Chapter 25
CHAPTER 25
NOELLE: THEN
B y the look on his face, whatever he was going to say to me would hurt.
“You’re scaring me,” I voiced, my tone feeling scared. “What’s going on?”
We were sitting in my living room a few weeks after graduation.
“Are you okay?”
“I will be.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m finally doing it.”
“Doing what?”
“Opening my own business.”
I lit up, standing. “That’s great! Your father agreed to?—”
“I’m leaving town, Elle.”
I jerked back. “What do you mean?”
He stood, pulling me into a tight hug as he held me so close to his chest that I could feel his rapidly beating heart hammering against mine.
“I want you to go with me.”
“Go with you where?”
He looked deep into my eyes. “To start a new life.”
The certainty in his tone broke my heart like he’d already made his decision.
I knew this wouldn’t be easy, saying goodbye never was, but we’d make it through this.
We were best friends.
“Elle.” He pressed his lips against mine, rubbing them back and forth along my soft mouth.
I thought I was going to die.
I felt like I was dying.
He repeated for what felt like the millionth time, “You know I can’t stay here.”
“Why not?”
“I need to do this for me.”
I winced for a second before responding, “That’s not fair.”
“None of this is fair.”
This wasn’t supposed to be this hard. This was on constant repeat in my head for the past few weeks. He’d been different, and he wouldn’t tell me why.
Now I knew…
He was planning on leaving and trying to figure out how to tell me.
Or worse, how do get me to leave with him, which he knew I wouldn’t.
Why is he doing this to me?
Inhaling a quick breath, he lifted his hand to the side of my face like he was trying to memorize it. His green eyes locked with mine, and it was the first time I realized how white they’d get when he was upset.
“Don’t cry, Elle.”
It was only then I realized I was crying .
We were only eighteen years old and had our whole lives ahead of us.
He kissed my lips, desperately hanging on by a very thin thread. “Please, come with me.”
I didn’t know what to expect from this goodbye, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. It was by far the most devastating moment for me out of all this. I was being pulled in two different directions, and for the life of me, I stood there silently praying I was making the right one.
“What if I ask you not to go?”
His eyes widened, waiting for I don’t know what.
For the first time, my heart wanted one thing, and my mind wanted the other.
I battled a war of what felt right but could also be wrong.
My mind spun on an endless loop of what was I doing…
He must have sensed my hesitation, and I laid my hand over his heart. “What if we started our lives now? Here? Together?”
“Noelle…”
Life was full of choices, and all it took was one decision to change the path of our lives.
“Who’s my girl?” He kissed her again, harder that time. “You’re my good girl. Come with me.”
The truth was, I was ready to throw it all away…
For him.
The immediate relief I felt when he kissed me with such passion and devotion was like nothing I could begin to describe. It was as if my world was back in place, and everything was as it should be.
I lost myself in that kiss.
There.
With him.
In his arms.
With this body pressed against mine.
Our hearts against one another .
Nicholas’s pride was his biggest strength and his greatest weakness. His determination would get him far, that much I was positive of. I knew he’d made all his dreams come true. It was how he was made. When he set his mind to something, there was no telling him no. He’d make it happen, no matter what or who tried to block him.
A huge part of me wanted to move with him, but I had my own dreams too. I wanted to accomplish so much; I just never imagined it would be without him.
Not in this town.
The one I loved so much.
The one I wanted a future in.
Raise a family in.
The one I finally had a life in.
For a few seconds, I sincerely thought that maybe I was getting through to him. That he was going to choose me in the end, us, and this would be the beginning of our fairy tale.
Until he expressed, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
I lost.
Maybe in another life, we could have been together.
Maybe it just wasn’t the right time for us.
Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.
Maybe…
Maybe…
Maybe…
I repeated his same words, “I’m sorry, I can’t.” In reference to leaving with him.
“Why?” he instantly argued.
I could see his anger fueling.
“How can you ask me to leave? You know how much this place means to me. Your whole family is here. Why would you want to leave?”
“You know why. ”
“Ugh! You can’t just ask me to leave with you and expect me to say yes. That’s not fair.”
Neither one of us said anything for I don’t know how long. Both of us were lost in our own thoughts. The future played out in front of me, almost like a crystal ball.
I didn’t like what I saw.
What I felt.
It was awful.
I didn’t have my best friend.
“Please don’t go,” I begged, needing to get through to him.
“Please come with me,” he pleaded, wanting to get through to me too.
Again, silence.
It was truly deafening and loud at the same time.
He kissed me.
Softly.
Affectionately.
It was a goodbye kiss.
The one you see in movies.
Read about in books.
I wanted to understand him, but I couldn’t, and I hated him for that. The emotions were conflicting, each and everyone.
“Please don’t do this…” I proceeded, my will to not leave with him dwindling.
I didn’t think it was over.
Even after he left.
Even after I realized much later that this would be the last time we’d see each other for the next thirteen years, yet he still didn’t say…
“I love you.”