Chapter 30 Alex
ALEX
I did not expect the goodbye with Nora to go that way, but I regret nothing. All it means is that I am going to see all my teammates at Perks and Rec together, instead of stopping by to see each one individually.
But hell, that might be easier. Telling them goodbye as a group might be less emotional than one-on-one.
Of course, I mean emotional for me. I don’t expect any of them to be too broken up about it.
I am definitely the one who’s gotten attached.
And as surprised as I am by how quickly that happened, I won’t deny it.
I am going to miss these people.
I feel like I’m just getting to the point where I feel like I get it. That I might understand how I can fit here.
And that maybe ending up in small-town Louisiana playing bonkers hockey is not at all the worst thing that could have happened to me.
I walk through the door, now anticipating not only the tinkling bell but also the entire establishment turning to look at me.
This time, however, there is a chorus of, “Alex!” as the door shuts behind me.
I smile. “Hi, everyone.”
“Come here, we have something for you,” Patty says. She is standing near the coffee bar, waving me over with a huge grin.
I see that Beckett is sitting at the counter, as are Sutton and Andi. Everly, Ruth, and Thea are at one of the tables near the bakery case. Lawson is here with all the rest of the players.
I texted them all on my way to Nora’s. I knew I would be there for a while and figured that would give them all a chance to get to the coffee shop if they wanted to. I’d had no expectations, but I feel my throat tighten when I realize that even Zeke and Josh came over from Autre.
But I hadn’t told Bruce or Patty or anyone else in here that we were going to be meeting up.
As I draw closer to the coffee bar, I see six glass bowls sitting in a row.
“You have to try mine first,” Patty says. “It’s the classic. If all you’ve had is Nora’s, you haven’t even had the basic one to compare the rest to.”
Of course, when someone says something about ‘having Nora’s’ all I can think about are all the very inappropriate-for-the-coffee-shop things that I’ve had of Nora’s that I very much enjoyed and want a lot more of.
There’s a pain in my chest as I think about the fact that not only did I say goodbye to her today, but she also essentially told me that she won’t be coming to Portland.
Of course, she won’t. Her life is in this town. If she came to visit, what would that accomplish? Sure, we’d have some great sex and enjoy every second together, but it can’t turn into anything. It wouldn’t last. It would never go beyond long-distance fuck buddies.
And after a while, that would wear on us. We would both want more, and it would hurt to know that we couldn’t have it.
“Alex?” Patty says. “Here.” I focus and realize that she’s holding out a small bowl to me. There’s a spoon stuck in the bowl, and suddenly everything clicks.
What have I had of Nora’s that isn’t the classic?
This is banana pudding.
“What’s going on?” I ask, accepting the bowl.
Sure enough, the bowl is full of pudding with sliced bananas, whipped cream, and crumbled vanilla cookies.
“It’s a banana pudding buffet,” Muriel says with a grin.
“This is all banana pudding?” I ask, eyeing the six bowls.
“Sure. There’s all kinds,” Muriel says. “And since you’ve come around, we decided that you should get to taste all of the best ones. So a bunch of people made you their recipes.”
I look at Andi. She just shrugs. Then I look at Sutton.
She laughs. “I had nothing to do with this. Neither did Nora. This is all these ladies. I mean, Nora might’ve mentioned to me that you really liked her banana pudding, and I might have said something about that…”
“You didn’t just make all of these just now, did you?” I ask, looking around.
Is this some kind of going-away party? Could they have found out? Did Astrid say something?
“Of course not. Banana pudding has to sit at least overnight,” Patty says. “We planned to do this today before we found out that you were leaving.”
So they do know about that.
“Who told you?” I asked, looking at Sutton.
“When Nora left the otter club early, people got concerned. They called me. She wasn’t answering her phone, though, so, since everyone saw you leave with her, I called Astrid.”
That all makes sense.
I look at my teammates. “Sorry. I wanted to tell you all.”
“We get it,” Beckett says. “You have to go. We all heard the news about the coach. It makes sense Declan would call you.”
Yeah, Nora said that too.
And my brain knows that’s true. And a piece of my heart is happy. This is what I wanted. This was the goal all along.
So why do I feel so fucking sad?
“Well, I am really glad you all have impeccable timing,” I tell Patty. “If I’d missed this, I would’ve been really upset.”
She smiles. “Now, don’t eat too much of it, you have to taste each of the six.”
I pretend to sigh heavily. “Well, if I have to, I have to.”
I get to my penthouse in Portland just before six p.m. West Coast time. I have just a few minutes before I need to get on the video call with Sam for his podcast.
I’d sent him a text earlier in the day telling him that there was a change of plans, and that we didn’t need to talk about the Rebel Revelers anymore.
Sam had insisted he still wanted to talk.
I’ve been expecting that. The news of Coach Leon’s arrest had shocked the hockey world, not just the Grays, and of course, a sports podcaster like Sam would want to talk it out.
The fact that he had a past player and the guy who was going to be stepping into the coach's position made the interview all the juicier.
I run a hand through my hair, gulp down a glass of water, and check my reflection in the mirror.
I look pretty good.
That’s what traveling by private plane instead of commercial will do for you.
I shake my head.
I had been dreading the flight even on a private plane. Astrid had even arranged for the plane to pick me up on the airstrip outside of Rebel, and the ride out there had felt heavier with each mile.
What the fuck is my problem?
I sigh and look around my apartment.
It is so quiet here. No muffled laughter and conversation drifting through the floorboards.
No kitchen sounds coming up the steps. And it does not smell like cinnamon and coffee.
There are also zero flowers on any of the upholstery.
But instead of making things look better, I’m just struck by how lacking in color and how uninteresting my apartment is.
Sure, it’s sleek and modern. Expensive. And no one’s died here.
But the pieces have no history. There’s no story behind any of them. There’s no character.
Is it possible to buy a candle that will make the place smell like cinnamon rolls and coffee in the morning? Or hell, I could just get a coffee pot. I don’t drink the stuff, but I could brew it to get the scent. Seems wasteful, but maybe I could give the coffee to my doorman.
The alarm on my phone chirps, and I realize I need to log in to the video call.
I settle into the extremely comfortable, buttery leather office chair at my desk, which faces a window overlooking downtown Portland.
The view is spectacular. And is just about as different from the view out my window in Rebel as I could possibly get.
Before I log in for the call, I fire off a quick text.
Alex: do you think Bruce would let me have the lamp from the bedside table in the apartment?
It’s only a minute before Ruth replies. He says he’ll sell it to you. And he’s not paying to ship it.
I grin. Astrid can send it with my other stuff. Ask him if a thousand is enough.
Ruth: wide-eyed emoji. That lamp is like fifty years old, and there’s probably a dozen like it at the flea market.
I laugh for the first time since leaving Perks and Rec earlier. I want that one. It’s sentimental.
Ruth: He says twelve hundred.
Of course he did.
Alex: I’ll send it electronically right now. I grin even as I hit send. There is no way Bruce has any money transfer apps.
Ruth: *laugh cry emoji* He wants cash.
Jesus, I don’t remember the last time I actually walked into a bank. But that will be hilarious. That’ll take me a day or so.
Ruth: No lamp before he sees the money.
Exactly what I would have expected.
I want to keep texting with Ruth. Instead, I sigh and click on the link to connect to the video call with Sam.
“Hey, Alex!” Sam greets as the call connects.
“Hey, Sam.”
“Thanks for agreeing to do the interview anyway. I know things have taken a turn.”
“You could say that,” I say. I lean in, resting my elbows on the desk. “And before we go any further, I just want to say one thing.”
“Shoot.”
“I will do this interview, and I will also promise you an exclusive with me after the first Grays game. On one condition.”
“I’m listening.”
“You still go to Rebel to the first hockey game on Friday. You still highlight the new league.”
His eyebrows arch. “Really? That’s important to you?”
“It’s nonnegotiable. I won’t do any more interviews with you at all if you don’t show up in Rebel in two days.”
Sam shrugs. “I’ve already got all of the travel plans made. Why not?”
I settle back into my chair. “Okay then, let’s do this thing.”