Chapter 20
Claire
It’s been six months. With next to no contact with the outside world.
This is mostly my doing, of course. I revamped my blog enough to bring in some income, and Lex said he’d supplement until the trial is over.
He and Juliette send over pictures periodically for me to identify, but other than that, I’m damn near a recluse.
Being almost six-months pregnant isn’t helping things.
I’m emotional, hormonal, and confused.
The one man who hasn’t come to see me or, hell, even contacted me is the one I wish would.
Chris—or Adam, as I now know is his real name—has dropped off the face of the planet.
I’ve asked Lex about him, but he just skirts the question.
I’m not sure if it’s because I pushed Adam away when I first came here?
Or maybe they are just busy and I’m low priority. Who knows.
Maybe Adam doesn’t want to see me? I wouldn’t blame him.
I lied, killed Cano—even though no one will confirm that—and have given him no reason to trust me.
Hell, maybe he has his own life and I’m not a part of it anymore.
Just a person in a case that he only was a part of because it’s his actual job to do so.
I slump against the threadbare couch.
How is this my life?
All I wanted was justice for Charlie, and now I’m locked up in a house in the name of protection. I guess it’s fitting if I did kill Cano. A prison of my own making.
A knock at the door damn near sends me into a panic, but I realize there are only a couple of people who know where I’m at.
Checking the peephole, I see it’s Lex, so I open the door a crack.
“Uh, hi. It’s Lex. From the Marshals’.”
“I know who you are,” I snip.
“Right, well, can I come in? I have a few things to talk to you about.”
My head tips back as I blow out a breath. “Sure.” The second I open the door wider, his eyes go straight to the bump I can no longer hide.
“Holy fuck,” he whispers.
“Yep.” I nod and walk to the living room. He stays in the doorway, slack-jawed.
“Um, well, I brought pizza.” He finally walks into the living room.
“Great,” I deadpan. “What did you need?”
He sighs, running his hand through his hair before putting the pizza down on the coffee table. “Claire, I promise it won’t be for much longer.”
“Sure.” He’s said this nearly every time he’s contacted me online. I stopped believing him after the third time.
“I can see why he likes you,” he mumbles under his breath.
“What?” I jolt back.
“Nothing. You hungry?”
“Not really, but you’re not taking no for an answer. Especially now.” I wave to my belly.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” His eyes never leave my bump.
“Gee, I don’t know. How about because the father doesn’t want to see me? How about the fact that he never asked for this? To him, I’m just a stripper trying to get revenge for my dead brother. Of course he wouldn’t want anything to do with this.”
“Claire … Adam’s not like that, and you know it.”
“Do I?” I tilt my head.
“I think he’d really like to see you, especially now. And it’s none of my business, but he deserves to know.”
“You’re right. It really is none of your business.”
“Stubborn woman. I have a couple of pictures for you.” He slides three pictures toward me on the coffee table.
“Hunt Packard.” I point to the first picture. “Annnnnd, I think this guy’s name is Taylor … Thomas … Maddon.” I hum, thinking about it. “Taylor Maddon, that’s it.” I tap the second picture after naming them both.
“Do you know what any of them do?” he asks, carefully watching my face.
“Pay for sex?” I ask, attempting to be innocent.
“Claire …”
“God, loosen up, Lex. I’m the prisoner here, not you. I don’t know their jobs outside of anything Cano related.”
“You aren’t a prisoner.” He holds his hand up to silence me before I can refute. “And what did they do for Cano?”
“I can only say Taylor did deliveries. Hunt only watched the women. Paid for more, occasionally. I didn’t see any actual packages, though, so I can’t say they were drugs or artifacts.”
I turn my focus to the pizza. It really is damn good pizza.
It makes me think about Adam again. That first couple of weeks, I didn’t want to see him.
My head was a fucking trainwreck with figuring out I was pregnant and all.
I couldn’t tell you up from down, facts from fiction.
I remember Lex asked me a couple of times if I wanted Adam there, and I immediately said no because I didn’t want him to see me like that.
I guess I just didn’t realize I would never see him.
“Hey, Lex?” I decide to go for broke.
“What’s up?” he asks, not taking his focus from the notes he’s taking.
“Would it be possible … I mean, it’s stupid … I just ...” I stumble over my words.
“You want to see Adam?”
“Is that even possible?” I whisper.
“I can make that happen. Juliette won the fucking bet, though.” His head shakes.
“What bet?” I sit up.
“How long it would take you to ask for him. He’s been going fucking crazy, so we made a little office bet on when he would be put out of his misery.” He smirks at me.
Adam has been going crazy? Maybe it wasn’t one-sided.
“I, umm, don’t know how to respond to that.”
“Act like I didn’t tell you. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He cringes, realizing that telling me about an office bet involving me probably wasn’t ideal.
“You’re the WITSEC guy, right?” I decide to mess with him a little bit.
“I am,” he says slowly.
“Are you always this unprofessional with the people you’re protecting?” I try to hide my smirk.
“Unprofessional? What the hell? I got you pizza! That has to count for something.” He’s completely offended, and I have to laugh.
“It does, especially for a preggo lady. You’re right. It’s just easy to mess with you. God knows I don’t have any other fun here.”
“I know it’s been a long time. This is just such a vast case; we’re trying to ensure you stay safe.” He rubs his hand across the back of his neck.
“I know … I’m just …”
“Lonely,” he murmurs.
“Yeah. And scared.” I sigh. There’s a pause, almost weighted, like the world is too heavy right now. “Does he really want to see me?” It’s stupid to ask, but I’m a glutton for punishment apparently.
“Yeah. Whatever you both did while he was undercover really got to him. And you, it seems. I won’t ask, but I will say that if you are going to mess with him, don’t make me bring him here.
If there was something real there … then don’t run away from it.
I know that”—he gestures to my stomach—“complicates things, but give him a chance to make it right.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I grin at him.
“Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t call me that. I get enough shit from the team. I don’t need you jumping in too.”
“Hey, Lex?”
“Yeah, Claire?”
“You’re good people. Thanks for the pizza.”
We eat the rest of the food in silence. Lex makes notes on the pictures while I zone out.
Maybe not all is lost with Adam. But Lex’s words are on repeat in my head. “Give him a chance to make it right.”
All I want is to be with Adam, but I think I’ll always feel like I trapped him with the pregnancy. I don’t think there’s any winning here for me.
I awake from a dead sleep when I hear keys jingle in the door.
I grab the bat that Lex left for me that I keep by my bed and stand next to my bedroom door.
The squeak of the old wood lets me know the general area where the intruder is. The tip of a boot inches into my room, and I don’t think. I just swing.
A hand catches the bat, ripping it from my hands as I fall to the ground, desperate to keep a hold on it.
“Please, don’t hurt me.” Tears well in my eyes.
“Son of a bitch, that hurt,” a man exclaims as he drops the bat to the ground, shaking out his hand.
The moon barely shines a light on him, but it’s enough for me to catch a glimpse of that familiar blue.
“Adam?” I ask hesitantly, shoving farther away from him on the floor.
“Jesus, Lex gave you a bat?” He cradles his hand before kneeling down in front of me. “This is not how I wanted to see you again.”
“What, breaking into my house and scaring the shit out of me isn’t your idea of romantic?” I chuckle, tears still dripping down my cheeks.
“I didn’t think. Lex told me you wanted to see me, and I just … came. I didn’t think about logistics.”
“Clearly. Is your hand okay?” I grimace.
“Ahh, no. You’ve got a hell of a swing there. I think you broke something, but it’s okay.”
“That is not okay.” I gasp.
“I mean, at least I know you can protect yourself.” He chuckles.
“That’s not funny! Oh my God. I can call Lex.” I struggle to stand up.
Adam stops me with his good hand. That’s when he finally looks at me fully.
“Wha— I mean … what?” His eyes are wide. Fear, excitement, and confusion all shine bright through his clear blue eyes. “Are you okay?”
The tears I tried to keep at bay when I thought someone was breaking in fall like a waterfall. I can’t believe Adam is here and that I probably broke his hand, and yet he’s worried about me.
“I th-th-think we should sit down.” I try to talk through my sobs. Emotions I didn’t even realize I had been shoving down rise up and flay me wide open.
“Of course,” he rushes out, cradling his hand while leading me to the couch.
“I’m sorry.” I almost wail.
“Can I just … Do you have a first-aid kit?”
“Bathroom,” I say through my tears.
Adam races out of the room like he’s on fire, making me cry harder if that’s possible. The only thing I can do is wait him out and hope that I didn’t fuck everything up.
I’m not hopeful, though.