19. Astrid
Chapter 19
Astrid
Theo opened the car door for me, and I hopped inside.
I watched him walk around the Range Rover, built with the same strength as the bulletproof vehicle he drove around town. After he started the engine and left his property, he moved his hand to my thigh so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
The moment felt like a dream, the two of us together out in the open, free of the past and optimistic about the future. It was the first time I’d really felt like his, and he felt like mine. My fingers moved between his, and I locked our fingers together.
He continued to drive with one hand on the wheel, calm when we sat in traffic, like he wasn’t in a rush. He didn’t tell me where we were headed. Just ordered me to get in the car. We could be going to lunch or going on a trip…it could be anything .
He left the outskirts of the city and drove a short distance into the countryside. I knew where he was headed when I saw the stone spires through the iron fence, when I felt the solemn quiet through the windows. He pulled through the gates then drove down the dirt road until he parked off to the side.
A cemetery.
The same cemetery where my parents were buried.
He got out of the car first, and it took me a moment before I had the courage to follow. When he came around to my side, he grabbed my hand and walked me up the path to where a fresh gravestone sat.
I could tell it was new because the engraving was so clear.
I read his name in the stone along with his birth date and his death day.
Bolton Mathias.
Sorrow burned as it traveled down my throat. Remorse. Regret. Relief. All of it at the same time.
Theo gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “In case you ever want to visit.”
I continued to stare at the tombstone. Noticed the way the dirt looked newly compacted, like he’d just been buried in the last few days. “You did this…”
“I want you to have the closure I’ve never had. ”
My relationship with Bolton had been glorious at the start. Spontaneous and romantic, and despite the way it ended, I knew he’d loved me deeply at one point. And I him. But it was hard to feel the loss after everything he’d done, the way he’d hurt me, the way he’d ripped my life apart. But I supposed there would always be a part of me that cared for him. “Theo…I don’t know what to say.”
“I never know what to say either.” He turned to me and kissed my hairline before he headed back to the Range Rover. “Take all the time you need.”
I felt cold when he was gone, even as I stood in the hot sun. I’d never forget the way Bolton’s blood splattered on me and the walls. The way my finger squeezed the trigger like my life depended on it. The way a chunk of his face flew off and hit the wall with a loud smack. It would haunt me for the rest of my life.
I hated what I’d done, but I hated him more for making me do it. “I’m sorry.”
Theo had been home with me for a couple days. The only time he wasn’t around was when he lifted in the gym, so I took that opportunity to call Axel.
He answered quickly. “Decided to come up for air, huh?”
I smirked at the question because our nights had burned white-hot. No amount of soreness could quench my desire. No amount of Theo could prompt fatigue. It was like an addiction, and the more I had, the more I wanted. “Just for a second.”
“Attagirl. So what can I do for you?”
“I feel so terrible for asking after everything you’ve done, but I wanted to know if you could help me with something.”
His carefree attitude disappeared. “Astrid, I’ve got your back for life. Tell me what you need.”
I’d been married to Bolton for years, and I never had this closeness with his brother. His brother tolerated me, but I never felt a sense of loyalty from him. And Theo and Axel weren’t even related. “You’re sweet.”
“He’s my boy. So, what’s up?”
“He took me to the cemetery where he buried Bolton.”
“Yeah, he mentioned that.”
“I didn’t expect Theo to honor him like that, not after what Bolton did.”
“I don’t think Theo did it for him, Astrid.”
He did it for me. “I want him to have the same.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want him to have his brother’s remains. ”
Axel was quiet for a while. “When Theo didn’t give you up, Bolton destroyed them.”
“I know that’s what he said, but I don’t believe him.”
“Why?”
“Those bones were the best leverage he had over Theo. He wasn’t the kind of man to throw away an opportunity.”
Axel was quiet for a moment as he considered what I’d said. “Do you know where they would be if they still existed?”
“Not exactly, but I have a good idea. He took me to the Brotherhood over the years. I know my way around there for the most part. I always heard the guys talk about a morgue downstairs.”
Axel didn’t say anything.
“I doubt it’s an actual morgue, but they must have a system to label the bodies they have. Bolton said a contract was only completed when the body was delivered to the buyer. So, there’s a chance Killian is still there.”
“Beau was the one who hired that hit. He’s in Paris.”
“But Bolton said he was still in possession of the bones…unless he was lying.”
“So you want me to go in there and check?”
“No. I want you to come with me. ”
Even through the phone, I could hear Axel’s unease.
“They’ll let me in. They don’t know I’m the one who…who killed him. I can say I’m there to get his things, and they won’t think anything of it.”
“And how will you explain me?”
“I can say you’re my cousin or something,” I said. “I would take Theo, but they know exactly who he is.”
“And I’m guessing Theo can’t know about this?”
“He would never let me do it, but I know how much this would mean to him.”
There was a long pause. “Yeah, I do too.”
“So, you’ll help me?”
“You don’t have to ask, Astrid.”
I felt bad for lying to Theo, but I lied straight to his face and said I was going to dinner with Scarlett.
I did drive to her place, but Axel was the one I was meeting, not her.
He met me by the door, dressed in jeans and a tee. He wasn’t armed with guns or a bulletproof vest. “Still want to do this?”
I nodded. “I think it’ll be okay. ”
Scarlett joined us and stepped into Axel’s side.
His arm slid around her waist. “It’ll be okay, baby.”
“Bolton knew Astrid was here,” she said. “They might recognize you, Axel.”
Axel didn’t say anything.
“I want Theo to get his brother back too,” she said. “But I don’t want to lose you in the process.”
“What if you wait outside?” I asked. “If I don’t come back within thirty minutes, then you call Theo?”
“It wouldn’t feel right letting you go in there alone,” he said as he rubbed Scarlett’s arm.
“They have no reason to harm me,” I said. “If anything, they might pity me. Now that he’s gone, there’s probably someone else in charge. Bolton’s war with Theo was always a personal vendetta, so I’m not sure why they would care.”
“True,” Axel said. “They have bigger fish to fry.”
“If I ask for Killian’s bones, they probably won’t even care. Just not sure if I can carry them.”
“Well, he’s been dead a while, so…” Axel didn’t elaborate. “I think you can manage it.”
“Then let me go in alone. I’ll text you if I can.”
Axel nodded before he kissed Scarlett. “See you in a bit, baby. ”
“Be careful.” She looked at Axel then at me. “Both of you.”
Axel parked at the curb and killed the engine. “You sure about this?”
I nodded.
“Just because he buried Bolton doesn’t make you obligated to do this.”
“I know, but I want to. Theo deserves peace.”
“You already give him peace, Astrid.”
I looked out the window at the sidewalk. “Give me thirty minutes.”
He gave a nod.
I left the car then approached the club. People were gathered outside, and the music was loud. They had no idea what lay underneath. I moved to the front, and no one stopped me from entering the hallway and going down the stairs to the basement entry.
The two bouncers were there, and they recognized me without saying a word. One of them opened the door for me, and I entered the Brotherhood, the underground bar with the topless waitresses. It was a night like any other, and the men didn’t seem to mourn their former leader .
The guys drank from the pints and laughed uproariously at the tables. Music played overhead. I expected to be interrogated or noticed, but they were so busy among themselves that no one even glanced at me.
Guess Axel could have joined me.
I crossed the room and entered the hallway that broke in two different directions. To the right were the bathrooms and the gun room and the private rooms where the guys fucked the waitresses and their whores. I’d never been to the left, so I went that way, exploring the hallways until I found the stairs.
There were a couple guys smoking in the hallway, and they looked me up and down when I came close.
“I think you’re lost, baby.” One guy leaned against the wall and let the cigar smoke leave his mouth.
“I don’t think I am.” I turned to the stairs and started to go down.
Behind me, I heard the guys talking to each other.
“That’s Bolton’s wife,” one of the guys said.
“It is?” the other whispered. “Why is she here?”
I didn’t hear what else was said because I’d reached the bottom of the stairs and descended farther underground. It was noticeably colder. The stone was like ice to the touch. Even if I wanted to call Axel for help, I doubted I had service .
I found a triage room, as far as I could tell, with the medical supplies on the counters and the medicines stored in the fridge. It was set up like an operating room so they could skip the hospital if they needed to.
I kept going, knowing I was headed in the right direction. Down the hallway was another room. I saw the line of metal cabinets along the wall, all big enough to fit a grown man. I approached the drawers and grabbed the first one to see what would happen when I pulled it. It immediately rolled forward with no effort, and I saw the open eyes of a man who was as pale as snow.
I gave a jump and quickly shut the drawer, haunted by those empty eyes that seemed to stare right at me. I dusted my hands on my top even though they were clean. Terror and disgust spread through me like tremors. “Alright, get your shit together.” I looked at the rest of the drawers and tried to figure out the names of the people inside. Some of them had names scribbled on the outside in rushed handwriting. Others had a notation of the payment of the contract, ranging from a hundred thousand to even a million. And some just had numbers.
I looked through all the names and didn’t see Killian’s anywhere. “There has to be a rhyme or reason to this.” I turned around and looked at the tables, hoping for a binder where the coordinating information would be written.
“Looking for something? ”
I turned at the voice, seeing one of the guys who had been upstairs, the one who had recognized me as Bolton’s wife. “I’m just grabbing some of his things.”
“In the morgue?” he asked incredulously. “His body ain’t here.”
I already knew it wasn’t. “I’m just tying up loose ends for him.”
“And what loose ends would be down here?” He came toward me and looked at the binder I’d just grabbed.
“He said he always delivered the body to the buyer,” I said. “But he failed to do that for one of his contracts. My husband was always a man of his word, so I want to fulfill that obligation for him.” It was a decent lie to make up on the spot. Hopefully it would be enough to make this guy mind his own business.
He seemed to buy it because he didn’t look suspicious. “Who are you looking for?”
“Killian Bianchi.”
He gave a slight nod in acknowledgment before he looked at the rows on the wall. “And who’s the buyer?”
It seemed like a test, a test I was about to pass. “Beau.”
Recognition moved across his face before he approached the cabinets. “This is him.” He tapped the drawer that had 500,000 written on it. He opened the drawer, which was at eye level for him. “You want a hand? ”
“Um…sure.”
He grabbed a leather duffel bag and unzipped it before he put on a pair of blue gloves. Then he reached inside and removed bones surrounded by clothes that were too baggy…because the body had decomposed.
I’d seen enough, so I quickly looked away.
He put all the bones and clothes inside then placed the boots on top. He zipped it up then carried it to the table. There was a distinct thud when he set it down, like it was quite heavy.
I suddenly felt sick because I remembered that Theo was a twin, so it would be like carrying Theo out of there.
“Sorry for your loss.” He said it without remorse, like he didn’t care for Bolton—or he was just a sociopath.
“Thanks.” I looked at the bag on the table.
“You want me to carry it out for you?” he asked.
“No,” I said quickly. “I’ve got it.” I took the bag before I provoked the guy’s anger. He seemed unpredictable, nice one moment then on edge the next. I forced myself to overcome the disdain I felt and grabbed the bag.
It was heavy. Really heavy. But I didn’t complain or look encumbered. I just walked out, focused on the exit, and hoped I’d never have to walk out of there again.
Axel was already outside the vehicle when I rounded the corner. He’d been leaning against the truck, his phone in his grip. When he spotted me and the bag, he hustled toward me. “Holy shit, you got it?” He relieved me of the bag and set it on the ground. “Turn on your flashlight.”
I pulled out my phone and pointed the light at the bag.
He opened it and looked inside.
“How will you know it’s him?”
“The brand of clothes. His pant size. Stuff like that.” He reached inside and examined one of the boots before he continued to look. Then he pulled out a black watch. He paused to study it like he recognized it. “Yeah, this is him.” He returned the watch and zipped up the bag.
“How are you sure? It’s just a black watch.”
He put the bag in the back of the truck. “Just trust me.”
Axel followed me to Theo’s house after I picked up my car, and we walked in together. He carried the duffel bag at his side then gently placed it on the rug in the foyer. I texted Theo and asked him to meet me downstairs.
My heart was beating so fast. I knew he would be pissed off when he learned what I’d done, but I hoped he would let it go when he realized he finally had what he’d wanted all along.
Theo appeared at the top of the stairs in nothing but his sweatpants. He descended the stairs quickly but leisurely, taking two steps at a time until he reached the bottom. His eyes shifted back and forth between us as the anger moved over his face. “What is this?”
Axel stepped back so I could take the lead.
Theo’s eyes shifted to me then looked down at the bag.
“Don’t be mad, okay?”
Theo stared at the bag, and his breaths started to deepen…like he already knew.
“I—I went to the Brotherhood and found Killian. I know Bolton told you he destroyed his bones, but he would never destroy any form of leverage. They were all busy and didn’t even notice me there. One of the guys helped me locate him in the drawers.”
Theo didn’t take his eyes off the bag, his breaths even deeper now.
“Axel was outside the whole time in case I needed help?—”
“You went in there by yourself?” He finally lifted his chin and looked at me. “After everything I did to get you back…”
“Please don’t be mad.”
“I love my brother, but he’s dead. I love you—and you’re still alive. ”
“It’s done,” I said. “I’m here, and everything is okay. Please let it go.”
He looked down at the duffel bag again. “I can’t believe you did this…”
I could.
“You don’t know it’s him, and I can’t check.” A thin sheen moved over his eyes, but when he blinked, it was gone.
“It’s him,” Axel said, coming back into the conversation.
Theo shifted his gaze to Axel.
Axel came forward, unzipped the top, and then pulled out the black watch. He held it out to Theo.
Theo stared at it but didn’t take it.
I didn’t know why the watch was so significant, not when it looked like any other watch I’d ever seen.
Theo stared before he finally took it. He held it for a while before he turned it over.
Engraved in the back were the words:
Happy Birthday, Asshole.
Theo sucked in a harsh breath, and his eyes watered more than they had before.
“I’m sorry, man,” Axel said. “But at least…at least you have him back. ”
Theo just looked at the watch, trying his hardest not to cry. Then he unclasped the watch he always wore, stuffed it into his pocket, and put on his brother’s watch. He stared at the face for a long time, until his breaths returned to normal, and then he looked at me again.
But now, he wasn’t angry. “Thank you.”
“I hope this brings you peace.”
His eyes remained on me, looking at me harder than he ever had before. “It does.”