Chapter 5
Chapter five
Ironside
The clubhouse was humming with excitement to greet Theadora “Dot” Gerard and welcome her into the family. Bikers clustered around Keely with little Dot bundled in her arms, sleeping soundly.
“Let me see,” Trooper said, shoving at Bruiser’s broad frame. “Your big head is in the way.”
“Stop pushing me,” Bruiser shot back. “She’s your niece. You get to see her all the time.”
“If you two don’t quit squabbling,” Pretty Boy said. “I’m kicking both of you out of here for disturbing the peace.”
Trooper gave Bruiser one last shove, but Bruiser's bulky body didn’t even budge. Trooper stood on tiptoe, attempting to peer over Bruiser’s shoulder instead.
“She’s named after me,” he said proudly. “I’ll be teaching her everything I know.”
Tarzan snorted.
“Well, that shouldn’t take long. Everything you know could fit into a goddamn walnut, little brother.”
“Fuck off,” Trooper said lightly, unfazed by his big brother’s teasing. “Baby Dot here is going to run circles around you by the time she’s six years old, mark my words.”
Tarzan heaved a sigh.
“You’re probably right. God help me.”
This place was a madhouse on Friday and Saturday nights, with rowdy, drunken bikers and the jukebox cranking out tunes at full volume. But on a Monday afternoon, closed to outsiders for the day, it was a quiet, peaceful sanctuary, tucked away from the rest of the world.
“Stop ogling the ladies and give them some room to breathe, boys,” I declared.
They scattered while I waded through them, bringing a cup of herbal tea to Keely.
“How are you holding up, Mama?” I asked.
She smiled, adjusting the dozing baby in her arms to accept the tea.
“Tired, but happy. Dot is the sweetest little blessing.”
Hooking a finger into the blanket, I pulled it aside to get a better look. Dot’s skin was flawlessly smooth, and her tiny mouth formed a perfect O when she yawned.
A knot tightened in my chest at the sight of her.
Twenty-five years ago, I had been so certain that I would become a father one day.
Raising a small herd of kids with Denise.
Changing diapers, filling my cabinets with jars of baby food, and tripping over toys in the dark.
Watching them grow up right before my eyes and wondering what happened to that little baby I brought home from the hospital when they got their driver’s license at sixteen.
But that dream shattered when I found Denise’s note on my bedside table.
Over the years, I watched my club brothers get married and start families of their own.
Meanwhile, other brothers remained single like me.
Bruiser, for example. He was close to my age, still single, never married.
Balancing the club and a family was damned difficult, and it didn’t work out for everyone.
“Do you want to hold her?” Keely offered.
I balked, shaking my head.
“Oh, that’s not…I shouldn’t. I can get Tarzan for you…”
My words trailed off, searching the room for Keely’s husband. But he was busy with their son, Kenny, mopping up the juice that had spilled onto the front of his shirt.
When Hades and Jenny had their two kids, I made up excuses to avoid holding them, too. I didn’t know what to do with a living creature that small, that fragile.
I’m an outlaw biker and a bachelor. I'm clueless when it comes to babies.
But deep down, I was scared. Scared to hold a child and feel that unfulfilled longing to be a father rise up again.
“Please?” Keely pressed. “I have to pee. Again.”
Well, I didn’t have an excuse to counter that. So, Keely transferred Dot into my arms. I stood there, holding my breath, hoping and praying she didn’t wake up and start wailing as soon as she took one look at my grizzled face.
But Dot simply nuzzled against my chest and blinked at me with a sleepy squint.
Keely patted my shoulder.
“See? You’re a natural. I’ll be right back.”
Then she hurried down the corridor to the restrooms and out of sight. Dot grasped at my cut with her little fist. I offered my finger to cling to instead. She latched on, staring up at me.
No wonder Keely was so enamored with Dot. I could stay like this for hours, just gazing at her, studying her fingers and toes, her eyes, her little nose, her wispy golden curls that she inherited from her father.
After a minute or two, I became aware of voices nearby, and my ears pricked up when I heard my name.
“Look at him.”
“I know. He’s taking on the role of Grandpa Ironside like he was born to it.”
“That little girl will have the old man wrapped around her finger in no time.”
“Can you imagine what a cranky bastard he’ll be when she starts dating?”
“Oh, he’s going to scare the piss out of every boy she ever brings home.”
Without making any sudden movements so I didn’t disturb Dot, I slowly turned to find out who was speaking. Trooper, Hades, and Brass stood off to one side of the clubhouse, watching me with amusement.
A few months ago, those smug assholes had placed bets that I would be the next one in the club to get married or remain a bachelor for the rest of my days. Trooper, especially, seemed to be overly confident in his declaration that I would find a wife soon.
Never mind the fact that I hadn’t entertained a serious relationship since Denise, over two decades ago. Pesky facts like that didn’t matter when Trooper was so cock-sure of himself that he was right.
“Hey, Jenny,” Brass called, beckoning to her. “Ironside is a captive audience at the moment. He can’t escape because an itty bitty Dot is pinning him down. Why don’t you tell him about that lovely lady that you want him to meet?”
“Bastard,” I grumbled under my breath.
He knew damn well that Jenny and Keely had been trying to set me up on a blind date for weeks. And I had been doing everything in my power to avoid it.
Jenny rummaged around in her giant floral purse until she found her phone.
“Oh, Reuben, she’s perfect for you. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.”
Brass and Trooper snickered. Hades wasn’t paying attention though. He was entirely focused on Jenny, watching as she crossed the clubhouse to join me. Judging by the scathing look she briefly directed at him, things were still frosty after their fight a few days ago.
Jenny turned her phone to me, playing matchmaker, rambling about all the qualities of this attractive middle-aged woman and how we would be a perfect fit.
But I didn’t hear a word of it.
The only woman I was interested in was Lena. And I couldn’t stop replaying our date in my mind. The way she shuddered and fell apart for me. The sweetness of her moan on my tongue when she came.
“You’re not even looking,” Jenny protested.
“Nope,” I replied, stroking Dot’s cheek with one finger. “I appreciate the effort, Jenny—I really do. But I’ll know the right woman when I see her.”
Jenny made a skeptical noise and smoothed Dot’s wispy curls back from her forehead.
“I’m convinced that you keep your eyes firmly shut, so you never see her in the first place.”
The memory of Lena’s shining gaze and soft smile filled my mind.
I saw her in that flower shop. And I saw her in that restaurant two nights ago, when she told me about her condition, when she expected me to leave just like every other man who had abandoned her before.
“Wait a minute,” Jenny said, searching my face. “You’re…smiling. Have you already met someone?”
Shit. Caught red-handed.
Brass, Trooper, and Hades leaned forward with interest, eager to hear my response.
At that moment, Keely finally returned, and I was saved from giving an answer. With some small twinge of disappointment, I relinquished Dot back into her mother’s arms.
But Jenny wasn’t prepared to give up that easily. Like a dog with a bone, she pursued me as I fled into the kitchen, looking for coffee. Or a stiff drink, even though it wasn’t noon yet.
“I know where you live, Reuben,” Jenny quipped. “You can’t run from me forever. I know that smile and what it means. You’re in love. Who is she?”
“Keep your voice down, woman,” I growled, turning to face her. “Don’t rat me out to my whole club.”
She gripped my forearm, beaming with excitement. I sighed. At least she wasn’t throwing things at Hades anymore. So I took that as a win.
“I promise, I won’t tell a living soul," she insisted. "But I need details immediately. Is she pretty? What is she like? Have I met her before? Is it someone I know?”
“Jesus Christ, Jenny, I can’t get a word in edge wise here.”
She bit her lip, looking apologetic.
“I’m listening. Go on.”
I hedged for a moment, debating how much to tell. Lena and I had only been on one date so far. Everything was still so new. And as much as I liked spending time with her, there was still a tug of doubt in the back of my mind.
What if I was wrong again? What if I fell just as hard for Lena as I did for Denise twenty-five years ago?
“She’s…” I hesitated, searching for the right words.
She’s perfect. Smelling faintly of roses and lilacs and lavender. Soft strawberry blonde curls. Flushed skin and sparkling eyes. An endearing level of shyness that showed she wanted more when a strong hand was there to guide her into it.
“It’s still new,” I admitted. “That’s all I’m saying.”
“Oh, that’s so exciting,” Jenny said with a wistful note in her voice. “To feel that special spark with someone. To get all those butterflies in your stomach when you’re near them. It’s so thrilling to fall in love for the first time. Thrilling and nerve-racking and wonderful.”
I huffed a dry laugh and shook my head.
“Says the woman who hasn’t dated anyone except her ex-husband for years."
Jenny wrinkled her nose.
“I’ve thought about dating again.”
“Thinking about it and actually doing it are two totally different things, sweetheart,” I pointed out, retrieving a mug from the cabinet for coffee.
She waved me off.
“We’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you and your special lady.”
I pointed at her.
“Don’t go spreading gossip all over my club, Jenny. Keep your mouth shut.”
She folded her hands over her heart with solemn sincerity.
“I won’t tell a living soul. I swear.”
Except her ex-husband, of course. Despite their divorce, they were still practically attached at the hip. This little tiff they were having wouldn’t last long. Then Jenny would spill this juicy piece of news to Hades.
And I had no doubt in my mind that Jenny would tell Keely. They shared the bond of motherhood now. They could talk for hours about their husbands, their kids, married life, raising a family and keeping a home. There was no way that Jenny would keep something like this from Keely.
I rubbed my forehead as I realized the gossip wouldn’t stop there.
Lila. Jenny would definitely tell Lila.
As the founder’s daughter—and our new President’s Old Lady—Lila had a sixth sense when it came to sniffing out drama in the club. And Jenny adored her, taking Lila under her wing like a big sister.
Yep. Jenny would tell Lila in a heartbeat.
And if Lila knew, Shea would know instantly. Lila and Shea had been best friends since childhood. They told each other everything.
Fuck. This was quickly devolving into a domino chain, toppling out of control.
I rummaged around in the cabinets until I found a bottle of whiskey and poured a generous amount into my coffee. It was only a matter of time before the cat was out of the bag.
If I thought the teasing from my club was insufferable now, it was about to get much worse when they heard I had a lady in my life.
A lady I could see myself marrying one day. If I didn’t screw it up.