Chapter 8
Eight Years Ago
Jack climbed down from his new SUV and grabbed his duffel from the back.
With it slung over his shoulder, he breathed in the familiar salt air.
Christmas break, fourth year. Two weeks away from the Academy, from the relentless schedule, from the constant pressure to be better, faster, stronger.
Two weeks to remember who he was before he became Midshipman Hudson.
His mom waited on the front porch, her smile bright despite the cold December wind. She pulled him into a fierce hug, and Jack let himself lean into it for just a moment.
“Look at you,” his mom said, stepping back to study his face. “You look exhausted, honey.”
“I'm fine, Mom.” The automatic response came easily and with a smile. “Just ready for a break.”
She chatted while fixing him a sandwich, telling him the latest about his brother and sister.
Jack listened and responded appropriately, but his mind kept drifting to the woman he hadn't seen since last spring.
Rachel. God, he missed her. Missed her smile, her quiet strength, the way she made everything feel right even when the world was chaos.
After they'd started their time-out, he'd hated every second of it.
But he'd stuck to it, giving them the space he'd thought they both needed.
And he had to admit that the demands of the Academy were easier when he was able to study on the weekends, when he might have otherwise tried to go home to see her.
He'd searched her social media during late-night study sessions, seeing photos of her at ODU.
Rachel laughing with Cindy. At football games.
Looking happy and free and beautiful. But he wondered what she really felt since her eyes never seemed to sparkle in the photos.
He never saw her out partying, but the pictures reminded him that he'd made the right choice in giving her freedom.
She was thriving, but damn, he missed her.
They'd emailed back and forth, careful and friendly.
Phone calls when they could, though those were rare given his schedule.
Every conversation left him aching for more, but he'd held back.
This was what they needed, he'd told himself.
Time to grow separately so they could come back together stronger.
But he had no idea if she was dating anyone. Guilt swam through him at the thought. He and Melissa had become closer, and while they’d never shared more than a kiss, it was still hard to think of Rachel doing the same.
Christ, I’m a hypocrite!
Now, finally home, all he wanted was to see her.
“Rachel's doing well at ODU,” his mom said, as if reading his mind. “Shiloh says she loves her education classes.”
Jack's chest tightened. “That's good. She sounded happy the last time I talked to her.”
“Are you going to see her while you're home?”
“Yeah. We’ll meet tomorrow night at the American Legion party.” The event was held each year, and the families of AL and Auxiliary members would fill the room with laughter, good food, and fun. And hopefully a reunion with Rachel.
His mom smiled. “I’m sure she'll be excited to see you.”
Anxiety crept into his heart, and he hoped his mother was right.
The Baytown AL and Auxiliary Christmas party was in full swing by the time Jack arrived. The community center was decorated with lights and garland, and the crowd was a mix of locals he'd grown up with and newer residents who'd made the town home.
Jack scanned the room, seeing familiar faces and greeting old friends.
Cindy was there with yet another boyfriend, this one lasting longer than her usual monthlong relationships, according to her brother.
Trevor stood near the food table, talking with Jeremy, another friend Jack remembered from high school.
He saw men in law enforcement who served with his dad, either in the small towns or the sheriff’s department, and their families.
Many of the kids were now in high school, and he stopped to say hello to some of them.
But his gaze continuously roved over the crowd.
Then he saw her. Rachel. She stood with her back to him, dark hair falling past her shoulders in soft waves.
She wore a deep green dress that hugged curves he’d never forgotten, and when she turned to laugh at something Cindy said, Jack felt the air leave his lungs.
She was breathtaking.
As though she could feel the heat of his gaze, Rachel glanced across the room, and their eyes met. For a moment, neither of them moved. Then her face lit with a smile that made Jack's chest ache, and she started walking toward him.
Jack met her halfway, and then she was in his arms, and nothing else mattered. He held her tight, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo, feeling the steady beat of her heart against his chest.
“Hi,” Rachel said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.
“Hi.” Jack pulled back just enough to see her face. He hadn’t held her since last spring. “God, I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “So much.”
They stood there, drinking each other in, until someone jostled past them and broke the spell. Jack reluctantly released her but kept one hand linked with hers.
“You look amazing,” he said.
Rachel's cheeks flushed. “You too.”
There was no quiet corner to sit and talk privately, so they wandered around, greeting more friends.
In between, they tried to catch up, but underneath the words, tension simmered. Every time their hands brushed, Jack felt electricity shoot up his arm. Every time Rachel smiled, he wanted to kiss her. And from the way she kept looking at his mouth, he suspected she felt the same.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Jack asked finally, unable to take the crowd and noise any longer.
Rachel nodded. “Please.”
They said quick goodbyes and grabbed their coats. Outside, the December air was cold and crisp, their breath forming clouds in the darkness.
When he clicked the fob for his SUV, she gasped. “You got a new vehicle?”
“Yeah, traded in the old truck I’d bought as a junker in high school. Thought it was time to have something better.”
She grinned as she buckled her seat belt. “Where do you want to go?”
Jack looked at her, at the hope and nervousness and desire in her eyes. “Anywhere. As long as it's with you.”
They ended up at a late-night diner, sliding into a booth in the back corner. The server brought coffee without being asked, recognizing Jack from his high school days. They sat with their hands wrapped around warm mugs, looking at each other.
Finally, Jack said, “I couldn’t wait to see you again.”
Rachel sighed. “I know. Me too.” She hesitated, pressing her lips together as though trying to figure out what to say. “But I guess we both needed the break… um… the time-out.”
“Did you?” Jack searched her face. “Need it, I mean?”
She shrugged, but Rachel's honesty was one of the things he loved most about her. “I’ve spent time making friends, joining clubs, and working hard in my classes. But Jack?” She reached across the table, but she hesitated, resting her hand on the surface a few inches from his.
“I also figured out that none of it means as much without you to share it with.”
Relief mixed with guilt flooded through him. “You always sounded like you were having such a good time when we talked.”
“I was, but I missed you every single day.” Rachel squeezed his hand. She rolled her lips inward, pressing them together, then let out a shaky breath. “Are you... um… dating anyone?”
The question had been coming. Jack knew it would. And he owed her the truth. “There's a cadet,” he said carefully, watching Rachel's face. “We've spent time together. It's been easy to talk to her because we have so many of the same experiences.”
Rachel's expression shuttered slightly, her hand moving to cup her mug instead of staying close to his. “Oh… sure. Yeah. Um… that makes sense.”
He wanted to reassure her while not hurting her.
“We’ve gone out as friends a few times. Mostly with other people, but a few times alone.
” The admission tasted bitter. “But Rach, it didn't mean anything.
It wasn't like you and me. It was just...” He struggled to find the words. “It was just… someone to talk to.”
“I see…” Rachel sighed heavily. She continued to hold his gaze and offered a little smile that looked more forced than real. She looked down at her hands for a moment, then sighed again. “I did the same… with groups. I didn’t have anyone… special… to talk to.”
He knew anyone as pretty and sweet as Rachel would have guys after her, but it still was a gut-punch to hear. Relief once again rushed through him, yet guilt that he’d found camaraderie with someone else flooded his veins.
“I was asked out.” She lifted her head to look at him before shrugging. “Nothing felt right.”
Jack ran his hand through his hair. “Why does it feel wrong?”
“Because even a time-out can’t change what is in my heart,” Rachel said simply.
The truth settled between them. They ordered food neither of them really wanted and eventually moved past the careful, edited conversations they'd had over email and short calls. They talked, but it was hard to breach the wall between them. Rachel told him about her classes and the apartment she and Cindy were sharing. Jack told her stories about the Academy and how he’d decided to give up baseball in his last year because he just couldn't keep up with everything.
Eventually, the conversation became less stilted, and they talked until the diner closed.
Jack tossed money onto the table and took her hand in his, helping her with her coat. He was struck with the realization that what he and Rachel shared was deep. Bone-deep, soul-deep. No one he’d met came close to Rachel.
“I'm still hoping to be stationed at Norfolk Naval Base after I graduate,” Jack said as they walked to his SUV. “Then we could be together. Really together. Making plans and moving forward.”