Chapter 9
Chapter nine
Ironside
I had barely let Lena in my front door before she started peeling the cut off my shoulders. When I took a breath to speak, she touched my lips.
“I know. It doesn’t touch the floor.”
She diligently draped it over one of the hooks on the coat rack by the door, along with the strap of her purse.
I threaded our fingers together, kissing the back of her hand.
For the past week, I wondered how she would settle in with my club and my lifestyle.
But she seemed to be adapting just fine.
Lena stepped closer, sliding her hands up my chest and around my neck.
“I’ve been practicing,” she whispered.
I curved my palms around her waist and down to cup her ass, pulling her curves flush against my body.
“Practicing what?”
She swallowed from a sudden bout of shyness.
“My physical therapist gave me these exercises to help me loosen up and make sex easier. And I have dilators—they ease the tightness. It just takes a while.”
I nodded, listening as she talked.
“Do you think that’s why I brought you here tonight, petal?”
“I mean…yes. Spending the night at your boyfriend’s house is probably going to lead to sex. At least, I hope it does anyway.”
I breathed a faint laugh, skimming my hands up and down her sides. My fingers grazed the zipper on the back of her dress and I gave it a playful tug, pulling it down a few inches.
“Boyfriend, huh? You make me sound like I’m twenty years younger.”
“And you make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world,” she replied.
I hummed against her lips as I kissed her.
“Because you are.”
I dragged the zipper all the way down, sliding the dress off her body until it pooled in a billow of fabric around her ankles. Lena toed her flats off and quickly unhooked her bra, letting it drop to the floor, too.
“Fuck,” I moaned as my gaze roamed over her. Drinking in every naked curve. “Lena…shit, I’d love nothing more than to be inside you right now.”
She shifted in place, twisting her fingers together. Even in the dim interior of my home, I could see the hopeful gleam in her green eyes.
But I remembered the pain she felt on that work table from inserting just one finger. Deep down, I was worried that Lena was pushing herself too fast, too far, and too hard, just to ensure that she wouldn’t lose me.
“Sweetheart, I invited you here because I want you in my life,” I said. “I want you to feel good and safe and happy in my home.”
“But I do,” she said with soft insistence. “That’s why I brought it up. You’re the only man that I feel safe enough to try to have sex with.”
She gripped my forearm, bare breasts brushing against my bicep. I blew out a breath, aching at how sweet and trusting she was. Those men she’d dated before were idiots to miss out on a gem like her.
“Okay,” I said. “We’ll give it a shot. But if it hurts, we stop. Don’t force it, all right?”
Lena smiled as bright as the sun, squeezing my arm tighter. Leading her through the house, I took her to my bedroom and turned on my bedside lamp. A muted glow washed over us, casting her strawberry blonde hair into shades of gold.
When I turned to face her, she lowered her gaze and unbuckled my belt, wrapping her fingers around my length.
“You have the prettiest cock,” she murmured.
A growl thundered deep in my chest, and I throbbed harder in her grip.
“Fuck, petal, you look as innocent as an angel, and then you say shit like that.”
She flicked a glance up at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I guess you bring out my wild side.”
Releasing my cock for a moment, Lena stripped off my shirt, gliding her soft, delicate hands over my chest, mapping my tattooed forearms. Her nail polish was an elegant lavender color this time, a mesmerizing contrast to my tanned, inked skin.
By now, my cock jutted out like a rod of steel, leaking precum. I gritted my teeth, willing my hot, racing blood to calm down. I needed to take things slow for Lena’s sake.
Reaching behind me, I pulled open the nightstand drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube stashed there. I pressed it into her hands as I kicked off my boots.
“You’re on top tonight, sweetheart,” I said. “You control the pace.”
Climbing onto the bed, I patted my lap, inviting her to take a seat. Lena clutched the bottle of lube tightly in both hands, her shoulders rising a little high. Taking her by the hips, I guided her to straddle me.
“Breathe, petal,” I whispered, kissing her jawline, mouthing at her tits. “Just breathe.”
Lena placed her hand on my chest, relaxing ever so slowly. I held out my palm, and she popped the lube cap, pouring a generous helping into my waiting hand. She watched as I slipped my lubed hand between her thighs, stroking her pussy.
“Look at me,” I said.
Lena dragged her gaze up to meet mine.
Then she gasped as I eased one finger in. Her brows pinched together and she bit her lower lip.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Not like it did before. It stings a little, but I’m all right. Keep going.”
I didn’t go any deeper, choosing to massage and tease the inch of her pussy that I’d already managed to reach. After a minute or two, Lena let out a low breath and angled her hips into my hands for more.
“That’s…that’s better. That’s good.”
I pressed in further, gliding up to my second knuckle. Lena wrapped her arm around my shoulders, rolling her hips with more eagerness now. A tentative smile touched her lips as the tightness of her pussy gradually began to ease.
“There you go,” I said. “That’s my girl.”
Lena blushed the prettiest shade of pink and her smile grew. She leaned into me, pebbled nipples pressed to my chest, pupils dark with arousal.
“More,” she said. “I want more.”
I pulled out and toyed with her clit for a few minutes first, watching her squirm in my lap and whine. Then I pressed two fingers inside her, and this time, the way Lena flinched was noticeable. She sucked in a sharp, hissing breath through her teeth.
“Too much?” I prompted.
Lena said nothing and her smile faltered. I pressed my thumb to her clit, hoping the extra stimulation would help. But her pussy was painfully tight and I could see it written all over her face.
“Lube,” I said. “Let’s try more lube, okay?”
She nodded, squeezing another portion of the liquid into my palm before I pressed into her again. I could feel Lena’s body tense, muscles trembling. She kept trying to move her hips, to find some angle that would help to ease the discomfort, but nothing seemed to work.
At last, she blew out a breath of frustration, turning her head away from me.
“Stop,” she said, strained.
I pulled out, locking my arms around her and crushing her to my chest. I smoothed her hair back from her forehead, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“Lena?” I said firmly. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head and buried her face in my shoulder. Her breathing hitched. I sighed and kissed the curve of her neck, sensing her frustration and disappointment.
“Why don’t we try on your back?” I offered.
Lena nodded with a sniff, swiping at her eyes.
“Yeah. Maybe that will work.”
Switching positions, she laid back against the pillows, while I settled between her legs.
I smoothed my palms up her inner thighs, circling her clit with my thumb.
I didn’t try to penetrate her right away, choosing instead to stroke her plump curves, pinching her nipples until she gasped and flushed red.
At last, I finally pushed two lubed-up fingers inside her.
Lena winced, eyes screwed shut tight, biting her lip. I didn’t move, giving her time to adjust. It wasn’t much of a stretch, but it clearly caused her pain. Leaning over her, I kissed my way up her body, tonguing at her nipples.
She managed a wobbly, brave smile, combing her fingers through my hair. But I could still feel the tension in her body. She wasn’t relaxing. The tightness was too much.
“What’s your safe word, petal?” I prompted.
Lena shook her head.
“No. I’m fine.”
“Lena,” I said sharply.
She blew out a breath, brows drawn together. She wanted to push herself through it. But I hated seeing her like this—frustrated with herself, tense, fighting to deal with the pain.
“I can’t,” Lena finally whispered.
Instantly, I pulled out and took the bottle of lube away from her, setting it on the nightstand. Tugging the sheets up around us, I nestled Lena into the curve of my body, enveloping her in my arms. She reached back, grazing her fingers along my cock that was still achingly hard.
“Don’t worry about that, petal,” I said, catching her wrist.
“But I like making you come.”
“Later. Not right now.”
Lena gave a little pouty huff and wiggled deeper into my arms.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against my bicep.
“No apologies, remember?”
“I know,” she sighed. “I just wish my body would work the way I want it to.”
I kissed the back of her neck, holding her tighter. Lena was here, in my bed, in my arms, in my home, and that’s all I cared about.
After a few minutes, Lena’s breathing evened out and her body grew soft as she slipped off into sleep. I kissed her bare shoulder, nuzzling into her neck while I breathed in the scent of her skin.
The next thing I knew, the glow of sunlight filtered through my blinds and slanted into my face. I squinted and turned away from the glare.
Then I noticed the absence of Lena’s warmth beside me. I put a hand out to find the sheets were cold and her side of the bed was empty.
“Lena?” I called.
Silence.
My heart lurched in my chest. Over twenty years ago, I woke up just like this, alone, with a note on my bedside table, and the woman I loved had disappeared.
Was I about to relive that hellish nightmare all over again with Lena?
“Oh, petal, don’t do this to me,” I mumbled under my breath.
Sweeping the sheets aside, I scrambled out of bed. Yanking on my jeans, I searched every inch of my cabin, calling Lena’s name.
Her clothes were gone, along with her purse.
Nausea boiled in my stomach. Digging my phone out of my back pocket, I willed myself to take a deep breath and calm down. Think clearly.
Maybe there was a perfectly reasonable explanation why she would sneak away in the morning before I woke up.
I didn’t know what that would be. But jumping to conclusions wouldn’t help.
Dialing Lena’s number, I waited while the phone rang and rang.
No answer.
I blew out a shaky breath, pinching the bridge of my nose. This couldn’t be happening. Not again.
“Fuck.”
The pit of dread in my stomach was growing bigger by the second. I kept calling Lena’s number over and over, silently begging her to pick up so we could talk. I just needed to hear her voice, to know for certain that she hadn’t walked out on me.
But there was no response.
I hurried to get dressed and grabbed my keys. Then I climbed on my bike, spitting gravel and churning up a cloud of dust in my rush to get to The Bellflower and find Lena.