Mariah
Once again, Rosama left me in my house, making me feel like shit.
I screamed. I threw shit. I wanted to call his phone over and over, but I knew it wasn’t gonna do shit.
That nigga didn’t care about me.
I grabbed my phone and went to my couch and searched Nylah on Facebook. As I looked through her pictures, I was confused about what she had that I didn’t.
Yes, she was very pretty, and I knew she had money because her dresses were expensive, but what made him want her and not want to come back to me?
I kept looking through her pictures even though I knew I shouldn’t have because I started coming across pictures of her and Rosama.
They were on dates, inside each other's places. He looked so happy with her and had a smile on his face that I had never seen before.
It pissed me off, and I threw my phone as I let out another scream and started to cry.
“Why couldn’t he love me like that?” I said to myself. “Why can’t he just…love me?”
After crying for a while, I picked myself up off the couch and went upstairs to bed, where I stayed for three days, only coming downstairs to get food here and there while ignoring my phone ringing on the floor.
On the fourth day of me being in bed, I heard a knock at the door, and I exhaled.
“Who the fuck is it now?” I said, getting out of bed. “Another nigga coming to cuss me out.”
When I got downstairs to the door, I saw it was Courtney. I opened the door with whatever smile I was able to put on my face.
“Hey, girl,” I said, hoping she didn’t realize I looked a mess. “Wussup?”
Courtney looked me up and down. “Mariah, are you okay? I been trying to call you,” she said, walking inside. “The network been trying to call you, and…and you stink.”
I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the last thing she said.
“The network? Why, what is going on?”
“They sent me here to ask you to come in. They want to talk to you.”
I got nervous. Courtney didn’t look excited at all.
“Want to see me about what?” I asked.
She shook her head. “To be honest, Mariah, I don’t know if it is good or bad. I just need you to shower and get ready. They want you to ride with me.”
I nodded, and she took a seat on the couch and started to scroll on her phone while I headed upstairs.
In my room, I sat on the edge of my bed for a second, trying to pull myself together.
“Everything will be okay,” I said under my breath. “And if it’s not, give them hell.”
I stood back up and pulled out an all-black suit with black leather heels to go with it. I hurried up and took my shower, did my hair and makeup, and walked back downstairs to Courtney and picked my phone up off the floor.
While I was doing a final check in my entryway mirror, Courtney came and stood behind me.
“That’s what I'm talking about,” Courtney said with a smile. “You look good, and you smell even better.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what will come from this meeting, but I will tell you that I won’t take any shit in there.”
She nodded. “I already know, come on.”
We walked out of my house and got into the stretch limo that was outside waiting. On the way there, Courtney made a call and told them we were on the way and handled some other business while I stared at the window, focusing on my breathing and what I might say if I had to pop off.
When we got to the news station, my heart started to beat in my ears. It was crazy to me that I was walking into a place I used to love, feeling like it was about to tear me down.
I moved through the building with my black sunglasses on and a smile on my face, speaking to everybody in passing and just getting stares in return.
Once we got in the elevator and Courtney hit the button for the top floor, I let out my first breath since I set foot inside the building.
“It is going to be okay,” Courtney said softly. “You got this.”
I nodded just as the doors opened and exhaled.
“If you say so.”
We stepped off the elevator, and I took a seat in the waiting area while Courtney went and told them I was there.
A few minutes passed before she came to get me.
When she did, I said a little prayer, stood up, and followed her down what felt like the longest hallway in my life to the conference room.
Once we reached the closed door, Courtney placed her hand on the knob.
“Are you ready?”
I exhaled. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
She opened the door, and I walked in and turned up my bullshit.
“Good morning, you all. I hope you haven’t been waiting here long for me,” I said as I pulled the chair out to have a seat.
“We have been waiting here for you for some days now,” my boss, Mr. Green, stated.
I looked down the long table, with executives on each side staring me down as if I had taken their money or something.
“I am sorry. I have had a lot going on.”
“From what we have heard,” one of the executives said, “you have had a lot going on for some time now, and even shared some of this on the floor.”
I nodded. “Yes…I did have a tiny outburst, but Shyheim brought personal issues to work.”
“And so did you,” my boss said.
I leaned my arms on the table. “Listen, I know I have not been here the way I should have or needed to be, but I promise moving forward I am 100% committed to my job, and I will be back on air full time.”
The room went silent for a bit.
“Mariah,” my boss said. “I don’t think that we can move forward with you here.”
“What?!” I shouted. “Is this because of what Shyheim said? Because if it is—”
“Shyheim had concerns about you being at work for a while now, way before our last meeting with him. In all honesty, you haven’t been here. He has been building on-air chemistry with the standby, and the viewers are asking for you a lot less and her a lot more.”
I shook my head, thinking to myself that Shyheim knew what he was doing and had been planning since that day he asked me to lunch.
“I understand. I haven’t been at work. I was going through things in my marriage, and it messed me up mentally, but now I am better.
“From what we have gathered,” the executive chimed in again, “things with your marriage have not changed, and that is the reason for your most recent break from work, along with the outburst from you and Shyheim. At the end of the day, Mariah, we come here to work, not get paid for our marriage issues, not to sleep with our co-chair, then air personal business on the floor. We come here to work, and that’s something you haven’t been doing, and that is why right now we are deciding to move forward and end our relationship with you. ”
“But,” I said, low through tears. “Can I just be moved to a different time slot and not work with Shyheim?”
They all shook their heads.
“No,” my boss said. “Because you haven’t been showing up to work. Now we have instructed Courtney to clean out your dressing room, and your things are waiting for you in the limo to take you back home. I am so sorry, Mariah, and we wish you the best.”
At the same time, they all stood up and walked out of the conference room, leaving me sitting there alone with my tears.
Once I got myself together, I walked out of the conference room to find Courtney waiting for me at the elevator.
“Mariah, I am sorry. I wish I had never suggested that you go out with him.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. I guess now I can focus on me and some other things, and hopefully I can get another anchor job somewhere else.”
We got in the elevator, and she rode it down to the main floor and walked me outside.
“Do you want to cuss Shy out before you leave?”
I laughed. “No, trust, I will be seeing him. I’ma miss you,” I said, hugging Courtney.
“I’ma miss you too. Call me if you ever need me.”
I nodded and got into the limo, surrounded by all my things cramped into boxes, and it pulled off.
When we got to my house, the driver helped me carry my things in and left them on the floor by my front door. I don’t know what came over me, but once he left, I broke down and cried in front of all my things.
On one hand, I was losing my husband no matter how hard I was fighting. On the other hand, the man I thought was a friend made me lose my job, and now I was carrying his baby.
I felt so broken and didn’t have one friend I could call who wouldn’t tell me to just leave Rosama and get rid of the baby.
I knew it was all that simple, but I couldn’t bring myself to sign the papers, just like I didn’t think I would get rid of the baby.
I looked through my phone, trying to see who I could call to take my mind off the shit show I put my life on when I got a message from Shyheim.
Shyheim: I hope going against me was worth it. Good luck on your job hunt.
And just like that, Shyheim sealed his fate with me, just like Rosama did when he slept with Monica. I made up my mind right then to keep the baby just to get under his skin. I just needed to figure out how I was gonna do that and keep Rosama too.
Instead of continuing to mope, I ordered myself some food, continued to stalk Nylah online, and added Shy in as well.
I went to my office and printed the divorce papers, signed them, and tucked them away in a manila envelope. He didn’t have to be with me, but I was gonna fuck up his and Nylah's relationship for as long as I could.