CHAPTER 30 BOWER #3
“So what’s been going on?” she asks. “Anything fun and exciting happening? I feel like we haven’t chatted in forever.”
“Yeah, been quite busy,” I say, swallowing the lump that’s in my throat.
Do not fucking cry, Bower. Get through this lunch, cry after, but do not break down in front of her.
“Adalade putting you to work?”
“Yeah, and I’ve been working on that book truck thing.”
Gabby perks up. “Really? Oh my God, tell me more.”
“So he helped you find a truck?” Gabby asks as she dips her spoon into her squash soup. We both went for the squash soup and grilled cheese, something I knew she’d like. And then we opted for water.
I’ve kept the conversation pretty neutral, focusing on anything and everything but Bennett, so that’s why we’re talking about Cougar now.
“I mean, I narrowed it down to two and then he pointed out the difference between the tires. It was helpful, and he offered up the idea of the truck being the mascot in the logo. Just supportive all around.”
“Sounds like a bunch of green flags to me.” She wiggles her brows.
If only she knew.
Cougar is a combination of green, beige, and red. Red flags as in warnings to me that I don’t believe there is much chemistry there, but then again, it feels like all my chemistry is pent up and just explodes whenever I’m around Bennett.
“When are you two going out again?”
“Um, I think tomorrow night,” I say. “He asked me out.”
“Ooo, that’s exciting. And you said you two haven’t kissed or anything, right?”
“Yeah, we’ve been taking it slow, but it’s been nice, because I’ve been able to get to know him, and that feels important.”
“Very important. I got to know Ryland while his dick was in me, but it seemed to work out.” She winks, causing me to laugh. “Oh look, you do know how to laugh.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask.
“I don’t know. You just seem off.”
Because I think I like your brother and I don’t know how to handle that.
I’m trying to push him away, but I don’t want to.
“Bennett feels off too.”
My skin crawls to attention as the back of my neck heats up. “Really?” I ask, the lump in my throat growing, my emotions starting to tug on my resilience. “What, uh, what makes you think that?”
“Just hasn’t been as talkative. I called him the other night after his game and he was really rushed with me. Seemed like he had somewhere else to be.” She gasps and then says, “Oh God, do you think I called him while he had a girl in his hotel room?”
And just like that, I feel like I’m going to throw up.
The thought of Bennett with someone else actually causes me physical pain. His lips on someone else, his hands…his cock.
Him panting, sweating, writhing with another woman, I can’t…God, I can’t even think about it.
“That would make him get off the phone quickly. Don’t blame him, though, talking to his sister would probably dampen the mood.
But I’m glad he’s getting out there. I mean, I’d prefer him not randomly sleeping with women, because I don’t want him getting caught up in something he can’t handle, but I do think he needs to let loose. ”
“Yeah, that, uh, that’s probably good for him.”
“How is he doing?” she asks, laying her arm on the table and leaning slightly more forward. “I worry about him a lot. I know he’s doing well with baseball, but sometimes I wonder if he’s having a real life outside of baseball. He’s been grinding for so long. I want him to let loose.”
“I get that. He, uh, he seems like he’s doing fine,” I answer, keeping my mouth shut about the dinner I took him to, the dry-humping, the fingering, him going down on me only for me to reverse it and go down on him. Not to mention the phone sex.
Fuck, I’m the worst friend in the world. She’d hate me if she knew.
“I’m just glad you’re here to watch over him and make sure he’s okay. Being so far away, I worry, you know? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Yup.” I wet my lips and stare down at my soup.
“Hey.” She touches my arm. “Everything okay?”
Don’t cry.
Don’t fucking cry.
Instead, I plaster on a smile and look up at her. “Everything is great. Sorry, my mind is just getting lost in thoughts.”
“In Cougar thoughts.” She chuckles and then winks before taking a sip of her drink.
Yup…in Cougar thoughts.
Be casual, but get in and get out. Don’t say anything you’ll regret. Gabby is counting on you.
Bower: Thank you for the cookies. I’m trying to control myself. I’ve only had one and I put the others in the freezer.
Bennett: You’re welcome. Maybe when I get back, we can defrost two and have them together.
Bower: Maybe.
Bennett: Why doesn’t that sound very promising?
Bower: Nothing we need to talk about now. I actually have a lot to do. Just wanted to shoot you a quick text to say thank you. Good luck tonight.
Bennett: Wait, Bower, is everything okay?
Bower: Yeah, it’s fine.
Bennett: Why doesn’t it sound fine? Can I call you?
Bower: No, I really have things to do. I’ll talk to you later.
Bennett: Bower, wait, talk to me. What’s going on? Was it the cookies?
Bennett: Bower, please pick up your phone.
Bennett: Please.
Bennett…I can’t. Your sister is counting on me. I just…I can’t.