Chapter Ten – Alex
Running from the past
Tripping on the now
What is lost can be found, it’s obvious
Edge Of Great - Julie And The Phantoms
The Trello in front of me shows the Portugal and Spain shows as completed, and there’s just today’s show left to close out France, which means the European tour ends in a month. I love every second of this, but my real life is waiting for me in Brazil, one week after it’s all over.
While the guys will have almost a month off until Thanksgiving, I’ve already got a show booked and three more in the works.
“ Minas and Bahia are being a bit more complicated; it’s not like renting a place like that two months before the event is easy, right?
But the demand is there, so it’ll happen,” Thalia warns, a little defensive.
“And the S?o Paulo theater is only free next month, but they’ve put us on priority in case of any cancellations,” she says, excited, like anyone would cancel such a place at the last minute.
“Great, I’ve got that meeting with Victor today, I’m gonna try to feel him out to see if there’s a chance he can recommend me to a label in Brazil or something like that, you know?”
I pull the curtain of my room open a bit more, letting the natural light finish my makeup.
“That’d be great, because doing this independent stuff gets really expensive.
If we close those six shows you want for this year, everything you’re earning with Vicious would go into venue rental, transport, accommodation, musicians, support, lighting…
I even wanted to check out a DJ, but that would get way too expensive. ”
“One step at a time, Thalia,” I scold her for thinking too big and apply a brown lipstick that matches my beige top. “Speaking of theaters, did you try that place in the metropolitan area of Minas you mentioned?”
“Girl, that place fits three hundred people, your demand is around three thousand.”
“Stop dreaming, Thalia. How are sales going for Solar ?” I ask, checking my full look in the mirror, pretending not to be nervous about the answer.
My first show after the Vicious tour is gonna be at Solar de Botafogo , right in my backyard. A place where I saw my mom sing when I was still a kid. Her voice would fill the small space, bigger than life itself.
Now, two years after her passing, all I have left are the memories, a list of impossible dreams, and the desire to honor her legacy. Starting there isn’t just a symbolic choice; it’s also a way to feel like, somehow, I’m carrying the baton she could never carry to the end.
That makes me… feel tight in my chest, a mix of fear and expectation. Like, for a moment, any second now, I could look to my side and see her there, smiling proudly, ready to remind me that music was always our thing .
“You look amazing, and the tickets sold out in three days,” Thalia interrupts my thoughts, her brows furrowed. “Told you last week.”
“No, you didn’t.” I sit back down, waiting for an explanation.
The tickets went on sale fifteen days ago.
I was on stage in Madrid, and I had just sung Maybe in Spanish for the first time – and almost gave the Spanish Vagabonders heart attacks.
That was the first conversation I had after getting off stage.
Thalia complimented my performance, which she watched through TikTok fan lives, and told me the sales had gone through the roof. Only ninety tickets were left.
“I think you better open the conversation again because I made it clear there were nineteen tickets left! I even thought you were getting all high and mighty with these huge audiences and didn’t care about selling out three hundred tickets in three days.”
My heart sinks in my chest, and I hold onto the table until I feel it return to its place. In the video call reflection, Thalia tells me to smile, but I can’t. My eyes well up, and all I want to do is crawl through the screen, hug my manager, cousin, and best friend, and celebrate with her.
Victor’s definitely gonna scold me for posting something solo in the middle of the boys’ tour, but it’s worth it.
“I know it’s not a big deal, and that only three hundred people fit at Solar , but I’m so happy, you know?”
“Sang in stadiums and went crazy?” Thalia grimaces.
“Of course not, girl, it’s just that…”
“You have fans, Alexandra. People like your work. Have you seen your Spotify listeners? Time to upload some covers in English because your listeners outside Brazil are increasing a lot. You had around two hundred thousand listeners when you started this, and now you’re reaching millions.
Plus, we’re closing in on a million followers on Instagram. ”
I hear the words, and I know they’re true. But the internet isn’t tangible, you can’t measure how many of those people really like me, like Maybe , like my not-couple with A.J., or how many would actually pay to see me sing.
“Thalia…” I cover my mouth like that would help me process the info. “So, you weren’t kidding about the demand for three thousand people?”
“Of course not, dummy.” Thalia claps her hands on her shorts at her thighs while I watch the screen, smiling to myself. “I’m your manager, I wouldn’t joke about something like this,” she reassures me as a tear slides down the right side of my face.
Using the Rio show as a “teaser” for what’s coming up in the next few months was a crazy idea, but seeing it work – and seeing the high demand in other states – makes me euphoric.
Doing shows this year was just a dream, until, over the past three months on the road, A.J.
helped me compose two new songs, Thalia gave her all in finding venues, and things just fell into place.
Going back to Brazil would already be special, but going straight into the arms of my fans? That’s magic.
“I’m happy, you know?” My voice cracks, and I swallow the tears.
“When you come back, things are gonna be different. When you come back, you’ll have a name that won’t be contained by Uncle Luiz’s efforts.” Disdain mixed with bitterness spills from her words.
“God, I hope so, my friend. But I gotta go, my meeting with Victor is in half an hour.”
“Are you going alone, or is your friend coming with you?”
“A.J. is taking me, Thalia.”
“How’s it like spending so much time with a guy who kisses more good-looking guys than you?” She asks, after all, that tall, blond, super‐strong guy AJ kissed at last night’s show has been the talk of every gossip site.
“It would be annoying if I was seeing someone, right… But since I have nothing to compare it to, I just get over it.” I laugh, grabbing my phone from the table. “Come on, wish me luck.”
“Good luck, Miss “sold-out show.” Love you,
“Love you more.”