Chapter 23
The hot water streamed down her body, washing away the remnants of a passionate night. As she rinsed the shampoo from her hair, she found it impossible to wipe the smile from her face. Last night had been the first time she had completely given herself to a man, not just her body but her heart.
She had been so foolish in her attempts to push Aidan away, wasting time they could have been together. While Aidan had understood her initial reluctance, he still had the guts to call her out on her crap. She wrongfully projected her fears and past heartache onto Aidan, and he didn’t deserve that.
Between their lovemaking, they talked, sharing stories from their past and connecting on a deeper level. Aidan’s childhood was one she had always dreamed of. His parents were still together, and although his siblings had their share of rivalries, the family remained close. Aidan had seemed shocked by tales of her childhood, which were so different from the life he had always believed everyone experienced.
Talking about her family led straight into the tale of Jeremy. Although she hadn’t planned on sharing that part of her life this early in their relationship, she wanted him to understand that her heart had been damaged and still needed time to heal.
She stepped from the shower and grabbed a white fluffy towel from its hook. As she wiped the condensation off the mirror, a whiff of bacon teased her nostrils. As if on cue, her stomach rumbled, and her mouth watered.
“A man who cooks,” she mumbled, nodding at her reflection in a congratulatory manner.
Back in the adjoining bedroom, she pulled a pair of yoga pants off the back of a chair and rummaged around the drawers for a t-shirt. There was no sense bothering with a bra; if the morning went as planned, it would only be in the way.
Pulling a comb through her hair, she padded barefoot into the kitchen.
“What’s all this?”
She continued combing her hair as she sat at the center island, watching Aidan.
“Pancakes on the griddle, bacon in the pan, and coffee brewing.” Aidan used the spatula to point as he spoke. “I figure we worked up an appetite.”
Lucy smiled, dipping her head to hide the scarlet rising from her neck. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and she hoped to always feel this way around him.
Aidan pulled a mug from the cupboard and filled it with steaming coffee. He added a teaspoon of sugar and a dash of Oat Milk and offered her the cup.
“You know how I like it?” Lucy gave him a quizzical look and took the mug from his hands.
A twinkle danced in his eyes. “I pay attention.”
“I was an idiot,” she said quietly, looking down into her coffee. “All this time, I thought it was just about sex for you. You called me out pretty harshly last night.”
Adian shrugged. “I was hurt, and you needed to know why.”
She glanced up at him shyly. “I know. Thank you. I needed to hear it. Sometimes, the truth is brutal, especially since I had no idea I did anything wrong. I never stopped to consider how you were feeling or how my actions might hurt you.”
“Ah, sure, look,” Aidan said. “Everyone gets wrapped up in their insecurities. I think we hurt each other the most by trying to protect ourselves. It’s like collateral damage; no one intends on hurtin’ the other, but it happens.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, cradling the hot mug. “I toyed with your emotions, even though it was unintentional.”
Aidan turned back to his cooking. “It got us here.”
Lucy smiled at the statement. It was true; all her stupid mistakes and setbacks had brought them to this moment. It was funny how life worked sometimes.
She watched Aidan move with ease around her kitchen. He was wearing track pants but hadn’t bothered with a shirt. He appeared to belong in this kitchen as if he made breakfast here every morning.
Heat consumed her as her eyes grazed over his back and shoulder muscles. They tightened and relaxed as he flipped pancakes and turned the bacon. Subconsciously, she licked her lips as her gaze lowered to the pants hanging loosely around his waist. His butt looked firm and tight, clenching as he moved from side to side.
Have mercy; this man was hot and setting her entire body on fire. She squirmed in her chair, aching to touch him, to trace the outline of his shoulder blades with her fingertips.
All her nerves began firing at once, arousal coursing through her body. She could no longer stand it; she needed to feel the heat of his skin.
Rising from the chair, she rounded the counter. Unaware of her movements behind him, he stacked pancakes on a plate. A visible shiver ran through him at her delicate touch, tracing her fingertips lightly across his skin.
“I was sitting over there watching you,” she whispered, feathering light kisses along his shoulder blades. “I was itching to touch you. Needed to touch you.”
He exhaled, muscles tightening as he gripped the spatula in one hand and the counter in the other.
His skin was warm and soft as she slowly glided her hands along his sides, continuing to plant soft kisses across his back. Pressing her body against him, her hands traveled across his stomach, and he sucked in a breath.
“The pancakes are going to burn,” he panted.
“I’m already on fire,” she purred, gliding along his pecs while resting a cheek against his back.
Aidan turned off the griddle and grill and set the spatula on the counter.
Lucy hadn’t finished her exploration yet. She resumed kissing the skin on his shoulder while tiptoeing her fingers down to the waistband of his loose-fitting pants. Aidan sighed as she slipped one hand into his boxers, fingering the hair she found there.
His knuckles turned white as he tightened his hold on the countertop, his breath coming out in small moans. Lucy took his length in her hand, stroking lightly. He groaned in response.
He whipped around and surprised Lucy, knocking her off balance. She released him and stepped back, but he grabbed her around her waist, steadying her. His eyes smoldered as he lifted her to sit on the counter, pushing apart her thighs to stand between them.
“I want you for breakfast,” he said huskily.
Lucy panted, unable to catch her breath as desire coursed through her. Aidan took her mouth roughly, kissing her deeply as her legs wrapped around his waist.
The jangle of the door knob made Lucy’s spine stiffen. Breaking the kiss, she slammed a hand against Aidan’s chest and froze.
Kaylee shoved the door open and concentrated on disengaging the key that seemed stuck in the lock.
“I had the best time,” she said, not looking up from the door.
Kaylee struggled with the stubborn key as Lucy frantically disengaged herself from Aidan, shoving him back.
“Lola had a Rugby match and –––.” Kaylee’s eyes widened as she struggled to process the scene before her.
Aidan and Lucy stared at Kaylee, speechless. Aidan was shirtless, and his hair was a mess. Lucy still sat on the counter, her lips plump and her hair wet from the shower.
”Aidan?” Kaylee looked puzzled as she glanced from her teacher to her mom.
“He came for breakfast,” Lucy said quickly.
Kaylee’s face changed from puzzled to shocked as realization kicked in.
“Oh, good Lord!” Kaylee slapped her hand dramatically over her eyes. “Ew, gross! I need to wash my eyes.”
Kaylee whipped around and rushed into her bedroom, closing the door firmly behind her.
Lucy’s face turned dark crimson. Jumping off the counter, she opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Aidan began to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Lucy asked, looking at him with a horrified expression. “This isn’t funny.”
“It’s a little funny.” He pursed his lips, trying in vain to stop the smile from bursting across his face. “Oh, come on? Wash out her eyes? That’s funny.”
Lucy cracked a smile. “Teenage dramatics. Oh my gosh, this is awkward.”
Aidan pointed at his crotch. “No, that is awkward. Thank goodness I was behind the counter.”
Lucy burst out laughing, glancing down at the bulge in his pants. “I’m so sorry. Oh, what do they call that? Coitus interruptus?”
Aidan rolled his eyes. “All good things must come to an end. I should probably leg it on outta here.”
“But you didn’t eat,” Lucy protested.
He waved her comment away. “Ya need to talk to yar daughter, and ya can’t do it while I’m here. Besides, I don’t want Kaylee feeling uncomfortable for another minute.” Aidan kissed her forehead. “Call me later, okay? Whatever it takes, I want this to work.”
Lucy sighed, glancing toward her daughter’s closed door. “Me too, but––.”
“I know, ya need to talk with Kaylee first,” Aidan finished. “We don’t have to sort it right now. We’re taking things slow, remember?”
Lucy nodded as Aidan disappeared into her bedroom. He returned, fully dressed and carrying his jacket.
“Promise you’ll call.” It came out more as a command than a question.
“I promise.” Lucy made an X across her chest.
With a final kiss, he left. The instant the door closed behind him, silence filled the apartment. Lucy sank into the bar stool and stared into her lukewarm coffee.
She had known a conversation with Kaylee was inevitable but thought she would have more time. Lucy and Aidan had only reconnected; they had so much to figure out between themselves without dragging Kaylee into the mix. Now that the secret was out, there was no going back. Whether she wanted to or not, Kaylee needed to be included in the conversation.
Last night was amazing. One of the best nights of her life thus far. She had opened herself to another person, willing to be vulnerable and bare her soul without knowing the outcome.
At first, Aidan was angry, and rightly so; she had treated him like a disposable plaything, but he wanted to work things out. He hadn’t come over to berate, belittle, or insult her; he came to have an adult conversation. His words had been challenging to hear, but the end result was worth the few minutes of discomfort.
It dawned on her that the argument with Aidan was one of the healthiest conversations she had ever had with a potential love interest. They may have raised their voices and been upset, but there was no screaming, no name-calling, and no one storming out in a rage.
Jeremy had always blamed her for everything that went wrong in their on-and-off relationship. Anytime she tried to talk to him about her feelings, he would gaslight her and leave in a tantrum, making her feel guilty and at fault for things out of her control.
Aidan was the polar opposite of Jeremy. Throughout the night, they chatted about everything. He listened to her and asked questions to gain a deeper understanding. Jeremy only cared about himself and only talked if he was the subject matter. Jeremy was over, and she would never return to that life again. She was making great strides in building a new life here, and it was clear that life would include Aidan.
There was only one thing left to do. Talk to Kaylee. For some reason, this scared Lucy more than her confrontation with Aidan. This man, after all, was her daughter’s teacher. With one word, Kaylee could bring this house of cards tumbling down. If Kaylee weren’t okay with the relationship, it would have to be over.
As if on cue, Kaylee’s door creaked open. She popped her head out, eyes darting back and forth like a rabbit during hunting season.
“Is he gone?”
Lucy nodded. “Yes.”
“Good, I gotta pee.” Kaylee darted out of her room and down the hall to the bathroom.
Lucy held back a laugh. “You could have used the toilet.”
“Awkward!” Kaylee called from behind the closed door.
Lucy wasn’t sure if it was a bad sign Kaylee wasn’t comfortable enough to come out of her room with Aidan in the house. Her heart sped up as anxiety threatened to overcome her. She feared this conversation would mark the end of what Lucy had hoped would be the beginning of something extraordinary.
Pushing up from the bar, she moved to the opposite side of the island. The abandoned pancakes sat on a plate, growing cold. Bacon lay in its congealing grease, and batter remained in the mixing bowl. They would need to eat in the next five minutes or toss it all in the trash.
“Smells good in here.” Kaylee walked into the kitchen, looking around as if unsure Aidan had gone. “Did you cook all this?”
“Aidan cooked,” Lucy said cautiously, tiptoeing into the impending conversation.
“He cooks?” Kaylee looked surprised. “Bonus points. Wait, you haven’t eaten any of it. Is it gross?”
Lucy raised her eyebrows. “You walked in before I got the chance.” She blew out a breath. “Sorry, Sweetie, that had to be awkward.”
“Super awkward,” Kaylee agreed, pulling the plate of pancakes toward her.
“Bacon?” Lucy picked up her coffee mug from the counter and set it in the microwave.
“Sure.” Kaylee took a small bite of pancake. “Yum, this is really good.”
Lucy placed two strips of bacon on a plate and handed it to Kaylee. Turning back to the microwave, she retrieved her coffee and took a careful sip.
“You should try some pancakes.” Kaylee pushed the plate toward her mother.
“I guess I can give it a go, as they say here.” Lucy took a bite. “Wow, that is good.”
Kaylee began cutting another pancake into bite-sized pieces. “So, how long have you been sleeping with my teacher?”
Lucy stopped chewing and swallowed hard. “I guess we’re jumping right in.” Lucy paused. “First of all, it’s not what it looks like.”
“So, you’re not sleeping with him?” Kaylee asked. “He didn’t sleep here last night and then make you breakfast this morning?”
Lucy felt her face flush. “Okay, it”s exactly what it looks like.”
“Yep,” Kaylee said. “So, how long has this been going on?”
“Well, that’s complicated.” Lucy contemplated the best way to explain things. While they had an open relationship, there was still a fine line between parent and child. Kaylee may be wise beyond her years, but she was still only twelve. “We’ve been on and off for a while.”
Kaylee’s face screwed up in disgust. “I thought you were done with that.”
A rock thudded in Lucy’s stomach. “Done with what? Men? Dating?”
Kaylee rolled her eyes. “Casual sex,” she said bluntly. “The last thing you need is another man like Dad in your life.”
Waves of guilt flooded over her. Kaylee was observant and knew far too much about her mother’s sex life. Lucy shouldn’t be surprised. At six years old, she had known more about sex than any television show would ever teach her. She heard the sighs and moans carrying through the thin walls. Of course, Kaylee would have experienced the same thing.
“This is nothing like that, I promise.” Lucy reached across and clutched her daughter’s hand. “Aidan is nothing like your father.”
Kaylee dropped her gaze, absently pushing a piece of pancake around the plate with a fork. Lucy’s heart broke. She never wanted her child to feel the pain and abandonment Lucy had known her entire childhood. A father who was all but absent; those few moments Jeremy did come around weren’t for Kaylee’s benefit but more a means to an end. Kaylee had always seen right through the fa?ade Jeremy displayed.
“What have I done to you?” Lucy sighed heavily. “I tried to protect and shield you, but I never did. I’m sorry your dad is such a loser. I should have chosen better.”
Kaylee’s eyes flew up to meet her mother’s. “Don’t blame yourself for Dad’s behavior. You tried to make things better and fought hard to make us a family. Dad never wanted to change, and you finally found the courage to get us out of there.”
Lucy’s eyes welled with prideful tears.
“Dad was a jerk to you, Mom. You deserve to be happy. As far back as I can remember, he never made you happy. Honestly, I think we were both happiest when he wasn’t around.”
“How did you get so mature?” Lucy said, wiping at her eyes. “I forget you aren’t a little kid anymore. And far too perceptive for both our goods.”
Kaylee rolled her eyes at the compliment. She took a bite of the pancake she had been toying with. “Does Aidan make you happy?”
Lucy blushed. “I think he does,” she said quietly. “I think he could.”
“He’s a fun teacher.” Kaylee took another bite. “And these pancakes really are good.”
“We could use a good cook around here.” Lucy stabbed her fork into one of Kaylee’s bite-sized pieces. “Yum.”
Kaylee cut up another pancake. “So, how did this all start? You’re never at school. I only saw you talking to him at the Halloween dance.”
“There have been a few awkward moments at your school.” Lucy smiled.
“Oh?”
“Nothing scandalous,” Lucy said quickly. “I first met him at a pub before I knew he was your teacher.”
Kaylee looked up thoughtfully, searching her memories. Her mouth dropped open.
“He was the one-night stand!”
Lucy’s eyes widened. “How do you know that term? And––.”
Kaylee rolled her eyes. “I’m twelve, Mom; I know a lot of things that would probably shock you.”
True. Lucy also knew a lot of shocking things at that age.
“First clue? You didn’t come home that night,” Kaylee continued. “It was like our third night in Dublin, and we shared a room, remember?”
“I thought you were having a sleepover in Lola’s room?”
“We did. “ Kaylee nodded. “But Aunt Abbey came home without you. I got up around five to pee; you still weren’t home.”
Holding her hands up in surrender, Lucy said, “In my defense, if I had known he was your teacher, I would have run in the opposite direction. I honestly thought I would never see him again.”
Kaylee burst out laughing, covering her mouth to hide the chewed-up food. “How did you find out?”
Lucy ducked her head. “Parent-teacher meeting. I walked through the door and saw him sitting there. I nearly wet myself.”
Kaylee doubled over in laughter, wiping away the tears streaming down her face. She clutched the counter to keep from falling off her stool.
“I made such a fool of myself,” Lucy said, joining the laughter and acting out her actions from that day. “I was pacing and stuttering and acting like a trapped bird. It was so embarrassing.”
“I wish I could have seen it,” Kaylee said between gasps of air. “It was probably similar to the reaction I had, walking in this morning and seeing my teacher half-naked, making out with my mom.”
Lucy put her head in her hands. “So awkward.”
They were both laughing now, wiping tears from their eyes.
After a few minutes, Lucy regained her composure and turned serious. “Kaylee, I hope you know you are the most important thing in the world to me. I never want to hurt you or put you in an uncomfortable situation. This thing with Aidan, if it’s too weird––.“
Kaylee cut her off. “You deserve to be happy, Mom. It is weird, but I like Aidan. He’s only my teacher for a few more months. As long as we don’t have to announce your dating status to the class, and you aren’t making out in the yard, it’s fine.”
Lucy laughed. “I won’t make it awkward. Aidan and I are still figuring things out, but we’ll do that far away from your school.”
“Mom, I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but thanks for bringing us here.”
Lucy smiled across at her daughter. “You’re happy enough? I feel guilty for taking you away from your friends and grandma.”
“I was unsure at first and pretty scared,” Kaylee admitted. “But I think it’s better for both of us. You needed Aunt Abbey and Uncle Rob; I haven’t seen you laugh like you do with them in a long time. And the kids here are all nice and friendly; I’ve already made new friends. It feels like home, like we’ve always lived here.”
Lucy nodded. “I feel the same.”
“I love this apartment, too,” Kaylee added. “It’s the first time we’ve had a space all to ourselves. I’m not worried Dad will walk through the door unannounced and ruin everything.”
Lucy’s stomach rolled; she didn’t know Kaylee dreaded Jeremy’s presence about as much as he dreaded being a father.
“I feel safe here,” Kaylee continued. “I’m not afraid something bad will happen or scared to go to school. And I love that Lola is close by. We can yell off the balcony to each other.”
Lucy laughed as she pictured the two girls carrying on a conversation for the whole neighborhood to hear.
Kaylee pushed up from the table and carried her plate toward the sink. “You should figure things out with Aidan. He’s a great catch. He can cook, he’s funny, not bad on the eyes, and he’d be a great stepdad.”
Lucy’s jaw dropped. “Let’s not rush things.”
Kaylee gave her mom a side hug. “It’ll be weird seeing him hanging out here and having his stuff around, but I’ll get used to it.”
“That means a lot to me,” Lucy said. “You’re old enough to understand how the world works, and I want to include you in mine. Remember, your wants and needs will always come first no matter what, so talk to me if things get too awkward.”
“Deal.” Kaylee headed toward her room. “Just remember the walls are thin, so keep it down in there.”
“Kaylee!” Lucy brought a hand to her chest.
Kaylee burst into a fit of giggles and walked into her room.
Lucy turned to the sink and began cleaning up. As much as she had dreaded that conversation with Kaylee, she was glad to finally share her news. Lucy had always tried to communicate openly with her daughter; it was a bond she never had with her mother.
There were so many things she had yet to teach Kaylee in the hopes of steering her onto a more healthy path. From here on out, she would try harder to protect Kaylee from life’s struggles, and, if she were lucky, together, they would break the cycle of self-inflicted pain.
One day, in the not-so-distant future, Lucy would share all the horrid stories from her past with Kaylee. From growing up with absent parents to her relationship with Jeremy, Kaylee should know and learn from these stories.
For now, Lucy was ready to start down a new path. It was time to take a chance on love and plunge into a healthy relationship, one where the man and woman love and trust each other equally. Lucy had never experienced that kind of connection before, and although she had no idea what to expect, she was ready to find out.