Chapter 19
nineteen
. . .
Ceci
I get a few texts from Wish through our shared game server, but the first time we’re able to meet up for a gaming session is three nights later, when the team is in Buffalo for a quick home-and-away series.
Now that I look back, I can see how his “work trips” coincided with the Grizzlies’ away games. I can’t believe I didn’t put it together. I go to enough games, and watch the rest at home, that I should have connected the dots.
He’s already in the waiting room when I log on, and his call rings through within seconds.
“Hey, you.” I’m proud when my voice comes out mostly even.
“Ceci.” A thrill runs through me at the sound of my name. He even pronounces it correctly. It’s not the first time he’s called me by my real name, but I’m still amazed he took the time to say it right. Not many people do. “Are you ready for this?”
Exhaling slowly, I shake out my shoulders and try to recalibrate. “I am if you are.”
He makes a noise deep in the back of his throat. “I’m turning on my camera. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
We’ve never played with video on. It’s always been strictly audio. It was safer that way.
I guess now we don’t have as much to risk. We’ve already met.
I click the button to turn my camera on, and the screen flickers to life.
His picture appears first: Aidan MacGregor, the same man I met a few mornings ago. It’s almost a relief to see it with my own eyes, that he’s the same.
He’s slumped on a bed with a generic hotel room headboard. The idea of him being in bed makes my stomach swirl.
“There you are.” His voice is warm and rich, and the faint note of approval does funny things to my heart rate. His smile splits his face. “I like this.”
Whereas I was all done up for work when we met a few days ago, now I changed my outside clothes for comfy sweats and a camisole, my hair is tied up in a sloppy bun, I wiped off all my makeup, and I traded my contacts for glasses.
“So this is you in your natural environment,” he continues, his eyes roving over my face through the screen. “I like this, too.”
“Me too,” I admit.
“I wish I was back in Boston. We could do this in person.”
My breath catches. “You’d want to?”
“Fuck, I want to do everything with you.” His voice is a rasp, and I have to wonder just what does everything entail?
Dirty, dirty thoughts run through my mind. He’s younger than me, and he’s an athlete; he probably has the stamina to keep me on my toes.
“Well, let’s start small,” I suggest. “Maybe when you get back, we can do dinner this time.”
“Yeah?” His shy smile makes my heart flutter.
Damn, he’s precious. What I’d give to corrupt him… I bite my lip, tamping down my baser urges. This is not the time or the place.
“Yeah. I’d like that,” I reply.
“Cool.” Red spots bloom on his cheeks, and his eyes squint with happiness. “Shall we get started?”
When I nod, he starts the game. It’s a baseball simulation, and we’re on opposing teams. We navigate through the innings, alternating who’s up to bat and who’s pitching and fielding.
It’s relaxing mentally, even when I have to jam the buttons with my fingers to catch a fly ball or make my player run across the field.
I mutter under my breath, and he curses as I catch him out.
“You know,” he says, “only four more weeks until pitchers and catchers report.”
I cackle. “I’ve already got tickets to most of the spring training games.”
The Bulldogs have their preseason training in Florida, and I usually rent an apartment for a few weeks and catch as many games as I can.
It helps that I can create my own schedule.
As long as my work gets done, Bex doesn’t care if I’m in the office with her and the intern.
Hell, sometimes I think she prefers if I stay away. We get more done that way.
“I’m so jealous. If I could get away from the team, I would be down there.” Aidan swallows, and I catch myself watching the bob of his Adam’s apple, the way he bites his cheek. “Do you…”
He stops, and I lean forward, eager to hear more.
“Hmm?”
“Maybe we could go to a baseball game together?” He gulps again. “Our physical therapist, her brother-in-law is Brandon Walker, so sometimes a few guys will get together to go to a game and support him. He’s always at our games in his offseason.”
My jaw drops. “The Brandon Walker? Star pitcher, winner of two league MVPs and four fucking Golden Glove awards?”
I don’t get starstruck very often, but there’s a reason he’s won so many awards.
He nods. “His husband does my meal prep, and for most of the team. Sometimes we get coffee. They’re pretty chill.”
“Holy fuck, I hate you.” The words fall from my lips without thought. I don’t actually hate him. I’m jealous as fuck.
But Aidan snaps his mouth shut. “Oh. Okay.”
Whereas before he might joke and tease me back, this time he thinks I mean it literally. Crap, crap, crap.
“Shut up. Brandon Walker?”
Again, he nods, this time more cautiously.
“Okay, here’s the deal. You don’t get to rub Brandon Walker in my face, and I won’t taunt you about spring training. We can just be quietly jealous of each other.” I make sure he can see my grin since we’re face-to-face.
“I accept your terms,” he says.
“Is it weird? Being a baseball fan when you’re a hockey player?”
He chuckles. “It’s the backstory behind my screen name. WishIWas—I wish I was a baseball player.”
“Enough to give up hockey?”
“Not a chance. I love hockey. It’s my everything. But I’m allowed to have more than one great love in my life, and baseball is my dirty mistress.” He winks. “I’ve been known to take in a basketball game with the guys, but it’s not my favorite. Hockey is and always has been my number one.”
“I’m an equal-opportunity sports nut. Except NASCAR. That’s just loud noises for no good reason.”
Aidan grins. “Do you like rugby?”
“I stopped watching when Viv retired. Before, I used to go to her games.”
Viv Gallagher is his teammate Gonzo’s sister-in-law, and she was a member of our book club before she moved to Colorado so her fiancé could go to veterinary school.
“We go to support Cari. It’s a fun time. Maybe, uh, maybe you could come with us?”
Cari Gonzales is Gonzo’s little sister and a member of the Boston Revolution. She’s friendly with Hailey, and I’ve met her at a few of the hockey games or after a rugby game, but we aren’t close.
“Who exactly is us?”
“Me, Hailey, and Ryan.” His face flames red again. “I get it if you don’t want my sister knowing about this, though.”
Fuck. His sister is my colleague at the foundation. The same woman who’s been none too subtle about trying to set us up.
Is Aidan hot? Yes. But Wish doesn’t do flings, and I don’t do relationships.
As lonely as I am, I can’t give up that much of myself again.
Not without risking everything I am and everything I want.
I can’t imagine a world in which I could conceivably sleep with Aidan without him wanting more—not when I’m unable to give him what he undoubtedly wants.
Men like him want marriage and babies. They want skinny, perfect blond waifs with zero personality, whose lives all revolve around their star athlete hubbies.
Although… my friends are proof that not all hockey players are like that. Audrey, Rachel, and Bex are all plus-size, and only Hailey and Vanessa are blond, the color natural for both. Riley has as vivacious a personality as all the rest.
Maybe my assumptions are a stretch. I still can’t believe someone like him would want someone like me. There’s no way it would ever work.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally say.
“Cool.” Our game has lapsed, and he tilts to one side as his batter swings, then lets out a soft grunt when I toss the pitch and the bat connects.
We play in mostly silence for a bit, interspersed with our usual teasing banter. But there’s a heaviness in his words, a tension between us.
Can we combine our online friendship with an in-person one? Can I spend time with him in person without his sister or teammates finding out? And fuck, what will the foundation say if we’re spotted together?
He yawns, and with a jolt, I realize exactly how late it is.
“You need to go to bed. You have a game tomorrow night.” Well, tonight, now. It’s already three o’clock in the morning.
“I’m not tired,” he says.
“You’re a dirty, rotten liar. Go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Yeah, we will.” Aidan gives me a tired smile. “Have a good night, Ceci. Sweet dreams.”
My mouth dries out. “You too.”
We log off, and I close up my house, making sure the door is locked and turning off all the lights. His flowers sit on my kitchen counter, and the sight of the fragrant blooms makes me smile.
Upstairs, I run through my nightly routine and crawl into bed.
But before I fall asleep, I pull up the Grizzlies’ game schedule and let out a sigh of relief when there’s no game on March 26th.
Crossing my fingers, I hope the boys are home that week as I send an email to my Bulldogs season-ticket-holder rep, reserving a box for opening day.
I don’t care if we pack it full of our friends or if it’s only the two of us. Come hell or high water, I’m going to be there. And I want him there by my side.