Chapter Seven Kai
When Monday comes, it feels like the last forty-eight hours have been some sort of strange dream. Connor is sitting at his desk next to me and I hand him a cup of coffee from downstairs as I sit down. He lets out an obnoxious moan when he takes the first sip.
“You’re irreplaceable.”
“I know.” I wink, powering on the monitor.
“How was your weekend?” he asks.
I glance at him for a moment. I spent the day on the couch with Jenna yesterday. When I walked into the kitchen on Sunday morning, she had eyed me with arched eyebrows. When I’d left Anant’s party, I hadn’t told her all the details, just that she had my location and I’d be fine. I told her about everything that happened, and she squealed, kicking her feet excitedly. I had to calm her down by explaining it was a one-time thing even if the admission made my stomach sink.
Now, I turn back to Connor and he’s still looking at me expectantly. I clear my throat. “Yeah, the weekend was great. Nothing too crazy happened.”
Even if Jenna doesn’t believe me, it was a one-time thing. We all just got caught up in the moment and when I realised that; I knew I had to leave. Levi is technically my boss even if I’m not in his line of reporting plus Cole’s father literally owns A-EYE. I can’t afford to mess this up for myself because I’m desperate for some dick–no matter how beautiful that dick is.
But a part of me knows there’s more to it than my job.
There was something about the way both Cole and Levi made me feel. From the moment they kissed me on the rooftop, I felt it, my complete surrender. When Cole told me to get on my knees for Levi, I did it almost robotically, like I had stopped thinking.
It was disconcerting, the feeling of not being in control of anything I did. Yet, as disconcerting as it was, it felt good, like getting to taste something forbidden and becoming ravenous.
I want more, I know that, but I shouldn’t.
“Hmm,” Connor hums next to me. “Something about you is different.”
I give him a level look, feigning indifference.
“Did you get laid?” he asks quietly.
“What? No,” I say because technically I didn’t. I sucked Levi’s dick and God it was so good. I’m almost embarrassed at how enthusiastic I was.
“Okay, Kai Thomas, whatever you say.” He eyes me for a second before he turns back to his computer without another word. I take that as permission to get stuck into my own work.
As the morning goes on, I try my best to banish thoughts of Levi and Cole or anything that happened Saturday night. I force myself to forget the lightness I felt, my empty thoughts and the feeling of the present. I forget the way heat pooled inside me, the way they both looked at me like I was something to ruin—how badly I wanted to be ruined.
It was a mistake, and they have probably moved on anyway.
By the time I’m in a meeting with Marie and the rest of the team, I’ve almost forgotten about it all until my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Levi Bellamy: Hi Kai, :) Dinner tonight?
I stare at it for a long moment unsure what to do or say. I didn’t expect to hear from him at all. Throughout the day, I managed to convince myself that Saturday was some wild exception for them, that they were open to experiment but that was the end of it. I could ease my crush, and they could… I don’t know what they both wanted.
I keep looking at my screen, no clue what to say even though I know I should respond soon.
“You good?” Connor asks me from across the table.
I look up at him and then back at my phone. “Yeah, all good,” I say even though I sound like nothing is good.
He nods and stands to leave. I think he says goodbye but I’m too focused on the phone in my hand.
Finally, I type a response because whilst I’m sure this was all a heat-of-the-moment situation, dinner might help clear the air. Maybe this will be some sort of closure even though I was pretty okay with them forgetting I exist.
Me: Sure. Where?
I figure that sounds casual enough. Casual. Chill. Like me.
Levi Bellamy: Our place? 7 p.m.
The fact that it’s at their place makes things harder. The memories of them kissing me flood my mind and suddenly I am hot all over, but I can handle this. They will tell me Saturday was a mistake and I’ll forget this ever happened. Easy.
Me: See you then
By the time 7 p.m. comes, I’m freshly showered and standing in front of the navy-blue door with a golden knocker. The evening is bitingly cold, the streets wet after smatterings of rain. This area of London is quiet, with expensive cars lining the streets that lead to refurbished townhouses and Georgian terrace homes.
My heart is in my throat when the door swings open and a short woman with grey hair looks up at me with a bright smile. “You must be Kai,” she says warmly. “I’m Aleeta. Come in and get out of the cold.”
She moves aside to let me in and I almost gasp when I step into the entrance hall. I didn’t get the chance to fully take in their home on Saturday but it’s like I’ve been thrust into an Architectural Digest magazine. Light herringbone tiles are covered by a blue Turkish rug and the staircase is lit up by golden lights that are set at the sides.
But it’s not the rug or the stairs that catches my eye. It’s the small gallery of photos on the wall, placed above an antique table that holds different sets of keys. I spot three BMWs. My eyes scan the wall, focusing on the black-framed pictures. A few are of Levi and Cole in what look like exotic locations, and others include who I guess are their families.
They seem to have this incredibly full life.
“They should be in the kitchen,” Aleeta says, pulling my attention away from the pictures. I give them one last look and follow behind her, swallowing down my nerves. I know how this is going to go but when I see them both, my heart stutters, the heat spreading up my throat to my face.
When I walk into the open-plan kitchen that leads into the huge living room, my throat feels a little dry. I was on my knees for Levi on Saturday and now I’m here so they can tell me it was a mistake. I try not to think about it as my eyes shift to Levi.
He’s in black shorts and a compression shirt that shows off the tattoos that run down his arms. His dark hair is slightly damp and messy like he’s just come from the gym or a run.
“Kai,” he says with a bright smile.
“Hey,” I say, my voice coming out a little hoarse.
My eyes fall on Cole. He’s sitting by the white marble breakfast counter that overlooks dark grey cupboards with silver hardware.
I realise I’ve been caught off guard every time I’ve seen Cole because nothing is wrong with him; everything is in perfect symmetry and so sharp. There is something assuredly beautiful about him like he’s looked like this all his life and never had to concern himself with anything as inconvenient as a pimple.
I realise I should probably stop ogling and say something else, just to avoid feeling awkward but Aleeta beats me to it.
“Are you hungry, Kai? I made paella.”
“You should try it, it’s amazing,” Cole says.
Honestly, I don’t think I could eat right now. I shake my head. “Oh, no thanks. Uh, I had a quick dinner before I left home.” It’s a lie but I don’t want to offend Aleeta.
She doesn’t look phased. Instead, she nods, that warm smile still on her face. “Next time then.”
There will be no next time, I think.
Her eyes fall on Levi and Cole who have somehow moved toward each other. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you two in the morning. Cole, I replaced your coffee beans with the new ones, from Costa Rica this time.”
Cole makes a face. “But I liked the Kenyan batch.”
The way he says it makes me feel warm. It’s cute—so unlike him. It makes him sound like a boy talking to his mother.
Aleeta rolls her eyes but there is unmistakable fondness in it. “You asked me to explore. This is exploring. You’ll love it.”
Cole doesn’t look convinced.
“This is why I stick to tea,” Levi chimes in. “Nice cup of Yorkshire. Simple and straightforward.”
I shift on my feet. It all seems so natural. Levi, Cole, Aleeta—they all fit in this beautiful house, with beautiful furniture and I try not to feel like an idiot for wanting to be part of it, even if it was just for a night.
“What’s your take?” Cole asks. It takes me a moment to realise he’s speaking to me, but his eyes are right on me before Levi and Aleeta also turn to face me.
“Uh, both. Coffee for energy and tea to relax,” I say. “Also, Twinings is the superior brand.” I turn to Levi, and he snorts.
“See, someone reasonable,” Aleeta winks conspiratorially at me, coming around the counter. “Good night, boys. It was lovely meeting you, Kai. I hope to see you soon.” And then she’s gone, her small frame scurrying out of the kitchen and leaving the three of us.
“Something to drink?” Levi asks.
I shake my head, desperate to get this over and done with now that Aleeta is gone. Levi turns to Cole, and they must communicate with their eyes because he shrugs and pours red wine into a single glass before he leans against the marble counter opposite Cole and me.
“I guess there’s no point in small talk,” Levi says after a moment. He looks surprisingly serious and my stomach knots. “We wanted to talk about Saturday,”
Words rush out of my mouth before I can stop them. “There’s no need,” I hear myself say. “I mean it’s okay. I get it, it was just some fun. I’m not expecting anything, and I wasn’t going to go around telling people about it or anything.”
Jenna doesn’t count.
Levi’s brow creases slightly then he smiles. “Oh, no, we weren’t worried about that.” He pauses as if thinking about his next words carefully. “But also Saturday was fun, and it made us both realise something we hadn’t before. I think we’ve wanted you for a while, Kai and I think you want us too,” he says. “So, we wanted to make a proposal.”
I swallow, not sure if I heard him correctly.
We’ve wanted you for a while, Kai…
How long is a while?
A tremor goes off inside me, disbelief and something like hope battling for dominance. I look between them, at Levi who looks slightly unsure and then at Cole whose face I can’t read. It’s hard to believe I’m not crazy, that I didn’t conjure up all of it through some desperate desire to be under them.
“A proposal?” I repeat.
“We want to fuck you,” Cole says simply. “Continue where we left off, but we keep it simple.”
I look at him, and I’m sure my eyes are bulging out of their sockets because no way this is happening.
“I know it’s a little complicated since I’m technically your boss, but you’re not in my line of reporting so it’s not something we’d have to disclose,” Levi says.
He’s right. Levi does not work in my department and if Erica, our manager hadn’t suggested we meet him, our paths may have never crossed except from afar.
I think about it for a second, about what they are really asking, my eyes focus on the black framed doors that lead out into the garden because I can’t look either of them in the eye right now. It’s dark now but the entire home has a beautiful golden glow to it. This kitchen and living room probably have more square footage than our flat.
They exist in a world that is so completely different from mine and after Saturday, I thought they might have made some kind of mistake, but my attraction to them both is painfully obvious. I’ve never wanted two people at once as much as I want them. I’ve never wanted anyone this much.
The thought of them fucking me has me burning up with want. As terrified as I am of how they made me feel, the surrender of my body even if it was just a few minutes, was good—safe. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that before.
I swallow, looking at both of them. “And you both want this?”
Levi laughs lightly like I just asked a silly question. “Have you seen yourself? Of course.”
Cole also smiles. “Definitely.”
I feel a little giddy at the compliment. A part of me can’t believe this is happening and another part feels the heat of desire begin to pool in my stomach. My dick is starting to wake up at the idea and I try to calm down because a boner is the last thing I need right now.
Questions flood my mind all at once. I don’t have any experience with any of this and I wonder if they’ve opened up their relationship before. I never got the feeling that they were polyamorous or anything. Cole seems way too possessive for that.
“So, it’ll be just sex, right?” I ask because they are the ones in a relationship and if we’re going to keep this simple, there can’t be any miscommunication.
“Right,” Levi says with a smile. “No strings attached and the moment either of us want to stop, all we have to do is say so. No hard feelings.”
Jenna and Connor keep going on about how I need to get laid, and they are probably right. Maybe this is what I need: mindless, casual sex with two extremely hot guys to blow off some steam.
“But before you say anything, we should probably discuss some terms,” Cole says.
I look up at him. “Terms?”
His smile is dangerous, the kind that has me shifting in my seat to distract myself from the fact that I desperately want to see him naked. He leans against the counter. I follow the movement, my throat going dry from the way his muscles straining against his t-shirt.
“What are you into, Kai?” he asks.
I look at him blankly.
No one has ever asked me that before and I’ve barely thought about it too.
I can’t say I’ve ever been into anything extreme. My experience is limited with both the women and men I’ve slept with. Most women liked it when I took charge, but I had one guy in uni who liked me under him and another who preferred to bottom whilst giving out instructions. Most of it has been good but never out there.
“I think I’m okay with most things,” I say after a second.
“Good,” Cole says, that smile still on his face, as if enjoying my squirming. “Because Levi and I like control. We can get–intense, I guess, but if you aren’t into something you can always say.”
The idea of them both fucking me has my mouth watering. I’m a fiend and they’ve barely touched me.
Levi looks at Cole and then at me, crossing his ankle over the other. “You don’t have to give us an answer right now. This is a lot so you should think about it,” he says. “We just thought we should clear the air and make sure you know what we want.”
I want to say I don’t need to think about it, but he is right. This isn’t exactly normal, and I need time to think about it without all the blood that is meant to aid my thinking travelling down to my dick.
So, I nod looking at both of them. “Okay,” I say, then huff out a laugh. “Honestly, this was not what I was expecting.”
“Really?” Cole asks. “Saturday wasn’t enough indication of how badly we wanted to fuck you?”
My jaw goes slack, and he smirks. There’s a danger to both of them, something behind their eyes that should send warning signals blaring through me. It tells me that I should run but I don’t think I can or even want to.
The small taste I got of them already has me hooked and saying yes to this could push me over. I can’t afford to let my guard down; I’ve known that since I was a child, so how can I be so desperate to let it go and let them ruin me?