Chapter 30
Adam
I’m at a loss.
I know therapy can get emotional, but Claire hasn’t stopped crying. Is it the hormones? The session? Something else?
I’m panicking and need answers, however egotistic that is. My gut reaction is to call someone with experience in this while Claire is in the bathroom.
“Well hello, stranger. Nice to know you’re in the land of the living,” Daisy, my sister answers almost immediately.
“Yeah, good to talk to you too. Listen, I don’t have time for small talk, but I promise to call about everything later.”
“Shit, what’s up?” Her immediate focus is something I desperately need right now.
“Don’t ask questions,” I preface, realizing she’s about to learn a lot of shit really quickly. “My pregnant girlfriend just had a therapy appointment, and she cried the entire way home. I’m talking full-on sobs, and I don’t know if this is therapy, hormones, or me. I’m a loss, Dais.”
Silence is the only thing in my ear.
“Dais?”
“I’m processing all the shit I just learned,” she deadpans.
“Sorry.” I cringe, glancing at the bathroom.
“You will be calling me again. To answer your question: I don’t know. Hormones are a wild thing, so it’s probably a combination. The best thing you can do is get her anything she needs, wants, or craves and just be there for her. Let her lead.”
“Let her lead,” I mutter.
“Oh, and Adam?”
“What?”
“I’m so freaking excited for you. I just want to scream right now, but Evelin is taking a nap, and I’m not waking that girl up for anything.
Now go take care of your lady.” She hangs up without fanfare, and I realize that’s why I called her and not any of my other sisters.
Everyone would have lost their minds, but Daisy not only has experience with pregnancy but will focus on my problem.
A throat clears behind me, making me turn to face Claire. She’s cleaned up her face, but there’s no hiding the redness from her tears.
“What can I do?” I ask, hoping there’s a way to help.
“Some water maybe?” Her voice sounds like she swallowed rocks.
I immediately jump up, head to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, and crack the seal. She drinks almost half in one go.
“Thank you.” Her hesitant tone makes me realize I’m just watching her like a creeper. “Do you want to sit? I can tell you about why I just cried hysterically for God knows how long.”
“You don’t need to tell me anything.”
“I would like to.” Claire’s hand grabs mine and leads me to my couch. “Your apartment is cute.”
“It’s all for show. My sisters decorated when I got it, but I’ve barely used this place.”
“Ah, I was wondering if it was an old girlfriend. No offence.” She smirks as she pulls down and puts her legs on top of my thighs.
I like it, how comfortable she is with me right now. My hands instantly go to her feet, running her insoles, as she sinks deeper into the couch.
“No girlfriend. Not for a very long time.”
She hums, content.
“So, therapy really sucks.” She says it like she’s telling me her favorite food, and I can’t help but bark out a laugh.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.”
“No, please laugh. I was expecting it to be tough, but damn. It was … hard. I spilled most of the last two years of my life to the poor guy, and then he zeroed in on Charlie. It was enlightening, honestly.”
“How so?” I want her to understand that I’m here for her through it all, no matter what happens between us.
“I haven’t really grieved my brother, and although I knew that, adding this baby into the mix makes it that much more complicated to do so. Craig—my therapist—gave me homework. I have to write a list of all the things I miss about Charlie.”
“I can help if you want.” My thumb digs into a particularly tough spot on her foot, and she groans.
“I think I’d like that. Fair warning, though: the tears will be never ending. These damn hormones just won’t quit. I can’t stop crying.” Her finger runs along the bottom of her eyes, demonstrating just how on the edge she is at all times.
“I can handle tears. I mean, I hate seeing you cry with a fiery burning passion, but I know why you’re crying, and that makes it easier.”
“I was also told I’m making a lot of assumptions about how you feel about all the life changes we are currently experiencing.”
“The baby?” I ask.
“Yep. I just assume it hasn’t really hit you yet, but Craig said I should ask you about it directly and not assume anything. I have to admit his approach has merit.” She smiles up at me, and I know I want to be the kind of man she can rely on.
“I think it’s mostly hit me. The ultrasound was … powerful. They look like a full-blown person, not just a blob like I was expecting.”
“It’s crazy, right?” Her hand rubs a spot on her right side like the baby just kicked.
My hand automatically goes there, like a connected string that I don’t have control over. She grabs my hand and moves it right where the baby is kicking. It’s awe inducing. She’s growing a baby—our baby.
“I never thought I’d get the chance at this,” I whisper as the baby goes to town where my hand is. “I thought I’d be undercover until it killed me and that was just what I was destined for.”
“Do you want kids?” Claire’s hesitant tone makes me look up at her. “I know it’s a little late, but there’s always a choice.”
“I love kids. I just didn’t think I’d be a very good father. Not because I had a terrible one when I grew up, but because I never felt like I could give enough of my time to a child, a family.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’m moving out of undercover work into God knows what, but I’m ready. Well, as ready as one can be, I suppose.”
We sit, hands on her belly feeling this incredible thing we created.
“We need a nickname,” I mutter.
“What?” Her head tilts.
“In my head, I keep calling it ‘the baby’ since we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl. I need a nickname.”
“Oh, umm, I’ve been calling them Teeny in my head.”
“Like teeny tiny?” I hold back my chuckle.
“Well, they were super small when I saw them the first time. I didn’t like the normal ones, like bean, potato, nugget … I don’t know. I could only think of food ones, and I hated that.” She shrugs.
“Then Teeny it is.” My thumb grazers her stomach when the baby kicks extra hard. “Apparently, Teeny likes the name, but you gotta chill, little one. You’re beating the crap out of your mom’s tummy.”
“I think I’ll miss it when they’re finally here,” she muses.
“Yeah?” I love hearing things like this from Claire. She’s kept things close to the chest since I’ve met her, so this is like the dam opening up.
“It’s like … like I get them all to myself. I don’t know how to explain it. There’s this connection I already have with Teeny. I know that I’ll do everything in my power to be the best parent possible for them.”
“You’re doing an incredible job.” My whispered words are a vow to help her in any way possible. They’re also a promise to do the same. Her tenacity and the love she already has for Teeny are awe-inspiring, and I hope to God that I can do the same.
I make a mental note to call my family and be more present in their lives. I want our baby to be surrounded by my wild sisters and know that they are loved by many, many people.
Her slow smile makes my heart pound.
“I’m a work-in-progress,” she says.
“We all are, Claire. But can we …” I breathe deep, hoping I’m not pushing things so far. “Can we be works-in-progress together?”
“You’re really okay with all this?” she asks.
“I mean, I think I’ll probably fail a lot, but I’m more than okay. You’ve had me hooked for a long time. Even when I wasn’t supposed to be.”
“We’ll both fail. I don’t think there’s a parent alive who hasn’t failed at something. And you don’t feel like I’m trapping you? Because that’s the last thing I want you to feel.”
I stare at her, with my hand still on her stomach. The tear-stained face, the wavy brown hair, and hopeful brown eyes …
And all I see is my future.
“Definitely don’t feel trapped.” I move her feet to the side and shift on top of her.
My arms hold up my weight, but I can still feel her bump on my stomach.
It makes me feral in a way I never expected.
“I am so fucking excited for this. But I’ll be honest.” I hesitate until her hand slides up my arm and wraps around my neck.
“I really want to show you how much I missed you the last six months.”
“Then show me,” Claire whispers.
Soft kisses and roaming hands take over. She’s like a breath of life that I can’t get enough of.
When my kisses move down her jaw and to her neck, she moans and arches her back. My hand slides down her back, gripping her ass hard and pulling her closer to me.
Her chuckle makes me stop for a second.
“Sorry, sorry. My bump is getting in the way.”
“Never,” I murmur, my lips still moving across her skin. “I love the feel of it. Knowing that I did this to you.”
“That’s very”—she gasps as I grind against her—“caveman of you.”
“You like it.”
“I actually do.”
I jolt up, realizing where we are. “Bed. We need the bed.” I scramble up before I turn back and pick up my woman.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Claire grumbles.
“Say that again, and I’m putting you on all fours and spanking the shit out of you. I can carry my woman, even when she’s pregnant.” I have no clue where this version of me has come from, but I can’t care about it right now.
Now, I get to worship the woman I’m gone for, the mother of my child, and the woman I want to live a better life for.
“Holy shit, you’re very hot right now,” Claire says, eyes wide.
I have no other words. My mind is overwhelmed by having Claire in my bed. I didn’t think I’d get her back, let alone have a baby with her.
My shirt comes off within seconds. My pants take a second to actually get off before I kick them to the side and strip out of my boxer briefs. Standing in front of Claire naked, I don’t feel exposed.
I feel wanted. Like for the first time in my life, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m not chasing anything. I’m not running from anything.
Her hands move to lift her shirt, but I shake my head.
“No, Claire baby. I get to undress you.” Her head shakes, but I stop her as my hand drags up her leg. “Please. Let me do this. Let me show you exactly how I feel about you.”
Her legs rub together as she squirms.
My hand unbuttons her jeans and slowly slides them down her legs. I leave her panties on because I’m afraid I’ll just attack her immediately if I don’t, and I need to take my time with her.
Next, while my hands never leave her soft skin, I push up her T-shirt over the bump I still can’t get over. My hand strokes over the stretched skin. It’s so perfect, so overwhelmingly incredible, that I can barely handle it.
“I’m going to get stretch marks,” Claire murmurs.
“I’ll kiss every single one. They make you stronger. They show how fucking incredible it is that you grew our baby.” My voice cracks.
Framing her bump with my hands, I lean forward and kiss right where her belly button is.
A wobble of her bump makes me look up to see tears running down the sides of her face.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“Happy tears.” She hiccups through her smile.
“Good. I’m in awe of you, Claire Daniels. I’m so damn lucky to have found you, however it happened.” My hands continue up, lifting her shirt up. Her breasts are practically falling out of her bra, giving me my next target.
I help her sit up, tossing her T-shirt to the side once it’s finally off. Her bra is next. Once she’s only in her panties, I have to sit back onto my heels and squeeze the base of my cock so I don’t blow immediately.
“You okay?” Claire asks with a grin.
“I’ll be okay if I can actually hold off my orgasm. Shit, Claire. I didn’t realize how much your body had changed. I’m dying to get inside of you.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“I need to worship you. Your body. God, everything Claire.” I’m not articulating well, but who can blame me with the lack of blood flow in my brain.
And then she spreads her legs wide, welcoming like a pond in the desert.
I growl as I collapse on top of her, careful to mind her stomach, and go straight to kissing her breasts.
Everywhere I can touch, I do. When I suck shallowly on one nipple and she gasps, I realize she’s more sensitive because of the pregnancy.
I’ll never survive this.
Her body is moving, rubbing against my desperate dick, and I’m just holding onto hope that I don’t come all over her.
That’s when I suck a little harder, alternating between breasts and rolling the nipple I’m not using my mouth on. Claire gets loud, moans and gasps leading to her gripping my hair hard. Then I feel her clit pulse against me.
I’m taking advantage of the sensitivity of these for as long as humanly possible.
“Oh my God.” I groan, gripping the side of her panties and ripping them as I slide down to be face to face with her pulsing pussy. I lick up the evidence of what I did. Her squeal doesn’t make me lessen my ministrations until she starts to shove my head away.
“Fuck, I’m so sensitive Adam.”
“Good,” I grunt, circling her with my fingers before pushing two inside. She’s so wet and pliant. I’m panting in an attempt to not lose my shit.
When I hook my fingers up, her legs close around me. I look up to see her mouth open in a soundless scream, her hands slapping the bed, and her whole body shaking.
Fuck yes. I did that. I made her come so hard she’s shaking.
She collapses, and I slow my fingers. “I need you. I need you so much, Claire baby,” I murmur, almost in pain.
“Please.” She moans.
I surge up to my knees and slide into her without any hesitation. She feels like a dream. Like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
She’s still pulsing lightly on my dick, making me lose control of my pace. I’m not in control of my body right now, but Claire doesn’t seem to mind.
My hands move to her breasts, holding them and pinching her nipples, as I watch her every reaction.
“I can’t. I can’t,” she chants.
“You can.” I moan as I feel her close around me.
“Adam!” she screams, coming again around me, and I’m lost to her.
I black out, barely able to hold myself off her, as I try to make sense of this life-altering sex we just had.
This is what they mean when they say lovemaking.
Claire’s sweeping hand across my sweaty back brings me back to the present.
“That was …”
“I know.” I don’t have words for what just happened. I slowly pull out, making Claire wince, before I shift off to the side and bring her into my chest to cuddle.
“So, we’re really doing this?” she asks softly.
“If by ‘this’ you mean a real relationship, then yes, we are. I’m not letting you go, Claire.” I press a kiss to her temple, praying she understands how I feel.
My hand goes straight to her bump again, and Teeny decides to kick right where my hand is.
This is the kind of life I’ve wanted but never thought I could have.
It’s all at the tip of my fingers. Now, I just have to keep it.