Chapter 31
NORA
I laid in bed for about twenty minutes after Alex left, but I’m not really a napper or someone who lies around, so I eventually got up and showered. Then I checked my phone.
There was a group text from my girls.
Sutton: hey, heard about Alex leaving. Are you okay?
Thea: what’s going on?
Sutton: Alex got called to go back to Portland to coach.
Thea: oh shit. Nora, where are you?
Andi: I have a text from Alex that he wants everyone to meet down at Perks and Rec.
Sutton: I think he’s going to say a mass goodbye.
Thea: oh I have that text too.
Everly: I plan to be there. Nora, will you be there?
These were all sent before Alex and I even got to my house. He must’ve sent that group text when he realized he wasn’t going to be able to say individual goodbyes.
Nora: we said our goodbye. I can’t do it again.
Sutton: *hug emoji* I’ll let you know when the coast is clear. We want to see you.
Andi: we can bring stuff to you. Stuff equals liquor and chocolate, btw.
I smile. I have the best girlfriends.
Nora: no. I’ll come to the Rec. I want everyone to see that I’m okay. I don’t want everyone to hate him again because he left.
Thea: but are you okay?
Nora: not really. But I’m happy for him.
I realize that’s true. I want Alex to feel like he belongs somewhere, and if that is coaching for the Grays in the city that has been his only home for the last several years, then that’s what I want for him.
It’s ridiculous to think that he would have gotten attached to Rebel in the short time he’s been here. I’m glad he was starting to feel happier here and developing relationships, but maybe it’s better that he left before any of that got deeper.
I turn on my computer in my home office, planning to get some work done before I head down to Perks and Rec.
We have our first game in just a few days.
It’s not like I don’t have plenty to do.
I am throwing a crawfish boil for thousands of people, for one thing.
I also want to be sure that we have plenty of merchandise on hand.
I expect people will be excited to buy T-shirts, stuffed Rougarou and otter toys, and other team merchandise after experiencing this first bonkers hockey game.
I actually manage to get caught up in my work for a couple of hours and when Sutton’s text dings on my phone, I’m surprised how quickly the time went.
My stomach dips as I reach for my phone.
That ding means Alex’s goodbye is over. And he’s gone.
Fuck.
That hurts.
He was here for such a short time. I’ve lived here all my life. Going back to things as usual, back to my typical routines, living my life without him here should be easy.
But I haven’t even stepped a foot out my door and the town feels different knowing he’s gone.
Dammit.
I need to reassure the whole town that I am not heartbroken and that we should all be happy for Alex. I will also need to convince them all, including the players, that Revelers hockey will still be successful even without Alex Olsen.
I feel more confident about that now that I’ve seen how the videos from the scrimmage spread online and how much fun everyone had.
Still, not having his star power on the roster is definitely a loss.
And I just don’t care.
I want Alex to be happy. If the Revelers and the Rascals have a slower build now, we’ll just have to deal with it. All we need is people to come see the teams play. People will love it once they experience it.
I’ll go to my cousin Dane and beg him to keep the arena if I have to.
We’ll campaign extra hard for Harley.
We’ll run commercials. We’ll take out ads. We’ll do a bachelor/bachelorette auction with the players. We can do a calendar. Or maybe we should have them each dance and lip-sync in online videos, and have people vote for their favorites.
I’m still brainstorming ideas to spread the word and get our players out there when I walk into Perks and Rec.
“Nora!”
“Hi, sweetheart!”
“Oh, honey, how are you?”
The place is busier than I expected.
I paste on a smile. “Hi, everyone!” I make my way to the bar and gratefully take the stool between Andi and Everly.
Andi rubs a comforting hand up and down my back, and Everly pushes her half-empty martini glass to me.
The liquid inside is purple. And sparkly.
I look at her with a question, then at my cousin behind the bar.
Violet grins. “I made up a couple of cocktails. That’s the Rougarou. Andi’s trying the Rascal.”
Andi’s martini glass is full of something green and sparkly.
Violet continues. “I figure even though you’re going to have drinks and food at the arena, people might stop down here before or after a game, and we should have some themed stuff going on here, too. And don’t worry, the glitter is edible.”
I pick up the martini glass and sip. It’s really good. And I don’t even care what’s in it. I drain the rest of the glass.
All three of the women look at me with raised eyebrows.
“But you’re totally okay, right?” Everly asks.
“I am,” I nod, glancing around the bar. Everyone here needs not to hate Alex. “I’m so happy for Alex. This is what he wanted all along. Obviously, it happened way sooner than expected, but he’ll be a great coach.”
“Are you going to fly out there for his game and then back for the first Revelers and Rascals game?” A voice calls. I know that voice. “Or are you going to stay here and go to Portland next week?”
I turn to find Muriel and Patty sitting at one of the tables just a few feet away. The sisters often come in for dinner, despite being among the best cooks in town. They don’t like cooking for just one or two, and even more, they like being in the middle of the best spot for gossip and news.
“Oh, I’m not going to Portland,” I say, even as my stomach knots.
Muriel frowns. “Why the hell not?”
I reach for Andi’s drink, which she surrenders easily.
I take a sip of the green sparkly liquid.
It’s very good too. I give Violet a thumbs up, then say to Muriel, “Alex and I weren’t dating for very long.
It wasn’t that serious. He’s gone back to his life in Portland, and obviously, my life is here. ”
Muriel makes a very unladylike snorting noise as she stabs a sausage, and Patty chuckles.
“What?” I ask, aware that the entire bar is listening.
“It doesn’t matter how long you were together. He obviously makes you insanely happy,” Muriel says. “You have to go to Portland.”
“Well, he could come back here,” Patty says. “He was very happy here, too.”
I think he really was, and her words make my chest ache.
“He was. And he did make me happy, of course,” I say, not worried about the admission.
It’s true. “But this job is exactly what he wants. And it’s in Portland.
I live here. And long distance is really hard, especially when we’re both so busy. ”
Muriel frowns. “But your life doesn’t have to be here.”
I straighten. “What? Yes, it does. How can I arrange clubs, festivals, and activities for Rebel if I’m not in Rebel?” My heart is pounding, and I’m not sure why.
“But you don’t have to do that for your life, do you? You could do that somewhere else. Ow!” Muriel frowns at Patty and leans to rub her shin. “Why’d you kick me? I’m just saying she can do clubs and festivals somewhere else.”
“But doing them for Rebel is what I want to do,” I say.
“Why?” Muriel asks. Then she glowers at her sister. “I swear to God, Patty, if you kick me again, I’ll dump my grits in your lap.”
“Stop being rude. You know that Nora does those things for Rebel, because of…” She trails off, looking a little chagrined. “You know why doing them in Rebel is important.”
They know why my job is so important to me? I suppose it wouldn’t be hard to figure out. I’m giving back. I’m making my hometown a happier, more connected place. Because I love them. That’s obvious. Isn’t it? I frown. Something here feels off.
“I do those things for Rebel because of what?” I ask.
Patty looks around. “We shouldn’t have butted in.”
I almost laugh out loud. It’s not as if that has ever stopped anyone before, especially these two.
“She means that we know you do all these things for us because you feel grateful for how everyone has always helped you and your family out, and how you consider us family and that you’re taking care of us,” Muriel says. She scoops a bite of grits into her mouth.
Well…
She’s not wrong.
I do feel grateful. I do consider the things I do helpful to the community.
“Is that so bad?” I ask, my stomach twisting and my heart pounding in my ears.
“Of course not,” Patty says.
“It is if it keeps you stuck here,” Muriel says at the same time.
They frown at each other.
“I don’t feel stuck here,” I protest.
Muriel points her fork at me. “Bullshit.”
My eyes widen. I look at my friends. No one is jumping in to tell Muriel she’s wrong.
I look back at the older woman. “I don’t. I love it here.”
“But you feel like you can’t leave. You think we need you.”
I feel a sharp pang as my heart clenches. “You…don’t?” I ask.
She shakes her head, either unaware that she’s hurting me, or not caring. “Of course not.” But then she says, “We don’t love you because of the things you do for us, Nora. We love the things you do for us, because we love you.”
I stare at her.
The words seem to hang in the air.
No one says anything for several ticks.
Then Patty says, “She’s right. We love all of you, because of you. What you do for our community is, we hope, your expression of how you feel about us. Not payback.”
I press my lips together and nod. I swallow. “Of course it’s because of how I feel about you. I love setting up activities and things that bring us all together and make Rebel more friendly and happy.”
Muriel nods. “Good. But you can love us and be loved by us in Portland. You feel like you have to stay here because you think you have to pay us back.” She looks up from her plate. “And you don’t.”
I feel a weird twist of emotions go from my chest to my stomach.
“We want you to be happy just like you want us to be happy,” Muriel says. “If you’re here when we know that you’d be happy with that boy in Portland, we won’t be as happy either.”
I feel a stinging at the back of my eyes. Finally, I say something I’ve never said out loud, not even to my friends, and certainly not to my family. But right now, in this moment, I’m going to say it to the whole bar.
“If I leave, you’ll be mad at me.”
Muriel stops with her fork just in front of her mouth. She looks at me, then sets it down. Patty frowns. I feel my friends shift, leaning in closer to me.
“What are you talking about?” Muriel asks.
I feel Andi’s hand on my back again, and I hear Violet set another glass on the bar. I hope it’s more of the purple stuff.
But I have more to say first. “I believe you love me. And I’m glad that it’s not because of the stuff I do.
It’s just because of me. But…you were mad at my mom when she left.
You were mad at Hunter when he left. And my other boyfriends.
You were mad at Sean Patrick when he left.
We’re still mad at Sean Patrick even though he came back.
” I take a breath, then let it out in a long whoosh.
“We get mad when people leave us. And look how we treat people we’re mad at. ”
I don’t have to point out the straw polls and the protests at the arena or the rollercoaster of ticket sales, all directly due to Alex and the town’s feelings about him from one minute to the next.
I also don’t add that coming home to Rebel to visit, knowing the town was mad at me, or even just really disappointed, would kill me.
Muriel and Patty exchange a look. Muriel nods at Patty.
Patty looks at me. “Yes. We were mad at your mom. And all of those guys.”
I know she knows I mean the whole town, at least our part of the town, when I said ‘we’, and I know that’s what she means now.
I nod.
“But, there were so many reasons for that, sweetheart,” she says. “Mostly that they hurt you. Especially in your mom’s case.”
“But they all left to go do something else, something bigger, something they loved.”
The ladies nod, but then Muriel says, “Each case was different. But the truth is, we are not going to be mad at you if you leave with Alex.”
I don’t know if I believe her.
Maybe she and Patty won’t, but Muriel and Patty march to their own drummers anyway.
My friends and family won’t be mad. Maybe.
I don’t know how Bruce and Harley will feel, actually.
I owe them so much. And my friends? They might not get angry, but how can I go through a week, not to mention my life, without seeing them every day?
“Besides, Alex is different from all of those guys,” Muriel says. “We wouldn’t have encouraged you to go with any of them. They weren’t worth it.”
“You think he is?” I ask, my heart squeezing as I think about him. How am I going to not see him every day? Dammit, how did that grumpy, spoiled hockey player get so under my skin so quickly?
“I do,” Patty says with a smile.
“And obviously you do too,” Muriel says.
“How do you know?” I ask.
“You left garden club and otter club for him.”
I did.
I’d thought leaving otter club early was a first, but that’s not true.
I did leave garden club early the day I picked him up from the airport. Of course, that was before I really knew him. I left garden club early for the hockey player.
But I left otter club early for the man.