Chapter 16
Scott came out to his parents at sixteen.
His mom wept, then pulled him into a tight hug. His dad went very quiet, saying nothing for a long time.
“As long as you behave like a man,” he said at last, his lips twisting. “I don’t care who you sleep with, as long as you don’t embarrass this family or act like those limp-wristed sissies who take it up the ass.”
Unease settled low in Scott’s stomach, but he knew this was a better reaction than what most gay teenagers got from their parents. They didn’t disown him. In their own way, they were even supportive—as long as he still behaved like a man.
Looking back, Scott knew his dad’s words had messed him up. They had shaped the way he’d conducted himself in all his relationships.
But he wasn’t sixteen anymore. He was twenty-eight, a grown adult who knew better. Rationally, he knew taking it up the ass wouldn’t make him less of a man. He knew it.
But—
“Second thoughts?” Cam said.
“No,” Scott said, rolling onto his back and meeting Cam’s dark eyes.
The anxiety under his skin eased a little.
Cam had that effect on him, which was always both comforting and maddening.
Right now, when he was naked and was about to be fucked in the ass for the first time in his life, it was immensely comforting.
“You’re barely hard,” Cam stated, his eyes flicking down to Scott’s crotch as he pushed his own jeans down and kicked them off along with his boxer briefs.
Unlike him, Cam was very very hard. Cam wanted him.
Scott licked his lips and averted his gaze. “Never mind it. It’s not you. I want to do it.”
The look Cam shot him was distinctly skeptical but he didn’t argue. He pushed Scott’s thighs wide and settled between them.
Christ. Seeing his own long, muscular legs spread like a whore’s, pushed wide by Cam’s hips… it looked so fucking wrong. Taboo.
Scott braced himself and watched Cam prod between his legs with lubed fingers. “Just do it,” he said, breathing unsteadily.
“No,” Cam said, pushing a slick finger into him. “Lay down and be quiet.”
“It’s lie down,” Scott managed as another finger joined the first.
“What?”
“It’s lie down, not lay down,” Scott said. “You lay something down. You lie down yourself.”
Cam shot him an incredulous look before laughing. “You are the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met. Only you would discuss grammar with three fingers in your ass.”
“I’m just trying to distract myself,” Scott said.
Cam’s eyes softened. “I know. It’s not too late to back out, Scotty.”
Scotty. He loved how Cam said the nickname.
Scott shook his head and stared at the ceiling. “I’m fine. Just do it. Let’s get it over with.”
He heard Cam exhale. Then there was the sound of the condom wrapper.
“Tell me if it hurts,” Cam said curtly. “I’m big.”
“I know, champ,” Scott said, still looking at the ceiling.
“Scott. You will tell me.”
Huffing a laugh, Scott said, “Okay, whatever, just get on with it.”
His legs were spread wider and then there was pressure against his asshole.
His stomach clenched.
Men don’t take it up the ass.
Scott quashed the annoying voice in his head and glared at the ceiling, his jaw locked as the cock pushed inside him.
Oh god. It was too much.
It was too big.
So fucking long.
He could do this, damn it. He could. Twinks half his weight had taken his dick like pros.
“Okay?” Cam ground out as he bottomed out and went still, stroking Scott’s thigh soothingly.
“Yeah,” Scott said, meeting Cam’s dark, glazed eyes.
Cam was enjoying this. He was making Cam feel good. The thought was heady, distracting enough to make him stop fixating on the uncomfortable, strange stretch in his asshole.
“Go ahead,” Scott said softly. “Fuck me.”
Cam’s brows furrowed. He looked at Scott’s mostly soft dick and reached for it, but Scott grabbed his hand, stopping him. “No.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Cam ground out but he did start moving carefully. “You think it’ll make you less of a man if you get off on being fucked?”
Sometimes Scott really hated how well Cam understood him.
“I want it like this,” Scott said mulishly. He didn’t let go of Cam’s hand. Didn’t want to.
Cam’s dark eyes searched his face. “So what, you just want to lie like that and let me use you like a sex doll?”
A jolt of heat shot through him, making his dick twitch and start hardening. Fuck.
Cam raised his eyebrows, clearly noticing the effect his words had on him. “All right,” he said, his gaze intent. “If that’s how you want it.” Leaning forward, he dropped his weight fully on top of Scott, pressing their clasped hands by Scott’s head.
Scott whimpered, overwhelmed by how utterly helpless he was in this position: crushed under the weight of the other man while his hard cock drilled relentlessly into him, using Scott like a toy for his pleasure.
“Is this what gets you off?” Cam ground out by his ear. “Someone using you? Not giving a shit about your pleasure, just taking what they want?”
Scott moaned, unable to think clearly anymore. He wasn’t even sure if he liked the relentless hammering his asshole was receiving, but he’d never been harder in his life, his head empty of all thought. His nipples ached from Cam’s hairy chest brushing against them, his cock throbbing with need.
“Look at you, just lying there passively, like a wet hole.” Cam thrust into him. And then again. “And you love it. Don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Scott gasped out. “Please.”
“Please what, doll?”
Arousal zipped through him. “Don’t stop.”
Cam didn’t stop, his thick cock pistoning into him with obscene, wet sounds.
It was too fucking much, the weight of him, the pressure, but Scott couldn’t get enough.
He’d never felt more helpless—or more turned on—in his life.
He arched his tits and Cam latched onto a nipple and sucked, making Scott whine from overstimulation.
He imagined being a real sex doll—something Cam had chosen in a sex shop and then brought home to fuck.
He imagined Cam groping him, groping his tits and ass while he couldn’t move at all, just lying there helplessly as Cam fucked his mouth and then fucked his asshole, using him like the wet hole he was—just a toy bought for his pleasure—a fleshlight for Cam’s cock—
Scott came with a ragged moan, his dick completely untouched.
“Fuck,” Cam ground out, his hips starting to thrust harder and faster, the headboard slamming into the wall with the force of his thrusts. “Scotty.” He groaned against Scott’s cheek and came, his hips still moving weakly as if he couldn’t quite stop.
Scott shivered and turned his head, seeking Cam’s lips like a blind kitten seeking affection, guided more by instinct than thought. His breath caught when he finally found them, a soft, relieved sound slipping out, the simple contact steadying something fragile inside him.
Cam indulged him without hesitation, meeting him halfway and then giving more, slow and patient.
The kiss deepened. Cam’s hand came up to cradle the back of his neck, his thumb brushing gently along his skin, grounding him.
He kissed Scott again and again, soft presses that grew warmer, more reassuring than urgent, until Scott’s restless tension began to loosen and the floaty, needy feeling slowly ebbed away, replaced by a calm, steady warmth that settled deep in his chest.
When Scott opened his eyes, he found Cam watching him already from a few inches away.
“Okay?” Cam said, his expression searching.
Scott blinked, feeling like he’d just woken up from a bizarre dream.
Was he okay? He felt very far from okay. He felt like—like he’d just lost his virginity, which was beyond ridiculous. He had to literally bite his tongue to stop himself from asking how good it had been for Cam. Ridiculous. He’d never suffered from insecurity when it came to sex.
“Yeah,” he said, shifting a little to the left so their foreheads pressed together. His fingers tangled in Cam’s hair. He hooked his leg over Cam’s and breathed in, wanting to swallow the air Cam was exhaling. “Can we… we’re doing it again, right?”
“Do you want to?”
Scott tugged at Cam’s hair playfully. “I asked you first, mister.”
Cam chuckled, his hand coming up to poke at the spot on Scott’s cheek where he knew his dimple was. “I asked you second,” Cam said, lifting his gaze back to Scott’s eyes. He looked at him steadily. “You got off on being used.”
With any other man, Scott would have turned it into a joke or deflected. But Cam had this bizarre effect on him: he made him feel like Scott could tell him anything.
“Yeah,” Scott said, scrunching his nose. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“Why would I laugh at you? I don’t kink shame.”
Scott snorted and buried his face in Cam’s shoulder. “Oh, shut up,” he muttered without heat. “I know you’re laughing at me.”
“I bought you a bra and made you wear it for me,” Cam said dryly. “I’m hardly in a position to judge.”
Scott laughed. “Fair enough.”
Cam’s hand started stroking along his spine, and Scott nearly purred from how good it felt. He squirmed even closer to Cam and sighed happily when Cam wrapped both of his arms around him.
“How was it for you?” Scott muttered into Cam’s neck. “I’m not the straight guy who’s had sex with a man for the first time.”
Cam hummed. “Surprisingly, I don’t feel any different.”
“No gay freakout?”
“No gay freakout.”
“Huh,” Scott murmured. “Nice. Then again, this is hardly the first time you put your dick in me.”
Cam chuckled. They fell silent, a warm, companionable silence that made Scott’s chest feel so fucking full. He never wanted to move. He wanted to stay in Cam’s arms forever.
“Scotty.”
“Mmm?”
“We need some ground rules if we keep doing this.”
Scott forced his eyelids open and pulled back just enough to meet Cam’s gaze. “What do you mean?”
Cam’s expression was serious. “I know you ‘fall in love’ easily—and how fast you fall out of it once you’ve slept with your latest conquest. I don’t want to be one of them. I’m your friend, not your fling of the day.”
Scott blinked slowly. “I… I don’t understand.”
Cam brushed his fingers through Scott’s hair, his gaze steady on him. “Don’t ‘fall in love’ with me. If we do this, we’re just good friends who fuck. Understand?”
Biting his bottom lip, Scott nodded. That seemed fair enough. “Okay,” he said, burying his fingers in Cam’s dark hair and pulling him closer. “Don’t fall in love with you—got it. Now kiss me.”
Cam kissed him, and the world dissolved into static, leaving only the heat of his mouth.
God, Scott wanted to consume him, swallow the air Cam was exhaling.
He wanted him back inside of him. As deep as physically possible.
“I’m so horny already,” Scott said against Cam’s lips. Want you. “Fuck me again?”
“Okay,” Cam said, and did just that.
Thoroughly.