Chapter 28
Claire
It’s doctor’s appointment day. My twenty-week ultrasound—better late than never—is today, and I’ve bitten every single one of my nails to the quick.
Not because I’m nervous about seeing the baby—I’m ecstatic—but because Adam will be there.
It will make it real for him and therefore more real for me.
This is the day where he’ll realize we’re not worth the hassle. I have so much to work through that I don’t blame him if he wants to walk away. I’m not holding him here, and I won’t ever pressure him to be in our lives.
But fuck if I don’t want him to be. He’s been so fucking good to me, taking care of me in ways I never thought I would like. He doesn’t flip out when I cry hysterically at something random online or because he made me dinner.
I’m a hot mess, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But he’s there by my side through it all. He’s showing me the kind of man he really is. And I really love the man I’m seeing. It gives me hope that this baby will be okay. That they’ll have one parent who has their shit together and will not fuck up their life.
“You’re thinking too much,” Adam says from next to me in the waiting room.
“How would you know?” I smirk over at him.
“Because you’re face gets this cute little pinch right between your eyebrows when you’re having doubts or overthinking things.”
My hand immediately moves to the spot he called out, smoothing the skin there.
“It’s adorable and gives me insight into your head.”
“I need you to have a tell then too,” I counter, defensive, because I’m feeling extra sensitive today.
“Just ask, Claire. I’ll tell you anything.”
I sit there with his words, really soaking them in. “Are you nervous?” I murmur.
“So nervous.” He chuckles. “But really excited. I was looking at ultrasound pictures online, so I semi know what I’m looking at.”
He’s so fucking good.
“What about you? Nervous? Are we finding out if it’s a girl or boy?” he asks.
“Not nervous about the ultrasound, just my reaction to it. I’ve been thinking a lot about if I want to find out, and I’m leaning toward no. What about you? Do you want to know?” I look at him.
His hand moves, hesitant and unsure, to my belly. The baby is kicking like crazy, probably picking up on my nerves.
“I think, whatever you want, I’m game with. I think it would be fun to be surprised.”
“So you aren’t a control freak who needs to plan?” I smirk.
“I’ve never been a big planner. With my job, I needed to stay pretty flexible, so it’s just how I am now.”
“I am very much the opposite, but I think it’ll be good for me to stress less. Maybe. Who knows.” I lean my head onto his shoulder as his thumb moves across where the baby is kicking.
“You can always change your mind.”
“I know.” I sigh.
“Claire!” a nurse calls out from the side door, causing me to take a deep breath and stand up.
Adam grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers and giving me a gentle squeeze—a sign that he’s here with me. That he won’t be disappearing and we’re a priority to him.
I get situated in the room, tucking the little paper towel into my leggings and lifting up my shirt as I lie on the table.
Adam takes the seat next to my head, grabbing my hand again.
This time, it feels like a lifeline for him.
I think his nerves finally kicked in. It makes me breathe a little easier because he’s actually anxious.
So far, he’s been too easy-going with everything.
“Hey there, Claire. I’m Sarah. I’ll be your tech today. Who did you bring with you?” the tech asks as she gets everything set up.
“This is my …” I pause, not sure how to answer that.
“Baby daddy.” Adam smirks, making me roll my eyes.
“Jesus,” I mutter.
“How fun!” Sarah beams, ignoring Adam, who’s laughing. “Ready to start?”
I nod, squeezing Adam’s hand harder.
“Are we finding out what you’re having today?” she asks as she squirts jelly onto my belly and starts moving the stick around.
“Nope.” Adam takes the lead. I’m thankful for him jumping in because my heart is in my throat.
“Ooh! I love Team Green!”
I glance over at Adam, seeing if he knows what Team Green is, but he just shrugs.
Sarah continues to get all the measurements she needs, happily talking the whole time. I hate every second of it. I’d rather she just be quiet and take measurements, only tell me if there’s something bad and then move on. I don’t love peppy people at the doctor’s although I’m not totally sure why.
Eventually, she turns the screen toward us after she’s gotten the necessary information. “Here’s your baby.” She smiles.
It actually looks like a baby now. The last time I had a scan, it was a little jellybean blob.
“Oh my God.” Adam gasps.
I look at him because his hand tightens in mine, and what I see stills the breath in my lungs. Tears fall from his eyes, a look of pure awe on his face.
He eventually looks at me and says, “That’s our baby.”
Emotion overwhelms me. He’s not running. He’s not panicking. He’s here with me along for this very scary ride.
“Yep,” I choke out, wishing I could say something more, but my throat is closing up as I try to stop the tears from falling. Lord knows I cry enough these days.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Sarah says as she sneaks out of the room.
Adam gets up out of the chair, cupping my face and leaning over me.
“I promise with everything I am, everything I have, that I will take care of you two. I want this so fucking badly, Claire. I know I’m going to mess up, multiple times, but I want you two so much.
” He presses a kiss to my forehead, my cheeks, then my lips as I hiccup through the tears.
Damn him.
“We’re both going to mess up,” I whisper.
He heaves in a deep breath. “You are growing a baby in there.” He chuckles as much as he can through the emotion.
“Now you see why I sleep all the time.”
He burst out laughing before kissing me again. “I mean it, Claire. I’m in this a thousand percent.”
“There’s only one hundred percent. You can’t go over that,” I murmur, causing him to roll his eyes.
“Then I’m in one hundred percent.”
I nod because what can I say to this man right now? We still have so much to work through, but this moment feels monumental. This feels like we’ll be okay. I know without a doubt that he’ll be here for this child, and right now, that’s all that really matters.
Sarah reenters, making Adam sit back down, but he still holds my hand.
“I’m just going to print off some pictures for you both, and then we’re done here!” Her peppy-ness is grating on my nerves. Then she’s done, sending us on our way to another room, where we wait for the doctor.
“Is your doctor that …”
“Overwhelming?” I ask with a chuckle, so glad we’re on the same page. “No. God no. She’s very straightforward and no-nonsense.”
“Okay, good.” He breathes out in relief.
“Knock, knock,” Dr. Hardin says before walking in. “Hello there.” She looks at Adam. “I’m Dr. Marie Hardin, and you are?”
“Adam Morrison. Baby daddy extraordinaire.”
“Dear God, you have to stop saying that,” I tell Adam, but I’m smiling.
Today has been a damn good day, and I’m going to hold onto this feeling as long as I possibly can.
The drive home is quiet yet content. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt content in my life. It gives me hope and pushes me to want to explore more with Adam. I’ve been holding him at arm’s length because I’m scared—even I can realize that. But maybe I’m ready for more.
We pull into the house I’ve been living in, but neither of us moves to go inside.
I decide to take a chance.
“Take me inside, Adam, and show me how all in you are,” I murmur.
The air around us gets heavy, like we’ve both stopped breathing and there’s nothing but sexual tension left to cloud the space.
“You’re sure?”
“So sure,” I breathe.
Adam scrambles out his door and races around to mine. He rips the door open, unbuckles me, and helps me out before sweeping his arm under my legs and carrying me inside the house. Once he sets me down on the bed, I start to undress before he stops me with his hand.
“Please, let me do it. I just … God, Claire, I want to devour you and worship you all at the same time. But I need to go slow with you. I need to savor this.”
My heart pounds in my chest; I’m unsure of how to respond.
“Yes,” I murmur, staring at the intensity in his eyes. I didn’t realize how much I missed this, missed him.
Adam’s gentle touch slides up my legs, and he hooks his fingers into my waistband, pulling it down just over my bump. He takes his time, his hands spanning the width of my belly before he presses a kiss to it. “I’m so in love with this tiny human already.”
I can’t help it; I grip his hair, keeping him close to me.
“I never thought I’d be so lucky.” He presses another kiss when he feels a kick.
When his eyes meet mine, I can tell immediately whatever he says next will break me.
“Thank you for giving me this incredible gift. I will show you every single day just how grateful I am for you and this baby, if you let me.”
No words happen after that. My leggings are slowly slid down the rest of my legs and thrown off to the side. The same goes for my shirt. When I’m lying there in nothing but my utilitarian boy shorts and comfortable bra, he moves to quickly strip himself of everything except his boxer briefs.
“I’m not going to lie. Pregnancy has done really good things to your breasts.”
His words make me laugh.
“They are so fucking huge. I’m over it.” I shake my head, still laughing as he takes my bra off.
“Are they super sensitive?” His hands travel up my torso, gently cupping my breasts.
My back arches at how good it feels. “In a good way.” I moan.
“Fuck.” He blows out a steadying breath.
When his fingers roll my nipples, I know I’m screwed. It’s been too long, and everything is different since the last time we had sex. It all feels like too much yet somehow not enough.
“More.” I moan, squirming to get more.
Adam straddles my pelvis then turns his whole focus on my breasts.
He kisses, nips, rolls, and tweaks them until I’m trying to move my hips against his.
My hands grab his thighs in an attempt to hold onto something.
When the pleasure crashes through my body like a wave, I barely hold back my scream.
“Holy shit.” I pant, trying to figure out what just happened.
That’s when Adam shifts down, throwing my legs over his thighs and grinding into my still-covered pussy. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” he chants as he comes apart.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt as powerful as I do right this minute. That is until he yanks down my panties, shifting to his knees and licking me damn near ass to clit. He moans against my neck, making me clench tight.
“You’re so fucking wet.” He stands up, dropping his sticky boxer briefs and not bothering to clean up at all, before he kneels in front of me again.
He’s still hard, which might be the most shocking thing about this whole day.
“Jesus, Claire, you’re making me crazy.” He taps my clit with his dick before he notches at my entrance and smoothly slides fully inside of me.
It’s slow, powerful, and all-consuming at the same time.
All I can do is hold on and feel.
My head goes blank for the first time in years.
I allow Adam to show me how a woman is supposed to feel with a man she’s falling for.
Because that’s what I’m doing, right? I’ve been falling for him ever since I met him.
Regardless of how everything started for us, I know without a doubt that he’s a good man.
He’s what I hoped for in a partner but never realized I could actually have.
This is just the start, but I hope with everything I was, am, and will be that it works out for us.