Chapter 5
Despite the irritation and heartbreak of the past few months, Pyxlevir had woken with eagerness.
It was a special day in the Centaurus household.
One of the executives of Elven D’Vaire had recently met his mates.
Ardusian was currently Pyxlevir’s direct boss and was making the transition from high school student to employee an easy one, but the other elf was also a close friend of the family.
Pyxlevir was excited to meet the two men Fate had paired Ardusian with and was desperately trying not to think about the person the goddess had connected him to on his eighteenth birthday.
But it wasn’t working. Gramlithyn had spent the past several months on his camping trip with Colburn and was set to return in less than a day unless they opted to extend their trip again.
Although Pyxlevir was happy and hopeful about his imminent return, he was also terrified.
Gramlithyn wasn’t taking their matebond well.
No matter how often Pyxlevir texted, Gramlithyn waited hours before responding.
Pyxlevir’s calls went unanswered. The last thing Pyxlevir wanted to do was overwhelm Gramlithyn, so he’d curbed his desire to communicate with him constantly as they’d done since they were six.
Hopefully, some distance was giving Gramlithyn perspective.
Yes, his best friend hadn’t wanted to find his other half, but the match was now made.
They both had to deal with reality. Was it bound to be odd suddenly being sexually attracted to each other?
Of course. There were bound to be awkward moments, but they were close.
Surely that would help them navigate the hurdles of going from friends to lovers.
But Gramlithyn’s continued short responses and long silences were giving Pyxlevir terrible anxiety.
He tried to hide it from everyone around them, which was irritating.
Pyxlevir hated concealing his feelings and telling lies.
However, Pyxlevir refused to announce their matebond without Gramlithyn’s permission and the elf-zebra in question standing proudly at his side.
Elves were normally mated within a few days of meeting their other half, but tradition be damned.
Pyxlevir wanted Gramlithyn happy. Actually, Pyxlevir wanted them both to be filled with joy.
With a friendship as close as theirs, it was difficult to imagine that they couldn’t build something wonderful as long as they were fair and truthful.
Putting his hands over his pointed ears, Pyxlevir bit his lip and forced himself to stop thinking about Fate.
Today was about Ardusian and the enchanter and sentinel he was building a new life with, and Pyxlevir could deal with his own mess the following day.
Or at least wait until after Ardusian, Amaury, and Gerard had finished eating and returned home.
Pyxlevir was desperate for any distraction.
A month after he graduated from high school, his beloved Kalliope had crossed the veil, and it’d ripped Pyxlevir apart.
He’d barely pulled himself together enough to drag out her bed and toys from his bedroom when his uncle’s dog—a beautiful girl even older than Kalliope—also died.
Although Pyxlevir had his family to help him cope, he’d wanted his best friend too. Gramlithyn and Pyxlevir had spent their entire childhood with Kalliope and Pandora. But Gramlithyn was gone, so Pyxlevir had to face those now-bittersweet memories alone.
A familiar cheery sound filtered through the silk of Pyxlevir’s pants pocket, and every desire he had to ignore the messy state of his friendship with Gramlithyn was long forgotten. Plucking his phone out, Pyxlevir grinned at the notification that he had a new text from Gramlithyn.
Gramlithyn: Hey, wanted to let you know I’m extending my trip. Already let my parents know.
Pyxlevir’s brows snapped together as he read the text five times in a row to ensure he hadn’t misread it. His fingers danced on the screen as he fired off a return message.
Pyxlevir: What do you mean? You already extended it by a week. When are you coming home? Is Colby staying with you? Does Crispin know?
Although his best friend instantly read the message, there wasn’t an immediate reply.
Pyxlevir ran his tongue across his teeth and did nothing to quell the fury rushing into his veins.
In the past few weeks, he had gathered every morsel of patience within himself to give Gramlithyn a bit of space.
He’d convinced himself that as soon as Gramlithyn returned, they could sit down and discuss the massive change in their lives.
Instead, the hybrid had the audacity to announce that his trip wasn’t ending again, and this time it was at the last damn minute.
The phone Pyxlevir was clutching in a now-sweaty hand finally beeped, and he narrowed his eyes at the curt response.
Gramlithyn: Colby is going home in the morning. Not sure how long I’ll be gone, I want to do some traveling. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Pyxlevir was being dismissed, which was unacceptable. Without giving himself a moment to think, he sent a second text.
Pyxlevir: I’m calling you in a second, and you better answer. If you don’t, I’ll keep calling.
That was the best threat Pyxlevir could think of, and he wasn’t interested in being coy with endless messages. With a few feverish taps, Pyxlevir had his phone to his ear. It took three rings, but a wave of profound relief temporarily shunted his fury as he heard Gramlithyn’s voice.
“Hi,” Gramlithyn said.
“Hello, Gramlithyn, how are you?” Pyxlevir asked in his best customer service voice.
“Fine. Why are you calling?”
Pyxlevir’s mouth dropped open, and for a split second his mind went blank. What in the world was wrong with Gramlithyn, and why was he acting so ignorant?
“I would have thought it was obvious why I was calling.”
“What do you mean?”
“Gramlithyn, you just texted me that you’re not coming home tomorrow. That’s it. No other information. Where are you going? When are you returning?”
“I’m staying at this campsite for another day. Then I’ll be traveling. There are places I want to visit. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take to get everywhere I want to go.”
“Don’t you think it’d make more sense to come home and plan a trip with an itinerary?”
“I’m already packed and have the essentials with me.”
“What about everyone here?” Pyxlevir dared to ask.
“What do you mean?”
“Your parents? What about them? How do they feel about you extending your travels?”
“I’m an adult; I can go wherever I want.”
Pyxlevir wanted to demand to know about their matebond and what this meant for their future, but he hesitated. Was it too needy or overwhelming to bring up their changed relationship? Maybe it was safer to focus on their friendship instead.
“What about me? Your best friend?” Pyxlevir asked, hoping he was the only one who noticed the tremor in his voice.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or throw a few things across the room.
As a normally calm elf, Pyxlevir wasn’t sure what to do with the extreme emotions he’d been plagued with since the day he discovered Gramlithyn was his other half.
“What does that mean?”
“I’m here. You’re traveling. In the past couple of weeks, we’ve hardly talked.”
“You don’t like camping. That’s what my trip is and will continue to be for now.”
“Did you pick a camping trip because you knew I wouldn’t want to go and you preferred that I be left out?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Come on, Pyx. Maybe I picked camping because I like it.”
“Since when?” Pyxlevir shouted. “How many times in the past twelve years have you gone camping?”
“You know the answer to that already.”
“Which is why I’m wondering what the hell is going on.”
“Everyone knows what you like and what you don’t.”
“Okay, I’m open about myself,” Pyxlevir replied.
“I don’t get why you’re yelling at me because I finally took a trip I’ve wanted to go on.”
“Maybe because you didn’t mention it to me until you’d already planned the entire thing. That’s weird, Gramlithyn. You usually tell me everything, yet you didn’t bother to discuss this whole camping thing at all.”
“Was I supposed to ask your permission?”
Pyxlevir was unprepared for the bite in Gramlithyn’s tone. “No, that’s not what I meant. I was trying to point out that we don’t normally have secrets.”
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing. I wanted to take a trip. I still want to travel, so I’m going to do that.”
“For how long?”
“I already told you I don’t know.”
Swallowing thickly, Pyxlevir sat heavily on the edge of his bed. “What about everything else?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Was Gramlithyn being deliberately obtuse, or was he in complete denial about their matebond? Pyxlevir desperately wished he had some experience in relationships or at least a smidgen more maturity so he could figure out how to respond in a way that wouldn’t scare or traumatize either of them.
“I’m an elf,” Pyxlevir ventured.
“Yes, I know.”
“You’re an elf too.”
“Only half. I’m a shifter.”
“I wasn’t trying to minimize your zebra. You know I love zebras.”
“But not as much as centaurs. Or dragons. And we can’t forget phoenixes, gargoyles, griffins—”
“I never said I loved anything better than zebras,” Pyxlevir protested.
“Not directly, but you definitely did.”
Shocked, Pyxlevir sat there with his mouth hanging open while he wondered what the fuck Gramlithyn was talking about. “Huh? What? When?”
“What does it matter?”
“Because you’re not giving me the chance to defend myself. I never put anything above zebras. I literally have zebra beads in my hair right now.”
“They’re just beads. You’ve made it clear how you feel.”
“You’re hurting my feelings right now, and you won’t even explain what you’re talking about.”
“I need to go. I have things to do.”
“Why are you being so cruel?”
“I’m not,” Gramlithyn growled. “Look, I’m traveling for a while. I don’t know when I’ll be back. There are a lot of things I want to do, and I’ve decided to give myself the freedom to do them.”
“What about us?” Pyxlevir asked in hardly more than a whisper.
He was losing his fight to keep his tears at bay.
His soulmate was on the other line, refusing to explain himself or, for some reason, believing Pyxlevir put other types of shifters above zebras.
What else was going on in Gramlithyn’s head, and how could Pyxlevir straighten out any misconceptions if they were barely talking?
“I understand if you’d prefer to put our friendship on hold until I return. As you can tell from the past few weeks, I don’t want to spend my time on my phone. I’m out here exploring the world, and I can’t do that if I’m constantly texting and calling.”
Not bothering to respond to Gramlithyn, Pyxlevir ended the call and tossed his phone aside. He lifted his knees to hug himself but forgot that he was still wearing silk and sitting on the edge of his bed. Sliding unceremoniously to the floor, Pyxlevir wrapped his arms around his legs and cried.
Gramlithyn couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge that they had a matebond, let alone discuss it.
There were no more questions in Pyxlevir’s mind about their relationship.
His best friend couldn’t deal with Fate’s choice, so he was running away.
Visions of the past twelve years danced through Pyxlevir’s brain, and his heart broke.
If Pyxlevir could have met Fate and asked her directly to offer him someone who suited him perfectly, he would’ve selected Gramlithyn.
Their friendship had been so tight, and Pyxlevir imagined it could’ve been beautiful.
But Pyxlevir had ended his dreams because Gramlithyn had been so vocal for so long about his desire to avoid finding his other half.
It tore Pyxlevir apart to think of a future without Gramlithyn at his side.
The truth was Pyxlevir likely would’ve been happy to pretend they weren’t mates until Gramlithyn was ready to be tied down to someone.
But Gramlithyn hadn’t given him any choices.
He’d taken off at the first opportunity to avoid everything.
Or more specifically, Pyxlevir.
In fact, Gramlithyn was giving up his family and pushing off the job he was supposed to start on Monday to escape Pyxlevir. It wasn’t some phantom person but Pyxlevir that Gramlithyn found so distasteful. A devastating yet inescapable conclusion.
What was Pyxlevir supposed to do now?
There weren’t many choices. Somehow, he’d have to pick up the shattered, heartbroken pieces of himself and move on.
Gramlithyn didn’t want to talk to him. The idea of being mates was so repugnant to Gramlithyn that he was sacrificing their friendship.
Pyxlevir was forced to wonder if their bond was as close as he’d once believed.
Resting his forehead on his knees, Pyxlevir felt his chest heave as a fresh torrent of tears wracked his small frame. If the last several weeks were anything to go by, then Pyxlevir already hated being an adult.
What the fuck was he supposed to with an eternity matched with someone who hated him?