Chapter 23
twenty-three
Sitting in the stands, I stare down at the ice.
Brett and his teammates move around, doing drills that I don’t know.
It’s kind of crazy how much I don’t know about hockey despite spending thousands of hours at rinks.
Then again, with the way I obsessed over figure skating, it’s not surprising that I blocked everything else out.
I can’t help but laugh when one of the guys sprays ice all over the coach.
God, I miss skating. It won’t be soon enough before I can get back out there.
I could always see if Brett would skate with me again…
I look down at my growing stomach and push the thought away. While I’m not huge, I am bigger than I used to be. It’s not worth the risk.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. When I pull it out of my bag, I smile when I see Kaitlyn’s name.
“Kaitlyn McCoy, figure skater extraordinaire. Are you really gracing me with your attention?” I tease when I answer.
She laughs. “You do wonders for my ego.”
“I try, girl, I try. How are you?”
“I’m good. Training, you know how it is.”
I hum in agreement.
Kaitlyn and I used to train together before we took off for college. She’s one of the only girls that I ever got close to. Despite the fact that we were each other’s biggest competitors on the ice, we never took it out on one another when we were off the ice.
“So how’s school?”
“Good. Busy as hell in all honesty.”
She scoffs. “Tell me about it. These people know we are Olympic-bound. Do they really need to keep pushing us so hard? It’s really unfair. We’re going to represent our country for Christ’s sake, I don’t think it matters if we pass social economics.”
Shaking my head, I laugh. If there’s one thing I know about Kaitlyn, it’s that she loves school. The girl loves to learn.
“So I heard a rumor the other day…” She trails off.
“And you’ve waited this long to call me? Here I thought we were friends,” I tease.
“Well, considering the rumor was about you, I tried waiting you out to see if you would call,” she says, making my heart sink.
Shit, it’s officially out. I knew it was only a matter of time before everyone would know that I wasn’t going to be on the team because I got pregnant, but still.
“What was the rumor?” I ask as I run my thumb over the seam of my jeans along my knee.
“That you were with child.”
“With child? Seriously? Just say pregnant.”
“Well, are you?”
Taking a deep breath, I look back at the ice. My eyes immediately finding Brett.
“I am.”
Kaitlyn’s quiet for a moment. “Well shit, here I was hoping that it was just a rumor from a jealous bitch.”
“Afraid not.”
“Well, you need to be careful of Ashley Summers. She is the one spreading your business. You still rooming with her?”
I sigh. “Unfortunately.”
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” she asks hesitantly.
Shutting my eyes, I smile. “I’m good. Actually, I’m great.”
“You’re great? You really expect me to believe that? You just told me you’re pregnant, which means the Olympics aren’t happening for you.”
Late at night, when we were little girls, we would stay up late on the phone while our parents slept.
When most girls were talking about what boys they thought were cute, we were counting down until the Olympics.
We would talk about what country we hoped they would be held in and who we thought would be on the podium with us.
At one point, we even joked about how one of us would need to start skating in pairs so that we could both win gold at the same Olympics.
We had it all planned out.
“I’m sorry, I know we had plans to go together. That doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen, though. All it means is that we will have to wait another four years.”
Kaitlyn groans. “Are you serious right now? You’re going to make me keep competing for another four after this? I was going to be one and done, then go hog wild. I was going to learn how to do keg stands while weighted down by my medals.”
Tipping my head back, I laugh at the image. If given the chance, I’m sure she would do it too.
“I mean, you can still do it and then start training again,” I point out.
“Fine, if you insist. Are you seriously good, though? Are you happy?”
Brett looks over at me for a split second before looking back at what’s going on around him.
“Honestly, I’m perfect. This wasn’t expected or anything, but I’m happy. It almost feels too good to be true.”
“And your baby daddy? Is it the guy you’ve been hooking up with the entire time you’ve been there?”
“Yes, it’s Brett.”
“Are you two together finally, or did he bounce when you told him?”
I chuckle under my breath. “Yes, we are officially together, and to say he was excited would be an understatement. As soon as I told him, he stepped up. He never questioned if he was the dad. All he asked was what I wanted to do and if I was okay.”
She whistles. “Damn, so what I’m hearing is that you got one of the good ones.”
“The best.”
“Does he have any friends?” she teases, making me smile.
“Most of his friends are taken, but I’m sure if you came down for a weekend, you could find someone to pass the time with. I mean, he is a hockey player after all.”
She hums. “I could be a skater bunny for a minute.”
“I think you mean puck bunny,” I say with humor in my voice.
“Is there really any difference?”
“Probably not. Now tell me, how’s training going, and please don’t leave a detail out.”
For the rest of Brett’s practice time, I listen to my friend tell me all about her training schedule and how it’s going. Shockingly enough, I’m not jealous at all.
Leaving the locker room, I see her right away. She’s leaning against the wall, bump clearly on display.
Fuck. Weeks ago, when we were working out, I thought about how gorgeous she would be when she really started to show. To say my imagination didn’t do the real thing justice would be an understatement.
She looks over at me and smiles.
“Hey, you looked good out there, hotshot.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I watched you put the puck in the net,” she says, making me laugh.
“You know most people would call that scoring a goal, right?” I tease.
“Potato. Potahtoe.”
“Thanks for waiting for me.”
“Always.” We start walking toward the exit.
“I saw you were on the phone.”
“Yeah, one of my old skating friends called. She heard that I was ‘with child.’ Her words, not mine.”
“No hiding it now, huh?” I ask as we get into my car.
“Nope. I confirmed it and told her that despite this being unplanned, it almost feels too good to be true,” she says, making me frown.
Too good to be true? Does she really feel that way? If she does, I hate it.
“How do you feel about getting some ice cream?” I ask.
“Dude, yes. One thousand percent yes.”
She reaches over and takes my hand in hers as I drive.
How can I prove to her that this isn’t too good to be true? Or is this one of those moments where I have to continuously show her over time?
Ten minutes later, we have our ice cream and sit down in a quiet booth in the back of the shop.
“Okay, what’s wrong?” she finally asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Something is clearly bothering you and has since you got out of practice. Tell me,” she says as she eats her ice cream.
Taking a deep breath, I contemplate bringing it up. I really don’t want to make something out of nothing, but it’s important to talk this kind of shit out.
“You said you feel like this is too good to be true,” I say, making her tense. “But it’s not, or at least I have to believe it’s not. Because if it’s too good to be true, that means my worst fear could happen.”
“And what’s that?” she asks softly.
“That you will walk away. Take our baby and run. Leaving me alone and with nothing.” I look down at my ice cream cup.
“Everyone leaves. Growing up, my parents always left me with the nanny. Then it was my middle school best friend when he moved away. He promised to stay in touch but didn’t.
Shit, I tried to keep in contact with him, but never heard back.
Then Beckett and Clay. Granted, they left to be drafted and we still talk, but it’s not the same.
Again and again, people have left me behind, and I’m worried you and our baby will do the same. ”
Ditching her side of the booth, Emery comes and sits next to me. She touches my face softly until I look at her.
“First of all, even if things don’t work out between us, I would never take our baby away from you.
Our child is yours as much as it is mine.
On top of that, no matter what, I will always be in your life.
I will always be your family. I’m not going anywhere, Brett.
I promise. When I say it’s almost too good to be true, I don’t mean that I don’t feel like I don’t deserve this.
I just mean that I’m scared. Just like you. ”
Her words soothe me, but still.
“Insecurities are a bitch,” I mutter, making her laugh.
“Tell me about it, and here I thought you didn’t have any insecurities.”
“Buttercup, I’m only human.”
“I know, but still. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been nothing but confident.”
“Em, you make me feel anything but confident. You had me wrapped around your finger since the night we met, and you wanted nothing to do with me.”
Her cheeks flush. “I mean, when you put it like that I sound like a bitch.”
“I don’t mean it like that.”
“I know you don’t,” she sighs. “So what are two people who are scared and in a relationship, together supposed to do?”
“Keep showing up for each other until the fear goes away, I assume.”
“Well damn, that sounds horrible,” she teases as she grabs her ice cream. “To make matters worse, my ice cream is melted.”
I tap her leg. “Move, I’ll go order you a new one.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Trust me, it is.”
She slides out of the booth and goes back to the side she was originally sitting on. I get up, go to the counter, and order another round.
“Thank you,” she says when I hand her a new ice cream.
“You’re welcome.”
“You treat me so well,” she sighs as she brings her cone to her mouth.
“Because you deserve it.”
“Okay, enough of the feels shit. I’m starting to get hives. How do you feel about the name Maverick?” she asks.
“We aren’t naming our child after a Top Gun character.”
She pouts. “You’re no fun.”
“That’s not what you were saying the other night,” I tease.
“Ugh, none of that. I want to enjoy my ice cream without being horny. Now let’s talk baby names. How do you feel about Clover, for a girl?”
“Please no,” I beg.
“Okay, then what do you have in mind?”
“How about Dustin for a boy? Casey could work for both…”
Her nose crinkles. “Absolutely not, try again. Oh, and no unisex names.”
While we don’t come up with a baby name, we do have fun coming up with ones that we don’t like, which is just as helpful. We might not know what we want in a baby name, but we sure as hell know what we don’t.
All that matters is that we have time. We don’t need to make any decisions today. We still have a couple of weeks to figure it out…unless she goes into labor early…