Chapter 16
THANKS, DAD!
Andrik-
Thanl?n ves’kai mor?n. (I’m unworthy of this. Of her. Of the bond.)
I didn’t mean to yell, but she stepped toward me, and I felt it. One more breath and I would’ve dragged her so deep into the bond she’d never find her way out.
I’m trying to be gentle. I’m trying to be good.
But all I’ve done is make her flinch.
She’s staring at me with those big, dark eyes. Equal parts hurt and hunger, and I hate myself for both. She didn’t ask for any of this—just a pawn in fate’s game. She deserves more than a beast too weak to wait.
Her scent is everywhere. Lust and sadness cling to the sheets. The air. My skin.
Each inhale is more dangerous than the last. If I stay here another minute, I’m going to mess this up for good.
I force myself not to reach for her.
“You should take a shower,” I rasp. My voice comes out too rough. “Your… your scent is—”
Her eyes widen.
“Oh.”
“I’ll clean up the glass,” I say quickly, turning before I wrap her in my arms. “Just.. stay in the bathroom. Don’t come out until I say. Please?”
She doesn’t argue and disappears into the other room. The moment the door shuts, I exhale and almost collapse.
Thal?n, her scent. She smells like heat—like actual mating heat.
I shove both hands through my hair, clawing through the tangles like they're to blame. Blood runs down my forehead, and I realize I've gone too far.
One thing at a time, Andrik. Focus. Clean the glass. Don’t storm in there and press her against the shower wall.
I have three pieces of glass left when I notice something purple tied around the brick. It’s a ribbon, and beneath it, a note. Tied like a thrahking gift. Like it didn’t almost just smash my mate’s head. My blood goes cold, and I rip the paper free:
“She still screams so pretty. Next time, I’ll make sure you’re not there to stop it.” -Anonymous.
“Veyl'skar ves kai'virun—thrae'nai ves kael'morin narh.
Ael'theln ves kaev?n thrae'sael?n—vel?n kai'morin ves thrak'narn.
Thrae'virun ves kael—narh veyl'skar ves thrae'l?n kai'sael?n.” ( I'll rip out their eyes and make them watch as I rut her into my furs—until the bond brands her in my name.
Only then will they know what her true screams sound like.)
My vision tunnels as I crumple the note in my fist. I shove the bathroom door open
“Lumi—”
She turns toward me, startledly as the steam curls around her like a veil, but it’s not enough. She’s completely bare. Water slicks down her skin, tracing every curve and pooling in places I can't look away from.
I choke.
Thrahk. Why did I come in here again?
Her eyes widen. One arm lifts on instinct, but not before I see everything.
“ I—I thought you wanted me to stay away from you?” she stammers, fumbling for a towel.
The bond slams into me like a god’s fist to my ribs, twisting everything in my chest.
“Why did you—” she starts again.
“The brick,” I rasp, swaying. I hold out the crumpled note with a shaking hand. “There was a message.”I watch as her face drains of color. She ties a towel around herself, but I’m not looking at her body anymore. All I see is her fear. Rage rears inside me, hotter than before.
Trembling fingers reach out and grab the note from my palm. She scans over the note, knuckles turning white. “God,” she whispers. “They were watching us.”
I nod once. My jaw aches from clenching so hard.
“I’m not scared of them.” She lies.
“I am,” I step closer. “Because next time, I might not make it in time. And I can’t—” My voice breaks. “I can’t lose you again.”
Her damp hand finds my arm, and she pulls me into the steam. The bond snaps so taut between us, it nearly drops me to my knees.
She’s naked, and kaemorin. But someone out there wants to hurt her.
The two truths war inside me—one demanding I claim. The other demands I kill.
I rip myself away before I give in, stumbling toward the hallway.
“Get dressed, Sael?n. I need to check the perimeter.”
She makes no attempt to move. Ignoring me completely.
“Lumi, did you hear me?”
“I don't understand,” she says. I spin to face her. “You want me, but you won’t touch me. We’re fated mates, but every time we get close, you stop it.”
“Do you think this is easy for me?” My voice comes out rougher than I intended. “You think I want to stop?”
“Then don’t.”
I take one step. Then another. Until her heat is burning against my skin.
“There is nothing I want more, in this world or the next, than to claim you.” I lower my head, voice barely a rasp. “But I will not put my desire ahead of your safety. I would burn the world down to keep you safe.”
“You’re scared of what will happen if the bond takes over, but I’m not,” she blurts as I turn to walk away.
This sweet, stubborn human has no idea what it requires for our bond to be sanctified by the gods.
I can’t claim her in this form, in this room, or while a monster watches from the dark.
The first time must be in my true form, in the sacred mating circle in the forest. When the bond snaps fully into place, it’ll throw her into heat for days, weeks, maybe.
That’s if she follows Rhavari rules, which she clearly doesn't. I can already scent her heat stirring.
We waited too long, and now she's going to suffer for it.
Her eyes are still locked on mine when she drops her towel to the floor.
My gaze drags down her body: neck, breasts, hips, thighs—
Thal?n, hold me, or I will brand her with my kaev?n right here and now.
I tear my eyes away.
“Put something on, Lumi,” I rasp, “before I do something neither of us will be able to stop.”
She doesn’t move. Just stands there defiantly.
“Lumi,” I warn.
She ignores me.
With a curse under my breath, I snatch the towel from the floor and wrap it around her. My hands shake as I tuck it in, fists trembling where they graze her skin.
“Clothes. Now.” I guide her toward the bedroom, one hand on the small of her back—the only place I dare to touch. “Hat, boots, and coat. It’s cold outside.”
Thrahk, I hate this.
I hate the way her eyes dim when I don’t touch her. I hate the confusion in her voice when she asks why I keep stopping. I hate that I sound like a cold bastard when all I want is to give her everything.
But there’s a monster out there who wants to hurt her, and I will not let my desperation be the reason she’s exposed. So I’ll be the wall she crashes into. The silence she misunderstands. I’ll be the one who says no—even if it kills me.
I’d carve my own heart out if it meant hers stayed beating.
She can hate me later. At least she’ll be alive to hate me.
I scent the rejection curling from her skin as she dresses behind me. It burns my nose like acid.
When she steps back out, I catch her wrist before she passes. Gently, I cup her face. My thumb brushes her cheek.
“When this is over,” I whisper, forehead lowering to hers. “I’m going to worship every inch of you. But right now, I need you safe.”
The moment she realizes it isn’t denial, but protection, her whole demeanor changes.
She nods once, and we make our way out of her apartment.
The street is silent. No footsteps in the fresh snow. No strange scents. Nothing to explain the twisting in my gut.
I pace the perimeter of the building. I should shift and run the rooftops, but I can’t leave her, and I doubt she wants to ride me like a sleigh-hound.
My eyes keep going back to the building directly across from hers. Something in my gut won’t let it go. “I think he was on that roof.” She follows my gaze to the building across from hers—four stories, with a fire escape winding up the side.
“Stay close,” I murmur, reaching for her hand. Her fingers lace through mine—small and warm against my frozen palm.
We cross the street in silence. Every shadow makes my hackles rise. Every flicker of movement has my claws itching to extend.
I stop at the base of the fire escape and scan the metal rungs. There are fresh scrapes in the frost. Someone used this recently.
“Can you climb? It’s slippery.” I ask, glancing back at her.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“You go first,” I murmur. “I’ll be right behind you.”
My hand hovers at her lower back as she climbs—ready to catch her if she slips. As soon as her feet touch down, I exhale.
It’s empty, but not clean. Boot prints scatter the rooftop. Pacing patterns worn deep, like someone couldn't stop circling.
The prints cross at the edge by the fire escape, double back toward the far vent, curve toward the chimney, and then trail off toward the spot directly across Lumi’s bedroom window.
My chest tightens, and a low growl coils in my throat.
“Andrik?” she whispers.
“Yes, Sael?n?” Before she can answer, I cut her off. “I don’t think they were watching through the window.”
“Why?” she asks.
“I closed your curtains long before the brick was thrown. I think they were up here to make sure it hit exactly where we were.”
“So how did they know where we were?”
“That’s the part I’m not sure about. Do you have any enemies? Anyone who would want to hurt you?”
Tears pool in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have any enemies. Not after last night.”
“Do you want to talk—” I start.
‘“I really don't,” she cuts in. “You killed Anna’s murderer. There’s no one left to come after me.”
Why can’t I scent them? How did they get the brick past my ward? None of this makes any sense.
“How do they keep getting away without leaving a trace?”
“I don’t know, but this isn't normal. There's no scent, no residual energy, no broken lock or busted latch. If it weren’t for the brick and the bootprints, I’d think I was imagining it.”
“He knows where I sleep,” she says quietly.
My body tenses around her, arms locking like steel around her back.
“You won’t be sleeping here anymore, Lumi. You’re coming back to the cabin.” I tell her. “He doesn’t just know where you sleep. He was inside your house. He made you tea—”
“He what?”
I wince. “When I got to your apartment, there was a cup of chamomile on your nightstand. Still warm. I—I shattered the mug. I’m sorry.”