Chapter 8 Break Time #2
Dennis walks behind us slowly, Kareem’s car having already driven away to make room for the next person to get out.
Luc walks me over to the barriers on the left, where I meet a few young girls.
I sign copies of Your Email Didn’t Find Me Well and take selfies with their phones.
I hope I never have to see the result, although I know the photo will be floating around on the internet somewhere, even if my eyes are shut and my lipstick is smudged outside of the line.
Luc signs a few autographs of his own, his non-dominant hand never straying far from resting on the small of my back. I wish we’d settled on how much PDA was too much. Set boundaries of when and where we’d be fine being touched and for how long.
Anything we can do to make it as fake as possible, as regimented. To make it not feel like it did ten years ago when Luc’s touch lit up every inch of my skin. When I wanted to tear his clothes off every time we got home.
Anything that will make this as platonic as possible to protect myself.
We make our way further along, the paparazzi cameras getting thicker, and more journalists with microphones appearing along the sidelines. They’re all vying for my attention, hoping to get that all important exclusive.
‘Sienna, how’s it going with your mystery man?’ one shouts as I walk past.
I squeeze Luc’s hand and look at him, hoping the cameras will pick up my ‘happiness’ and ‘love’.
‘Really well,’ I smile. ‘This is Luc, so we can all stop calling him my mystery man.’
‘Where did you meet?’ another asks.
‘When I was on Eric Lancaster’s Laughs for Infinite Ghost a decade ago – Luc worked on the show.’
‘How did you get together?’ I’m not sure if it’s the same person who says this or not.
‘I’ve been chasing her ever since!’ Luc jokes. ‘I guess I finally wore her down.’
I pretend to laugh along with his joke, but something is bubbling in my core, my blood fizzing.
Luc’s cherry brown eyes glint, reflecting the flashing cameras, and he touches the bottom of my chin with his index finger.
He gently pushes my head up the small amount needed to make our faces level.
He leans in, his nose slipping past mine, and presses a kiss against my lips.
He’s warm and tastes of sugary coffee and my entire body tenses.
A subtle smell of expensive aftershave. Different to what he used to wear.
This one is kind of a leathery, wooden smell.
Underneath is that smell of sea breeze, the washing powder he’s always used.
It’s homely, comforting – the same Luc from all those years ago deep down.
My body doesn’t relax when he pulls away.
Alex Pauls struts up the carpet, giving his fans a quick two-finger wave but going nowhere near them. His smile is more of a smoulder than a true expression of his happiness for his latest movie – destined to be another box-office hit.
I pose for more photos, ignoring most of the questions shouted at me, not knowing who the questions are coming from or whether I’ve caught the entire thing before someone else has interrupted with another demand.
I’m smiling at a camera in the front row.
The photographer is young, younger than me, and wears her smile with every muscle in her face.
She has bright scarlet hair and green glasses in a slight cat-eye shape.
She isn’t holding a huge professional camera bigger than her head, but instead her iPhone.
One of the new ones with three cameras on the back.
Dennis follows me when I walk towards her, and the shouts get louder. There’s a worn picture in the back of her clear phone case. Her, or someone who looks like her, with a baby in their arms. I wonder if it’s of her and her child, or whether the child is her.
‘Hi, Sienna,’ she smiles. ‘How are you?’
I flinch. How am I? ‘I’m well thank you, you? What’s your name?’
‘Caoimhe.’ She’s still smiling. ‘Would I be able to ask you a question?’
I get ready for another question about Luc, whose presence I can sense a few steps behind me. ‘Of course,’ I reply.
‘If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?’
I try to keep the surprise off my face. ‘Great question… I guess I’d tell myself to get more comfortable more quickly with not pleasing everyone.’
Caoimhe nods along, checking the screen on her iPhone.
‘I wasted so much of my younger years getting bogged down with negative reviews or criticism, when really there were so many people who loved what I was doing. So why was I getting so worked up by the negativity? Wasting my time trying to perfect a new sound which still wouldn’t please everyone?’
‘I think we, as women in society, all waste far too much time doing this,’ Caoimhe says.
I nod furiously. ‘Absolutely. We don’t see men bending themselves to fit in society’s impossibly tiny box.’
‘I was going to ask you for the one thing you would change for women in the entertainment industry, is that it?’
‘I would say so.’
Caoimhe looks at Dennis. ‘Can I have one more question?’
I don’t wait to see Dennis’s reaction. ‘Of course you can.’
‘Do you like to read, and if so, what are you reading at the moment?’
‘I love to read,’ I smile. ‘I don’t read enough while I’m writing songs because I just get so completely and utterly lost in the process and can’t think of anything else for weeks. But I mostly read love stories.’
‘Me too!’ Caoimhe agrees, clapping her hand to her chest. ‘I’d really love to hear more about your favourites, but I think you’re being moved along.’
‘It was lovely to meet you, Caoimhe.’
Dennis’s hand is on my shoulder, getting ready to move me down the line.
‘Give her Mimi’s card,’ I tell him. ‘Let’s set up a proper chat.’
Caoimhe’s cheeks flush crimson. ‘I really appreciate that. Thank you, Sienna.’
I take her hand between both of mine and squeeze it gently. ‘Thank you for not asking me about men.’ And then I’m brushed away from her and into the venue.
There are seemingly hundreds of people inside the cinema, the whole foyer decked out in the movie’s memorabilia. All the staff are wearing suits and sunglasses, very similar to the villains in the movie, and the carpet is now green, as though we are walking through a field on set.
‘What the hell was that?’ I whisper at Luc, the smile still fixed on my face.
Luc narrows his eyes and pulls me into a quiet corner, his hand still in mine.
I’m overstimulated and the contact of his skin on mine is sending me into overdrive.
There’s no experience like a red carpet.
Putting myself on display to be shouted at and ordered around.
The questions and how everyone speaks over each other muffling voices down until you can’t hear any of the words, so it’s just shouts, screams, cries for attention.
‘The kiss,’ I hiss-whisper. ‘We said no PDA.’
‘I’m so– We said we didn’t have to be all over each other,’ he points out. ‘I di– I thought that left room for– I thought I was doing what we needed to convince people about us. But I’m really sorry that I broke your boundaries– complete misunderstanding.’
I frown but ultimately nod. ‘Makes sense. Fine.’
‘Can I tell you why I did it?’ Luc asks. ‘I wanted to silence the doubters.’
He’s seen the comments too.
‘I thought it would look natural and wasn’t too heavy to break our rule because it was just a peck,’ he whispers.
I force another smile. It makes sense. ‘We can talk about this later. Make the boundaries clearer.’
A waitress appears with a tray of champagne and we both take a glass.
‘How are you feeling about all of this? The work stuff, us?’ I ask.
‘Full honesty?’
I give a single nod.
‘Pretty tough. The work stuff happened at such an awkward time, and it was so quick. The show was doing so well but they’re making budget cuts and can’t afford to shoot another season after the next.
So, the producer and I had to re-write the whole season – which is about to start filming – to tie up all the loose ends.
’ He shakes his head. ‘It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.
But I’m back in the thinking of new ideas-slash-writing stage, and it’s always nice to have a new idea to be excited about. ’
‘What do you think you’re going to do next?’
‘The world’s my oyster.’ Luc’s face remains firm when he says it. ‘Might try to write my own movie, potentially. There’s talk of adapting the book about the reality star who ruins her life, do you know it?’
I nod, though I haven’t read it. I pick at a piece of skin at the edge of my cuticle, avoiding his gaze.
‘What’s that face for?’ Luc questions.
‘It’s nothing– I ju– It makes me feel funny knowing that someone is only around me to get some clout for a new project. I know you’ve been transparent about it, but normally when I find out things like this, I don’t stick around, so it feels a bit unnatural for me.’
Luc frowns, his shoulders raising. ‘Sorry, did you miss the fact that I’m only here because you need me for good press?’ His voice is a whisper, but his tone is harsh.
We are so lucky there is no one around.
‘Let’s just drop it.’
‘Yeah, let’s just drop it,’ Luc grumbles. ‘It’ll be a week before you disappear, and I never hear from you again anyway.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘What? That’s your style, isn’t it?’
I look around the room, no one is within ear distance. ‘Let’s drop this.’
The doors to the cinema screen open and people start to trail in. I hadn’t noticed that Luc collected both of our reservations for us so that we know where to sit. He guides me towards my seat with a light touch on the bottom of my back.
Perfect acting.
Omg she looks so happy in this photo
I still don’t buy it
Her little smile when he kisses her!
What a gorgeous couple
I give it 2 weeks