CHAPTER 38
“How is she?” I ask Evie when she storms out of Millie’s room. I’ve paced the hall waiting for an update.
She stabs in the direction of her bedroom, stomping past me. Following my cousin, she slams the door behind me. Leaning against it, she folds her arms across her chest. “Fake dating, Bennett? Really?”
“You guys weren’t giving up,” I defend myself. “It was the only solution I could think of.”
“First of all, grow a pair. You don’t need to turn to childish schemes to get us to back off.” Her hands wave all over the place, animated as she speaks. “Second, my best friend? Out of anyone, you target my best friend? She’s like a sister to me and you hurt her!”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her. And the reason I asked Millie is because I genuinely like her. The night I went out dancing was pure torture. I couldn’t stomach pretending with anyone else.”
“Not a good enough reason.”
“I felt backed into a corner and like I was out of options. I’m sorry we lied to you, really I am. But right now, I’m more concerned about losing the one person who’s made me feel seen and alive since Jen. Will you help me?”
She punches my arm. Hard.
“Ow!” I say, rubbing the spot.
She puts her finger right in my face. “If it were anyone else, the answer would be no. Because it’s Mils, and I love her, despite being mad at you both right now, yes I will help you. But if you do anything else to hurt her, you’re dead. Got it?”
“I got it.” Going to Evie’s bed, I sink onto it, covering my face with my hands. “My words got messed up.” Dropping my hands to my lap, I look Evie in the eyes so she can see I’m telling the truth. “I meant to tell Millie that was how I liked to be kissed, not that she knew that was how I liked it. Two little words and I’ve crushed Millie. How will she ever forgive me or trust me when I say I’m not thinking about Jen? Because I wasn’t. Millie was the only thing on my mind. I promise, Evs. I like her a lot. I didn’t mean to mess this up. What do I do? How do I fix this?”
I can’t believe I screwed up again. At least Millie’s alive. But I may as well be dead. This heaviness in my chest is more than I can bear. Another hope and dream of mine blown to smithereens. Will I ever get another chance at love?
“You’re absolutely, one hundred percent positive you didn’t think Millie was Jen?”
I cross the room, taking Evie’s palms into my own. “I swear to you, I didn’t. I need to fix this. She makes me laugh, Evie. She challenges, encourages, and supports me and wants the same things I do. She’s smart and beautiful. I can’t lose her.”
“I believe you.”
My shoulders sag in relief. “Thank you. Now, what do I do?”
“You’re going to have to wait until tomorrow, if not longer. She feels like you used her, which is what all the other morons she’s dated have done to her. Some distance and time are what she needs right now.”
Does Evs honestly think I can wait? I’m impatient. “Can’t I just say sorry? I don’t want her thinking I don’t love her.”
Evie shoves me. “You love her!?!”
I never thought I would after Jen, but being with her almost all day, every day, she wormed her way into my heart and won me over. Now when I think of Millie, my heart is full of sunshine and peace. Happiness and joy. When I wake up, she’s the first thing on my mind and the last thing when I fall asleep. Her dreams are now my dreams. “I know it seems fast, but I was clinging on to Jen too hard to see what was right in front of me. But, yeah, I do.”
“Holy freakin’ smokes.” She hugs me briefly, then pushes me away. She’s manhandling me a little too much. “But…” Evie shakes her hands out and paces the room. “Okay. This is huge. We have to get this apology right.”
“Duh. That’s what I’ve been saying.”
“What if you set up another picnic with all her favorite foods? That way she sees that you listened and knowher for who she is.”
“That could work.” But Millie’s had so little in life. I kind of want to go bigger. Except, Millie will probably get mad if I splurge. She doesn’t like me spending money on her. Ugh, I’m torn. “How upset would she be if we planned a surprise trip to Paris?”
“Save it for your honeymoon.”
Too bad. I had it all figured out. I’d ask Mom to pretend she needed to research something in France, and since Millie is her personal assistant, she’d have to go with her. When they got to the Eiffel Tower, I’d be there with my tweed jacket on and a bowl of grapes in hand.
But if Evie says that won’t work, what else would prove to Millie that she’s my number one? “Steph.”
“What?” Evie asks.
“We need to get her sister Steph here.”
Evie eyes me like I’m an idiot. “They’re not close.”
“Exactly, but Millie wishes they were. Let’s invite Steph up for a week. Millie can spend time with her, and I’ll head home to Amherst and work on my research I’ve been neglecting all summer. When things have calmed down, I’ll come back.”
“Are you sure leaving is a good idea?”
Nothing feels right and nothing will until Millie and I talk. But like Evie and Millie said, I need to give Mils space and time. As hard as it will be, that”s what I’ll do. For her. “Yes.”
“Okay. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“Here’s what I’m thinking…”