Chapter Thirty Levi
It’s the opening of Anant’s family’s new hotel in Mayfair on Saturday night. Photographers line up outside the entrance, ready to snap pictures of any potential celebrities or high society members attending. Anant and Kez snap pictures in front of the billboard but Kai and I avoid the flashing cameras and head straight in.
The party is packed and it’s a chorus of voices and music, clamouring together in the art-deco-inspired refurbished lobby. A few people I haven’t seen in years come up to say hello, many of whom I haven’t seen since I began dating Cole.
Esme, a girl I slept with once, eyes Kai with hungry eyes when she says hello, her hand lingering on his shoulder when he hugs her hello.
“So, are you two dating?” she asks, manicured dark eyebrows lifted.
I pull Kai closer, and she snaps her hand away, meeting my eyes and having the decency to look a little embarrassed. “Oh, I see,” she says. “Well, be careful with this one,” she tells Kai. “He can be a little flighty.” With that she walks away, her dyed blond hair swishing behind her.
“How many of the people who have come up to say hi have you slept with?” Kai asks, a smile dancing on his lips.
Maybe three?
“Don’t slut shame me,” I murmur.
Kai laughs leaning into me before planting a kiss on my lips. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
When Anant and Kez finally manage to escape everyone trying to grab their attention, they come up to us, Anant pulling me into a tight hug. “Ah, mate, thank you for coming,” he says over the music. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
I hug him back just as tightly, happiness and pride swirling through me. “This all looks amazing,” I say. “You did a great job.”
Anant looks around at his work, eyes flashing. “You think so?”
I nod. We met at university, and we would party and do all sorts of drugs together. In many ways, he kept me afloat when I didn’t think I wanted to keep swimming. He’s been my best friend through all of it. I can only hope I’ve been the same for him.
Kez and Kai are stuck in an animated conversation as Anant tells me about an interior designer who flaked on him this morning. I’m listening when I spot Adam in the corner of my eye. He’s speaking to Anant’s mother, and she laughs at something he says. My entire body goes stiff, my fist tightening around my glass as I watch him walk away, disappearing into the crowd.
Next to me, Kai bumps my shoulder lightly. “Are you okay?” he asks, following my gaze.
I snap back to the present, shaking my head and smiling. “Yeah,” I say easily. I know there’s no way Anant or Kez invited him so he must be here with someone else just like at Anant’s party.
Even if he didn’t vandalise my car, I still feel slightly wary. He’s never going to realise what he did wrong or apologise for it. It stings to know that, but it’s not my fault he did what he did. I can move on, and he can burn in hell.
Kai scans my face for a second longer before leaning in to kiss the corner of my mouth. I smile, pulling him close to me, not wanting him to leave my side.
I feel a lot more anxious after last night. His drop seemed too sharp even if the sex got pretty intense. Something is wrong, something that’s making him believe we won’t want him anymore if he told us.
I hate it because I don't think there is anything under the sun that could make me not want him just as there isn’t anything that could ever pull me away from Cole.
It’s past nine in the evening, the sun only beginning to set outside when Kai reappears by my side with a slight frown on his face. His eyes are rimmed red like he’s been crying.
“Hey,” he says. “I need to make a quick call.”
I hold his hand before he can turn away, my heart racing in my chest. “Kai, what’s going on?”
He shakes his head, his lips slightly parted. “I just need a few minutes,” he says quietly. “Please?” The way he looks at me makes my insides falter. I open my mouth to stop him but before I can, his hand slips out of mine and he’s making his way through the crowd before I can get a word out.
Alarm bells go off in my head.
Something is up.
I start to follow after him, but my head begins to spin. It’s so sudden that I almost lose my balance, the dizzying feeling settling inside me in a quick spell. I scan the room, but I’ve lost Kai. It’s like he’s vanished into thin air.
Around me, the room spins, and I place my drink on the bar to touch my forehead. It’s clammy and hot against my icy hand.
“Hey, Levi, you okay?” someone asks, holding my shoulder.
I nod, trying for a smile but everything feels too hot. I’ve only had two glasses of wine and there is no way I’m already drunk from that.
I move away from the stranger, still trying to find Kai. Maybe he went outside. I take a few more steps but everything feels too warm, too hot. The room spins and contorts, voices and music around me slurring and dragging.
Kai, I think. Find Kai.
I push forward, my legs feeling like they are made of jelly but before I can get to the doors, someone curls their arm around my waist and pulls me in. For a second, I think it’s Kai and my body relaxes until the person’s scent hits me. It’s nothing like Kai’s, it’s all wrong. Kai smells almost exactly like us now, only a bit sweeter.
I try to pull away, but I am being led down a dim hallway by the stranger. My protests come out as strange whines and I hate the way I feel and sound. Blood rushes to my head and I feel panic begin to rise inside me.
What the fuck is going on?
“Sshh, you’ve had a lot to drink, Levi.”
That voice.
That voice.
My entire body goes rigid as I hear a door click shut behind me. How did I get here? But that’s not important. I turn to find deep blue eyes and a perfectly handsome face. Adam glares back at me and something akin to terror rushes through me all at once.
“Adam?” I hear myself say.
It feels like I’ve left my own body behind, like I’m watching a different Levi looking pale, reacting too slowly, his entire face and body flushed with a sheen of sweat.
“You’ve had a lot to drink, Levi. I didn’t want you to get hurt so I brought you here.” He smiles, blue eyes somehow brighter. “Remember when I’d do that for you? I’d put you to bed, make sure you fell asleep on your side, so you didn’t choke on your own vomit?”
“Adam,” I breathe heavily. Shit, I think I’m going to pass out.
He steps forward and holds my arm, squeezing lightly, but I muster enough strength to pull away. “Stay away from me.”
It feels like the world is closing in, everything slurring and melting together. Adam looms over me even though I’m pretty sure I’m taller than him. I back away slowly, slamming into a wall.
“Oh c’mon, Levi,” he says quietly. “Let me take care of you one last time?”
“You need to leave me alone. Kai is…”
Where is Kai?
Oh, right, he had to call someone. He was scared. He was crying. I wanted to follow him to make sure he was okay. I need to find Kai. Now. I try to push past Adam, but he pushes me back against the wall, the back of my head hitting the hard surface with a loud thud that has me seeing stars.
He laughs, his mouth twisting into an ugly smirk and it hits me—he drugged me.
“Jesus Christ, Levi, why do you keep picking him?” he snarls. “He’s not worth your time! Don’t you see that I’m the one who cares about you? I’m the one who has always been there, but you don’t seem to care about me or what I’ve done for you. You never have.”
I try to regain my bearings but I’m slipping deeper and deeper into a void I’m not sure I’ll be able to climb out of. I need to find Kai, I remind myself. That’s the only way I can get out of this. Find Kai. Go home. It’s like a chant in my head.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
He sighs loudly, running a hand through his hair. “Isn’t it obvious? Hasn’t it been obvious from the moment we met?”
I stare at him blankly and that only seems to piss him off. He crowds me, and for a second, I’m sure he’s going to hit me. Adam is lean but he’s strong. If he hit me, I’d feel it.
“Why did you do it?” he asks after a second. “Why not me? I would have let you do whatever you want to me. Isn’t that what you like? To be in control? I would have held you during your nightmares and talked you through everything when your mind got too loud. I would have been perfect for you.” Adam’s voice is wet with emotion.
It’s strange how much he knows about me—about the version of me that existed before Cole. He was there when things were too loud. He understood my moods and my ups and downs. He was my best friend until he thought he could take from me without my permission.
“And now you’re with Cole who keeps you on a leash like you’re some sort of lapdog?” His voice rises and he’s in my space again, that awful scent flooding my nose. “What happened to the Levi I love? The life of the party? You’ve lost your spark, baby.”
I reach out my arm, trying to push him away, but my body doesn’t feel like my own. Instead, I’m sweating, and I think I might vomit. I want to tell him that I didn’t lose anything. I want to tell him that Cole made me feel like I could be whoever I want to be with him. I want to tell him that Cole made me feel safe and unapologetic, but the words won’t come out, saliva only pools in my mouth. Nausea flares inside me.
“Adam, what did you give me?” I breathe out.
He frowns, watching me carefully, like for the first time he’s seeing me. “I don’t know, a bunch of stuff,” he says.
Oh fuck.
Okay, I think, I need to change tack. He won’t let me leave if I keep asking him to let me go. “I think I need a doctor, Adam,” I say, softening my voice. “Please call someone and then we can talk after?”
He frowns but I keep going, hoping this works. “That’s what you want right? I’ll—I’ll be honest, I think I’ve missed you too.”
“You have?”
I nod, fighting another wave of nausea. “J-just let me go for now?”
He watches me, blue eyes glassy under the dim lights. Suddenly, he shakes his head, smiling. “You think I’m that stupid?” he laughs. “I’ve been watching you, Levi. I know you don’t care about me anymore.”
My stomach falls. He was the one following me on my run. “What—what are you going to do?”
He takes a step closer to me, and our foreheads almost touch. I smell him, feel his clothes and his erection. I try to pull back, begging the wall to let me disappear through it.
“You shouldn’t,” I swallow. “Cole will…”
He laughs quietly, his warm breath on my face. “Cole will what?” he asks harshly. “Oh baby, Cole won’t want you after I’m done with you.”
Cold fear breaks through me. Watching him, I know he believes what he’s saying. “Adam, please…” I breathe.
I desperately want to find Kai. He’s all alone right now and he’s scared of something. I need to get to him but just as I try to push Adam away, my body sags against the wall, the tiredness overwhelming me.
“Levi?” Adam says but he sounds so far. “Shit, no wait, Levi!”
I need to get to Kai.
I slide against the wall and fall to the ground.
Kai
My heart is racing as I look at Kenny who stands across me in the middle of the street. Around us, people move, the sun sinking into the horizon, painting the sky a watery twilight purple.
Everything should be beautiful, but I feel like that fifteen-year-old boy again, terrified, and alone, everything he loves about to be taken away.
Kenny looks the same, if only slightly bulkier but his skin is now leathery with sunspots and scars. I’m as tall as he is now, but I remember having to look up at him once.
He’s dressed in a beat-up denim jacket and old Levi jeans. It’s all so familiar and it makes my stomach roll with disgust.
“Good to see you, Kai. You’ve grown up into a good-looking, young man.”
I ball my fists. “What are you doing here? We weren’t supposed to meet today.”
Kenny laughs. “You embarrassed your new posh friends will finally see who you are?”
During the party, he sent me a picture of the hotel, demanding I come outside. I thought I had one more night to enjoy this. He isn’t supposed to be here.
“You know what I want,” Kenny says. “And I didn’t want to wait until next week.”
“I don’t have it here,” I say, trying to keep my voice level. “No one carries around that kind of money.”
Kenny looks me over before his eyes land on my hand. I flinch, hiding my wrist from view but he’s already seen the diamond bracelet that rests around it.
He grins. “Oh, I’ll take that shiny bracelet and go,” he says. “Give that to me and we can consider half of your payment done.”
For a moment, I consider it. I could say I lost it somewhere but just as quickly as the thought crosses my mind, I feel horrible for even considering it. I can’t betray their trust more than I already have.
I shake my head. “No, I said I’d get you the money and I will. I can’t give this to you.”
Kenny grins. “Your boyfriends gave that to you, huh?”
I keep my mouth shut and he huffs out a laugh. “You’re here at this pretty fancy hotel which I saw you drive into in an equally fancy car, and you can’t even afford to give a little compensation to the man whose life you destroyed?”
I flinch because he’s right. I destroyed his life because of my own desperation.
Across me, he widens his eyes, as if he’s just realised something. “Do your boyfriends know about me? They don’t, do they? Were you too ashamed to have a convicted felon in your family? Is that it? Or were you too embarrassed to tell them you asked your little friends to plant drugs for you?” He pauses, taking a step closer to me. He’s so close I can smell the cheap whisky on his breath. “Or is it that you don’t want them to know what you were willing to do so I could let you stay with us.”
My stomach coils. A memory I have tried to bury comes springing forth so quickly that I don’t have time to suppress it.
I’m fourteen, and one of my friends has just sent me a video of two guys having sex. Kenny bursts into the room and snatches away my phone. He is laughing so loudly, calling me all sorts of names, I just want him to stop. Then he says if I want to stay in the house that badly, I should strip naked for him. With trembling hands, I do. He leaves me standing there, still laughing too loudly.
“Kenny…” I start but I don’t know how to continue.
“If you don’t want your perfect boyfriends to know the truth about you then you’ll give me what I want.”
Tears sting my eyes, defeat and regret flooding through me. I feel so exhausted suddenly, and I’m desperate to disappear.
“It’s funny, I used to think you were this little simpering boy but seeing you now is…” he makes a sound of awe. “It’s amazing really. You put me away and then you went on to date not one but two millionaires. You have so much ambition, Kai which is why I don’t doubt you’ll have my money.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks around. “I’ll be generous and give you another week. If you don’t have it by then, my friends and I will get acquainted with your boyfriends. I’m sure they’d love to know all the cute stories I have about you as I tie them up and explore that really beautiful townhouse myself.”
He's going to hurt them.
“Good night, Kai,” Kenny says. “I’ll see you soon.”
He winks and turns, disappearing down the street, and leaving me standing there. Tears threaten to fall but I blink them away. I can’t let him get into my head now. Levi is still in there and Cole will be back tomorrow. I’ll get the money, and he’ll leave me alone. As I walk back into the hotel, I sincerely hope it’s true.
Levi is not with Anant or Kez. My eyes scan the party, landing on a few people I now recognise but he’s not with them either. Anant says he hasn’t seen him in a while either. I frown, pulling out my phone in case he messaged but there’s nothing.
“I think I saw him with Adam earlier,” someone says next to Kez.
My stomach drops. I doubt Levi would want to speak to him. “Which way did they go?” I ask.
They point in the general direction of a dark hallway, and I rush away from the party. Something feels off. My heart is racing as I try to open several doors, coming up empty each time. I find a hotel maid who tells me she saw two men walking towards a private smoking lounge and points it out.
I pretty much sprint there, my heart speeding in my chest. When I pull open the door, I gasp because Levi is lying on the floor, bent into himself. He lets out a quiet moan and I rush towards him, kneeling next to his body. I have to push him so that he’s lying sideways.
“Levi?” I cry. “Levi? Please wake up?”
His eyes creep open but they look dim and far away. “Kai?” he whispers.
“Hey,” I say, relief flooding through me. He’s alive. “You’re okay. I’m going to call for help, okay?”
“No wait,” he says. “Kai. I love you.”
“What—”
But before I can continue, Levi’s body begins to convulse. White foam spills out of his mouth as his eyes roll back. He’s having a seizure.
“Levi?” I say, trying to keep him from knocking his head on the marble floor. “Shit Levi!” I scream until the entire building can hear me.