Chapter 4
For the past several months, a swirl of emotions had rioted through Gramlithyn.
As he stood in front of his dresser and yanked open a drawer to pack for his graduation trip with Colburn, he focused on the anger brewing from the depths of his heart and soul.
Nothing in his life was going according to plan.
He’d begged Fate not to pair him with anyone. Yet now he was haunted by the memory of the horror in Pyxlevir’s beautiful blue eyes as he learned the truth about their matebond. Every single happy moment Gramlithyn had shared with Pyxlevir was tainted. It wasn’t even Pyxlevir’s fault.
Like Gramlithyn, Pyxlevir had obviously envisioned something far different for his existence.
Or at least had hoped for someone else. Gramlithyn was definitely not the person Pyxlevir wanted.
A fresh wave of fury and hurt coursed through Gramlithyn.
His eyes squeezed shut as his zebra wailed in his head.
The worst part was that there was nothing Gramlithyn could do.
Nor could he tell anyone. For reasons Gramlithyn tried to ignore, Pyxlevir hadn’t announced their matebond despite having everyone they knew gathered in the Centaurus mansion.
It’d taken Gramlithyn only seconds to figure out why Pyxlevir had held his tongue.
Gramlithyn’s best friend was so unhappy and embarrassed by Fate’s choice, he couldn’t bring himself to utter the words aloud. Which, as it turned out, was fine with Gramlithyn. Otherwise, he would’ve spent hours trying to escape from the pity in everyone’s eyes.
As the bedroom door swung open to reveal his mother in a pair of her favored overalls, Gramlithyn thanked whatever benevolent force existed on the planet that she didn’t know about his matebond.
Semira would’ve already planned the ceremony to tie Gramlithyn to Pyxlevir forever and expected them both to live happily ever after.
“How’s your packing going?” his mother asked as she bustled into the room and snagged tunics from the drawer Gramlithyn had been mindlessly staring into for countless minutes.
“Fine. Mom, I can do it. You don’t have to help.”
Semira rolled her dark eyes and deposited a healthy stack of tops into the duffel Gramlithyn had tossed onto his green bedspread.
Although their household included a full zebra shifter and a hybrid one, Semira insisted on decorating everything in elven style.
Beads hung from everything, and inspired by the Valzadari, she’d gone with a lot of silk curtains and pillows.
One of Gramlithyn’s earliest memories was being told about the animal that was possibly growing inside him. Nothing about his zebra was ignored. However, Semira was determined to raise her only child with a deep appreciation for everything that made elves wonderful.
Which hadn’t bothered Gramlithyn until the last few weeks. As an elven hybrid, Gramlithyn had no choices. His sexuality was tied to his mate. To Pyxlevir. The elf who didn’t want him.
If Gramlithyn were a full shifter, he could leave Vegas behind him and set a new course.
He’d be able to find someone capable of loving him, and although they wouldn’t be mates, they could express their affection for each other both physically and emotionally.
Suddenly, Gramlithyn was wondering what the hell was the benefit of being an elf.
His mouth twisted in distaste. He didn’t want to be an elf any longer.
Not if it meant he was trapped forever in a matebond with someone who didn’t want him.
There is an alternative, Gramlithyn’s brain whispered.
Anyone with demonic blood could sever the bond Fate had granted him and Pyxlevir.
There were laws surrounding the ability, and it required the people involved to spend a year living together trying to make things better. But in the end, they’d have freedom.
Gramlithyn glanced at his mother, and she grinned at him.
If Semira knew her son was considering the dissolution of his matebond, she would disown him.
So, the demonic spell was useless to Gramlithyn.
He couldn’t disappoint his parents by defying the traditions they’d ingrained in him since he was a baby.
Plus, the spell required the people involved to have no feelings for each other.
Gramlithyn adored Pyxlevir despite everything.
Forcing himself into motion, Gramlithyn grabbed every tunic his mother had left behind and added them to his duffel.
“Are you sure you need all those?” his mother asked. “You’re going away for three months, and if you get low on anything, I’m sure you can find a laundromat.”
“I’d rather not spend my vacation doing laundry if it can be avoided,” Gramlithyn answered, which was true.
However, he was forming a new plan. One that helped soothe some of the raw edges of his troubled emotions.
He couldn’t find anyone else to love. But that didn’t mean Gramlithyn had to stay to watch his best friend grow increasingly frustrated by what Fate had done to them.
There was a world out there Gramlithyn had never explored.
He was supposed to be moving his life forward by gaining a sensible education and building a career working for the company Pyxlevir’s father ran.
Pyxlevir was supposed to be at his side so they could support each other as best friends. That no longer appealed.
Gramlithyn wanted to run as far and fast as possible from Pyxlevir and the memory of the joy fading from his azure gaze.
So, maybe it was time for him to embark on a journey of his own.
To plot out the coming years by himself.
It was a scary thought. As his mother hummed at his side while she carefully tucked matching pants into the duffel next to the plethora of tunics Gramlithyn had added, he wondered how he’d cope without his family.
His parents were wonderful and as close to him as friends. But the secret he and Pyxlevir were keeping now hung between them. Their matebond couldn’t stay in the shadows forever either. They would push for a matebond. One Gramlithyn desperately wanted to avoid.
“Are you okay?” his mother asked as she laid an elegant hand on his arm.
Gramlithyn cleared his throat and forced a smile. “Yeah, sorry. I was going through my mental list of stuff I need for my trip.”
“Are you sure? You haven’t been yourself for the past few days.”
Stepping forward to embrace his mother, Gramlithyn bent to accommodate the several inches that separated them in height. “Just nervous. I’ve never taken a trip without you and Dad.”
Semira laughed. “You’ll be fine. Take care of yourself and Colby, and he’ll do the same. You’ll have a fantastic time, and you better take lots of pictures for Pyxlevir and me.”
The last thing Gramlithyn wanted was any discussion of Pyxlevir, so he nodded and gathered his scattered wits to finish his packing. He had research to do and plans to make for the suddenly terrifying road ahead by himself.
∞∞∞
A melodic sound filtered through Gramlithyn’s pants pocket, and he wondered who’d texted him.
The first task he’d assigned himself after leaving for his camping trip was to change the special ringtone and text notification he’d given Pyxlevir to the generic theme on his phone.
Gramlithyn had decided it would be easier to ignore any messages or calls from his best friend if he couldn’t immediately tell it was Pyxlevir.
But it wasn’t working as intended. Instead of waiting until he had a free second to check his device, Gramlithyn wanted to immediately dig his phone out of his pocket to find out if it was Pyxlevir or not.
Gramlithyn patted his pocket and disregarded his desire to tug out his phone. It was nearly a victory.
Gramlithyn’s mouth twisted. His anxiety would likely only be quelled for a matter of minutes, and the reality was, the odds of it being Pyxlevir were small. In the past three months, Pyxlevir had offered little in the way of communication. And Gramlithyn had done nothing to encourage a response.
When Pyxlevir texted, Gramlithyn forced himself to wait hours to reply.
The few calls went purposely unanswered.
Gramlithyn wished it helped his confused emotional state, but it hurt his heart.
However, it helped solidify Gramlithyn’s future.
He couldn’t return home. Not now. He didn’t want to face his mate knowing how unhappy their relationship made Pyxlevir.
His best friend had yet to announce to anyone how Fate had paired them.
Each time Gramlithyn’s parents called, a shockingly icy grip of fear clutched his soul.
So, he avoided them too. The last thing Gramlithyn wanted was to be cajoled into returning to do his duty as an elf and the Chieftain’s son by binding himself eternally to his other half.
Pyxlevir’s silence spoke volumes about his feelings.
So did his sparse attempts to converse. The messages were mundane—barely more than tepid inquiries into Gramlithyn’s day.
It was far too painful to scroll up on his phone to read the messages between them before the awful truth started tearing them apart.
In fact, it was so harrowing that in a fit of pique one night as he lay unsleeping in his tent, Gramlithyn had deleted every communication between them.
The next morning, Gramlithyn had shifted into his zebra to keep himself from weeping all day over his rash decision.
Although his beast was coping well enough with rejection, not having his connections to Pyxlevir was misery for them both.
With loneliness creeping into his bones, Gramlithyn was preparing for a future of solitude.
Colburn was returning to his family the following day.
They had extended their trip by a week, but the gargoyle-centaur was ready to get home.
Gramlithyn’s journey would continue alone.
It would be cruel to tell no one, so Gramlithyn was preparing himself for some tough conversations.
His parents would have to be told. Pyxlevir too.
It was cowardly, but Gramlithyn refused to call anyone.
Hopefully, a couple of texts would get the job done.
Then Gramlithyn would run far from the idyllic life he hadn’t appreciated nearly enough.
But Fate had intervened, and Pyxlevir’s disappointment was no small thing.
Being half elf had left Gramlithyn trapped in a box of tradition and sexuality tied solely to his other half, but he intended to shed what he could.
His first mission after he sent the brief texts he’d already drafted on his phone was to go shopping.
Every elven tunic and matching pair of pants were going straight into a donation box.
Gramlithyn planned on ripping the beads Pyxlevir had designed for him from his hair and chopping the whole long mess off.
It was impossible to do anything about his pointed ears, his limited meatless diet, or the green of his skin, but in every way possible Gramlithyn would become a shifter. He’d embrace his mother’s heritage and drop his father’s last name.
“Hey, Gramlithyn, what should we do on our last vacation day?” Colburn asked. He headed toward the rock Gramlithyn had perched himself on as he once again dwelled on the mess of his existence.
Colburn’s light yellow-green eyes were bright with excitement and a hint of mischief.
One thing Gramlithyn didn’t regret was sharing his trip with the gargoyle-cougar hybrid.
It was usually difficult to be sad around Colburn, but Gramlithyn’s life had been turned upside down, so he’d slapped a grin on his face for weeks to ensure his close friend enjoyed himself.
Thankfully, his friend’s upbeat personality ensured the trip had remained fun despite Gramlithyn’s turmoil.
“Up to you,” Gramlithyn replied.
Colburn smiled and tugged his phone out of his pocket. “Want to take some pictures of me fishing so I can tell Crispin I caught everything I ate?”
“Sure, but he’s your twin, so you’re not going to fool him,” Gramlithyn said, taking the device from Colburn. “We bought everything at the store.”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“I just remembered we don’t have a fishing pole.”
Gramlithyn rolled his eyes. “I hope you’re not going to suggest we go buy one to trick your twin.”
Reaching out, Colburn plucked his phone from Gramlithyn’s hold. “Nope, too much effort and money. I wonder if I can edit a photo to put a fishing rod in my hand?”
“Is that how you want to spend your last vacation day?”
“Yeah, good point. No, want to take a walk instead and enjoy nature?”
“Absolutely.”
Gramlithyn fell into step beside Colburn as they headed for the trees surrounding their camping spot.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we get home?” Colburn asked.
It was time to stop pretending, so Gramlithyn centered himself and took a slow breath. “I’m not going back.”
“What?” Colburn asked, halting abruptly.
“I’m not done traveling.”
“Okay, but don’t you think it’d be a good thing to go home and see everyone before exploring some more of the world? Don’t you miss your family and your bestie?”
“I do, but…well, I’m afraid if I went home now, I’d stay,” Gramlithyn replied. He took another careful breath. “If I did that. I…well, a voice is telling me I’d regret it forever. I need to do this now. Or I might never take the chance again.”
Colburn stared at him, and a shiver raced through Gramlithyn. It was a moment of reckoning. Was Gramlithyn brave enough to stick to his plan, or would he cave at the first hint of pushback?
“Promise me you won’t stay away too long,” Colburn said. “We’ll fucking miss you.”
Swallowing thickly, Gramlithyn forced a smile. “I’ll miss you too.”
“You didn’t promise.”
Gramlithyn bowed his head and hoped Fate wouldn’t smite him for any lies he told today or in the future. “I promise I won’t stay any longer than necessary.”
“Okay. Okay, good. Let’s finish our walk, then we’ll hit the store again to get you stuff to eat. We didn’t buy enough for a few more days or whatever.”
With a nod, Gramlithyn forced his feet into motion again and pretended to stare at a formation of rocks as he swept a tear from his cheek.
He wasn’t sure if his urge to weep was due to the realization of everything he was leaving behind or the open, caring heart of his good friend, but it hurt.
His zebra whined in his head, and Gramlithyn wished he could run so hard and fast that he could return to a few months ago when his biggest concern was homework and what to study next year at university.
Why had he ever wanted to believe in Fate?