Chapter Four
Grayson
I s it weird to grow so attached to someone you haven’t actually known that long? I mean, Ryker is, well, Ryker. It’s kind of his normal to become attached super fast.
But it’s not my normal. Being more on the shy end, it makes it harder to get close to people.
Then there’s Harley… She’s perfect in every way. Every day she is unknowingly working her way into my heart.
And now, we sit in the main room, with Ryker and Harley on either side of me on one couch, while Brielle, Lincoln, and Rage are on the couch directly across from us.
The only thing in between us is a coffee table. Well, that and Noah. He hovers on the side of the coffee table, not being able to sit still. His arms are crossed, and he looks concerned. His hand is twitching like he wants to twirl his knife but is holding back with visitors here.
All I really want to do right now though is take Harley’s hand and go upstairs and hide away with her. Even Ryker and Cade. Just the four of us.
My people. I just want to be with them when my mind is a mess and things aren’t as clear right now.
Lincoln sits directly across from me, his elbows resting on his knees as he runs a hand through his shaggy brown hair, keeping his eyes downcast.
It’s the same way my brother would sit when he had a lot on his mind or was stressed. Which was often since he was always dealing with my dad and whatever he did for work. I know I need to say something, but I don’t really know what to say.
After we came out of the bathroom, Rage had us all come in here and sit down. No one has said anything yet. Well, until now.
“Alright, I know you’re here because of Harley, and you’ve been in her life for months now, but what is it you want with Grayson? You know he is here now; did you ever look for him? Earlier, you claimed you knew about him, but yet after his brother died, you didn’t show up. At all. We didn’t even know you existed,” Noah rants while pacing on the side of the couches.
As soon as he finishes talking, he stops and locks eyes with Lincoln, who is now watching Noah. Crossing his arms, he raises a brow.
“You may be his cousin, but I have cared for him for years now, and that doesn’t stop now just because you show up,” Noah snapped.
The only other person who has cared this deeply for me was my brother. Noah is like another brother to me. When I first came here, I struggled with feeling like Noah was replacing him, but Noah made it clear he could never do that. That he was just a bonus sibling for me now.
“After Liam died, I got in contact with your mom, Helen. The biggest issue was my dad and your dad Grayson,”—he looks over at me—“didn’t get along. There is a long history of issues between them. So Liam and I got close when we were really little and our moms were friendly with each other. But then our dads had a huge falling out and we moved away to Virginia.
“Liam would come and visit on occasion. He told me about Grayson being born, and I saw pictures as you were growing up. I made a trip down once; you were about three years old, so I imagine you don’t remember me. But life just didn’t always work out for us to see each other more often.”
Running a hand down his face, he lets out an annoyed sigh.
“Your mom told me that you guys were doing a small funeral with just the three of you and it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to show up because of your dad. I respected that, and I always tried to check in to see how you were. Your mom always said you were doing good.
“Then one day Helen called me. She never called me, so I knew something was going on. She said that you, your dad, and her were moving to the West Coast. Somewhere in Nevada, I believe. They wanted a fresh start and said you needed one, too. I couldn’t get a hold of you after that.
“Atlas and I have talked about looking for you all, but my dad is still a big part of my life, and he is vastly against anything that has to do with his brother,” he says with a slight sneer. The dislike for his own father is evident just by the way he tenses up when mentioning him.
“So, this is just a really, really odd coincidence?” I question with a small chuckle. Harley puts her hand on my thigh and gives it a squeeze.
Lincoln offers me a small half-smile. “Seems like miss troublemaker brought us together.” He glances over at Harley, his face becoming softer and lighter when looking at her, like one would their younger sibling or child. “How long have you been here? How did you end up here?” Lincoln directs at me.
Gulping, I force all the words out at once to get it over with. “My parents never really liked me or wanted much of anything to do with me. After Lia–my brother died, it got worse. My dad was never home. He basically lived at work. But my mom… she started drinking super heavily and would just ask me to leave and go somewhere else whenever she was in a mood. So I would always come here because I was friends with Cade and Ryker through school.
“Then one day, my mom yelled at me to get out. I called Noah, and he showed up with a few others. They talked to her, and then I came here and never went back.” I shrug and drop my eyes to the ground.
I think there is a small part of me that worries he will see whatever my dad and mom saw: the waste of space. A child that is good for nothing. He’ll treat me just like them or want nothing to do with me. I mean, he already isn't here for me. He’s here for Harley.
“I’m so sorry that I didn’t try harder. Really, I know that sorry doesn’t do much, but—”
“He doesn’t need your useless apology,” Noah spits. “What now? Tell him what you want, what you would like to happen. Don’t leave the kid to spiral into his own head that you’re so sorry but then don’t do or say anything else.”
I bite my lip to hold back a small smile that wants to form. Noah is being quite harsh, but I can’t be upset with him. He is one of the few people who have shown me countless times that he is always here for me. It feels really good to have that reminder now.
Clearing his throat, Lincoln doesn’t even bother looking at Noah who is now standing to the side, arms crossed, glaring down at him.
“I would like to be a part of your life. Get to know you. I mean, we will probably be around more often now that Harley is here, so maybe we could spend some time together too,” Lincoln explains. “You are also welcome to my home in Virginia whenever you want to come. It’s an open invitation.”
I open my mouth to speak, but Noah does so first, “He isn’t fucking going anywhere. This is his home. With us.” At this point, he gives up keeping his cool and pulls out a small pocketknife before starting to twirl it in between his fingers.
“Blade, I don’t think that is what he means,” Rage explains, trying to soothe the tension.
“He’s not wrong, though,” I begin hesitantly.
When everyone looks at me, I feel heat rise to my cheeks. Clearing my throat, I square my shoulders and glance between everyone before my gaze lands on Lincoln.
“This is my home. Thank you for the offer. I think–I think I would like to get to know you too. It’ll be nice to talk to someone who knew my brother.” I smile slightly, offering an olive branch.
Lincoln lets out a breath, and Brielle rubs his back softly, relaxing him further.
“Alright, well, I don’t think there is much more we can do about anything right now. It’s getting late, so everyone should get some rest,” Rage commands. He looks at Lincoln and Bri. “Sugar should have your rooms ready soon. I believe Atlas was with him.”
Harley perks up next to me at the mention of his name; Brielle notices and smiles at her. “He was giving space…” she hesitates to finish her sentence.
“Because of my meltdown earlier. It’s okay,” Harley says with a nervous chuckle. Looking at Ryker and me, she adds, “I want to go stay with Cade until he wakes up.”
We both nod and stand up. After Harley says goodnight to Brielle and Lincoln, we head back to the medical room.
Cade is still out like a light, and Doc is there checking him over. He looks up at us when we come in. “I took more blood and had it tested. Everything is back to normal. He should be waking up at any point now. He might even be extra hungry and thirsty when he does. However, he also might feel weak for a few days, but he will be fine.”
After cleaning up his stuff, Doc leaves and bids us all farewell.
I excuse myself and run upstairs to grab some blankets and pillows. Harley’s door isn’t locked, so I grab her some clean clothes and bring everything downstairs. Walking back in, Ry raises a brow at me with a large grin on his face.
Shaking my head, I drop the blankets on the other beds in here and then hand Harley the clothes. “There should be showering stuff in the bathroom next door. I’m sure you want to shower after everything that has happened today,” I murmur softly.
Harley takes the clothes from me, but before she walks away, she leans up and kisses my lips quickly. “Thank you, Gray.”
After she leaves, I distract myself with laying out the blankets and getting them ready for the night. I don’t know if Harley will really be able to sleep, what with worrying about Cade, but hopefully we can at least rest for a bit.
Ryker’s hand lands on my shoulder, and I jump slightly, spinning around to face him. “Are you doing alright?” he asks quietly, searching my eyes.
I blow out a breath. “I don’t know. It’s a lot to think about. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that out of everyone in the world, Harley ended up there with Lincoln and brought him into my life.” I shake my head with a light laugh. “It’s insane.”
Before I can stop them, a few tears trickle down my cheeks; the normal comfort that Ryker brings me allows my walls to drop all the way down around him.
I smile bitterly. “I really miss my brother. I try not to think about it too often, but now I feel like all I can do is think about him. It hurts,” I whisper.
“I know, Gray.” Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, Ryker pulls me against his chest, resting his head against my own while I drop my forehead to his shoulder and wrap my arms around his waist. “Maybe you need to talk about him more. Stop trying to keep him in this box in your head. It is okay to get emotional about it.”
“It makes me feel weak,” I admit, my voice low and hoarse from the sobs threatening to break free.
“It shouldn’t. I don’t know who the fuck decided that men have to be strong all the time and never show emotions, but it’s bullshit. We feel shit just like women do, sometimes it’s just in different ways. Cade and I will fight it out, Cade runs, I use humor, but you? You need to feel your emotions and cry and that is okay. Even if you can’t do it around others, you can always do it with me. I’ve got you.”
Pulling back slightly, I meet his brown eyes with mine, our noses so close they are almost touching. Ryker bites his bottom lip, and his forehead creases in confusion before he clears his throat and pulls away, running a hand over the back of his neck.
Pinching my lips together I spin back around and finish getting the beds ready. My heart thunders in my chest, and I can’t help but let my mind wander .
What would it have felt like if he had pressed his lips against mine?
Harley comes back in a while later, and Ry has laid in one bed and me in the other. She stands near the door, biting her lip.
“What's wrong, babe?” Ry asks groggily.
Pulling at the sleeves of the hoodie she wears, her cheeks turn pink. “Can we, uh, push these together?” she stammers.
Ry chuckles and gets up, easily pushing the bed right next to the one I’m on. “That crack probably isn’t going to be very comfortable,” I mumble, sleepily rubbing my eyes.
Harley gives a shy smile and climbs on the bed, grabbing an extra blanket and shoving it in the crack, then laying down in the middle.
“Well, alright then,” Ry remarks as he flicks off the lights and crawls in on the other side of Harley, who is now facing me.
“Thank you for the hoodie,” she murmurs.
Ryker’s head pops up from behind her. “You sneaky little shit. This is yours, isn't it?” I nod and shrug as Ryker shoots me a glare and Harley giggles, snuggling into my side.
A while later, we have all been dozing off and on, none of us really able to get a good night of sleep. But now there is a groan sounding from next to us. Before I can even register what it is, Harley is climbing over me and walking the few feet to Cade’s bed, taking his hand.
“Cade?” she asks, her voice but a whisper in the dark room.
Ryker and I both slip out of bed, coming up next to Harley. Cade blinks up at us and opens his mouth to talk but starts coughing instead. Harley lunges for the water on the table by the bed and hands it to him.
He slowly sits up and chugs the whole thing. “Fuck,” he mumbles. “Are you alright?” he asks Harley, raising his hand to cup her cheek.
She nods and blinks away tears. “I’m so sorry.”
The second the words leave her mouth, she starts sobbing and repeating she’s sorry over and over again. My heart hurts for her as we all watch her fall apart over everything happening. I can only imagine how she is feeling and how much guilt is sitting with her. Even if none of this is her fault, I understand how the guilt seeps in anyway.
Ryker pulls her against him, trying to get her to calm down while Cade snaps, “Why the fuck are you sorry?”
Harley sniffles and looks past Ryker. “I—this is all my fault. And then I was a mess in there; I couldn’t even keep it together. You–you were mean, and I was mean, and then everything happened, and I felt horrible, but then I felt anger towards you for how you talked to me. Then I felt guilty for being angry at all when this is all my fault, and you were just trying to keep us alive,” she rambles on frantically.
Ryker grasps her cheeks and slams his mouth against hers, cutting her off. “Stop it,” he demands against her lips.
She nods slowly and takes a deep breath. Pulling back, she glances at Cade, who is staring at her with furrowed brows. “I need to use the bathroom,” Harley mumbles and all but runs out of the room.
“Cade? What happened?” I ask when she’s gone.
He shakes his head, hesitating. “It’s a little foggy. I think it’ll come back after I get some better sleep. But…” He rubs his temples and then looks between us. “Did she talk about it?”
“About you? No. She just was really worried about you. We didn’t expect that,” Ry says, waving his hand in the direction of the door Harley ran out of.
“No, no, I mean David—that fucker. Whatever he did or said. Has she talked about it? Did you find out what happened? How long was she stuck with him?” he growls. “I couldn’t fucking stay conscious, no matter how hard I tried to.”
My eyes widen, and my mouth pops open while Ryker clenches his fists. “What did he do?” Ry asks slowly.
“I don’t know. That’s the problem.” Clenching his eyes shut, he mutters, “I need to sleep. My mind is fucking foggy as shit.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “You guys were gone for about six hours.”
“Fuck. I think I was only awake for less than an hour,” Cade says sleepily.
“Try to sleep so you feel better. We can talk about this later,” I respond, giving Cade’s shoulder a soft squeeze.
They both nod, and Ry and I walk back over to the other beds, sitting down and giving Harley a few more minutes. Ryker threatens to go get her but then she walks back in, her eyes red but no more tears falling. She glances at Cade’s sleeping form and then at us.
“His mind is still foggy from everything. He just needs to rest more,” I explain, offering her a comforting smile. “Are you okay?”
Walking towards the bed, she nods and climbs back into the middle, wrapping herself in a blanket and shutting her eyes.
“Everything is fucked,” Ry grumbles from beside me.
“It’ll be okay,” I try to reassure him as I lay back down.
“Will it?” he snaps. “Because I don’t think this is the end of it. We have barely dipped our toes in the water. What if we drown before we get to the other side?”
“We won’t drown because we have each other. We are just still learning right now. But we will be stronger together. You were the first to see that, Ry; don’t lose that spark now. We will all need it more than ever.”