Chapter 9 Elijah
NINE
ELIJAH
As I hunch over the toilet, gagging at the bitter, acidic taste in my mouth, I inhale a sharp breath, blinking my eyes rapidly to get rid of the tears pooling in them.
“What the fuckery is going on here?”
I jolt in surprise and almost smack my head on the toilet seat lid. I find Leonidas gaping at me in the doorway.
“Are you sick?”
Groaning, I balance on one knee and rest my elbow on my other as I hold my forehead. “How did you get in?”
“You gave me a key.” Leonidas moves into my space, and he palms my shoulder and gives it a reassuring rub. “I rang the doorbell probably five times before I barged in here. I thought maybe something had happened to you.”
Rising to my full height, I close the toilet seat before flushing. “No need to worry. I just got super nauseous.”
As I brush my teeth to get rid of the awful taste in my mouth, Leonidas raises a brow. “Are you pregnant?”
Spitting, I try to send him a serious face, but I feel my lips twitch at the side. “I’m actually eight months. My doctor is astonished how I’m not showing at all. Please don’t tell anyone. It’s my secret,” I beg.
He slaps my biceps while rolling his eyes effortlessly. “You’re a fucking idiot.”
“It’s genetic.”
I hit the front panel of his baseball cap; it bounces off the bridge of his nose and covers his beautiful eyes.
Growling, he fixes it and sends me a glare. “Run, bitch.”
Hitting his shoulder on purpose, I walk into my bedroom because I will always be the annoying “little” brother, I call back, “You should look into your anger issues. I hear someone we share blood with has a problem.”
My favorite way to pass time is annoying the shit out of him. Leonidas gets so easily angered that it makes my job easy.
I run down the hallway when I hear his loud footsteps chasing me throughout the house.
Screaming like a little girl, I hear Trinity call up, asking if everything’s okay.
Running down to his girlfriend, I grab her shoulders in both hands and move to stand behind her as Leonidas comes to a halt in front of us.
Huffing, I muse, “I don’t want to play this game anymore. Leave me and my bestie alone.”
I feel Trinity’s laugh against my chest.
“If you don’t get away from my girlfriend, I’ll kick you all the way to the desert.” His chest puffs out, but I know he’s only joking when he winks at Trinity.
“Do it,” I say and pull Trinity to my side. “That means I’ll finally be away from you.”
As I pull her along with me, I find Amelia in my kitchen, munching on a leftover brownie.
“Just letting everyone know I’m going to strangle him. Stop me before I do if you want,” he declares, walking into the room with a glare.
With the island separating us, I stick my tongue out at him and mouth, You little bitch.
“Okay, enough!” Trinity squeals as she jumps in front of Leonidas and holds him back when he tries to round the counter.
Winding an arm around my waist, my sister gives me a side hug. “Leave my baby brother alone.”
When she smacks her lips onto my cheek, I taunt him with a smile.
“Baby!” he fires back at me.
“Says the twenty-four-year-old man,” I hiss, giving him the finger.
“I’m going to bite that off.” He pulls Trinity onto his lap as he sits in one of my stools.
“I’ll sue you.”
Both girls groan, “Enough!”
Just as we all settle down around the island, Leonidas calls out like a little kid, “He was headfirst in his toilet, barfing, when I found him upstairs.”
Ah shit.
He won, and by the look on his face, he knows it.
Sounds of concerned gasps and, “Are you okay?” mixes into the air as everyone’s worried gaze focuses on me.
“Are you not feeling well?” Bringing her hand to my forehead, Amelia tilts her head in confusion. “You don’t feel hot.”
“I just—” I stammer. My mouth opens, but no words come out.
How do I tell them there’s a new weight on my chest that wasn’t there twenty-four hours ago?
That after seeing Lily, loneliness is another layer on my bones.
How I can’t keep anything down because my anxiety level could reach the top of the CN Tower.
Not to mention how I’m throwing up all my anxiety medication and I can only take one a day.
Keeping my eyes down and fidgeting with the sleeve of my hoodie, I sigh. ‘“I saw her.”
I don’t even have to say her name. Amelia’s mouth drops open.
“Saw who?” Trinity glances at each of us, confused.
I swallow tightly. “Lily.”
Her eyes widen in realization.
Everyone knows what she meant to me. She was the center of my universe, and I was just existing around her.
Somehow, she always knew what I was thinking by just the look on my face.
The innocent adoration that I held in my heart for her, growing up, then turned into want and need.
A desire so deep in my bones that it often made my whole body ache.
Drugs wish they could hold as much power as she does.
“When did this happen?” Leonidas sits forward in his seat, giving me his full attention.
“Last night, I saw a car parked in the driveway.” Shaking my head, I curse myself for not thinking before acting. “For some reason, I didn’t anticipate the car belonging to her … but I should have known better. That was her dream car.”
Growing up, I dreamed of owning a McLaren, and she would gush about owning a red Mini Cooper.
Guess both our goals were achieved.
Leonidas breaks the silence after a few minutes. “So, what? You just went and knocked on the door?”
Smooshing my lips together, I wince. “Yeah, basically.”
Sounds pretty bad when he puts it like that …
He throws his head back and groans, “Dude, you have no game.”
My spine straightens. “I was only trying to see if she still lived there.”
“Hey, it’s fine.” Amelia grabs and squeezes my hand. “She was a big part of your past; it’s only normal to be curious.”
Our conversation yesterday did kill me, yet I would be lying if I said I would have acted differently if our positions had been swapped.
I wouldn’t want to look or talk to me either.
The moment our car had driven away that day, I had known I would break her heart.
That all the trust she had in me would disappear.
“How did it go? Did she hear you out?” I can see the worry in Trinity’s eyes.
“Nope,” I say, popping the P. I tap my knuckles on the counter as a cruel laugh releases out of me. “She wanted nothing to do with me, and I don’t blame her.”
Leonidas tsks. “She’ll hear you out.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I told her when she’s ready to talk, I’m here. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself,” I say in a hoarse whisper.