Chapter 11
“It costs you nothing to clear your name,” he countered.
“Oh, that’s a leap. It means I would trust you to not run your mouth on sensitive information and I don’t. Plus, that you would be accurate in who you would tell and I don’t trust that either.”
“You are trying my patience, child,” he snapped, power in his voice. “I want the truth and no more lies. If I have to force you to tell me, then I will when—”
“Touch her and I will put you down,” a deep voice said from my right, a growl that meant business.
And I couldn’t hide my shock he was there even if I didn’t want to spare him a glance and check he really was. I had to stay focused on the threat.
The angel adjusted his neck and his anger at me increased. “You are already making a mess of this for me.”
“No, you are,” Dylan, my former lover, warned. He was a powerful bear shifter and Deputy Director of ISLE… And had no reason to be there.
“Stay out of this,” we both told him, the angel doing a double take and cooling off.
“He has no idea,” I told the angel. “Just hold on and don’t pull anything and I’ll handle it.” Relief filled me when he chilled and seemed confused again. I turned to Dylan and I was sure every emotion played across my face.
He cleared his throat as he cut me a glance, still pointing his gun at the angel. “I’m good at my job. I know how to find you.”
“Yes, but I made it clear you shouldn’t,” I muttered. “Put the damn gun down. It won’t even do anything besides piss him off.”
He frowned, but then did a double take… And started moving towards me like he was going to put himself in the path to block me.
“Oh, this isn’t the time for you to be chivalrous when we both know I’m stronger,” I bitched and moved to the other side of the car. I ignored when he growled and stared at him over the top. “What are you doing here? I’m undercover.”
“I know,” he muttered, rolling his eyes and putting his gun away. Then he huffed and shot a glance at the angel. “Why…” He cleared his throat and looked guilty and contrite.
Which again shocked me.
And amused the angel for some reason.
“I wasn’t—I didn’t want this to be sent along as a message, and I figured I could catch you before—I could catch you,” he mumbled.
“I hate to be rude, but you deserve it and I’m a bit busy and you’re both about to blow my cover,” I bitched.
Dylan scrubbed his neck harder than needed before meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry.”
The angel of all people snorted. “I believe you need to specify, bear.”
Yeah, I seconded that.
Dylan ignored him. “Something all of you have yelled at me specifically for was valid. I was unfair.” He huffed again and shot the angel an annoyed look before focusing back on me.
“How I reacted to what I learned that day. I was completely out of line and no matter my shock—you didn’t lie.
I was an asshole. My apology should have been better. ”
I opened my mouth and almost said “that’s it?” but then slowly closed it, simply staring at him for several long moments. Too long even.
“This is more painful than being around my own,” the angel grumbled.
“I will try and forgive you for that, but it’s a bit late, and you understand that’s not like enough to cover all that happened, right?” I asked Dylan, making sure I was on the same page with… Whatever was happening.
“I know,” he whispered, looking away from me. “I’m just—everyone thinks I’m the asshole. Everyone. Even—everyone. I’m trying to see it and sort through it. I saw that and—really saw it. I didn’t want to pass along a message or—I heard them on how much that hurt you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Thank you for apologizing,” I said, not sure what else to do.
He nodded. “That was all I planned to say but kinda hard to leave when this is going on and like… Yeah, don’t—”
I didn’t want the stupid bear to say too much, so I focused back on the angel. “What do you even want to know?”
“What really happened with Lucifer, which the bear seems to know about but not really,” the angel muttered.
“You obviously spoke with the ones involved and I won’t tell you anything different,” I said firmly. “So you wasted a trip. Have a lovely night.” I ignored the look Dylan was giving me that I had lost my mind as I turned and told him to be careful getting home.
“That’s not good enough,” the angel snapped and moved closer.
“Well, life is disappointing for all of us, so why should you be any different?” I asked him with a tired sigh.
“You won’t tell me your name or what you’re really about.
You have been watching me. You won’t choose a side if trouble comes.
I have no idea if I can trust you. Yeah, right, sure, let me tell you everything I know—like fuck off, Uncle. ”
“Do not push me too far when I was willing to—” he started to say, but Dylan cut in.
“What part do you need cleared for your conscience?” he asked, studying the angel, both of us looking at him now like he was nuts.
He narrowed his eyes. “I can’t read you like normal either, but I know specific types of stress and regret like you missed too much or need to hear—you need one specific piece of information to settle with this. ”
The angel was quiet too long again before giving a sharp nod and focusing back on me. “I know they’re lying. I know to protect you and probably the other demons that you are—I don’t want the children of angels hurt either, even if none of you…”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “So you’ve fathered some, huh?”
“Do not judge what you cannot understand,” he warned.
“Fair, but I’d remind you the same.”
He seemed to accept that and showed real emotion before glancing between us and meeting my gaze. “You are the first I cannot see through your glamour and that raises questions I should demand the answers to. I should.”
“But?” I swallowed a tired sigh when he didn’t answer. “Is Dylan right and there’s one thing that you just can’t let go? If that’s it—just ask that then.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth, clearly not liking that I wouldn’t just bend to his will.
Except it wasn’t just that. It was more than that.
“You can’t even speak it because you can’t believe it in your soul,” I whispered, my heart hurting for him. “You look as wrecked as I would feel if Kyria or Elijah had gone off the rails and someone told me that. It wouldn’t—there would never be a world where I could accept or reconcile with that.”
Bingo. It was all in his eyes.
I swallowed loudly. “It was my portal in their house. That’s what they’re protecting, but—I didn’t see the beginning. Yes, I arrived—”
“Jasmine,” Dylan growled.
“It’s his brother, one he loved,” I told him.
“There is no world where—I would never stop if it was Elijah.” I let out a slow breath and met the angel’s gaze.
“I came through the portal and the fight was going on. I sent the message for help and others came. We helped. They did not lie that they handled it.”
The angel crossed his arms over his chest and bobbed his head. “They just left you off the report.”
“Yes. And I’m sorry for your loss, but he—I’ve seen people out of their minds and feral. I cannot…” I blew out a harsh breath. “When he saw a demon in the house of an angel like I was welcome there, it was like another layer of feral rage that—” I sniffled and blinked back tears.
“Not all of us feel that way,” the angel muttered.
“You misunderstand,” Dylan mumbled.
I nodded that he was right. “David, Nathanial, Sebastian—all of them—all they cared about was getting me back out. Lucifer came for me and—he did most of that damage to himself in his madness that angels had made friends with demons. It was all insanity. I’m sorry for your loss, but I couldn’t lose them and I don’t regret calling in the help. ”
“No, I don’t suppose you do,” he said quietly.
He opened his mouth but then closed it, shaking his head.
“You are so young and even your ancients are young to me, but when you live so long, you blink and centuries have passed. A blip and one sibling or another has slid so far off the path that—free will is truly the double-edged sword when we are denied so much.”
“I definitely have a lot of complaints about the way things were set up,” I agreed.
Sadness was in his eyes when he met my gaze again. “Or were changed. You weren’t wrong, young Nephilim. You were originally Nephilim.” He nodded when I couldn’t hide my shock. “Originally.”
“What changed?” Dylan asked.
“Pride,” I answered. “Someone’s pride is what always ruins things and hurts others. What pushes people to make others below them or… It’s always pride.”
“Yes, but not solely, and honestly I was not party to it. It was before many of us and that knowledge erased. I would suspect those who were called as such were erased as well and that is why we were then created and not told we could father children.” He swallowed loudly. “Thank you for answering my questions.”
I knew I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but I was still worried at this development. “How do you know I’m telling the truth if you can’t get a read on me?” I nodded when he shot Dylan a look.
“His fear thinking of that day says it all,” he answered directly.
“Whatever you went through or how it played out—it wasn’t nefarious and Lucifer was truly that problem.
He’s not worried about you getting caught or…
There’s more, but clearly that has more to do with you not wanting him here, and I am not here to get to know you or be your friend. ”
Well, that was good to know.
“They won’t be punished, right?” I checked.
“No, and I will make it clear that I investigated more as well, but they are playing with fire gathering more angels of their level to their cause,” he warned, giving me a hard look.
“Many do not want you and yours to return to the status of Nephilim, which was before that level of angel even came about. Some will take them as trying to bring that about.”