Epilogue
*two years later*
‘The Encore’ is a musical written by me and my boyfriend Luc Nicholls.
It tells the story of a burnt-out popstar who is tired of everyone asking too much of her.
From another album to fans screaming for her to come back out on stage after the concert has finished and she’s already performed for two hours.
For the press wanting more interviews, more secrets.
Even though she needs them as much as they need her.
My heart pounds against my chest. My mouth dry, but my palms clammy.
I look at Kareem, and once I’m certain he’s not looking, I rub my palms on the seats in the back of his new car.
Dennis catches me and glances at me knowingly in his overhead mirror.
Luc laughs under his breath, reaching out and trying to hold my hand.
‘They’re sweaty,’ I complain.
‘I don’t care.’ He squeezes my hand, a glint in his eyes as we crawl through central London traffic.
My dress is too tight around my stomach – it’s been a while since I had to wear something like this, but the occasion demanded it.
I shift in my seat uncomfortably, the forest green fabric cutting into the skin under my arms and at my hips. I got too used to leggings and jumpers.
Luc and I celebrated our second anniversary by painting my bedroom and redecorating so that his stuff fit into the space as well as mine, and then we ate a takeaway on the floor in the conservatory, paint flecks under our eyes and in our hair.
We watched the foxes at the bottom of the garden near the trees.
It’s crazy to think I looked like that less than twenty-four hours ago and here I am, magic performed by James and Dina to make us both look presentable.
The car stops and Dennis jumps out of the passenger seat.
Luc gets out of the rear passenger door at the same time and follows Dennis around to the other side of the car.
Their new arrangement is for Dennis to stand a bit closer to the bonnet so that Luc is free to open my door and help me out of the car.
The fans immediately start screaming. I haven’t gone very far. I’m still on social media, and I’ve started to share more of my life and projects I’m working on, books I’m reading, now I’m not in the spotlight quite so much.
My songs are still played every day on the radio, and the royalties keep rolling in. So many other projects can have my attention now. And I’ve had time to focus on Luc.
I clutch Luc’s elbow as we walk up the red carpet outside The Savoy Theatre. It’s hard to remember when we first did this kind of walk together all those years ago now. When Luc had never done it before and I accidentally made it sound like it was something I did all the time.
Well, I guess I did do it all the time. Not so much anymore, though.
But we couldn’t turn this one down.
I wave at screaming fans as we walk slowly up the carpet, and I take it all in. All of this. The screaming, the flashing lights, the chilly spring air, when the days are warm, but the nights haven’t quite caught up yet.
When it finally comes to the press area, Luc and I are questioned on our creative process, how we managed to complete this project while I was touring. How we’ve made our relationship work through the chaos.
Our answer: When you want it to work, you’ll do everything you can. Sometimes your everything works, and sometimes it doesn’t. We’re lucky.
When I look up at the theatre, the big banner makes me tear up. The main characters are photographed wrapped up in each other’s arms, but one of them is faded, the saturation turned down.
Luc pulls me in, hugging me tightly, both arms around me.
The Encore.
Described by The Times as ‘a triumph’ and by The Guardian as ‘the best thing you’ll watch this year’.
Our joint ideas. Luc’s story and my songwriting. We’ve done it.
We did it not just because we’re anyone, but because we’re us.