Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I peek behind the curtain and my stomach tenses. It’s the morning of my presentation at the Learning Annex, and seats are filling up with people holding glossy brochures from Live by Design. I wipe my hands on my suit pants.
“Nervous?” Belinda asks. She flew in just for this event, and while I’m grateful she’s here, it’s adding an extra layer of unexpected pressure.
“It’s a lot more people than I expected.”
“I may have made a few calls.” She smiles. “Don’t go overthinking everything. Look at all you’ve accomplished already: launching the office, training the staff. Now all we need are the clients. You’ve got this.”
I nod. Right. I’ve got this.
“Just picture them in their underwear. That’s what I do.” Belinda gives my shoulder a small squeeze and walks confidently onto the stage. The crowd hushes at her presence. She adjusts the microphone, and peeks to the side of the stage, giving me a little nod.
“Without further ado, the Learning Annex of Los Angeles is pleased to welcome Lauren Hart, speaking to us today about designing the life you desire through the help of a life coach.”
She claps delicately and backs away from the microphone, giving me a wink on her way off stage.
I step up to the clear podium to a collection of polite claps and clear my throat.
My palms are sweaty. It feels like I’m standing on someone else’s legs.
What did those public speaking meditation tapes say?
Regulate your breath to control your mind.
The people in the crowd are simply an extension of you, also made of stardust … or some such bullshit.
“How many of you feel like you’re caught in a riptide?
” I begin, my voice shaky. I clear my throat, raise my chin and speak louder.
“No matter how hard you kick, you keep getting sucked deeper into circumstances that are wrong for you.” I raise my own hand to encourage crowd interaction, and several other hands go up.
“Just like escaping a riptide, getting out necessitates designing a new path forward. Kicking where you are will only bring you further down. That’s where your life coach at Live by Design comes in. ”
I take a deep breath to center myself and get into it.
“Until recently, I was stagnant in my own life. Too stuck in my comfort zone to even realize I was drowning.” I search the faces of the people watching me, trying to make them understand. “I fell for my best friend and never told him. I was so afraid of losing him, I didn’t want to make waves.”
Heads gently nod in the audience. Some attendees are doing some serious note taking. I stand a little straighter.
“But by not telling him, not taking that first step and having that honest conversation, I was unable to move forward with my life. It took me way longer than necessary to learn that he wasn’t the right person for me.
“Swimming further out than you feel comfortable in life is scary, but so necessary if you want to escape your own riptide. I did. And the next time I fell in love, I didn’t make the same mistake. I told the person exactly how I felt.”
A hand goes up in the crowd, a petite woman in glasses who had been writing down my every word.
“Yes,” I say, calling on her. “You in front.”
“How did that go? The telling the next person you loved them.”
“Oh. Um, he rejected me,” I admit. “Said he couldn’t be the person I needed him to be.”
“But you’ve overcome that rejection and are stronger for it?” she urges.
“Yes.” And I’m not lying. “Because people will treat you only one way—how you let them. The next time love comes along, I’ll be clear about my needs from the start so my partner can meet them, and we can strengthen our relationship.
But the rejection part …” I shake my head.
“Well, let’s just say I’m still drinking a lot of wine in the bathtub. ”
Several knowing smiles radiate warmth from the crowd.
“And now it’s your turn,” I go on. “Who wants to be brave and tell us what riptide they’re caught in?”
Several shy hands go up.
One man stands.
He’s tall, with golden-tipped hair pulled back, hazel eyes, and tan, muscular arms, one of which is resting comfortably in a sling across his chest.
“I could use some coaching,” he says.
My mouth parts at the sight and sound of him, his voice reaching all the pleasure sensors in my brain. I have to close my eyes to process it all.
“Go ahead … sir,” I say, trying to play along, but the audience can tell something is up. They are looking back and forth with interest.
“My riptide is that I’m in love with a woman, and I may have blown it,” he says, his brows—one with a small translucent scar—creased.
“It was hard for me to believe I deserved someone like her. She’s beautiful and capable and smart, and extremely sexy.
” He gets lost in that last comment, forgetting where he is.
Then he looks around and clears his throat.
“She runs a medical device company that can diagnose diseases with a single drop of blood,” he tells the crowd. “You don’t know her.”
I roll my eyes and smile, and Danny looks back at me.
“I used to think my past behavior was my identity, but now I know the truth. And the truth is, I’m a good man. And I will be good to her, if she’ll have me.”
The crowd pings their eyes back to me, awaiting my response.
“My professional opinion,” I say slowly, “is that you should tell her how you feel.”
Danny side-steps to the aisle and walks up to the stage, standing directly in front of me. A ripple moves through the audience. Some people have clearly figured out who Danny is and have their phones out to sneak photos.
“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Danny asks.
“Sometimes you just have to take the risk,” I say softly.
Danny nods. He takes out a crumpled piece of paper and turns it toward me.
It’s his life goal map, from our first day working together.
There’s the familiar starting point, me with devil horns in a fiery cavern while a rough sketch of Danny miserably smells crayons.
Then the surprising sketch of his bread stand, overflowing with rustic loaves.
But new scenes fill the paper.
Us on a train, our heads tilted together, hands on each other’s bellies. Us on a bike ride, surrounded by the city. Us at a kitchen table with mixing bowls and wine glasses, a loaf of warm bread steaming between us. All colorful and connected.
And in the highest point near the corner, a sketch of him down on one knee, ring box in hand.
The crowd gasps as Danny sinks slowly down to one knee before me, flipping open a velvet box with his good hand.
A large cushion-cut solitaire glitters brilliantly in the overhead lights.
“Lauren, my heart has belonged to you from the night we met, and you followed me home from the bar with a bunch of bananas.”
I give a weak smile and shake my head no to my students. Don’t do that, guys. Do as I say, not as I do.
“I’ve always done what feels good in the moment.
But now, the only moments that feel good are the ones I spend with you.
” His hazel eyes hold mine. “You’re perfect for me, Lauren.
And if you’ll have me, I promise to spend the rest of my days proving I’m perfect for you.
And I won’t let you down. Will you marry me? ”
My heart beats rapidly beneath my fingers at my chest. Tears cloud my eyes, but my mind is crystal clear. “It would be my pleasure.”
I run down the stage steps to launch myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kiss him deeply.
Danny winces into my lips. “Easy, Theranos.”
“Oh, sorry,” I say, giving his healing arm some room.
“It’s OK. A little pain won’t kill me.”
Danny leans in to kiss me again.
“Wait,” I say, putting both hands on his chest. “I’m going to have to insist on a long engagement. Like, at least a full year. Maybe two, just to be sure.”
Danny grins. He slips the ring on my finger, and the stone glitters brightly on my hand. It feels so right, so natural, like it’s always been there. “How about, we do whatever feels good for you?”
My chest fills with warmth. I wrap my arms around his neck, my whole body buzzing with anticipation for the future we’ll share. One of discipline and of pleasure.
Enough pleasure for a hundred lifetimes.
We kiss as the Learning Annex crowd leaps from their seats bathing us in cheers. The last thing I see as my eyes close in sweet contentment is a sea of future clients signing up to live a life they design.