Chapter 4 #2
“Nothing,” I said. “There is absolutely nothing wrong. Everything is so unbelievably perfect.”
And I meant that. Every word of it.
But he frowned, skeptical.
“You were spaced out a second ago. If we’re moving too fast—”
“No,” I cut in. Gripping his forearm, I pulled him closer. “No, it’s not too fast. It’s wonderful. I promise. But…we do need to talk.”
“Ah,” he said. “That sounds serious.”
I sighed, trying to quell the sudden resurgence of anxiety boiling in my belly like angry bees. I preferred the heady buzz of desire that Ironside had filled me with a moment ago.
“It’s just…kissing tends to lead to other things,” I said. “Like sex. Which is complicated.”
Ironside arched an eyebrow.
“If you don’t want to sleep together on the first date, you can just say so, petal. It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not that…” I trailed off and shook my head.
God, why did this conversation never get any easier no matter how many times I had it?
“I have a condition. It makes penetrative sex difficult—sometimes even possible—because of tightness and pain. I’ve tried my best to manage it over the years, but it’s still an issue. And it tends to kill the mood.”
Ironside made a thoughtful noise.
“Is that why you were so nervous?”
“Part of it,” I admitted. “I mean, I really haven’t been on a date in a few years, so I’m a little rusty. And it doesn’t exactly go over well when I tell my dates about my…problem,” I added, fiddling with my napkin.
“You seemed to enjoy necking like horny teenagers though,” he pointed out.
I barked a laugh of surprise, then immediately clamped a hand over my mouth, mortified at how loud I’d been.
Ironside’s eyes gleamed as he shifted closer, caging me against the wall with his body.
Surrounding me with his heat and his masculine scent and those eyes that were quickly turning my panties into a sopping mess.
“I did enjoy that,” I said, barely above a whisper. “I enjoyed it very, very much.”
“If you're agreeable to it,” Ironside mused. “I'm interested to discover what else you like.”
He brushed his knuckles down my arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Then he inched the hem of my skirt up, exposing my knees. My heart leaped into my throat and I bit the inside of my cheek as he trailed one fingertip lazily along the inside of my thigh.
“Are you going to find out?” I said softly.
A small smile flickered across his lips.
“That depends.”
“On what?” I asked.
“When you say sex is painful, does that mean you’ve never done…anything at all? Is this your first time being touched by a man?”
I glanced away. Another aspect of this conversation that I dreaded.
“Technically, I’m a virgin,” I replied. “But I’ve done other things. And no, this isn’t the first time I’ve been touched by a man.”
Although it was certainly the first time a man had taken my breath away like this.
For some men, the fact that I was an adult virgin was a dealbreaker. They didn’t want to be with a woman who had no experience and didn’t know what she was doing. To rub salt in the wound, there was no guarantee that I could ever have sex in the first place.
So, dating me appeared to be a no-win situation in their eyes.
I found myself tense, waiting for Ironside’s response. He was older than me by a significant margin. Would he bail now that he knew I’d never had sex before?
“Why are you looking at me like that, Lena?” Ironside said.
I swallowed hard.
“I’m—I’m waiting for you to leave,” I whispered.
His eyebrows shot up with a noise of disbelief. He slid his palm higher up my thigh, his touch warm and strong, grounding me, comforting me.
“Leave? Why on earth would I leave when we’re just getting started?”
“But—”
I broke off, searching his face.
“But what?” he prompted.
A beat of silence filled the air between us. I couldn’t bear to look at him, to see that earnestness in his eyes.
“It’s embarrassing,” I confessed, so quietly and so pained. “Everyone I know lost their virginity in high school. But here I am at thirty-two years old with my V-card still intact, and I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to change that.”
Ironside cupped my chin and tilted my head to meet his eyes.
“Don't force your body to suffer pain just to fit in, petal. My first time was a shitshow because I caved to peer pressure at fifteen. I wasn’t ready. She wasn’t actually into me.
But we were too impatient and we just wanted to get it over with, because that’s what everyone around us said we should do. I don’t recommend it.”
“But you have no idea how many people think I’m weird for still being a virgin at this age, Ironside,” I replied.
He shrugged.
“Tell them to go fuck themselves. It’s none of their goddamn business. It’s your body, your timing, your choice.”
Holy hell. That response just made him a thousand times hotter in my eyes. If that was even possible.
Ironside took my hand and pressed a kiss to my inner wrist. Then another kiss further up my arm. And another to my shoulder.
“There are plenty of ways we can get each other off, petal. Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good. If it doesn’t, then we keep messing around until we find what works for us. All right?”
It sounded too good to be true. It sounded like a dream. I waited nearly a full minute while his words sank in.
“You’re not…disappointed?”
Ironside blinked with confusion.
“Why would I be? I get to have dinner with a beautiful woman over a glass of wine while we feel each other up. I asked you out because I like you, Lena, and I want to get to know you. If you thought your condition would scare me off, you’ll have to try harder than that.”
My throat tightened and my eyes burned with tears of relief. I usually left my dates feeling broken, unwanted, undesirable. But not with Ironside. I blew out a breath, trying not to cry so I didn’t ruin my mascara.
Ironside cupped the back of my head and kissed my temple.
“What did you expect me to say, sweetheart? Did you really think I would dump a pretty little thing like you just because you need to be handled with a bit more care and attention?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “Something like that.”
“Oh, petal.” He sighed. “What kind of douchebags have you been dating?”
I managed a wet laugh, letting myself sink into his touch. It felt so good to be held.
“You’re with a real man now, petal,” Ironside added softly. “Let me prove it to you.”
He shifted our position in the booth until I was nestled against his shoulder.
Inching my skirt up, he slid his hand between my thighs.
My creamy skin was a stark contrast to the dark ink of his tattooed forearm and the flex of corded muscles.
Slowly, he stroked one fingertip along the length of my pussy, circling my cloth-covered clit.
I dug my nails into his biceps, scanning the restaurant to see if anyone noticed. But nobody even glanced our way.
“Good girl,” Ironside rumbled. “Stay quiet for me. Don’t get us kicked out, yeah?”
With a quick nod, I pressed myself against him, spreading my thighs for more. He hooked my panties to the side and pressed his rough, callused fingers to my clit.
I buried my face against his shoulder, carefully rolling my hips against his hand.
“Is this okay?” Ironside asked.
I nodded again, too overwhelmed to speak.
Then the waiter returned to take our order.
I gripped Ironside’s wrist and froze. But he kept his hand there as he spoke to the waiter.
He continued to circle his finger around my clit, again and again.
Dipping down to the left and right, mapping every sensitive area that made my breath catch in my throat.
Despite how wet I was getting, Ironside never tried to insert his finger inside me. So I didn’t feel pressured to loosen up if I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have to battle with the worry that I might be too tight for any kind of penetration.
This was purely for my pleasure.
At last, the waiter was gone. And Ironside returned his gaze to me.
My thighs were shaking now. My breathing fluttered shallow and fast. I would have never dreamed of doing this with anyone else.
He flicked and teased my clit until I couldn’t take it anymore. I squirmed like a fish on a hook, but he sat there with control and composure.
“Ironside, please—” I rasped.
A sly grin crossed his face.
“Use your words, petal.”
I glared at him.
“You know what I want.”
“Say it,” he crooned.
I gritted my teeth and flicked another glance at the restaurant.
“I need to come. Please—make me come—”
The words were barely out of my mouth when Ironside was on me. He sealed his mouth to mine and pinched my clit with a sweet sting of burning ecstasy.
I whimpered into his mouth, delirious as I tipped over the edge. I twisted my fingers into his shirt, thighs clamped tight around his wrist. Fighting for my life to stay quiet so I didn’t shout his name to the rafters.
At last, Ironside broke away, but he used his body as a shield to block me from view while I regained my composure. I blinked up at him through the stars of pleasure whirling across my vision.
“Like I said, there’s more than one way to get each other off, sweetheart. And I’m just getting started.”
This was officially the best first date of my life.