Chapter 8 Break Time
brEAK TIME
I need that cooling off period when I’m seeing someone. Take some time away so things don’t get too serious or locked in. So, I wrote a song about it, and now no one can say they didn’t expect that from me.
Another day, another party dress, another car to a gorgeous venue. Another day of people watching my every move, of not being able to drop the smile painted on my face for even a second.
Dina and James zip me into a skin-tight nude bodysuit with a floor-length mesh cover-up.
I am embellished from bust-to-toe in appliquéd flowers, a garden of tulips, mums, and lilies.
All in pink and orange hues. Mimi is working on a partnership with Polly Riviera for an outfit for the Your Email Didn’t Find Me Well tour, and this is what they wanted me to wear this time.
I take as deep a breath as I can in the tight fabric. The doorbell rings and there’s movement downstairs as someone goes to open it. I’m not moving very fast or very far in this gown.
Seems a bit excessive for someone else’s movie premiere, but Mimi decided it was warranted because I wrote and sang two whole songs for the soundtrack.
The fans will be thrilled they’re already getting more music from me when I’ve only just released Your Email Didn’t Find Me Well.
And it’s mine and Luc’s debut as a couple.
I spent most of the day doomscrolling. After Jess planted the story about me being excited to bring Luc along tonight, people couldn’t stop talking about it.
There are lots of polarising opinions. Some are accusations of a stunt relationship, because why would I bring someone to work this early otherwise, and others are saying that we’re moving quicker because we’ve known each other for a long time and therefore we’re more comfortable with each other.
All I know is that it’s going to take a bit more effort to convince everyone that we’re in love.
Dina picks up the train of the dress, wordlessly helping me down the stairs. I tread carefully, making sure a rogue piece of fabric doesn’t get stuck under my foot to send me flying.
Luc is waiting in the hallway, watching my steps as I climb downstairs. Dina starts rearranging my curls, making sure they are glued in place with yet more hairspray.
Luc is wearing a black suit with a nude tie, appliquéd with the same flowers as my dress. There was talk of him wearing a nude-coloured suit with the flowers covering his blazer to match but, with only the tie, it’s understated. Much more to Luc’s taste.
‘You look very pretty,’ he tells me.
I can hardly meet his eyes, a hot flush creeping up my chest.
His eyes trail over my face, and I’m transported a decade into the past. The heat in his eyes when he’d called me gorgeous before unzipping the dress I’d worn for dinner, letting it drop to the floor in a ripple around my feet.
The grunt in the back of his throat when I’d undressed him button by button.
I drop his arm and take a few steps to put some distance between us, managing to force out a ‘thank you’.
Mimi comes out of the living room, Jess behind her.
‘What a gorgeous couple you make,’ Mimi grins.
‘Admiring your handiwork?’ I smile at her, and she returns it warmly with a small nod of her head. ‘By the way, Memes… Luc is coming with me to Rory’s charity gala. I, er, asked him. Hope that’s okay.’
‘Great idea.’
‘And, from now on, I’ll invite Luc to all these events. It’ll feel more natural for me.’
‘If that’s what you both want, I’m happy to go along with it.’
She is absolutely unflappable.
Luc smiles, a glint in his eyes and a crinkle in his lip as he holds in a laugh.
I lift each foot individually, clutching onto Luc and James for balance while Dina buckles my shoes.
I’m off balance for a few moments, trying to figure out where my new centre of gravity is now that I’m only a quarter of an inch shorter than Luc.
‘This feels kind of like we’re going to prom,’ Luc comments.
A laugh erupts out of me. ‘Then it would be my first.’ I’d already left school to pursue music by the time prom rolled around.
‘The most important thing is–’ Mimi wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and I see Dina cringe behind her when my curls are crushed against my back. ‘That you have a good time.’ As soon as Mimi breaks away, Dina rushes back to fix what is now out of place.
‘You too, Luc,’ Mimi adds.
‘Thank you, Memes.’ Luc repeats my nickname for her.
‘It’s Mimi to you,’ she scolds, still smiling.
And then we’re back in the car for another forty-five minutes or so in traffic until we get to Leicester Square.
What if things look stilted? Awkward and uncomfortable between us? There’ll be a story in the papers tomorrow about how there’s clearly already trouble in paradise, and people will pretty quickly put two-and-two together.
We haven’t even discussed how we’ll act in public. We’re about to crash and burn on our first proper outing together. We should have planned this more. Had a meeting this afternoon. Been briefed by Jess.
‘Just be yourselves,’ is not a great plan when we’re, firstly, not in love and, secondly, avoiding a pretty big conversation about what I did to him.
We used to talk all the time. We used to be awake for most of the night talking about everything: our families, our dreams for the future, our childhoods, what we’d done that day and what our upcoming plans were.
And any silence we did have was comfortable.
We didn’t have to fill it to enjoy each other’s company.
That’s probably what made me feel settled. Too settled.
This is Luc we’re talking about. Why is he being so nice to me?
Why is he not breaking down my door for an explanation of why I would leave him with no explanation and then show up ten years later with some bizarre plan about turning the tide of public opinion?
And what happened with Rose? What is he not telling me?
Why did he actually agree to this stupid plan?
Why did either of us agree to this stupid plan?
‘You okay?’ Luc’s eyes are searching my face, hunting for clues, for the route to the answer quicker than my mouth can say it.
I nod. ‘Absolutely fine.’
‘What actually happens at a premiere?’ Luc asks.
My mouth drops open. ‘Have you never been to one?’
He laughs. ‘Normal people don’t make a habit of going to movie premieres.’
‘I know that. But you literally worked for Eric Lancaster’s Laughs when I met you.
You created Hostile Minds – yeah, I looked it up.
You’re a screenwriter. You’re not exactly a normal person either.
’ I swear he winces, but I continue anyway.
‘It’s not completely out of the realm of possibility that you may have been invited to a premiere at some point or another.
I actually think you’re more likely to be the one to go to premieres out of the two of us, considering you write things for the screen. ’
I hear him swallow. ‘You’re right. I have been invited to one before,’ he admits, a hard edge to his voice. ‘But I didn’t go.’
‘Why?’
He goes quiet for a few seconds, like he’s trying to carefully word what he wants to say. I turn around and he simply shrugs. ‘Didn’t want to go on my own.’
A beat of silence which feels so unlike the silence between us ten years ago.
‘And I didn’t really want the attention. You know me.’
When we were together the first time, he would always wear a hat and sunglasses, sometimes a face mask too if it was really busy so that no one could recognise him if they saw us together.
‘You must really want to get back at Rose if you’re doing this now.’ I regret the comment as soon as it leaves my mouth.
His eyes glass over. ‘Drop it, Sienna. Please.’
More silence.
‘So, what happens at one?’ he continues.
‘There’s lots of walking, talking, pictures, and then you sit and watch the film.’
‘Oh, it’s literally a movie premiere.’
‘What did you think happened when you got inside?’
‘More walking, talking.’
A laugh escapes me in a huff, tension dissipating slightly. ‘I mean, you’re not completely wrong, but we do watch the film too… Usually.’
He raises an eyebrow.
‘There was this one time where the film didn’t come on. It just didn’t work. Bit awkward,’ I explain.
Luc laughs.
‘There was a fault with the screen, or something like that.’
We’re pulling up at the end of the red carpet and Luc’s head snaps to face me, a wild look in his eyes, bulging as his eyebrows lift in panic.
‘Ready?’ I ask and don’t know why I do because he’s clearly not ready.
‘We don’t have a plan,’ he whispers.
Dennis is already opening the door.
I shrug and paint a smile on my face. ‘Follow my lead.’ I’ll have to make it up as I go along. Convince every single person at this premiere and across the world that I am in love with this man.
I don’t even know what it feels like to be in love.
Luc is the first of us both on the red carpet.
He uses all his charm and charisma, waving to fans screaming behind metal barriers, flashing their cameras and waving pieces of paper for autographs.
Dennis gives him a small nod and Luc opens my car door, helping me out and steadying me as I balance on my pin-thin stilettos on the carpet.
The screams get louder and I’m sure I see someone burst into tears.
I swallow the golf ball-sized lump in my throat, waving at the crowd on both sides, looping my hand through Luc’s arm and clutching him as tightly as I can.
He rests his other hand on top of mine and smiles at me, the flashes getting more and more intense.
My arm is stiff in his, especially with his hand on top of mine.
I’m trying to relax, but my muscles defy me.
‘Ready?’ I mouth.
This time he nods.