Chapter 7 #2
Friends. After everything they'd been through, everything they'd shared, he wanted to be friends.
But looking at him… this man who'd been her hero, her first love, her safe place, Rachel knew she couldn't refuse him anything. Even this.
“Yes… we can make this work,” she whispered, hoping her vow wasn’t a lie.
Relief flooded Jack's face, followed quickly by guilt. He stepped forward and wrapped her in his arms one more time. Rachel let herself lean into him, memorizing the feel of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart against her ear.
This might be the last time. The thought made her chest cave in.
“I'm sorry. I had no idea how demanding the Academy would be,” he murmured into her hair. “I should have… I'm so sorry.”
“Me too.”
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were red-rimmed. He kissed her forehead, gentle and reverent.
Rachel whispered, “Can we have tonight? Please… just tonight before everything changes? Just to be together one last time until… until…”
Their gazes held, and he nodded as he cupped her face with his hands. Then he kissed her. Deeper. Hungrier. His fingers threaded through her hair as his mouth moved over hers with an intensity that stole her breath.
Her hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer. She poured everything she'd been feeling into the kiss. All the loneliness of the past months, all the longing, all the love she couldn't find words for.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Jack rested his forehead against hers. “Rachel,” he whispered, her name a prayer and a plea.
She didn't let herself think about what tomorrow might bring or how little time they had. Instead, she stood and held out her hand. “Come with me.”
His eyes darkened with understanding. He took her hand and let her lead him up the stairs to her room. The space was bathed in moonlight streaming through the blinds, casting silver shadows across the bed.
Rachel turned to face him, suddenly nervous despite everything they'd already shared. But when Jack reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, the nervousness faded.
“You're so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
His hands moved to the hem of her shirt, and he paused, waiting for permission. Rachel nodded, and he slowly lifted the fabric over her head, his fingers reverent as they traced the newly exposed skin. She shivered under his touch, not from cold but from the weight of his gaze.
Rachel's hands went to the bottom of his shirt, fumbling slightly in her eagerness.
Jack helped her, and soon, his shirt joined hers on the floor.
They undressed slowly, carefully, each piece of clothing landing in a disregarded pile.
There was no rush, no urgency. Just the two of them memorizing each other in the moonlight.
When nothing was left between them, Jack lifted Rachel into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down with such gentleness that tears pricked her eyes. Then he settled beside her, propping himself up on one elbow to look at her.
“I love you,” he said, his hand tracing from her shoulder down her arm. “Whatever happens, I need you to know that.”
“I love you too.” Rachel pulled him down for another kiss, and this time, when their bodies came together, it was with the knowledge that everything between them was about to change.
Afterward, they lay tangled together in the sheets, Rachel's head on Jack's chest, his fingers trailing up and down her spine. Neither spoke for a long time, both knowing that words would break the fragile peace they'd created.
But eventually, Jack's hand stilled, and Rachel felt him tense beneath her. “I hate to leave,” he whispered.
She nodded but didn’t trust her voice, afraid she’d burst into tears. They slid out of bed and dressed slowly, their movements methodical. Then she walked him to the front door, where he turned. Anguish poured from him as he clutched her to his chest.
Unable to stop, her tears leaked, wetting his shirt. Finally, he cupped her face again and leaned down for a kiss. Soft and sweet. Longing and love-filled. Yet sad.
Wrenching himself away, he swallowed hard before he turned and stepped to the door. Rachel watched him go, her whole body trembling with the effort of holding herself together.
“Jack?” Her voice stopped him at the threshold.
He looked back, longing and pain warring on his face.
“Be at peace,” she said. “Whatever you do, wherever you go, just know that you’ll always be in my heart. No matter how long our… time-out… lasts, you’ll always be in my heart.”
Jack's jaw clenched. “Same here, Rach.”
Then he was gone, and Rachel was alone in the silence with her shattered heart.
She made it upstairs to her room before more tears came. Great heaving sobs tore from her chest and left her gasping. She curled up on her bed… the same bed where they'd made love.
But forever had turned into for now. And she had no idea if for now had turned into goodbye.
The following morning, Rachel woke with swollen eyes and an aching head. She forced herself out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen, desperate for coffee and normalcy.
She held herself together until she spied Shiloh and Joseph's vehicle pulling into the driveway, then her carefully constructed composure crumbled. Joseph quickly put the kids down for a nap, giving Shiloh and Rachel a chance to talk.
Shiloh took one look at Rachel's face and pulled her into a fierce hug. “What happened?”
The story poured out between sobs. Jack's suggestion of a break. The careful way he'd explained his reasoning. The promise to stay friends. The devastating finality of watching him walk away.
Shiloh listened without interruption, her hand rubbing soothing circles on Rachel's back. When the tears finally subsided, she led Rachel to the kitchen table and poured them both tea. Joseph walked back into the room, leaning his hip against the counter.
Rachel didn’t mind… since she was fourteen years old, Joseph had taken Dad's place, and she loved him for never making her feel like Shiloh’s baggage.
“Do you think he just wants to be free to be with others?” Rachel wondered aloud the question she'd been too afraid to voice last night. “That he's tired of waiting for me?”
“No, sweetheart. I don't think that's it at all.” Shiloh's voice was gentle but firm. “I think he’s overwhelmed and trying to do what he thinks is right, even if it's breaking his heart too.”
“Then why does it feel so wrong?”
“Because sometimes the right thing and the easy thing aren't the same.” Shiloh reached across the table and took Rachel's hand. “But Rachel, I need you to think about something. Not just as an extension of Jack, but as a woman who can determine her own destiny.”
Rachel looked up, meeting her aunt's steady gaze.
“You were considering transferring to a school closer to the Naval Academy, weren't you?” Shiloh asked. “Maybe somewhere in Maryland, where you could see Jack more often?”
“I was considering it,” Rachel admitted. “I thought... I thought if I was closer, it would be easier.”
Joseph spoke up, his face creased with concern. “But would it be what you want? Or would it be what you think you should do for him?”