, there is not much to get rid of.
The hardest hit was breaking my lease which I had only just started.
Luckily, I have always lived with secret savings stash, having grown up poorer than most, so paying off that mistake was easier than it would be for others.
A few boxes, a couple of trips to the local donation spot, and giving a handful of items away for practically free, I found myself ready to hit the road in a few days.
Taking shifts driving, it didn’t take long to put everything that had happened behind me.
Now, sitting in one of my favorite stopping spots on Beale Street in Memphis, I am only about four and a half hours from home, and two days free from the past that I’m still trying to stop thinking about in California.
The weather is pleasant as it drifts in from the open patio which acts as a small balcony of sorts looking out over the street.
The dim light of the sunset matches the dimly lit lights in the bar as a local blues band plays on the stage across from where Rex and I are sitting at the bar.
Running my fingers down the condensation on my beer, I am pulled out of my thoughts as my phone vibrates with an incoming call on the counter next to me.
Glancing at it, I unintentionally grab the bottle tighter and lift it to my lips.
I take a long hard drink to kill the pain her name awakens inside me.
“Still not going to answer that?” Rex asks as he glances down at my phone.
Frustrated, I snatch my cell and shove it in my pocket.
I turn around on my stool and look out across Beale Street to all the people coming and going.
Laughing with drinks in hand, they stroll in and out of bars listening to life-altering music.
I’m neither here nor there, as I’m weighed down by memories too heavy for a Friday night in Memphis.
“If she wanted to say something, she would say it, but she never leaves a message.” I shrug at my lame attempt at an explanation.
I take another drink and motion toward the bartender for another.
He slides the fresh beer across the counter, I grab it, throw some money on the counter, and walk towards the open patio.
Following close behind, Rex doesn’t waste time in pressing the matter.
“You know, I gave you two days and a little over 2,000 miles and didn’t say shit.
You even had me lie to one of my oldest friends before following you more than halfway across the damn country.
But, if you honestly are not going to pick up that phone and tell her the truth, I might just be forced to. ”
I shoot him a glare just as two women catch Rex’s eye across the patio.
Rex gives them a disinterested glance, which is very out of character.
They try and catch my eye next. I smile politely before turning back to Rex and saying, “Trust me, I said what I needed to say before leaving. She got the message, or will in time. Like I said, if she wants to say something, she can leave it in a voicemail.”
I pause for a moment. Rex looks away from me and out across the street which is quickly filling up with tourists and locals. I follow his stare.
“Just so you know,” he says. “She didn’t say much when I told her you needed some space, even though she had no clue the amount of space I was talking about. But, if looks could talk, you may just be wrong about this one.”
A gnawing feeling floods my subconscious.
Pushing it away, I down half of my beer and start to walk out towards the street.
Rex’s words begin to make me question my decision for the first time since I made it.
But, as we stop for Rex to order another beer off of one of the many open windows on Beale Street, I bury those fleeting feelings deep inside.
I’ve been waiting almost two years to be this close to home.
Walking on Beale Street in Memphis, I am almost there and don’t want to be weighed down by memories, feelings, and the idea that I may or may not have just screwed up a love that only comes around once in a lifetime.
Looking to the left, and then up the street at the setting sun, I let her memory begin to fade as the sun drops below the horizon and the neon lights of the street start to burn a little brighter.