Chapter 13
Fifteen Years Old
“God, I needed this,” Liv groans as she stretches out on her beach towel. We’re wearing matching hot pink bikinis with black polka dots. It’s the middle of the summer. Liv has a perfect tan, and her blond hair looks lighter than it does in the winter.
We’re both lying on our stomachs watching Ethan and Sam surf. Or try to surf. They haven’t figured out how to stay up on their boards yet.
My focus stays on Sam. He’s started developing muscles, and well, they are very nice to look at. His hair is short and looks spiky from the water. He is so cute, and I can’t seem to look away from him.
“Kat, who are you staring at?” Liv follows my gaze, “Oh, Sam. Wait, Sam? Are you crushing on Sam?” Her voice is high-pitched with shock.
I smack her arm lightly and look around us to ensure no one is listening. The last thing I want is for any of the group we're here with to go telling Sam that I have a crush on him.
Seeing that no one is close enough to overhear our conversation, I finally look at her. She's looking at me with impatience. “Yes,” I whisper to her. “I don’t know when it started, but look at him… he’s hot!”
“I guess it's kind of inevitable since he's always at your house.”
“Please don’t say anything. I would be so embarrassed. Oh my God, and if Ethan finds out? He would never stop teasing me about it.”
“Your secret is safe with me. Do you think you’ll try to get with him?”
“I don’t know.” I groan into my towel. “He’s Ethan’s best friend. Wouldn’t that be weird?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Anyway, who are you crushing on this summer?”
Liv looks at me, chewing the inside of her lip. “Actually, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Her voice is small and shaky. Liv is never nervous.
“What is it?” I try to have a reassuring tone.
“Well… I… I think that Emily is really pretty.” She quickly looks down at her hands. I follow her gaze and see that she’s wringing the towel. Liv likes Emily? Well, now that she says it, it makes perfect sense. I’ve always wondered if Liv was attracted to girls.
“Emily is so pretty, and she’s nice,” my voice relays the excitement I feel for Liv.
“Yeah?”
“Definitely.”
“I think I have a small crush on her. I think she likes boys so it wouldn’t work out.” She sighs and then rolls onto her back, blocking the sun with her arm. She peeks under her arm at me. “Want to get in the water?”
I jump up from my towel. “Let’s go.”
***
Present Day
I wake the next morning and groan at the realization it’s Monday. All I want to do is stay in bed and not face anything this world requires of me. I also know that I’ve been away from work for a week and I have to return to Columbia tonight.
I don’t know how I am going to leave my parents… and Sam, but I’m grateful that Liv and Talia will be there for me.
Since my trip home in August, I’ve been thinking a lot about moving back to Charleston. I spent two weeks just lounging around, hiking with Ethan, and going out on our parents’ boat.
I knew I was going to break up with Philip soon, and the time away from him allowed me to think through what I wanted. But when I got back to Columbia, it took me a while to break up with him. Philip is just one less reason to stay.
I haven’t talked to anyone about this because I don’t want the outside pressure. I’ve always paved my own path and did what I felt was best. I haven’t always made the best decisions, but I’ve always owned them. And this is one of those decisions I have to make on my own.
I stretch and see Liv curled up next to Talia, all three of us sharing my queen-size bed. The thought of the three of us crammed into this bed is comical, and I can’t resist the quiet laugh that shakes my body.
Not wanting to wake them, I slowly and quietly get out of bed, grab my phone, and slip out of my room.
I make it to the kitchen and see Mom at the round table, head down on her arms.
Sitting next to her, I put my arm around her shoulders. “Hey, Ma. Can I get you some coffee and breakfast?”
She sits up and looks at me, tear stains streaking her cheeks. My gut clenches at the sight. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
“I love you, Ma,” I say before quickly kissing her cheek and getting up to start making the coffee.
“Love you, too.”
I pull out pancake mix and breakfast sausage and get to work. While I’m cooking, Dad pads into the room and sits next to Mom.
“Hey, beautiful,” I hear him say. “How long have you been awake?” I don’t turn around, opting to give them a little privacy while I busy myself with breakfast.
“I’m not sure. I got out of bed around 5:00 a.m. I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“You could never disturb me, darling.” I see Dad kiss Mom’s cheek and rub her arm from the corner of my vision.
My parents have always been kind to each other. I’m sure they fought, but they never did it in front of us. I’ve always loved it when Dad calls Mom darling or when she calls him babe. They’ve been married for thirty-three years; I love that after all this time, they still clearly love each other.
Their relationship is probably the biggest reason I’ve never really gotten serious with any of the guys I’ve dated.
I want someone to love me with every fiber of their being, like I know my parents love each other. I want to know without a doubt that the person I am with will always be by my side and will always be a partner.
I’m not delusional; I know there will be tough times. I know we’ll have arguments and disagreements. I just want to know that even in those challenging moments, he isn’t going to just give up and walk away. Sometimes I wonder if I’m asking too much.
With the coffee ready, I pour three mugs, add creamer to mine and Mom’s before setting the mugs on the table. Mom doesn’t take as much cream as I do, but she also doesn't drink it black. Dad, on the other hand, does—it’s disgusting.
Turning back to the stove to continue cooking breakfast, Dad interrupts the silence, “Kat, what time are you heading to Columbia today?”
“I think I’ll leave around 3. I don’t want to get home too late.
” I chuckle a little. “I wish I could stay longer, but I have a hearing on Thursday that I need to spend some time preparing for. And I don’t know what else might have come in throughout the week that needs my attention.
I know my office is picking up the slack while I’m gone, but I still feel like I need to be there. ”
“We wish you could stay longer, too, Kat. But your mom and I understand you have responsibilities and a life to get back to. I’m just glad you’ve been here this week.”
“Me too, Dad.”
“I’ve also been glad to see you spending more time with Sam. You used to be so close.” I can tell Mom is trying to ask about Sam without actually asking.
“It’s been nice having him here.” I realize what I’ve said after it comes out, but I know it’s the truth. It has been nice having Sam around. “We’re going to get lunch before I leave.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. You both need each other.” I look at Mom, letting her words sink in.
Dad just gives me a knowing look. Yeah, yeah. You saw us holding hands.
Liv and Talia join us as I put the food onto the table, and we chat about the upcoming week as we eat. Dad asks a lot of questions about my hearing, and I’m grateful to have him listen to my ideas and offer me guidance. It’s one thing I know I’m going to miss about Ethan.