Chapter 36 Vanna
THIRTY-SIX
VANNA
The week drags by like two cinderblocks chained to my ankles while running uphill.
Ever since Stone proposed to me, I’ve been wearing his ring on my left hand and Tony can’t seem to keep his eyes off of it. I can see the question lingering behind every look he gives me, probably wondering if I’ll invite him to the wedding.
Wedding.
A part of me didn’t have much hope that I'd make it this long in life and now here I am, engaged, wondering if I should invite the father I never knew I had.
After the third time Tony asks if I’d like dinner with him, I finally relent. Despite it being the beginning of my shift, he sits me down and has Lacey take our order.
“You do know this is considered fraternization, right?”
“Eh, they don’t even know that you’re my daughter.”
The term causes me to wince.
“Great, so now they think I’m sleeping with the boss.” I mutter.
His face flushes pink as he realizes exactly how it looks now. Regardless, he shrugs it off.
“Fuck ‘em. If they don’t like it, they can get off my payroll.” He scoffs, bringing a napkin to his lap. “Anyways, what’s this I hear about you being engaged.”
My head rears back involuntarily. “How did you hear that I was engaged?”
“Your fiancé.” He reminds me.
“Right. Yeah, I forget you two know each other.”
“He’s a good kid, you know. He cares a lot about you.”
Lacey approaches with two dishes and sets them down in front of us, offering me a mocking smile before leaving once more. Tony digs into his meal as I push the food on my plate in circles with my fork.
“Did he invite you?” I finally bring myself to ask.
He swallows the food in his mouth, then washes it down with a sip of wine.
“He’s leaving that up to you. I respect that about him. I know we don’t know each other that well, but no daughter of mine will be treated like shit. If he does, you let me know. I’ve known that man longer, but I’ll fuckin’ kill him if you ask me to.”
I scoff a bitter laugh, avoiding his stare.
“I’ve been treated like shit my whole life. I’ll be fine. Besides, he’s probably the only one in my life that isn’t rotten.”
He lifts his fork and points it at me, smiling. “Probably why you’re marrying him, huh?”
I nod, finally taking that first bite. As we eat, I study him carefully.
He’s not much older than my mother but looks a lot younger.
His grays are just starting to streak the sides of his hair and one or two wrinkles crease in the corner of his eyes when he smiles.
His skin is tan like mine, a rich olive tone that brings out the green in our irises.
He’s handsome and I wonder if my mother was just as good looking before all the drugs.
“What was my mother like? When you met her.”
There’s a flash of rage that passes over his features before he brings his gaze to mine, then he softens as he realizes that I’ve had it far worse than he has when it comes to her.
“She was... charming, sweet, sensual. The pretty, little thing knew how to sing too.
Met her in a bar one night, downtown Chicago.
She stood up on stage in a flashy dress, wooing every single man there and I fucking fell for it.
Just head over heels. I bought her a drink that night and every night after for a few months.
Until she stopped showing up all together.
“Next thing I know, my credit cards are stolen, and she’s drained me of every penny. At least in that account. Cost me my pizza business. Closed me down a year later. I needed a fresh start from there and decided New York wouldn’t be half bad. Turns out, it was the best decision I’ve made.”
“I’m assuming that’s the nice version of that story?” I snort, drawing lines in the condensation on my water glass.
“Yeah, kid. That’s the nice version.”
“She doesn’t deserve nice.”
“No, she doesn’t. I don’t know what your life was like, but I can tell it wasn’t easy.”
The corner of my mouth twitches. “No. It wasn’t.”
“Well, if there’s anything you need from me, Vanna, you let me know. I mean it. I’m willing to make up for all the years she failed you.” He heaves a sigh. “Fuck. I just wish I had known. I would’a come for you.”
“Don’t. Please?” I beg, not at all ready to drown in the tidal wave of his guilt.
He pinches his lips and nods, granting me that relief.
“But I’m serious. Anything you need. Fuck it, I’ll pay for the damn wedding. You don’t even have to invite me.”
“Tony!” I snap. “Seriously. I don’t need anything from you. I’m an adult now and I can handle things on my own. You can come to the wedding, but I don’t want your money.”
A small, grateful smile graces his face, and it almost makes me return one of my own... almost.
By the end of my shift, I’m relieved to go home. That is until I find Hunter sitting against my apartment door waiting.
His eyes light up at the sight of me approaching as mine narrow.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
He pushes himself to his feet and runs a hand through his hair.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know, Vanna. Maybe how you told me you’d give me a chance to show you I’ve changed and then ghosted me?”
I shoulder past him to unlock my door. He follows me through and into the kitchen after I drop my purse onto the credenza against the wall.
A part of me expects Stone to come storming out of his room to toss Hunter out, but there’s no sign of him.
Pulling my phone out, I shoot him a text. He must still be tied up with an appointment.
“I don’t owe you shit.”
He steps forward closing some of the distance between us.
“No, you don’t, but what did I do to deserve unanswered texts and calls?”
My brows dip in confusion.
“You haven’t messaged me.”
Another step closer.
“I have and if I’m being honest, I’ve texted you an embarrassing number of times.”
Frowning, I look through my phone to pull up our last conversation. Only, I don’t find anything.
That’s odd.
I don’t even find his name under my contacts.
“Something must be wrong with my phone.”
Hunter smirks, almost knowingly, then holds his palm out for me to give it to him. I hand it over. After several seconds of him fiddling, he finishes.
“Hmm. Turns out I’ve been blocked, but I fixed that for you.”
My jaw falls, befuddled. I realize Stone had taken it upon himself to block my ex. A low simmering rage begins to bubble.
I mutter a thanks, then go to the cabinet to pull down a wine glass to fix this Friday night. As I’m pouring, I hear a muffled argument just outside my door.
Hunter decides to plop himself down in the stool at my island while I throw it open to find Daphne and Stone bickering in hushed tones.
“Hello?” I glare between them.
Daphne’s breathing is escalated, and her eyes are red, telling me she’s been crying. Stone is as cool as ever in his torn-up T-Shirt and black skinny jeans. He winks at me, and I raise my brows questioningly.
“Van, I’m so sorry.”
Daphne lunges for me, wrapping her arms around my neck and fighting the urge to sob into my shoulder. That’s when Stone’s face falls, his features twisting in defeat.
“What’s going on?”
They both push into the apartment, neither one missing my ex sitting in my kitchen.
“Um, maybe we should wait until your company leaves.” Daph suggests.
“He’s leaving now.” Stone wraps his fist in the collar of Hunter’s button up.
“The fuck?!” Hunter growls as he’s dragged from the stool to the apartment complex hallway. The door slams shut with him on the other side.
Too confused, I don’t bother objecting or even explaining myself. “Someone speak.”
Daphne looks up at Stone, but his eyes are glued to mine.
“That body they hauled away a few weeks ago… they’ve identified as Clarice Taylor.” He explains.
Daphne’s already a weeping mess again, throwing herself all over me. “They called me because they couldn’t get in touch with you and I’m your emergency contact, they must have thought we still lived together. I came over to tell you.”
“What were you guys arguing about out there?”
“Nothing.” Stone grumbles.
Her eyes form daggers ready to tear him to pieces.
“He didn’t want to tell you.”
Stone shrugs. “Look, it’s not that I didn’t think you should know, but what good does that info do for you? She was a horrible person who deserved nothing less. Whether she’s dead or back in Chicago high as fuck, what difference does it make?”
Carefully, I untangle myself from Daphne and take very deep breaths. My heart rate has blown to the point of explosion, and I’ll either kill Stone or myself in its destruction.
“Are you fucking kidding me? What in your right mind gave you the impression you could withhold information from me like that? That’s my mother, Stone. Whether she’s a piece of shit or not! That’s MY mother!”
He steps into me, invading my space and cradling my head in his hands. With an enraged grip, I tear his hold off.
“No! Fuck you!”
“Van, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean- I shouldn’t have thought to withhold it from you. You were just so upset the last time you saw her. I just couldn’t imagine what this information could do to you.”
I’m a tsunami of emotions in this moment, crashing and destructive.
This storm hasn’t quelled since I found out my privacy was invaded, and this revelation has only made is worse.
Now I don’t know whether to hate Stone, mourn my mother, or be relieved.
Everything is just hitting me at once and it’s suffocating.
“Vanna, he did tell you, though.” Daphne chimes in softly.
“Because of you.” I remind her.
She nods, “Yes, but he was worried.”
“That’s not his place to be worried!”
“Really? It’s not my place to be worried about my fiancé?”
“NO!” The word barrels out from deep within my gut.
I know why I’m angry, but I don’t understand the severity of it.
How its suffocating and consuming. I don’t know why my brain is telling me to hate this man.
To push everyone away. Perhaps it’s because I can see the pit opening up beneath me.
The inevitable downward spiral. The yawning mouth growing wider, preparing to swallow me whole.
But fuck it. I might as well jump right in. Save the darkness the trouble.
Slipping the ring off my finger, I whip it at his chest and his eyes flare in surprise. His hand snaps out to grip my wrist, and he yanks me to him.
I shove at him, fighting to get away, but he’s holding me like I’m about to fall past the edge and never come back.
“Vanna!” Daphne’s panicked voice cuts through my struggle.
“Go away! Both of you! Get the fuck out of my apartment!”
The need to be alone overwhelms me.
“I’m not going to do that, Darkness.” Stone growls in my ear.
So, I do the only thing I can think of.
“CATALYST.”
His arms loosen for a second, but only a second.
“Excuse me?”
“CATALYST!” I scream again, ignoring Daphnes wide, horrified eyes. “Catalyst, catalyst, catalyst!”
I repeat myself until my voice is hoarse and his arms completely drop. He takes a step backward, his face a blank slate.
Without another word, he grabs my best friend's hand and pulls her with him out the door.
The slam of it closing rings around my empty apartment, reminding me that my demons are all that’s left and it’s about to be a fucking party.
Eyeing the bottle of wine on the counter, I snag it and drop to the ground with my back against the side of the island. The emptiness around me soothes the rapid pace of my heart and I bring the bottle to my lips.
My front door creaks open demanding my attention. I sit there, face drenched and a mouthful of wine, waiting to see who’s dumb enough to come back.
Hunter’s head peeks through the crack before slipping through and joining me on the floor.
“Hey, Van.”
“I’m not sure if you heard, but I would really like to be alone.”
“Yeah, I heard, but I also know you and just because you want to be alone at a time like this doesn’t mean you should be.”
“Oh, fuck off. You sound like Stone. I’m not some reckless child.”
He steals the bottle from my grasp and takes a swig, flinching as the wine coats his throat.
“I know that, but it seems your fiancé doesn’t.”
My eyes roll at the term.
“Fiancé.” I scoff.
Hunter’s brow quirks, “I knew it.”
As he shakes his head, the dark strands of his bangs brush along his forehead. Something I grew so used to watching years ago. Something familiar right now.
“Knew what?”
“When he asked me to check on you, he called you his fiancé.”
My head falls back, knocking against the wood behind me. I whipped my ring at him and begged him to get the fuck out of my face. Yet, he’s still out there calling me his fiancé. Not to mention, sending Hunter after me.
“Of course he did.”
“So… you two aren’t? Engaged.”
“I don’t fucking know. Why don’t you go find him and let him know I’m alive.”
“I’m good. I think I’d rather hang out here to be honest.”
An exasperated sigh escapes and my head lolls to the side to face him.
“Do whatever you want. I’m going to bed.”
As I push myself to stand, Hunter grabs my hand.
“Wait.” He follows, leveling himself on his feet. “Let’s watch a movie. Maybe it will help take your mind off things.”
“Right, a movie is going to make me forget my mother’s dead and I kicked my best friend and fiancé out of my apartment while losing my fucking mind.” I snort.
He shrugs, “It won’t, but it’s something.”
“Whatever.”
I allow him to drag me to the couch and replace the bottle of wine with a glass instead. He plops down beside me, a little too close for comfort, but just tosses a throw blanket around my lap before flicking through movies on Netflix.
He settles on some early 2000’s romcom, watching while simultaneously keeping an eye on me.
Though, the alcohol and endless stream of tears start to take their toll. The emotional rollercoaster I’ve been stuck on my whole life has drained me of everything and sleep takes me with exceptional ease.
It isn’t until I’m being hauled up into a pair of arms, do my eyes flutter open for the briefest moment. Just long enough for a blond haired-blue eyed monster with a savior complex to stain my vision and blur my dreams.