Chapter 22
twenty-two
“Are you sure it isn’t a little soon for this?” I ask once again as we walk through the hospital halls.
“Nope. They assured me that you were far enough along for this class,” Brett tells me, his hand squeezing mine.
As he walks me into the room, I realize there are other women with partners.
It makes me feel a little bit better to know this isn’t a one-on-one thing, but I’m still nervous.
I have done minimal research on this pregnancy.
Instead, I have been relying on Brett because he seems to be a wealth of knowledge on the subject.
After a few minutes, a woman in scrubs comes in.
“All right, everyone, take a seat. This is a basic class that will go over some pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting topics. We will tour the hospital once it’s over as well.
Some of this you will be doing again when you take your childbirth class in your third trimester.
Let’s get started with an icebreaker. Let’s go around the room and say our names, how far along you are, and your weirdest craving so far.
I’ll start. I’m Vanessa. I am zero weeks along, but I have three children.
My weirdest craving was curry. I had only ever had it once before, but my body decided I wanted it. Next.”
As everyone goes around the room saying their weird cravings, I start to panic. I don’t have a weird craving, really. All I have wanted is ice cream and sometimes a chili cheese dog. Compared to some of these other women, that seems so normal. When it finally gets to us, I’m nervous.
“Hi. I’m Emery, and this is Brett. I’m twenty-five weeks pregnant. My weirdest craving is…” I trail off, not really sure what to say.
Brett speaks up. “She has been eating ice cream and chili cheese dogs like crazy.”
He says it so dramatically that everyone laughs. I’m grateful for it, reaching over to squeeze his hand.
“Great. All of those are your body’s way of telling you that you need something. Margaret, you said that you crave cornstarch. That is a sign of pica. Have you mentioned it to your doctor?”
“Yes. They said I am iron-deficient and gave me some vitamins. I haven’t had the craving since,” the older woman says.
“Great. Remember, ladies…and gentlemen. If the craving seems off the wall, mention it to your doctor. They can’t help you if they don’t know the issue.”
“Thank God for our little acorn,” he whispers in my ear, referencing the acorn squash our baby is now the size of.
I laugh, turning my attention back to the teacher.
She goes over some more pregnancy stuff before she moves into the next section.
Most of the stuff she goes over, I’m surprised to find that I know thanks to Brett being prepared.
He talks to me all the time about pregnancy things, but I didn’t catch on that my brain had been soaking it in.
It helped ease my fears about everything.
Maybe I will be prepared for this.
Then Vanessa brought out the dilation model.
“Does anyone know how big a baby’s head can be?”
Brett raises his hand. “The cervix will stretch to about ten centimeters to allow for the baby to pass through.”
“Very good. Ten doesn’t seem like a lot, does it, ladies?”
We all shake our heads no.
“I’m going to hand out these balloons and ping-pong balls. As I do, what I want you to do is put the ping-pong ball into the balloon opening carefully.”
Brett takes the balloon as she hands it to us, while I take the ping-pong ball. I watch as he carefully stretches the opening before taking the ball from me.
“Once your ball is in, blow the balloon up and let the ball sit at the opening.”
She walks around, monitoring us as we do as she asks. She smiles when she sees our balloon, making me proud to be with Brett. He is so good at this stuff.
“Great, now gently squeeze the top of the balloon. What you want to see is the ping-pong ball going through the small opening. Yes, like that. Great job. See how the balloon stretches to accommodate the ball? This is like your cervix. See how the ball moves forward and then back a little. It’s like two steps forward, one back?
It’s stretching, then allowing it to adjust. Over and over again so that the ball can move through freely. ”
Our ball pops out, making Brett laugh. All I can do is stare at it as the reality hits me.
I will be pushing a baby out of my vagina. It is going to stretch the hell out of me.
Brett looks at me, all laughter fading away as the woman keeps talking. “What’s wrong?” he whispers to me.
I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do this.”
He kisses my cheek. “Of course you can. You are the strongest woman I know. I’ll be right by your side the whole time. You can hurt me as much as it hurts you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I whisper-yell back to him.
He smiles, cupping my cheek. “We are going to get through this together. Don’t be afraid. Not with me at your side.”
I swallow hard. “What if I’m not strong enough?”
“Then I will be strong enough for the both of us, and before you ask your next ‘what if,’ it doesn’t matter if you push this baby out of your vagina or the doctor has to surgically remove him or her. You will still have given birth to our little miracle.”
With a few simple words, Brett calms me, making me feel like everything will be okay.
“Okay.”
He leans forward, kissing me lightly before turning back to the teacher.
“Let’s talk about hormones, sex, and the natural way to induce labor.”
My eyes widen.
This class might kill me.
I am really glad I brought Emery to the class tonight. This was an intro class, and it went over a basic overview of a lot of things. Then we got to see the labor and delivery ward along with the nursery.
We haven’t discussed birth plans yet, but I really don’t want our kid going to the nursery. I want to keep them in the room with us.
I don’t broach the subject, though. Not seeing how freaked out Emery was the whole class. As I drive us home, I keep peeking over at her. She looks like a nervous wreck.
“Em, baby. What’s going on in that head of yours?” I ask, turning onto our street.
“It’s a lot. I don’t feel like I’ve learned enough. What if I am damaging our baby because I have been going with the flow instead of educating myself?”
“You are not hurting our baby. You follow your body’s needs and do everything you can to protect our child. I see the way you cradle your belly when you move. You can’t tell me that you truly think you would hurt your child,” I tell her as we pull into the drive.
“No. Not intentionally, but I had no idea about some of that stuff. I don’t want to be a bad mom.”
“You won’t be. Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all, buttercup.
It’s a lot of trial and error and seeing what will or won’t work for our child.
They give you the foundation to start raising your child, but it is up to us to decide what our child needs.
Not every person is the same, and the same can be said for children.
Our firstborn might need to hear things to learn them, while our secondborn might need visual aids. Everyone is different and that’s okay.”
“Second born? You think I’m going to go through this again someday?” she asks.
“We talked about this the other night on our date. If you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but I thought we might have at least two, if not three, kids,” I admit.
I hate the thought of having an only child, but I can get over it if I have to. Besides, it’s not like our friends won’t start popping out kids in the next few years. Hell, Beckett and Peyton are already married, who knows what they have planned?
She starts breathing heavier. “We did. We totally did, but that sounds like way too far in the future. What if…”
“No what-ifs. Em, you are freaking out. Let’s go inside and figure it out together.”
She looks over at me then nods. “Okay.”
I exit my side of the vehicle going to open her door. Then I escort her inside the hockey house.
“Hey, guys. We are going up to my room,” I call out to Wyatt and Kellan, who are playing video games.
They aren’t even paying attention as they mumble their response. I don’t linger, though. My girl is struggling, and I need to help her.
Once we are in my room, I lead her to the bed and have her sit down on the edge. Then I kneel beside her.
“Buttercup, what do you need from me? Do you want to talk about it? I can run you a room-temperature bath to relax in. We can cuddle. You can scream at me. What do you need?” I ask her.
She looks up at me, fear clear in her eyes.
“You are going to be a great dad. You already have so many skills down. You were the only dad in that room who could put the diaper on without issues. You swaddled that baby doll like a damn pro. I’m scared that I’m not on the same level as you. That I will fail you and this child,” she admits.
I lean forward, cupping her cheeks as I look up at her.
“You are going to be an amazing mom. None of this shit matters. Do you know what matters most to a child? Love. I had nannies and butlers and you name it taking care of all these needs for me, but none of that mattered. It helped me survive, but it didn’t help me thrive.
I didn’t have the love I needed. That’s all our child needs from you. ”
She sucks in a breath. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s making me hormonal.”
I can see the tears glistening in her eyes.
“No sad hormones. How about some sex hormones? I hear those are good.” I wiggle my eyebrows, making her laugh.
“You’re ridiculous.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m crazy for you. I think you need an oxytocin release. What do you think?”
I slide my hands up her thighs under her dress, making her breath catch.
“Oxytocin is good,” she mumbles, spreading her legs for me.
“Good girl. Lie back and enjoy the ride,” I tell her, kissing a path up to between her legs.
She does as I ask, making me smile. I love when Emery fights me, but I love even more when she gives in to her desires.
Pulling her underwear down her legs, I toss them before I move back to her center, licking her from her entrance up to the top of her pussy. She wiggles underneath me, but I hum against her.
“Patience.”
She lets out a little moan but relaxes her body. I take that as the cue to start my ministrations. I start off slow, savoring her taste on my tongue. As if it’s the beginning of something special, and I don’t want to rush it.
As her body responds to me, I ramp up the pace, licking and sucking until she is on the edge.
That’s when I go for the kill shot. I slide three fingers up inside of her and thrust hard as I curl them.
At the same time, I use my tongue to press down on her clit until her legs are shaking as they clamp around my head.
Her pussy clenches, and she screams out my name.
I smile against her, knowing my friends likely heard, but not giving an actual fuck.
When I climb up from between her legs, dropping a kiss on her lips, she smiles at me.
“Better?” I ask.
She nods, her face blissed out. Then she pushes back on my chest. I get up and help her stand, figuring she needs to clean up or something, but she shocks me when she pushes me back onto the bed.
“Baby, this wasn’t about me,” I tell her as she undoes my pants and pulls them and my boxers down.
She smirks at me. “Oh no. This has nothing to do with you. You’re my plaything now.”
Then she attempts to climb up on the bed to straddle me. I grab her before she can fall, helping her settle over me as she looks slightly embarrassed.
“The bump has my balance off,” she offers.
“As it should. Come on now. I thought I was your boy toy. Use me.”
The confidence she lost comes back within seconds as she rises above me, positioning my already hard cock at her entrance. When she slides down on me, she moans out.
“It feels so good. So full,” she mumbles as her hands meet my chest.
I don’t say a word, scared to take her out of whatever fantasy she is playing in her head. When her eyes open and meet mine, I can see the lust there.
Slowly, she begins to grind down onto me.
At first, I can tell she is in control, but as she begins to chase her pleasure, her movements become more erratic.
I grip her hips to steady her as I start to thrust up inside of her.
She lets me take control as I fuck up into her, loving the way her bare pussy feels against my dick.
When she finally comes, she takes me over the edge with her, filling her full of my cum. She doesn’t bother to get off of me. She collapses to the side, my cock still inside of her as she falls asleep.
I know I’m going to be sore later, but I don’t dare move. I stay inside of her as I hold her for as long as she wants.
I’ll always give her what she needs.