Chapter 22 #2
‘Dinner?’ Luc offers, filling the pan with water from a bottle, something I mentioned doing once because I was so worried about using the tap water. I know it’s not necessary, but I recognise he’s trying to make me feel comfortable. He chops the tomatoes and pancetta.
‘I’m going to go and get a shower, will leave you two lovebirds to it,’ Dennis says and disappears up the stairs before we can respond.
I look at Luc, expecting him to look horrified, but instead he laughs. ‘I guess he heard?’
‘I guess so.’ I’m horrified.
‘Probably weren’t as quiet as we thought.’ He drops the tomatoes into a pan.
‘That is something I do not want to think about.’
Luc laughs, a great guffaw from the base of his stomach. ‘He was bound to know, Sie.’ He stirs the ingredients and chops some garlic. ‘His job is to know everything about you to keep you safe, right?’
I nod.
‘There’s a reason he’s practically attached to your hip,’ Luc says.
‘True. I don’t feel safe unless he’s around.’
‘I think…’ Luc stirs the tomatoes and then puts a lid on top of the pan, balancing it so there’s a small gap for steam to escape. ‘That we would’ve been okay here with him staying somewhere nearby.’
‘Probably, but the only other rental available was in the next town, which felt too far away if I needed him.’
He glances at me earnestly. ‘I can keep you safe, Sienna.’
His words recoil in my stomach, acid swirling. I don’t want to be someone’s problem, their job. I don’t want him to have to live like that.
‘I don’t want you to have to shoulder that kind of responsibility.’
‘Think of it this way: if you weren’t famous, Dennis wouldn’t be around. Then it would, it would be my res– job to keep you safe.’ He stirs the tomatoes and salts the water.
‘If I wasn’t famous, we wouldn’t be here,’ I point out. ‘We would never have met at Eric Lancaster, and we definitely wouldn’t be in a PR relationship if I didn’t have a reputation to overhaul.’
‘Have you ever heard of the invisible string theory?’ He puts a crisp in my mouth before eating one himself.
I shake my head.
‘It’s this idea that two people who are destined to be together are made up of all these invisible strings that lead them to each other.
’ He takes my hand, seemingly unable to keep the smile off his face.
‘It can just be for a best friend or a pet – or, even, like, a hairdresser.’ He swallows.
‘But it can also be your life partner… the person you’re supposed to be with. ’
I suck on my cheeks, folding my arms across my chest. ‘Do you think that’s us?’ I croak, my voice quaking.
Luc nods quickly. ‘I do.’ A squeeze of my hand, the clamminess squelching between us.
My eyes fill with water, and I’m unsteady on my feet.
‘I can see you freaking out.’
‘Not at all.’ It’s a lie. I worry my lip and scrape my other hand through my hair. My voice is dry.
‘Sienna, I need you to know I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving,’ he whispers, his own voice shaking. ‘I know it scares you, that you leave people before they can leave you.’ He takes a deep breath, his eyes darting over my face. ‘That’s not me. I’m not going to do that.’
‘What are our invisible strings?’ I ask.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, if we hadn’t met on Eric Lancaster, what else– what other strings are pulling us together?’
‘I don’t know,’ Luc admits. ‘They’re invisible. It could be– it might just be something like if you weren’t famous, we would’ve used the same bus route, shopped at the same supermarket, or your brother could’ve been my colleague.’
I wince.
‘None of these things ha– needed to happen because we did meet on Eric Lancaster and things have been keeping us together ever since,’ Luc says.
‘You were engaged,’ I blurt. ‘How– why would you get engaged if you thought we were destined to be together?’ My stomach hardens.
The tomatoes scream at us from the pan, and Luc breaks our connection to lift the lid, letting the steam out. The smell makes my mouth water.
The silence between us lands on my body, tar in my lungs pushing down my breath.
I know I’ve said the wrong thing, bringing up Rose.
Luc presses his fist to his lips, his brow furrowed.
There’s nothing untrue about what I said – Luc did get engaged.
There was a time, in the grand scheme of things not that long ago, that he promised to love another woman for the rest of his life.
Of course, it’s going to be confusing for me to stand here with him saying things like we’re destined to be together in that context.
Especially when our time is running out.
‘I did love Rose.’ Luc’s voice breaks the silence like a blunt knife.
I swallow hard, trying to stop my tears. I already knew that he loved Rose – obviously he did, they were engaged – but the confirmation makes my shoulders droop, eyes water.
‘And I’m not going to say that I’ve always loved you more because I don’t– I’m not sure that would be completely true,’ Luc continues.
My stomach drops.
‘Or fair, to her or you.’ He turns away from me, pretending to be interested in the garlic on the chopping board. ‘I’ve loved you both a lot – in very different ways,’ Luc admits.
I hunch over, clutching my stomach, unable to look at him.
‘Rose was lovely,’ Luc continues. ‘She gave me a very stable life.’ He inhales deeply and looks at the ceiling for a few moments.
‘But I’m not sure that I was ever in love with her.
’ He takes my hand again with both of his, running his thumb over the freckle which marks the end of my index finger.
‘When she left, it didn’t hurt me as much as I thought it would.
It hurt, but it was survivable.’ He shakes his head.
‘I could… go to work, get on with things – nothing like the pain I still felt that you’d l– left. ’
My hand becomes rigid in his.
‘I’m not sure I’m explaining myself properly.
’ He runs his hand through his hair with his free hand.
‘This pain embedded itself in me the minute you left, and years later it was still coming back with the same ferocity. Like there was a permanent hole that no matter how many times I patched it up, it still leaked.’ Luc bites his bottom lip and doesn’t take his eyes off me.
I don’t reply, my eyes on our intertwined hands. I turn my head and suck my cheek. He pulls me closer, and I don’t fight him.
‘I need you to trust me, Sienna.’ His voice comes out quieter than a whisper. If his face wasn’t so close to mine, I doubt I would’ve heard him.
My voice is just as quiet, if not quieter, and it breaks in the middle of the single word. ‘Okay.’
Luc snores softly through his nose and breathes out quickly.
Who knew snoring could be so cute? I don’t want to disturb him, but I need to get the air conditioning on.
I contort my body so that I can reach the bedside table without moving him.
I get my finger on the edge of the remote and bring it closer to me, catching it just before it slips off the table and clatters to the floor.
I press the big red button and the unit beeps loudly.
I cringe while Luc readjusts himself, giving me freedom to move, his snoring momentarily coming to a halt. My arm tingles like static.
The doors on the A/C open and a coolness starts filtering into the air. I turn it down to sixteen degrees so that it’ll make the air cool quicker. As soon as I start to feel the breeze on my legs, I turn it back to nineteen.
I roll over and Luc’s arm snakes under me.
He kisses the back of my neck, the trail of kisses lighting up my entire body.
I roll over, his hips against my bum. He runs his hands over my stomach sleepily, tracing down my thighs, back over my stomach, grazing against the outside lace on my bra.
His index finger finds my nipple and he draws circles until they harden under his touch.
‘Happy birthday,’ I whisper.
He exhales a smile. ‘What’s the plan?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’
More kisses on my neck. My breathing is laboured, and I groan when Luc moves to my other breast.
‘Actually, I would. But it can wait if you have other things in mind.’
His fingers barely touch the lace on my underwear but the heat from his fingers raises the hairs on my arms, a pit of desire opening inside of me. My breath hitches in my throat. I draw faint lines on his free hand with my nail.
I look at the clock on the wall. Already ten o’clock. Shit. Not nearly as early as I previously thought. ‘We’ve got maybe, what, an hour until Kareem picks us up?’ I calculate.
He kisses me in response, telling me we have time for whatever I want to do. He squints when he looks at me, his glasses still on the bedside table. The effort of squinting forces him to close his eyes again and I push myself back, bum grinding against his groin.
‘The teasing is all well and good,’ he grunts, his hands undoing my bra with one click. ‘But we’re on a time crunch here.’
I start to pull down my bottoms and his fingers trace the alphabet on my inner thigh.
‘Good girl.’
I turn to face him, and I accept a kiss from his mouth before he starts making his way down my body, dropping kisses to mark his trail.
I shiver when his teeth graze my nipple.
He hovers over the birthmark on my stomach for a few seconds longer, prolonging the moment.
‘Is this okay?’ he asks, inches from my body.
He drops another kiss on the stretch marks on my thigh.
I nod, my legs spreading automatically to make space for him. ‘Do we have time?’
‘Of course. We always have time for this, Sienna,’ he whispers against me, his hot breath lingering against my skin, heat that shoots up my spine.
Long licks peppered with gentle sucks and my desire unspools in front of me.
I’m losing control. I quiver underneath him, the ache for him growing overwhelming.
He holds my thighs still and savours me, grabbing handfuls of my hip with his other hand.
‘Luc,’ I moan. Seconds left until control escapes me.
I pull him up so that we’re eye level and grab a condom from his washbag on the bedside table.
I climb on top of him, and he slides in easily.
We both groan in unison. I hold my hand over my own mouth to stem my noise.
His hands are all over my body, like he’s trying to find places I’ll never have been touched before.
I grab his wrists in my right hand and hold them against the bed, away from my body. His face lights up and he laughs gently. ‘Didn’t know you had it in you, Sie.’
‘Shut up,’ I grunt but I can’t hide my smile.
He breaks out of my grasp and his hands are back on my body again. And then they’re between my legs, brushing against me in exactly the right place. I stiffen. ‘Don’t move. Give me a minute.’ I take a deep breath. My blood rushes.
‘Are you going to come for me, Sienna Martin?’
I bite down on my lip and nod. I’m trying to stop myself but he’s throbbing inside me. Luc groans, his thumb outlining the warmth between my thighs. I hold my hand over my mouth, body shaking.
‘That’s it.’ He takes my hand away from my mouth. ‘Let me look at you.’
I close my eyes, breathing out a moan, riding a wave of stars.