24. Chapter 24
Chapter 24
Milo
When Rose calls me, as I’m finishing my work on the company reimbursements for the day, I answer right away.
“How’s the big event going?” she asks in a casual tone, but there’s a bracing in her voice.
“My part is finished. All the employees from the other locations are eating at the resort tonight and then they’ll go back home tomorrow.” I exit out of the program I’ve been working on and lean back in my chair, loving the sound of her voice through the phone.
“I, too, have been freed from the clutches of the nine to five. Just driving home now.”
“Am I on speaker?” I ask.
When she says yes, I continue. “Callum? Hi!”
I hear Callum say hi back. He starts jabbering in his breathy, chipmunk voice. My chest warms.
He grows quiet when he’s distracted by the big “twuffs” passing them on the two-lane Lakeside Road. “How are you?” I ask Rose.
She pauses. “Gearing up to practice my crib-building skills.”
“That sounds fun.”
She laughs. “I bought a used one and haven’t had a chance to put it together. Callum’s been sleeping in my bed with me since day one, pretty much. I have a bassinet for my bedside, but he wanted to sleep near me, which was easier anyway.”
“And now you’re ready for him to try a crib?”
“He’s getting so big. And it hurts when he kicks me in the night!” She sighs. “But part of me is hoping he’s not ready to transition to a crib yet because I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“I can see how it would be kind of nice to have him co-sleep. Still, you might like having your bed back.” Against my control, now I’m thinking of Rose in bed.
A feeling of unease washes over me. I told her I wanted to try things out between us temporarily, slowly. But will I ever get to the point where I’m okay with this scenario? Nothing about my feelings for Rose are casual.
After we talk for a few minutes, I hear her turn off her car. “Well, I’m home now, so I’d better go.”
“Can I come and help you set up the crib?”
“Do you have any crib-building skills?”
“I slept in a crib when I was a baby. Does that count?”
She giggles. “Absolutely. You’re practically an expert.”
“Okay, then. I’m on my way.” But I don’t want to hang up yet.
She talks to Callum, kissing him while she gets him out of his car seat. Sounds like the phone is wedged between her shoulder and ear. I hear her breathing as she hefts Callum close to her, and I imagine him sitting on her hip. I hear her footsteps as she walks up the sidewalk to her front door.
“You still there?” she asks through the phone.
“I am. Do you have the tools you’ll need? My brothers have some we can use.”
“Please, Milo. I’m a single mom. Of course I have tools.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry for making assumptions.” I chuckle.
“It’s okay.” She hesitates, lowering her voice. “Just because I have the tools doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like the help, or the company.”
The wistfulness in her voice makes the decision for me.
“I’m on my way, then. Can’t wait to see you.”
“Can’t wait to see you, Milo. Thanks.” I can hear her moving around her apartment. It’s an appealing thought, thinking of her at home. I like thinking of her anywhere doing anything, but there’s something so familiar—comforting—thinking about hanging out with her at home like I’ve been doing, helping her with Callum, playing card games, watching TV. I’d give up any other weeknight activity for that.
“Random question,” I say before hanging up. “Do you lock your apartment door?”
“Of course I do. I have a kid.”
“Sorry, that makes sense.”
“Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that, I sort of like you two. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. I want you to be protected.” I knead my forehead. I know things are supposed to be light between us, so maybe I shouldn’t stay stuff like this. That doesn’t mean I’m going to take it back.
She doesn’t answer, making me wonder if I’ve overstepped. “Sorry if that was out of line. I just want you to be safe.”
“It’s not out of line. It’s actually sorta great.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Should I install a security system?” Her voice holds mock anxiety. “Maybe I should hire Henry to be my bodyguard.”
“That’s an excellent idea. I feel better already.”
“Ha. Never. I’m my own woman, dude. I’ve been protecting myself since I was a kid. My siblings and I figured out how to do that. We had passwords we’d say through the door to each other to be let in since our mom was at work a lot of the time.”
Rose’s independence appeals to me, and I love her strength. Still, again, this feeling of protectiveness surges through me. “That’s a good idea. I want a passcode.”
She laughs. “How about a two-word phrase? The thing that you should not have sat in seven months ago.” She’s holding back a laugh, her voice teasing.
“Fine,” I mutter. “I hear you loud and clear.”
I finish up things at work, log off my computer, and get caught by a coupIe of my brothers on my way out, so by the time I reach her apartment complex, I’m dying to see her.
Who am I kidding? I was dying to see her the moment I woke up this morning. There are several cars parallel parked out front, so I have to park a ways down
the street.
As I near her door, I hear a lot of noise coming from her apartment—people talking, kids squealing and running around.
After I knock, I hear her voice through the door. “Passcode please,” she says in a businesslike way. Before I can give it to her, she giggles and then yells away from the door. It’s muffled but I can hear her. “Be quiet, would you? I’m trying to hear a passcode!”
I stifle a laugh.
“Yes?” she says against the door. “Only those who know the passcode may enter.”
I sigh. I kind of hate having to say it. “Baby swing.”
The door opens and she’s standing there in her pink and white polka-dot pajamas, a radiant smile on her face, her hair in a big, wild bun on top of her head. Callum’s nowhere to be found. Instead, she’s got a smaller baby on one hip and an older toddler near her other leg.
“Come on in and join our circus.” She rolls her eyes as she opens the door wider to let me in.
“Sorry to crash your party.” I’m guessing these are family members, but I wasn’t prepared to meet them. She’s implied she wasn’t ready for that.
“You’re getting a crash course on all things Hawkins,” she says happily, although I feel like I know her enough to see her inner anguish at the chaos. She introduces me to both of her sisters, Eden and Leila, and their eight total children.
They seem cautious about me, like they had no idea I was coming and know nothing about me. To be fair, my family doesn’t know much about Rose, either.
The voices are loud. The music is loud. And a lot of kids need things at the same time. I catch a glimpse of Callum amongst some of his cousins and when he sees me, he grins from ear to ear and toddles over to me, his arms wide.
Basically, I could die happy right now.
I pick him up and spin him around as he starts speaking excitedly in baby gibberish. How was it only two nights ago that I saw him? It feels like a week.
Amidst the noise, Rose meets my gaze. She looks at Callum in my arms and there’s a flash between us—like when you’re balancing two sides of a scale and things finally reconcile. It’s crazy, but it almost feels like we’re a family sliding into place. Balancing itself out.
We settle in the living room, kids and sisters everywhere you look.
“So, tell us about yourself,” Leila asks. She has dark-red hair, and her hazel eyes remind me of Rose’s.
Before I can answer, Eden interrupts. “And what are your intentions with our sister?” She scowls before softening in a smile. “Kidding! We’re just glad she’s getting back out there after that pus-filled cyst named Blaine.” Her face is triumphant, and she flicks back her dark hair. She looks a little older than Rose.
“Hey, that’s Callum’s father you’re talking about,” Leila says. “We need to be careful about little ears.”
“Oh, my kids know I hate him after the way he treated Rose,” Eden retorts. “And Callum’s too young to understand.”
Leila’s eyes are wide as she takes her baby from Rose’s arms. “I’m just saying,” she whispers. “Maybe don’t go all crazy within five minutes of Milo Tate being here.”
Eden scowls. “I’m not! If anything, I’m letting him know the expectations.” She appraises me. “If you hurt our Rosie, be prepared to be called a pus-fill cyst, that’s all.” She shrugs, her smile shrewd.
“You guys. Can you please just not?” Rose says, squeezing in between the armrest and me. Her side is pressed up against me, her intoxicating softness under the pink polka-dot flannel nearly rendering me mute.
“Eden is fiercely loyal,” Rose tells me. “Love it, but she has a reputation for revenge.”
“You don’t even want to know what I bribed someone to slip into her—” Eden points to Leila. “Baby daddy’s coffee one time.”
Leila smiles for the first time since I got here. “Wish it would have been cyanide, but . . .”
The two sisters cackle with laughter and continue with one extreme statement after another. Rose has her arm around my shoulders, sinking even closer to me. Between that and Callum’s solid perch on my lap, his weight growing heavy against my chest the sleepier he gets, I’m having a hard time keeping up with the threads of conversations amongst them all.
After a while, Thorin trots in, his mouth open in a smile. He wiggles his butt before settling in front of me, politely pawing my knees until I pull him closer to me and start to pet him. He keeps scooting closer until his paws are on my thighs and his warm body is flush with my shins. Callum leans over to rub his neck and droopy ears.
“I had no idea they were coming,” Rose whispers to me as her sisters attend to the kids.
“They’re great.”
Rose eyes me, searching my expression. Finally she says, “They are. They’re just a lot to take in all at once. I wish you could have met them one at a time.”
“Wish Mom could have been here.” Eden pauses to referee a mild disagreement between two of the kids. I’m not sure if they’re cousins or siblings. “She’s working a double at the grocery store today.”
“Yep, Mom’s a manager there now,” Rose says.
“And then there’s our brother, Grant,” Leila says. “I think he’s spending time with his kid tomorrow, so he’s trying to get some extra hours in at his construction job.”
“We’re solidly blue collar,” Eden says, her chin in the air. “What about you? What do you do, Milo? I’m assuming something at Tate International, as well?”
How do I even answer that? I’d love to be able to one day say author, but for now?
“Yes, I work at Tate, too.”
“I’m guessing you don’t work in housekeeping. Your shoes are too nice for that.” Eden’s face brightens in a smile, but she eyes me carefully. “I’m kidding of course. A Tate would never clean hotel rooms. You two sound like you’re from the plot of a rom- com, huh? Something about the hotel housekeeper and the rich guy who owns the place.”
I don’t own the place, and I’m not exactly rich, but I can see how they’re getting the wrong idea about Rose and me. They think we’re too different to be together. I know, in my gut, that’s wrong. I know we could make it work if she’d give us a shot. But I can see the uphill battle that’s boxing us in from all sides.
Before I can respond, Rose pipes up. “We’re not super serious or anything.”
I nod, knowing it’s true, but my middle sinks. I don’t want it to be true. And I’m going to do everything I can to allow our relationship to deepen. I can be patient, but it’s what I want.
“Be careful, Rosie,” Eden says. “Keep it that way. Guys like him don’t stay interested in women like us for very long. You know the drill.”
“I won’t lose interest . . .” I cast a glance at her, lingering longer than I’d planned but not being able to help myself. “If anything, she’ll get sick of me.”
Rose gives me a look while her sisters croon with aww s.
She opens her mouth, maybe to tell me I’m crazy or maybe to say something that might give me hope for our future, but Eden interrupts.
“Has Rose told you her harebrained scheme?”
“I don’t think we need to talk about that right now,” Rose says, inching away from me slightly and clearing her throat.
“I just have to prepare him for the fact that you’re not going to be working there forever,” Eden says.
“Well, everyone knows that. It’s not really a forever kind of job.”
“Our Rosie is going to be a nephrology nurse, Milo.” She tilts her head and appraises Rose with a mix of affection and disbelief. “A Hawkins becoming a nurse.” And then I hear the sarcasm. “Can you imagine?”
Rose shifts in her seat, her mouth in a twisted, hard line.
“I’m excited about it,” Leila says. “It’s going to be nice having a medical professional in the family.”
“I’ve had my fair share of medical stuff, because of T.J.” Eden’s gaze goes to the floor, and she pats her baby’s back as she shifts her to her shoulder.
The nephew who passed away must have been Eden’s son. “Rose has mentioned a little about T.J. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s been four years,” Rose says tightly as Eden bounces the baby, not meeting our gazes.
Rose had explained how that experience fueled her desire to become a nurse; how it completely changed her.
Eden’s eyes brim with tears. “He would have turned nine this year.”
There’s a long stretch of time where we’re all mostly quiet, the only sounds coming from the children going in and out of the room.
Finally, I can’t wait any longer to say what’s been forming in my head, itching to be expressed. “I think it’s noble that Rose is going to be making such a difference in the world. I’m really proud of her.”
“Hasn’t happened yet,” Rose’s voice is almost apologetic. “But I’m looking forward to it.”
“Answer me this, though,” Eden says. “How is a single mother supposed to go to nursing school so far from home? I’m not trying to discourage her. But to look at this practically, I don’t know how this is going to work. And I just want to protect her. I’d hate for her to get into it and then have to quit when it gets too hard to manage.”
Rose stiffens. “I’ll manage just fine. Callum’s going to be fine, too. UNC will provide childcare when I’m in classes and my internship.”
“Who has the money for that?” Eden asks. “You know we’d help you watch him if it wasn’t on the other side of the country.”
“The funding is partially subsidized, so it won’t be that bad,” Rose says. “And I know you would.”
“Leaving us for a dream so crazy?” Leila says, shaking her head. Her tone is more sorrowful than Eden’s. She looks at me. “The thought of it is killing our mom. She just wants her family to be all together.”
“I’ll probably come back to work here in Colorado after the program ends. It’s going to be fine. Look, I need you guys to make your peace with it and be happy for me. I’m doing this.”
“We are,” Leila insists. “We’re pained at the amount of debt you’ll incur. But we’re happy for you.”
“If you’re happy for me, you can stop offering unsolicited advice,” Rose shoots back.
“Not everybody is able to follow their dreams, Rose.” Eden’s tone is menacing. It curls around the air, like an age-old argument that’s never resolved. “That you’re taking so many liberties to make all your dreams come true is . . . well . . . refreshing and also infuriating.”
I stand, Thorin’s front paws sliding off my legs. I bounce Callum on my hip as if he’s getting fussy. He’s not. He’s perfectly content. But I feel the bile rising inside of me. I have to say something.
“I personally think she’s going to be an incredible nurse.”
Rose’s tongue clicks in surprise and her sisters grow quiet.
“She’s intelligent,” I go on, schooling my tone as much as I possibly can. I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but I want to make some things clear here. “And driven, and determined. She’s going to help so many people. You should see her at the resort. She’s good at her job. I’ve been around her enough that I could make a list of fifty things that make her qualified to be a nurse. She’s great at managing people. She’s kind, but not too soft on people, you know?”
“Milo,” Rose kneads the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. “You don’t have to say—”
I adjust Callum to my other side. “It’s all true, though.”
“Rose will make an excellent nurse,” Leila says, her gaze on her baby.
“She will.” Eden gets up, her mouth in a thin line, and calls for her kids, asking them to come. “We’d better get going to Tollark. You sure you don’t want to come, Rose? You could bring Milo if you want.”
Rose thanks them for the invitation but tells them we can’t come. The sisters leave, gathering their kids and their things in a flurry of shouts and hugs and laughter.
And now we’re left alone, just me, Callum, Thorin, and Rose.
The air between us is thick.
Is Rose . . . upset?