Chapter 16
I sat in the chair next to his bed and stroked his hair, his breathing even and strong. After a tense ninety minutes in the waiting room, Dr. Morgen came out to tell me he was going to be just fine. His leads weren’t broken, but the device sure as hell was. I was angry that he had to go through this because the manufacturer was so lax in their quality control. The lead had broken off the device, but the lead itself wasn’t broken. They were able to place a new device and he’d be good as new in a few days. I wasn’t as convinced, until three hours after surgery when he insisted we go for a walk through the hallways. Three hours after surgery! He promised the nurses he was fine and he’d be careful, but they weren’t convinced either. They made me walk with him holding a support belt while he pushed his I.V. pole. I had to give it to him, he was in stellar shape. What would have knocked most people on their butt was barely a blip on the screen for him.
“You should go home, it’s late,” he murmured, opening one eye. “I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
I smiled and leaned forward, taking his hand. “I know, but I don’t want to leave you in case you need something.”
“Addie, that’s what they pay the nurses for.”
“I meant to ask you,” I said, brushing aside his comments about me leaving, “is there anyone you want me to call? I know your parents are dead, but what about brothers or sisters? An aunt?”
He shook his head and his lips thinned. “No, there’s no one else to call.”
“Ellis, there has to be someone who would want to know you’r—”
“Let it go, Addie, there’s no one,” he said sharply.
Even though his eyes were closed there was an expression on his face that was either anger or shame. Then again, it could be both.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s fine, I really just want you to get some rest. It’s been a stressful day for you.”
I chuckled, rubbing his thigh through the blanket. “You’re not kidding. First, Santa passes out on me and then he tells me he loves me.”
A smile played at his lips. “Actually, it was the other way around. First, Santa said he loved you, and then he passed out.”
I pointed at him. “My bad.”
“Which part was stressful then? The I love you part or the passing out part?” he asked, fully awake now.
“Neither, actually. The most stressful part was waiting while they did surgery on the heart of the guy I love. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear you utter those words again. Once I knew you were going to be okay, I wondered if you really meant them.”
He picked up my hand and brushed a gentle kiss across my knuckles. “Trust me, I meant them. I meant them in the car and I meant them again in the ER. I mean them now, too. I love you, Addie. I know that’s a lot to drop on you in the middle of a crisis, but I wasn’t thinking about finessing it. I was thinking about making sure you knew in case I checked out and they couldn’t bring me back.”
I gripped his hand in both of mine. “I didn’t need finessing. I needed honesty and that’s what you offered. I love you, Ellis. I may not know where to go from here, but I know that much.”
He raised one brow and shifted to see me better. “Maybe you could let me be your boyfriend?”
Boyfriend?
“Don’t look so petrified, Addie,” he teased. “It’s usually the next step after saying I love you.”
I nodded, my head on a string. “I know, I guess it just took me by surprise. The last boyfriend I had didn’t work out so well. I was with him for years and never once told him I loved him. How screwed up is that?”
“Did you love him?” he asked, one brow furrowed to his nose.
“It’s taken me a lot of years to understand that I didn’t love him. I always held back part of my heart. Something was off but I didn’t know what.”
“My guess is you eventually found out and it wasn’t good,” he whispered, resting back on the pillow and brushing the hair off my forehead.
I cleared my throat and stared at my hands. “I stumbled across him and my best friend making out in the woods one night. It turned out they’d been sleeping together the entire time we’d been together.”
He let out a breath as though he’d been punched. “Addie,” he whispered, “look at me.”
I couldn’t look at him. That age-old shame, pain, embarrassment, and regret filled me and tears leaked from my eyes.
I shook my head and wiped my face on my shoulder. “You can’t begin to imagine the embarrassment that came from knowing I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“No, sweetheart, he wasn’t good enough for you,” he said quietly from the bed.
“I don’t think so, Ellis. Clearly, I wasn’t satisfying him in bed since he had to go on the side and get it somewhere else. He said he wanted to sleep with a black woman because we were supposed to be animals in bed. Apparently, I wasn’t.”
“Addie, look at me.”
I forced my gaze off my hands and to his bed where he’d scooted to the edge. “It wasn’t you, sweetheart. He couldn’t fulfill something inside himself. That’s not on you, that’s on him. What happened after you broke up?”
“I stopped dating and he kept seeing my ex-best friend.”
“And found a new side number?” he asked, grasping my hand even though I refused to make eye contact.
“That’s what I heard. Can’t confirm since I cut them out of my life. They moved to Saginaw because half of this town wanted to kill them when they found out what was going on. And before you say it, he was dating me first. He started sleeping with her after I introduced them.”
He wrapped his hand around my wrist and held me still. “I would never, ever say or assume that you were the side girl. You’re not a side girl. You’re the main attraction, and you’re my girl now. Do you understand? I care about what happened with him only because he hurt you and that will be a constant reminder to me not to do the same. He’s ancient history. I’m here now and I’m going to love you the way a boyfriend should, completely and with everything I have. Oh, and for the record, I don’t buy that you aren’t good in bed. I can’t keep my hands off you and we haven’t even gotten that far. I can’t even fathom what it will be like to have you wrapped around me. Maybe the difference is, sex is just sex until the heart is involved. I’m totally in love with you and once the heart gets involved, then it’s—”
“Making love,” I whispered. “By that definition then I suppose I’ve never made love to anyone.”
He smiled and his eyes were glassy but bright and hungry. “Then let’s be each other’s first, okay? If you can’t use the word boyfriend, I’ll understand, just promise me that you can see me as more than a friend.”
I stood and hugged him carefully, pressing a kiss to his neck, my heart filled with blinding love for him. “I’m not afraid of the word, Ellis. I’m afraid of getting hurt. Are you going to hurt me?”
His arm tightened around my back and he kissed his way up my jawline to my ear. “I would take a bullet for you, Addie. I would give up my life so you could keep living yours. I would fight someone twice my size to protect you. You know how Mason loves Mel and Shep loves Ivy?” he asked, stroking my back with one finger. It was soothing and erotic at the same time. I nodded and he kissed me again before he answered. “That’s how I love you.”
I held him to me, my face buried in his neck while I took shaky breaths of acceptance. “You must really love me then because those two guys would do anything for their girls.”
He kissed my temple with his warm lips. “And I’d do anything for mine. I’ll even call her Addie and nothing else until she’s comfortable taking each new step.”
I laughed softly as I snuggled into his side. “You can call me whatever you want, but I’m going to call you my boyfriend,” I whispered, kissing his lips for a moment.
When I gazed up at him he was grinning. “And I’m going to call you my girl, forever and always.”
I parked the car under the overhang and put my hand on his arm. “Wait for me to come around, okay?”
He eyed me and I was grateful to see they were back to twinkling. “I can walk, Addie. You heard the doctor, activity as tolerated.”
I nodded with exaggeration. “I did hear the doctor, but I also heard the nurse anesthetist who said you might be dizzy and off-balance for another twenty-four hours.”
“The yoga instructor is going to be off-balance,” he teased.
I climbed out and shook my head. If possible, he was a worse patient than the entire hospital combined. By the time I got back there this morning to pick him up, he had the nurses pulling their hair out and the doctors laughing. There was independent and then there was Ellis David.
I opened the car door and motioned him out. He slung his right arm over my shoulder and pretended to lean heavily on me. His new ICD was in his left chest and he couldn’t raise that arm above his head. He kissed my cheek and winked at me, and I was forced to smile.
“You’re the one who should be on Santa’s naughty list.” I laughed and unlocked the side door. “You drove those nurses crazy.”
“With my crazy good looks and my crazy charm,” he answered, stepping in the door. We took our boots off and climbed the stairs together where I unlocked the apartment door.
“Are you sure it’s okay to be here?” I asked, holding the door open for him. “You have to go down the stairs to use the bathroom.”
He closed the door and pushed me up against it. “Addie, stop. I’m okay and the stairs aren’t a problem. I just appreciate you lending me your spare room. Without your help, I’d be in deeper trouble than I already am.”
I slid my hand up his face to caress his cheek. “I know you’re worried about the expense and the business, but don’t be. Bells Pass has you with the business and I have your heart.”
He let a smile tip his lips. “You do have my heart. All of it.” Then his lips took over and his tongue stroked mine in a kiss of bridled passion.
“Ellis,” I said around his lips. “You have to stop. Remember, no strenuous exercise.”
He pulled back and eyed me, one brow in the air. “Kissing isn’t strenuous exercise. Kissing you calms my heart.” I gave him a brow back and he shrugged, standing up straight. “I’m not kidding. Every time we kiss it’s like my heart doesn’t feel so tight. That’s the best way I can describe it.”
I suddenly understood what he meant and smiled. “You know what, I feel the same way, along with a steady underlying layer of desire that usually leaves me hot and bothered long after you walk out the door.”
He moaned and rested his head against my forehead. “Thanks for that. You’re trying to drive me crazy, aren’t you?”
I shrugged and ducked around him. “Who me?” I joked, flipping on a lamp in the living room.
He caught my arm and twirled me back to him. “Yes you, beautiful,” he said, kissing me again. When he pulled back, he slid his hand through his hair and sighed. “I knew moving in with you was going to be a mistake. I warned you, I can’t keep my hands off you.”
“Your bedroom door has a lock,” I said over my shoulder as I walked to it.
He followed me and peeked inside. “Addie, what did you do?” He walked into the room and sat on the twin bed along the wall. “How did you get all my stuff here?”
I leaned against the doorjamb. “When Mel and Ivy heard you were in the hospital, they just kind of took over. Shep and Ivy had a spare bed, so the guys moved it in while Ivy filled the fridge. I don’t think we’ll have to cook for about three weeks.” I winked and he smiled, patting the bed next to him.
He put his arm around me and kissed my temple when I sat. “And my clothes?”
“That was me early this morning. I didn’t think you wanted the women from the diner digging through your underwear drawer.”
He jiggled with laughter and shook his head. “I appreciate that, thank you. I appreciate this. I appreciate them. Mostly, I appreciate you. This bed is super comfy, but it would be better if you were in it.”
I grinned and kissed his temple back. “No strenuous activity for at least a week, remember?”
“Oh, trust me, I’m counting down the days,” he promised, his eyes twinkling. “Seriously, Addie. Thank you. This town is really something else, but you’re just an angel.”
“Not an angel, Ellis. Trust me. But I do look out for the people I love, so I don’t want you to get mad at me for what I’m about to tell you.”
He raised one brow and sighed at me. “It would take a lot for me to get mad at you.”
“Maybe you should hold that thought until you hear this. It seems that Mrs. Tims and Audrey also heard you were in the hospital.”
“Oh boy,” he said, shaking his head. “Probably, the better question is what did they do?”
“They called Mrs. Tims’s grandson who apparently knows a guy who knows a guy who does yoga.”
He buried his head in his hand and shook it. “Seriously?”
“I can’t make this up,” I agreed. “They convinced this guy to come and guest teach at the studio this week. Apparently, he’s a real favorite with the old ladies in Saginaw.”
He kept shaking his head. “Addie, no, honestly, no. I’ll close it down for a few days and then I’ll just do kid classes the rest of the week. It will be fine.”
“I think that ship sailed, but I have his number and you can call him and possibly try to talk him out of it. I’m sorry, I tried, but you know Audrey.”
He laughed and groaned at the same time. “She’s like trying to steer a bus without a wheel. It just goes where it wants to.”
I pointed at him. “Exactly like that. Now, maybe you should take a nap and then we’ll have some lunch.”
He turned into me and caressed my cheek, holding my eyes. “You’re still worried about me.” I nodded, my chin trembling to give away how much. “You heard the doctor. The leads were fine, it was just the device that was bad. This is a short recovery and there were no lasting effects on my heart. Please, try to relax,” he whispered, letting me rest my head on his shoulder while he rubbed my back.
“I’m trying,” I said over a shaky breath. “I’m not sure my heart has started yet after that car ride yesterday.”
“You have to remember you kept your cool and got me where I needed to be. I wasn’t going to bite the dust on you. I had too much to stick around for. Like sweet kisses in the dark and the promise of so much more.”
I nodded, entranced by the sweetness of his eyes. “I’m new to all of this.”
“All of this? All of what?”
I sat up and sighed. “Being in love, living with a guy, and loving someone who could leave me too soon.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not going anywhere. This was an unusual circumstance, Addie. If I hadn’t been kicked in that one specific spot, the device never would have malfunctioned like that.”
“The doctor said those devices had issues. Did he tell you that?”
He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair. “He did and I was relieved to know I was getting a replacement on the company’s dime. They’re almost thirty-five grand, Addie.”
My eyes bugged out and I swallowed, hard. “You have insurance, right?”
“I do, but I have to pay twenty percent. Even that is better than what it would cost me without. I put my dad’s life insurance policy in a high yield account. It should cover my medical expenses for the rest of my life, barring anything massive happening.”
“That’s good news. At least this replacement won’t cost as much. The doctor said it should last ten years, right?”
He crossed his fingers. “As long as I stay away from toddlers with snow boots.” He kissed my nose jokingly. “Every year that passes means another year where they may find a way to cure my arrhythmia. Right now, they can’t, but that doesn’t mean it won’t change in the future. Do you think you can get used to living with and loving a guy whose heart is a little mashed up?”
I kissed him, his lips warm under mine and his tongue silky as I stroked it. He was barely breathing hard when I pulled away, which I thought was a good sign.
“If you keep looking at me with those giant orbs of chocolatey goodness, I’ll be used to it in no time.”
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’m glad, because I’m already used to loving a woman who is strong, beautiful, independent, and the best damn kisser in Bells Pass.”
“Maybe we should practice more,” I whispered, bringing my lips to his, “you can never have too much practice.
I trudged up the stairs at nearly six, covered in hair and holding my hand wrapped in a towel. I pushed the door open to my apartment and Ellis was sitting on the couch watching a game. At least the television was finally getting used.
“Hey,” I said, going straight to the kitchen, holding my left hand with my right. “How was your day?”
He was behind me before I knew he moved, holding my waist. “The better question is, how was your day. It looks like it went downhill since I saw you an hour ago.”
I unwound the towel and dropped it in the sink, turning the water on to run. “Slipped with the shears on the last cut,” I explained, watching the blood run down the drain and grimacing at the sting of the water.
“Addie, that’s deep. I think stitches are in order. Let’s wrap it back up and I’ll get your coat.”
I chuckled, shutting the water off and grabbing a paper towel to wrap around my finger. “Ellis, if I went and got stitches every time I cut my finger, I’d never have time to work.”
“Addie, I could see the bone.”
I bent the finger gingerly and while it hurt like sin, it moved. “See, no tendon damage. A few steri-strips and I’m back in business. Would you grab the first aid kit from under the sink?” I asked, stepping aside. He bent down and came up with the white box then opened it on the table.
“Sit,” he said, sighing. I did as he instructed, and he washed his hands, then joined me at the table. “I’m not convinced, but let’s see what we can do. If it doesn’t stop bleeding in two hours, we call your mom.”
I held up my good hand. “Fine, but it will. Like I said, I do this all the time.”
“Maybe you should be more careful about what you’re snipping. You’re supposed to be cutting hair, not flesh.”
I knew he was teasing and I sighed, frustrated with the day. “I know. I was exhausted and ready to be done when the last client came in. She’s five and while she loves getting her hair cut, she forgets to sit still. Better my finger than her head.”
He glanced up and offered me a genuine smile. “Kids are like that. Mine have been especially squirrely this week. I think it’s because Christmas is fast approaching.”
“There is definitely an air of utmost excitement,” I agreed as he opened the strips and got a band-aid ready. “How has it been going with the new guy?”
“Dawson is actually great with the little ones. He’s quiet, reserved, and doesn’t get rattled easily, but also can be silly with the kids. He really saved my bacon this week.”
“That’s great. I’m glad Audrey’s meddling worked out for once.”
He winked and laid my hand on a towel on the table. “He’s staying with Mrs. TIms and apparently Audrey is there almost every night. She says he’s easy on the eyes.”
“Is he?” I asked, sucking in a breath when he exposed the cut to air.
His eyes traveled to mine for a second before he went back to the first-aid kit. “Doing okay?”
“Yup, just tender,” I said, biting my lip since he’d been through much worse than a little cut to his finger.
“I don’t know if he’s easy on the eyes, Addie. I’m a guy who likes this one particular stubborn girl, but all the ladies seem to think he is.”
He started putting steri-strips across the cut to hold it together, one at a time all the way up the finger. Then he laid them diagonally to make an X.
I checked out his work as he prepared gauze and ointment. “Wow, that might actually hold it closed. How do you know how to do that?”
He didn’t make eye contact when he spoke. “I used to work on a farm. The livestock would often get cut in the fields. We learned to do simple bandaging techniques early on. I’m not convinced this will do the trick since it’s deep, but we’ll give it a go.”
He added a layer of ointment over the steri-strips and then wrapped it in gauze and tape for me. “Try to keep it elevated and straight for a few hours. That will keep it from bleeding through the strips.”
I bent it at the elbow and rested it on the table. “Will do, Dr. David. How is the shoulder feeling?”
He pulled the neck of his shirt down to reveal the line of stitches. “No redness and already nice and firm. I should be able to get them out Monday like he promised and then I’m back in business.”
“Is it still tender there?” I asked, rubbing just below the device.
“Not much anymore unless I move it wrong.” I lowered a brow and he laughed. “Don’t worry, I haven’t been doing yoga. I work in the office while Dawson runs the classes. By the end of the week, I should have the plan complete to expand the offerings for new classes.”
“You decided to go ahead with that already?” I asked surprised.
“The city is crying out for it, and I’m definitely feeling the pressure.”
“Ellis, you hardly have time to breathe as it is.”
“Says the girl who comes home after six every night.”
“It’s a busy time of year, everyone wants to look good for the holidays. That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’ve been talking with Dawson about his availability,” he said, his gaze holding mine. “He’s not working as a yoga instructor right now because there are no openings and there’s no need for another studio in Saginaw.”
“Seriously?” I asked surprised. “You like him that much?”
“I do. He’s good at what he does and he understands the town and the needs here. He’s eager, dedicated, smart, and knows his stuff.”
“Can you afford to pay an employee?”
“If we bring in business the way my model shows then I can. There’s the added benefit that I don’t have to be there all day every day. We can split the load and that allows us more creativity in our offerings as well.”
“You know, I like the idea. It would give us more time to spend together, too.”
He touched my nose and grinned. “Exactly what I was thinking. I won’t have to work every Saturday. I can make sure my Saturdays off are the same ones you take off.”
“Speaking of which, are you going to be able to play Santa on Saturday?”
He stood and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer then took my good hand and led me to the couch. He rested my hand on his lap and set the ice pack over it. “It won’t be a problem pain wise. The problem will be my lifting restrictions until the stitches are out. I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to do,” he admitted. “I don’t want to let the kids down, but I can’t blow this out,” he said, motioning at his shoulder.
I thought about it for a few minutes while I stared at the TV. “I have a deal for you.”
He raised his brows and grinned. “I’m listening.”
“I have a wedding to attend on Friday night. If you’ll be my date for that, I’ll be your special elf helper on Saturday.”
He kissed my lips once and leaned his forehead against mine. “You want me to go to Mel and Mason’s wedding with you?”
“I want you to be my partner in everything, Ellis, but we can start small if you’re okay with it.”
He cocked his head to the left. “Okay with it? Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You know, everyone in Bells Pass will be there, including my mom and Stan.”
He stroked my cheek lightly. “Honey, I’m well-acquainted with your mom, remember? She already threatened to kill me and hide my body if I hurt you. Seriously, I can handle anything anyone else throws at me.”
I leaned back, my eyes wide. “She didn’t!”
He laughed, his shoulders shaking as he nodded. “Oh, she did. She whispered it as I was going out, but I heard her and she knows I did.”
“I can’t believe she did that,” I said, dumping my head into my hands. “She’s such a—”
“Mom. She’s a mom who loves her daughter. She’s also a woman who was hurt by a man when she wasn’t much younger than you are. I’m sure that weighs on her when she thinks about her daughter getting in too deep.”
“She doesn’t even know the half of it,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“Oh, she does. If you’re referring to the fact that I love you.”
“What? You told her?” I asked, my voice an octave higher than necessary.
“In my defense, they gave me something to relax me before surgery. She used it against me.”
I laughed and threw my head back on the couch, rolling it back and forth. “She’s evil. So, so evil.”
He winked and slid his hand behind the nape of my neck. “She loves you, and moms are like that. She told me she’d never seen the look you wore when you walked into my hospital room. I guess we both wear our emotions on our sleeves when it comes to each other.”
I tugged on his sleeve and grinned. “It’s hard not to when you’re by my side. Will you go with me on Friday night?”
He kissed me, his lips determined to turn mine to jelly under his. I let mine fall open and he stroked my tongue at the same time his hand cupped the outside of my breast, his thumb stroking the satin of the bra. He moaned as deeply as I did while his knee snugged up tight between my legs, the kiss deepening when he plastered himself the length of me.
There was a knock on the door and we both froze, staring into each other’s eyes for a beat. I jumped up off the couch to straighten my shirt.
“I can’t walk right now,” he said, adjusting his pants, “you better see who it is. God, I hope it’s not your mom.” He stared down at his pants and I had to hold in a laugh when another knock sounded.
“Coming,” I called casually, buying some more time for both of us to get our breathing under control.
Once he had crossed his legs and focused on the game again, I threw the door open. I was surprised by the visitors at the top of the stairs. “Mel, Holly,” I greeted them. Mother held her daughter’s shoulder firmly. “Is something wrong?”
Mel smiled and shook her head. “Hi, Addie. Nothing’s wrong, but Holly here was worried about Ellis. She’s been asking to see him all week. We were out getting final stuff together for the wedding, so I thought we’d take a chance and stop by. The side door was open so I hope you don’t mind that we came up. We understand if he’s not up for visitors.”
A body appeared behind me and he stuck his head over my shoulder, resting his chin on my collarbone. “I’m always up for visitors like you.”
Holly waved from waist level, shyly, which wasn’t her usual MO. I was starting to think Miss Holly had a crush on my boyfriend, not that I could blame her. He was handsome and an overall awesome person. I had a pretty big crush on him, too.
“Hi, Ellis. I hope you’re feeling better. Mom said your heart broke.”
Ellis chuckled and we both stepped back to let them in. Mel shut the door behind us and Ellis offered Holly a hug.
“I’m feeling much better, especially when sweet girls come to visit me.” He knelt on the floor to be at her level and patted his chest. “My heart did sort of break, but not the way you’re thinking. Push gently right here,” he said, tapping his shoulder.
Holly reached out but pulled back before she touched him. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” he promised, “just touch it gently, like you would if you were petting a cat.”
She reached forward again and touched the spot he pointed to, pulling her hand back almost instantly. “It’s hard.”
“It is hard. That’s the little device they keep in my heart to make sure it beats right. Sometimes it beats too fast, and the little box in there makes sure to slow it down. I had to go to the hospital because the little box stopped working, but now it’s all fixed. I’ll be back to teaching next week. I’m sorry we couldn’t do a lesson this week, but the doctor said no yoga until the stitches come out.”
“You have stitches? That’s so cool!”
He winked and shook his head. “Not that cool. They keep me from being able to see you at the studio. Do you want to see them?”
She nodded, her eyes focused on his shoulder when he pulled his shirt down. The straight line of stitches went across his chest and she gasped. “That’s a lot of stitches!”
He released his shirt and gave her the palms out. “Now you see why I can’t do yoga until they come out. It might hurt with all those stitches holding me together.”
She nodded her head up and down like a puppet. “I’m sorry you had to have a broken heart, but I’m glad the doctors fixed it. How does the box work? Does it give you a poke when your heart is being bad?”
All three of us chuckled, but Ellis pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced up at Mel. “Is it okay if I show her the picture? I don’t want to scare her.”
Mel motioned at her daughter. “Please do. She’s very curious. She won’t rest until she knows.”
Ellis opened his pictures before he turned the phone around for Holly to see. She gasped and looked up at her mom and then back to the phone. She pointed at the box and then the leads running out of it. “That’s the box?”
“That’s the box and these wires,” he pointed at the leads, “they go down into my heart, which you can see here.” He traced his heart for her so she could see the outline. “And you’re right that the box then sends a poke through these wires here to tell my heart to stop being silly and beat right.”
He tucked the phone back in his pocket while she contemplated all the information. “You’re kind of like a robot!”
He laughed and took her hand, squeezing it for a moment. You could tell by the way he looked at her how much he cared about her. “A little bit like a robot.”
“My heart broke a little bit too, but I don’t have a box to fix it,” she said softly. “I wish I did sometimes.”
Mel sighed and I put my arm around her waist in solidarity.
Ellis frowned and stood, still holding her hand. “I wish I had a box for that kind of broken heart, but I don’t. I do have something that might help, though.” He glanced up at Mel. “Do you have a few minutes?” Mel nodded and he took Holly into the living room, changing the channel on the television to instrumental music and sitting with her on the floor.
I led Mel into the kitchen a bit further and eyed her. “She’s still having problems?”
She leaned against the table and shrugged. “She’s doing better since Santa visited,” she said, raising an eyebrow at Ellis.
I snickered quietly. “It was him. He didn’t know Holly was in the gazebo with us when he came over. He was just going to say hi. When he saw her, he figured he better play along with the Santa routine. When she broke his heart, he was determined to help her.”
“Only it was his heart that was broken,” Mel said, watching him help Holly get into a meditation pose.
“Yeah, in more ways than one. He really cares about Holly. He’d do anything to help her.”
“His little speech as the big man himself did a lot. She’s been in school every day this week. Mason set up her iPad to be able to text us at lunch and recess. She did that Monday and Tuesday, but today, she forgot all about it. She has some life back in her, even if she’s still reserved about smiling and laughing. At least she isn’t petrified to leave the house anymore. She doesn’t cry when Mason or I go to work.”
“That’s heartbreaking, Mel, but I’m glad she’s a little bit better. How scary that must be for someone her age. Did the doctor suggest any medication to help her?”
Mel crossed her arms as she watched her daughter with her eyes closed, repeating words that Ellis whispered. Words we couldn’t hear. “He did, but we’ve held off.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely concerned.
“She’s eight. The medications have a long list of side effects, so we want to give her time to work through this without them first. It’s hard to watch her suffer, don’t get me wrong, and if it goes on much longer, we will definitely be taking that option, but we want to wait until after the holidays. Holidays are hard when it comes to missing people you love. The doctor hopes she will slowly improve after Christmas when those memories fade again.”
“I understand and it makes sense. I agree, we love the Christmas season, but it’s hard to think about those who won’t be celebrating with us. I’m glad she has such wonderful parents like you and Mason. You guys do right by her.”
“Thanks, Addie.” She went to grab my hand and I grimaced. She glanced down and gasped. “Your hand is bleeding!”
I lifted my hand and noticed the bandage was soaked with blood again. I held it up with a grim look on my face. “I cut it with my shears earlier. Usually, a few steri-strips do the trick.”
“Doesn’t look like they will this time,” she said, turning it one way and then the other. “You better have this looked at before morning.”
“Thanks, but I’ve had enough of the ER. I’ll wrap it again and keep it up. It will stop bleeding by morning.”
“You realize I want you at my wedding in two days, right? Not in the hospital from an infection.”
I brushed my hand at her. “Hasn’t happened yet. I’m not working Friday either, other than to do our hair.” My eyes traveled to Holly who was in the zone with Ellis. “What’s happening with the adoption? Is that a go for Friday night at the diner?”
Mel shook her head to the negative, her lips pursed. “Nada. We took it off the table and since we did, she’s relaxed a lot more. Maybe it will happen after the holidays when she’s focused less on what her last name is and more on what she’s gaining by having Mason as her dad. I mean, he’s still her dad, but for her to accept his name.”
“Now his heart must be broken. I know how much he wanted her to have his name on that day.”
She nodded, biting her lip. “It isn’t often you see the man you love cry in frustration. He wants to help her, but he can’t, and it’s killing him.”
I rubbed her back with my good hand. “I’m sorry, Mel. He’s a wonderful father and Holly knows it. Once she gets over this hurdle, she will be ready to accept his name.”
Mel smiled as she watched one grow on her daughter’s face. “Exactly what I told him, and he knows. As he said, he’s always going to be her dad, no matter what. We’re hoping once I change my name to Hadley, she will decide she doesn’t want to be the odd man out.”
I snickered and gave her a high five out of sight of Holly. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”