Chapter 27
Whatever was going on between me and Parker is over now; that much is clear.
It’s time for me to leave Salem Stables.
Sticking around will only put Tabitha awkwardly in the middle, and I’m not prepared to do that to either one of them.
I’m the one who doesn’t belong here. Tabitha was adamant that I was acting rashly, but even though I can’t prove I’m cursed, she can’t prove I’m not, either.
Salem Stables is the happiest place on Earth for me, and I somehow found a way to taint this too.
I’d rather leave before I have a chance to ruin things more than I already have.
So that maybe one day … I can come back.
Even though she’s letting me go, my heart breaks a little at having to say goodbye before I’m ready.
Making sure I didn’t lose her was the whole reason I came in the first place.
Now that I know we’re on solid ground, I’m still not quite ready to let go.
She won’t let me leave until the bad weather clears, though.
All night I toss and turn, replaying the day’s events over in my head.
The knot in the pit of my stomach ferments overnight, and no amount of coffee the next morning will settle the sickening feeling.
The further away I get from Salem Stables, the better.
But the steady rain and dark skies don’t let up.
“I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but it looks like you might be here a little while longer, yet,” Tabitha tells me the next morning.
“There’s flooding on some of the roads around here and the buses are cancelled.
But don’t worry, the forecast says the rain should stop today.
” She pours herself a cup of coffee and sits down next to me at the kitchen table.
“It’s days like these I’m grateful for living here, I tell you.
With our elevation, everything runs away from the house, and we really only get flooding in the back fields, so the horses can still go out safely. ”
I give a noncommittal grunt, but I’m only half listening.
“On the bright side,” she adds, squeezing my hand and drawing my attention to her. “It’s a little more time together. There’s a new true crime documentary on TV I recorded for you.”
Halfway through the first episode, Tabitha seems to notice I’m hardly paying attention and excuses herself to make some popcorn.
I pause the show and curl my legs up under me on the couch to burrow deeper under the blanket I’m wrapped in.
Closing my eyes, I lean my head back on the sofa, trying not to let my thoughts wander.
As Tabitha bustles around the kitchen, my phone chimes and I reach for it automatically, expecting to see a text from Lyla, whom I updated last night to let her know I was coming home after all, without going into too much detail.
The little red notification makes me drop my feet to the floor and sit up straight. The blog post is live.
I have to swipe three times to pull up the browser to read it.
Maybe I’m a masochist, but I need to see it for myself, even if I already know what it’s going to say.
I skim read the whole thing, my eyes jumping ahead as quickly as possible.
But it doesn’t mention the disaster from last weekend at the bachelorette party.
It doesn’t even mention the bachelorette at all.
Tabitha comes back into the living room and sets the bowl of popcorn down between us.
“Lucy’s wedding venue got flooded,” I say, holding up my phone. “It’s supposed to be tomorrow at her parents’ property, but the whole place is under six inches of water.”
“Yikes. I guess she’s looking for a plan B right about now.”
“Yeah, for her and two hundred of her closest friends and family,” I say drily, scrolling back through the post again. “According to this, there’s nowhere around that can accommodate a group that size on such short notice. Everything is booked.”
Tabitha gives a knowing nod. “This time of year is popular for weddings around here. Everyone loves having their photos taken with the beautiful fall colors. You saw how much people loved that yesterday, and that wasn’t even anything special, it was just my front yard!”
She grabs the remote and turns the show back on.
“Yeah.” The words taking a moment longer before bouncing back into the forefront of my brain and registering. “Yeah … except unlike Lucy’s parents, your yard isn’t a giant puddle.”
Slowly, she turns to look at me. “I don’t like that look,” she says, her lips angling with apprehension.
I grab the remote from her still lifted hand and press pause again, setting it down as I stand. She watches me pace around the living room, the idea gaining steam like it’s its own being inside my head.
“Sloan, no,” she says, not needing me to voice it out loud to understand what I’m thinking.
I smile. “Yes.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Hear me out!” Energy is suddenly coursing through me, relieving the weight that’s been sitting on my chest since yesterday.
“She didn’t post about the disaster she experienced because of me—yet.
But that doesn’t mean she won’t next week.
Or next month, or next year, even. And even if she doesn’t, it’s always going to be in the back of my mind.
That could ruin everything, and I’ll never be able to stop waiting for that other shoe to drop. Unless I can undo some of the damage.”
“You know, you could send her some flowers, maybe a nice edible arrangement as an apology. This? It’s…”
“A lot. I know,” I say, rushing forward and perching on the coffee table in front of her. “And it could be an even bigger disaster.”
“Exactly! The guest list is twenty times bigger!”
“But all they need is a space where they won’t be ankle-deep in water,” I say, talking myself through it as much as her.
“The wedding is supposed to be tomorrow, and since it was already planned as an outdoor event, they’ll already have the tent and tables and chairs rented—all they’ll need to do is change the delivery address.
I reach for her hands, gripping them tightly on my knees while my eyes implore her with every fiber of my being to say yes.
“Lucy is in a cast for her wedding because of me. If I can make sure the wedding happens, there’s a good chance she’ll forgive me.
Not just for me, but for the sake of my business. ”
It’s something I want to fight for again. Because even if it hasn’t been flawless, I know suffering through the growing pains will be worth it to give it—to give me—a fair chance. Just because something doesn’t get off to the right start doesn’t mean it’s worthless.
My thoughts flash back to Parker and our rocky beginning.
Despite that, we somehow managed to get close.
Even though it didn’t start or end that way, for a few days it was perfect.
I’m not stupid enough to think that it would always be like that between us.
Parker’s damaged in a way I’m only beginning to understand, and I have a laundry list of my own issues I need to work on.
Neither of us is going to change overnight.
Fighting would be inevitable, as it’s in our nature.
But we fight because we care, because we’re pushing each other to be better versions of ourselves—the glimpses we see in each other, even when we can’t see them in ourselves.
Being with Parker would mean embracing the ups and downs, but knowing that those moments of perfection are waiting for us is enough to believe that it’s worth fighting for too. That he’s worth fighting for.
Leaving isn’t the answer. That word is too generous; I’m not leaving …
I’m running, like a coward, giving up because it’s easier than trying and failing, easier than letting Parker see the other parts of me, the flawed ones—the real me.
He wanted to tell me that, and I wouldn’t listen. Well, I’m listening now.
Tabitha groans and pulls her hands away, and I can hear the conflict in that one sound. She’s close to giving in. She gets up and pads to the kitchen, me trailing close behind.
“Come on, Tabitha! We must have had at least two hundred people at the farmer’s market yesterday, if not more.”
“Yes, but that was spread out over the course of a few hours,” she counters, reaching into the cupboard for a glass. “Not all at once, and not for an eight-hour event.”
“True, but they’ll be more contained, so you’ll hardly notice.
” I infuse my voice with as much confidence as I can muster as I sweeten the pot.
“They probably even have one of those fancy portable bathroom stations ordered, so no one will go in the house, or the barn, if you don’t want them to. And no riding this time, promise.”
She fills the glass with water from the tap, gulping before she turns back to me.
“How much of this has to do with Parker?” she asks, eyeing me closely.
I let out a long breath, seriously considering my frame of mind right now. “Everything. Nothing. Honestly, I don’t know. It feels like this is the right thing to do. Like this is what I’m supposed to do next. And for whatever reason, I want to trust that feeling.”
The glass hits the counter with a thud and Tabitha shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but fine. Call Lucy. If she’s open to it, her guests are going to need the new address sooner rather than later.”
Squealing, I rush over to her and wrap her in a giant hug.
“All two hundred of them,” she grumbles into my hair.
The day of the wedding arrives with blue skies and sunshine and—mercifully—not a drop of rain in the forecast. I’ve been up for hours, showered and dressed before the first truck arrived at seven a.m., kickstarting the flurry of activity.