25. Chapter 25
Chapter twenty-five
Roman
I pull the zipper around, until it gets snagged on the lining of the bag and forces me to back track. “This stupid fucking—”
A knock on my front door cuts me off, but since I’m currently packing up my laptop, I can’t just look to see who it is.
Not having access to the camera feeds makes me feel naked.
I yank at the zipper, forcing it to close, before glancing down at the watch on my wrist. Shit.
I should already be leaving. I grab my bags and take them to the door with me.
Whoever is here is going to have to walk and talk at the same time. Whether they like it or not.
I glance down as I open the door, patting at my pockets.
I have my keycard, but where is my phon— oh yeah.
Just the key then. When I look back up, my entire body freezes.
The same crystal blue eyes that haunt my dreams night after night, they’re staring back at me.
Even my dreams don’t do them justice. Man, I’ve missed those.
“Umm, hey. Lance...” I mutter in confusion, my brain trying to run through every scenario, every possible reason he could be at my doorstep.
“Hi,” he replies bashfully. His cheeks turn bright pink as he turns to point over his shoulder. “You ready? I thought we could walk together since we’re going to the same place. I mean, if you want to. If not, I can totally go. I wasn’t trying to—”
“Lance,” I interrupt him with a smirk “I’d like that.”
“Yeah?” He asks as he turns back to look at me.
“Yeah,” I nod.
We’re both quiet for the entire walk to Maven’s office, and then the whole way to the dock.
I almost don’t mind it, aside from the tsunami of thoughts bombarding me.
I keep trying to piece together what happened the last few days to what’s happening now, and I just can’t connect the dots.
He was refusing to go on this mission in the first place, then I asked to talk to him, and he flat out refused.
He asked me to help him contact his brother, and even when I texted him about that, he still didn’t answer me.
He went to the bar with Cain last night, but that still doesn’t answer any of my questions.
Why did he show up at my door after ignoring me for so long?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining.
“How’s your friend?” He awkwardly asks as we dump our luggage in the sitting area on the yacht.
“Um, well… I haven’t talked to him since last night. He’s been going through something similar, so he’s been pretty busy lately.”
He squints his eyes like he’s trying to figure something out before he turns to start digging through his bag. “I think I’m gonna change clothes and go hangout by the pool to read for a little bit. Wanna come?”
“Erm,” I clear my throat nervously. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll see what I have to wear.”
Do I want to go sit out by the pool while I’m riding on a boat in the middle of the ocean? Absolutely not.
Am I going to do it anyway? You fucking bet.
I pace back and forth on the bow of the boat as Lance lays out on the lounger underneath an umbrella.
Why Maven has a mini yacht? Not a fucking clue.
I originally thought that we were taking the plane, but apparently I was mistaken.
Which is proving to be a pain in my ass, because it’s becoming clear very quickly that my body does not appreciate nautical traveling. At all.
“You’re going to make me seasick, Roman. Would you sit down?“ Lance demands as he raises a hand above his brow to block the sun as if he isn’t wearing sunglasses.
“I think you underestimate how difficult this is going to be, Lance. Maven is extremely diligent about security. If he even thinks that either of us are breaching it, he could completely void our contracts.”
Which makes no sense to me. I’m the eyes and ears of this place, and even if I wasn’t, it’s not like it’d take a genius to figure out that Lance has an agreement with Maven about his brother.
I might also be privy to the knowledge that his brother is supposed to be coming to Blightridge in two weeks.
Lance hasn’t seen him in how long? Why does he insist on talking to him now?
What is so important that it can’t wait until Gatlin is here? Why would he risk it now?
“And how exactly does he keep such a close eye on the security?” He asks as he pulls down his sunglasses to stare back at me.
Point made, you little shit.
“He would never expect you to breach the security, Roman. You are the security. This is what you do. You live and breathe this shit. I’m sure you can figure something out.“ He pushes the glasses up his nose and leans back against the chair without a worry in the world.
Even knowing that I hold all the power over what Maven sees and doesn’t see, I don’t feel any more confident in this stupid idea.
Do I have a plan? Of course, I do. Is it flawless?
Nothing ever is. Mistakes can still be made.
While the plan is pretty fucking simple, and should go off without a hitch, this is going to be my first time ever doing something that I know is against Maven’s rules, and my anxiety is through the roof.
Lance doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. His focus is entirely on reading.
“What are you reading?” I ask casually as I walk over and sit down on the lounger beside him. He glances at me out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the book.
“Romance,” he replies with a sigh as he drops the device in his lap to pull a cigarette from the pack in his jacket pocket. He’s been smoking way more than normal, and he usually only does it when he’s stressed, so it’s starting to concern me.
I glance at the page on the screen, and I immediately recognize the text, because it’s a book that I’ve read at least a dozen times. He promptly picks the device back up to start reading again.
“That’s one of my favorites,” I declare as I look up at him nervously. He relaxes his hand, letting it and the device plop down in his lap.
“Are you insinuating that you care at all about love?“ He asks playfully before taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Are you?” I retort back. Two can play at that game.
He stares back at me with a blank look on his face. “And if I am?”
I do a double take, noting that he looks awfully serious.
The way he’s looking at me, it’s a mixture of sympathy and curiosity that has my insides swimming.
I don’t understand what’s happening between us, but something is happening.
He raises a brow, challenging me to say something snarky back to him, but I’m floundering.
Totally fucking this up. Words aren’t wording.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m about five seconds away from hurling up my guts right now, or somethi— that’s gotta be it. I’m sick. That’s all.
“Cat got your tongue?” He asks with confidence as he pulls out his phone.
“I… um… you changed your mind?” I stammer out, like a complete idiot, as I scoot back on the lounger. I’m trying really fucking hard to be casual, but it clearly isn’t working.
He types out a message on his phone, smirking down at his screen.
He inhales one last time before snuffing out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table beside him.
As I watch him, I can’t help but wonder if he’s still just talking to one person on the app, or if he’s finally branched out and started talking to other people.
“Maybe,” he replies as he puts his phone down. “I’m researching it right now. Or trying to.“ He picks the device up and waves it back and forth at me.
“Researching? By reading romance novels?”
“Mhm…” he replies as he turns it back on and starts reading again.
It’s not hard to notice that he just wants me to leave him alone, but he can get over it for now.
I don’t even know if I can stand up without getting sick.
Boredom sets in as Lance starts reading again, so I get lost in thought.
When I peek up at him, Lance is staring at me blankly, like he’s dumbfounded.
“Yeah?” I ask nervously.
“Do you mind? You’re humming.” He asks as his eyes dart to his e-reader and back to me.
I don’t even think he was reading, but I fumble to appease him anyway.
You don’t have to tell me I’m pussy-whipped, or cock-whipped, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it.
I know. It’s just… it’s Lance, and now that I know what it’s like when he’s not around, I can very confidently say that I prefer it when he is around.
Am I being slightly more compliant than normal? Perhaps. I’m sick, dammit. Sue me.
“Oh… Sorry.”
“Yeah…” He replies, the word drawn out. He turns his attention back to his book almost wearily. My attention doesn’t stray from him though. He’s so easy to watch. If that wasn’t glaringly obvious by my complete lack of boundaries that have had me watching him day and night for months on end.
Something about Lance feels delicate. He’s like fine china in the form of a human.
Intricately designed with hidden facets interwoven between the obvious patterns.
He’s within reach, but so easily broken that one wrong move could shatter everything.
With him, certain things I can volley back and forth with ease, and some things seem to chip away at him over time.
It’s a delicate dance that I’m slowly figuring out.
I want to reach out and brush his wispy hair from his face, to touch his warm flesh. I want to run my fingers along his jawline until he looks up with those eyes the color of ice and then bend down and kiss his lips. I want to— wait…
I want to kiss Lance.