Chapter 45
I’m not sure when I fell asleep, but I wake up to the sun shining through the blinds. I roll over to find the bed empty; Liv must have gone to her bed after I finally fell asleep.
I see my phone on the bed next to me; the battery is dead. Getting out of bed, I locate my phone charger and plug the cord in. Climbing back under the covers, I plug my phone in and lie there, staring at the dark screen until it turns on.
Hey, I’m not sure what happened, but I feel like you’re upset.
Did I do something wrong?
I’m here if you want to talk.
Sleep well, my love.
I didn't mean to make him feel bad or to worry about me. I send him a quick message back.
I forgot to plug my phone in, and it died. I just woke up and didn’t see your messages until now.
I’m not upset with you. I think I was just feeling overstimulated from all the shopping and socializing yesterday.
His response is almost instantaneous.
I hope you slept well. I can’t wait to see you.
I can’t wait to see you.
Are you sure you’re ok?
Yeah. I’m sorry for worrying you. I love you.
I love you too. Have fun at brunch. Text me when you’re heading this way, ok?
Trying to lighten the mood, I message back:
Yes, Mother Hen.
I laugh to myself and wait for his response.
You love it.
I do love it. And you.
See you in a few hours!
Liv walks in and stops when she sees me watching her. “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake, so I was just trying to quietly check on you.”
“I just woke up a few minutes ago.” Liv’s expression is tight, concerned. “Thanks for last night, and sorry for basically freaking out.”
“Don’t ever apologize for that.” Liv’s words are soft, but she’s using her no-bullshit tone. “Kat, you’ve been through hell the last several months, and it’s ok to have ups and downs. No one expects you to be over it.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be over Ethan not being here.” My voice cracks, and I furiously wipe at the tears streaming down my face. “Sometimes it feels ok, and other times—I’m not sure how I’m supposed to continue living like it doesn’t matter. Like… like he didn’t matter. Like he doesn’t matter.”
Liv sits down on the bed next to me and holds my hand.
“I think that’s the problem, babe. You aren’t supposed to live like he doesn’t matter, but you are supposed to live.
Some days will be hard. Some hours, some minutes will feel like the world is crushing you.
It’s ok to take some time for yourself during those times.
And I am always here to talk or just listen. ”
“I know, Liv. Thank you.”
“No, I mean it. Even if you just want to call me while you cry. I’ll sit on the phone with you, so you don’t feel alone.
I’ll stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep, or while you go grocery shopping, or while you eat.
And I’ll drive to Charleston on the weekends, or you can come here if you feel like the condo is too suffocating. I’m here. Always.”
“How did I get so lucky having you as a friend?” I smile at her through my tears.
“I’m not even sure. But you must have done something to make the reincarnation gods happy in your last life.” She winks at me, and I laugh. “You ok, babe? Do you want to stay in, and we can make breakfast?”
I lean my head on her shoulder. “I’m ok. I think last night was just a poor combination of too much peopling and feeling overwhelmed about Ethan and Sam. I’d love to go to brunch if you and Talia are still up for it?”
“Definitely still up for it. But seriously, no pressure if you’d rather stay in.”
“No, let’s go.” I start to get out of bed. “But I want a shower before we do anything else.”
“Ok. Freshen up, and we’ll leave when you’re ready.” Liv hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. “Everything’s going to work out with Sam. Just remember to trust your heart, and don’t let your head get in the way too much.” I smile slightly at her words and watch her walk out.
***
Ihurry to get ready for the day and pack up my car before we go to brunch at one of our favorite places. I’m feeling better as we say our goodbyes, and I head back to Charleston. I spend the two-hour drive listening to music and singing along to my favorite songs.
I make it back to Charleston around 2:30 p.m., and Sam is waiting for me. I spot the pink tulips and white calla lilies, my favorites, on the counter. Dropping my bags by the front door, I immediately walk into his arms, letting his warmth seep into me.
We stand there in each other's embrace for several minutes when Sam whispers in my ear, “Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” His words are soft. He’s not accusing, just concerned.
I lean back and look into his face. Sam’s chocolate brown eyes are sad, distant, and he has small dark circles; I wonder if he didn’t sleep well.
I take a deep breath before responding, “I guess I just have bad days still with Ethan. I miss him, and being back in Columbia made me realize how much has changed over the last several months. It was overwhelming last night.”
He pulls me tight against him again and kisses my temple.
“I’ve been worried.” He kisses my temple again.
“I’ve felt some distance from you. I know you’re used to having Liv be the only person you go to.
I don’t want to push you to talk about things if you aren’t ready.
I just want you to know I am here, too. Whenever you want to talk. I’m here.”
I bury my face into his chest and tighten my grip around his waist. My body wracks with the sobs I can’t seem to contain. He runs his hand through my hair as his other hand tightens on my back.
I breathe in his cologne and let his pine and salty sea air scent calm me. “I know, Sam. I’m sorry I’ve been distant.” I step away from him. Sam reaches up and gently swipes away the tears remaining on my cheeks.
He picks up the flowers on the counter and hands them to me. They are already in a simple, clear cylindrical vase. “They’re beautiful,” I lean into them and breathe in their scent, “and smell so good!” I take the few steps over to the coffee table and set the flowers in the center.
“I’m glad you like them.” He walks over to my bags and picks them up with one hand. Walking towards me, he holds out his other hand, which I take, and Sam leads me into the bedroom we’ve been sharing.
Once inside the room, he places the bags on the floor, holding up the garment bag that carries my formal dress, and gives it a little shake.
“You gonna give me a little fashion show in this dress you picked out?” He gives me a confident smile that causes my core to clench in anticipation. I want that wicked mouth on me.
“Nope.” I smile innocently back. “You’re gonna have to be patient because I’m not showing you until the night of the party.”
He gives me a wounded look, and I laugh. “Hmmm. Well, I suppose I’ll have to find something else for us to do before our dinner reservation.” He walks over to the closet to hang up my dress.
“Dinner reservation?”
“Well, not a typical reservation. I hope you don’t mind, but I have no plans on sharing you with anyone else tonight.
I ordered food and scheduled it to be delivered at 5:30.
” Sam looks at me with some hesitancy before adding, “My plan was for you to give me a little fashion show, and then I planned to make good on my promise last night to fuck you until you couldn’t walk tomorrow. ”
I stand there stunned at how easily this man takes me from bawling to overheating so quickly.
He shrugs and fakes exasperation, “I suppose I’m just going to have to skip the seeing you in a pretty dress part and start with dessert first.” I feel the warmth spread through me at his words, and my core soaks in anticipation.
“Dessert?” It comes out breathless, almost a moan.
Sam doesn’t say anything, just gives me a meaningful look.
He walks to me, lifts me with ease, and slams his mouth to mine.
I wrap my legs around him and deepen the kiss.
He walks us over to our bed, breaking our kiss as he sets me down.
I groan in protest, and he chuckles. He looks at me, asking for permission.
I reach for the button on Sam’s jeans and begin tugging them down.
Finally getting them undone, they drop to the floor, where he steps out of them.
Sam tugs his T-shirt over his head and reaches for my shirt, pulling it over my head with ease.
I stand up and pull my leggings down. I step out of them as Sam’s gaze shifts to my bare bottom half.
“No panties?”
“Nope.” I pop the p and move back onto the bed.
Sam removes his boxer briefs so quickly that he almost trips over them. I quickly hide my laugh at his blunder.
He climbs over me on the bed and takes his time with his dessert.
By the time dinner arrives, I’m exhausted. My body aches in the best of ways, and I’m confident my legs will be shaking if I try to walk on them right now.
At the sound of the doorbell, I start to get up, but Sam motions for me to stay. He tugs on a pair of grey sweatpants and walks out to greet the delivery person. He comes back in carrying the food and two trays that look like they were made for eating in bed.
“You weren’t joking about ensuring I couldn’t walk after, huh?” My voice is incredulous.
“I never joke about sex, Kitty Kat.” The corners of his eyes crinkle as he gives me a mischievous smile that makes my body heat—ready for more.