Chapter 56
Chapter Fifty-Six
Eva
The car door slamming shut makes me realize the finality of the situation. Looking out across the field at Noah’s house, I pause and breathe deeply trying to hold onto a dream that is now shattered.
Gwen closes her side door as she exits the car to say our goodbyes. A goodbye I hoped would be much different only a little over a week ago. The screen door opens and little footsteps come down the steps. Turning, Anna May comes running toward us with Jolene and Noah’s mom following shortly behind.
“Miss Eva,” Anna May begins, “Momma says you’re leaving. But you can’t leave yet. I told Bobby you and Uncle Noah were going to get married.”
“Anna May,” Jolene scolds.
“It’s true,” Anna May says, coming to a stop in front of me. “Uncle Noah said he’d have babies so I can be a big cousin. And I saw him and Ms. Eva kissing and…”
“Hush up, Anna May,” Noah’s mother says, pulling the child to her side.
Tears threaten to break free, but I plaster a smile on my face and crouch down to Anna May’s level.
“Well,” I say, clearing my throat. “You know what, Anna May, that may just happen yet. But I don’t think it’s going to be me, sweetie.”
She frowns and looks at the ground. I brush her bangs to the side and take her face in my hand, lifting her chin, I say, “I’m gonna miss you, Anna May.”
“I’m gonna miss you too, Ms. Eva,” the little girl says with a sniffle that almost breaks me.
“Hey, what about me?” Gwen chimes in, breaking the tension. Anna May’s face lights up as she turns to look at one of her newest friends. “Who am I going to get to bake cookies with me back in California?”
Anna May runs to her and gives Gwen a big hug. Rustling the top of her hair, Gwen bends forward and kisses the crown of her head. “I’m going to miss you,” she says with tears in her eyes.
Anna May backs away, “You know, I’ve never been on an airplane before.” She gives us a mischievous smirk. “Maybe momma will let me come visit.”
Laughing, Jolene says, “Only if I come along, too.”
“Deal,” Anna May exclaims, before hugging Gwen one last time and returning to give me a hug.
I pull her close and hug her like I don’t want to let her go.
Because deep down, I don’t. I will never be able to replace her or a family I wished would be my own.
A few days ago, it looked as if this little girl would hopefully one day be a part of my future.
Now, I am left packing up and heading back home with nothing more than what I showed up with.
I haven’t spoken to Noah since the park the day before yesterday.
With nothing left to say, I reluctantly agreed when Gwen suggested we look into changing our flight and leaving a few days early.
Now, stopping by to say goodbye to Jolene before making a stop at the newspaper seems like the end of the world.
I release Anna May and turn to hug Noah’s mother.
She pulls me close and a sense of comfort washes over me.
I close my eyes as tension leaves me briefly and I take the last bit of a family I wished I could call my own with me.
Noah’s mom pats my back a few times, and says, “Sometimes, even when we take chances, the good Lord changes our direction. Noah will never stop loving you, baby. But he’s got to face some of his own tough choices right now. ”
I nod my head letting her know I understand. Breaking free, I softly smile at her as she squeezes my hands.
Noah’s mother turns to take Anna May back into the house, but Jolene stays with us and waits for them to be out of earshot. Taking a deep breath, tears fill my eyes as I watch a world, a life, a dream I never knew I wanted fade.
“I still think he’s an ass,” Jolene huffs, which makes me laugh. “I’m serious. Sometimes my brother can be really smart, but sometimes he can’t get out of his way long enough to see what he is throwing away.”
I shrug. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”
I will myself not to cry but I fail miserably and Jolene pulls me in for a big hug.
“There is no way he’s marrying the likes of Rebecca Brown. I don’t care what he told you.”
She tightens her squeeze on me and I almost fall apart. But I straighten up as she lets go. It’s time to leave. Time to let go. Time to move on and get myself back into a life I had before I ever met Noah.
Gwen and Jolene exchange a hug, and I hear them murmur something about future plans, but my mind has already drifted off. Off to a world without Noah, and a reality I am not so anxious to get back to.
Getting in the car, and pulling out onto the gravel road, my heart aches as what’s left of the world we shared shatters. My life back on the West Coast seems dim and dull now.
“It’ll get better in time,” Gwen says as she turns on the radio. “It has to, right?”
I don’t answer, just look out the window at the beautiful Kentucky countryside as we drive into town.
There is one more stop I have to make before boarding a plane in a few hours.
One more dream I have to let go of, and that is a job I never thought I wanted in a small town I now find myself never wanting to leave.
Twenty minutes later, we pull up in front of the Bardstown newspaper.
I look at the storefront and smile. A few days ago when I had accepted the job, all my hope was wrapped up in a career I could sink myself into if only my future hadn’t turned out the way it did.
Now, having to walk in and face Mary, after accepting the position only to turn it down a few days later, my heart doesn’t have the strength to take the couple steps I need to walk in the front door.
“We don’t have much time, Eva,” Gwen says. “I can’t pretend to know what you are going through, but we’ve got to get to Louisville. The plane leaves in a little over two hours.”
Taking a deep breath I exit the vehicle.
I glance back across the street and hope to see Noah standing out front of the fire station, laughing and carrying on like he had only a few days earlier.
Like he did when I finally felt like all the pieces of my world were permanently coming together. But no one is there.
Walking the few steps up the curb and through the front door of the building, I look around before Mary catches my eye in her back office.
She smiles and waves at me to come back.
Swallowing hard, I begin to walk towards her office and hope she understands the magnitude of what I am about to turn down.