Chapter 47
Martin
When I get to the car, I realise someone is waiting for me.
“You’ve been here a while. You left half an hour ago.”
He just shrugs.
“Is it a habit of yours now, hanging around car parks at night?”
“I’ve never done this before.”
“Is that because everyone usually falls at your feet before you even get to say ‘fuck it’?”
“More or less.”
I nod, a weight settling in my chest. “What do you want, Captain? We’ve nothing left to say. I told you that a few hours ago.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Of course you don’t. You can’t stand the thought that Doctor Loser might actually be done before you are.”
“Don’t.”
“What are you on about?” I ask, exhausted.
“Don’t give up on me.”
“What is it for you? A challenge, a game, an obsession?”
“Yes. It is. An obsession.”
I open my mouth to reply, but he gets there first.
“I’m obsessed with you.”
“That doesn’t exactly sound like a good thing, you know?”
“I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t forget your smell. I can still feel you on my skin, even after a week.”
He pushes off the car door and takes a few slow steps towards me.
“I can’t forget your hands, your kisses, your mouth…”
A shiver runs through me, sharp and electric. I hate how much his words still get to me.
“So that’s what this is about?”
Dignity, I remind myself. Like my son said.
“No. I mean… I don’t know.”
“They sound like fairly weak reasons to me.”
“Can you just…” He waves his hands, then drags them through his hair. The memory of my fingers tangled there hits me hard, and all sense goes straight out the window. “Just…” He lets out a long breath, looking even more exhausted than I feel. “Don’t give up on me.”
His honesty is bad enough, but the torment in his eyes is worse.
“What’s really going on? Are you afraid of commitment, terrified of being hurt, or just not the type who knows how to open up? Which is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is that your handy answer?”
“It’s my honest answer.”
“That’s not good enough for me, Captain.”
“Then what do you want? Just tell me.”
“I don’t want any games. I don’t want excuses or empty words. I don’t want to be toyed with.”
“You’ve listed all the things you don’t want, but you still haven’t answered my question. What do you truly want?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Then I’ll tell you what I want.” He steps in close until our faces are nearly touching, his fingers slipping into my hair.
When his fingertips slide slowly over my scalp, my body jolts awake, arching helplessly towards him.
“I want this.” His mouth claims mine. “And this again,” he whispers, brushing my lower lip with his teeth.
“And this, too.” His tongue teases at my lips until they part, and then he’s inside, stealing my breath, my words — any hope I have of doing anything but feel him. “Especially this,” he breathes.
And then he comes back to kiss me again, to fill the void. He just comes back. And God help me, I don’t ever want him to leave again.
His fingers slide through my hair, his warm breath sending a shiver of longing through me, filling my chest with fragile hope.
His tongue explores and claims, coaxing sparks through my veins.
I slide my hand behind his neck, aching to pull him closer, craving the solid weight of his body pressed to mine.
“Oh, Jesus,” he gasps against my mouth. “That too. So fucking much of this,” he adds, referring to my erection pressing against his.
“Um… don’t you have a house?”
I jolt away from him and spot Evan, his head stuck out the back window of Ryan’s car.
I shove my fingers through my hair to fix it, my cheeks burning as I try to hide how completely unravelled I am.
Pointless.
The mortification is written all over my face.
“Dignity, Dad, I told you! What the fuck?”
“Evan!” his mother snaps from inside the car.
“You could’ve let him stew for at least twenty-four hours! Have you learned nothing at all? Why do I even bother talking to you? Pure waste of breath!”
Jamie is laughing, and I’d honestly rather be on the wrong side of Ryan’s fists right now.
“Everyone in their own place tonight. Understood?” My son’s words land like a knife to the chest.
Good thing he was sorry for messing with me.
“Yes, sir,” Jamie answers.
“Are we done now?” Ryan asks my son impatiently.
“My duty is done. We can go.”
“I never wanted to see that. I’ll have nightmares after this,” Ryan smutters, before he finally drives off.
“This won’t stay a secret for long if we keep getting caught like a pair of horny teenagers in the middle of the street.”
Jamie grabs my hips and turns me to face him.
“No more secrets, Doctor. I can’t keep pretending. I need to touch you, to kiss you. I don’t give a fuck who’s watching.”
“When you say it like that, it really does sound like an obsession, you know that?”
He smiles, far too pleased with himself.
“And you’re proud of it.”
“Shh, Doctor, you’re talking too much. I’ve gone a whole week without you, and I’m making up for it starting right now.”