Chapter Twenty-eight – Ale
I come in the dead of night to disturb your sleep, like a stray dog, I start barking, crossing over the pillow, turning you inside out, driving your mind crazy, making your head spin.
Garganta - Ana Carolina
I’m not the girl of the band guy.
I don’t want to be known as the girlfriend of the guy in the band.
But if I died today, it would definitely be from pent-up desire.
In the end, I wasn’t mad at A.J., I was just… starving for him.
Being around A.J. was never, necessarily, like being around one of the girls, like I’d say to annoy him.
I’d kiss him in my apartment when we played around with that after my show, I’d kiss him the day he took me to buy the decorations for my room.
I was so happy picking out my things while he carried the bags, and I would definitely kiss him when he cried watching The Hunchback of Notre-Dame .
But I’d kiss a lot of people, it wasn’t a big deal.
Until that damn Brittainy walked through the door of his room and made me think about how it would be… to go beyond the kissing . And then, when A.J. came into my room and left me melting, I’d rather die than admit it, but I was really attracted to him.
And today, with him staying away from everyone all day, for whatever reason, it was fun making him as turned on as he made me. I screamed every line of Obsessed like he had an ex. Not because I’d be obsessed with her, but because I’d hate the fact that she’d already had everything I want from him.
But it passed. It was just a lapse.
A.J. is my friend, someone really special to me, and I would never risk that relationship for a fling.
Even so, I couldn’t sleep when Daniele left the room to be with Richard, and he came in. I pretended to be asleep, but after a while, I got up and carefully went down the stairs so I wouldn’t make noise and wake anyone.
We have a show tomorrow, my first as a backing vocalist for the band, and I just couldn’t sleep. Not because I was nervous about the stage, but because I couldn’t be in the same room as the guy I’ve been living with.
It’s almost unbelievable! Alexandra stone heart is scrolling through TikTok at 2 a.m. because of a guy.
“Can’t sleep either?”
A.J.’s voice makes me jump on the couch when he appears in the living room like a ghost.
“It’s going to be a long night,” he comments, sitting next to me with just an inch of space between us. “I thought about watching a movie or going downstairs to watch something on the projector in the basement.”
“Maybe that’s it... Maybe we’re just missing our movies before bed…”
“...Our routine,” he says, not finishing, just adding.
So I do the same:
“...Doing things on our own time…”
“...Our house.” The phrase comes in a whisper, and he’s a little closer now.
“The house is yours, A.J.,” I stare at him under the dim light of my phone screen, and reading my thoughts, A.J. turns on the TV.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that too. About how the house is mine, and soon you’ll go back to Brazil, and it’s going to feel too big and too empty…” A.J. says as he opens YouTube and puts on a fireplace video.
Things only he could do. I toss my phone aside.
“It’s going to be like before, you and your visitors, like Brittainy…” I lift my feet up and rest my arm on the back of the couch to get more comfortable.
“Wow, Alexandra.” A.J. puts both hands around his mouth to muffle his laugh. “You’ll really never forget that, huh?”
“Well, not having me there will make your life easier.”
A.J. stops laughing immediately and looks at me with a furrowed brow.
“Being away from you would never make anything easier.”
His words linger between us for a while. Looking at him, I see nothing but honesty in his eyes, and it would be a lie to say I don’t feel every part of my body ignite when he caresses my arm on the back of the couch.
“Wow, another cliché for a great song,” I joke, taking a couple of steps back in this conversation.
We’re definitely going to crash if we keep edging closer to the cliff.
“Speaking of songwriting, thanks for showing the guys my composing side yesterday.” A.J. smiles, gently, joining me in the mission to get back to lighter topics.
“I thought I should defend my stage partner. It doesn’t make sense not to give you that space.”
“Well, yeah, I haven’t written alone in a long time. Something with Big D. broke my trust in that part. But my mind’s been flying around, dying to land on something, so your intervention came at the right time.” His words make me genuinely smile for the first time in hours.
“Did you write something?”
A.J. smiles awkwardly, biting his lower lip like a mischievous teenager.
“Not yet. There’s something hammering inside, but nothing concrete.”
“Tell me, I want to know,” I ask, moving closer, curious.
“Not now, but when I have it ready, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Do I have your word?” I threaten, raising my pinky at him.
“You have my word,” he guarantees, hooking his finger around mine. “I’m glad you liked it here, and the night. It was fun, despite the Guilherme and Richard moment,” he tries to brush it off.
“Yeah, spending time with you and the girls, singing and eating pizza? It couldn’t go wrong, it was delicious.”
“ You were delicious singing that crazy woman song, by the way.” He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and smirks. “My heart almost stopped,” he says, rubbing his bare chest, and I swallow hard, with desire and hatred.
He messes with me, I get flustered. I mess with him—he calls me delicious without even blushing. How is that fair?
“Yeah, the night was almost perfect…” I whisper, my body so hot, it’s as if the fireplace wasn’t just a video.
“Why almost?”
“Ah, you were missing someone to kiss in ‘One Last Kiss’,” I whisper, shrugging.
“Not missing,” A.J. retorts without hesitation, his eyes intense on mine and his right hand raised. “The problem was that you didn’t beg.”
“And if I begged now, would you really resist?”
I kneel on the couch and, for a few seconds, wish I had one of Daniele’s sexy silk robes, just for the pleasure of teasing him.
“I don’t know… we need to test to find out.” A.J. laughs softly, his eyes dark and filled with desire.
Exactly how I wanted them to be.
“You know what, A.J.? Maybe I should tell you that the first time I wanted to kiss you, we were at my apartment, the second at yours, the third on the street, and since then, I catch myself staring at your mouth longer than friends should stare at each other’s lips,” I confess, my eyes locked on his, and I slide my hand down his arm.
“Sometimes I think about how it would be if we played Seven Minutes in Heaven. If we locked ourselves in a room and spent seven minutes in there. Me and you, no light, your arms around me and my legs around your waist.” I moisten my lips in front of a panting A.J.
and scratch his skin until I reach the back of his neck, where I tangle my fingers in his hair.
“Then I think it’s only fair to ask you to kiss me, to tell you how much I need this, how much you’ve taken over my thoughts more than I can stand…
and if you don’t do it now, maybe I’ll explode from so much… ”
I don’t finish the sentence. Because in seconds I realize my legs are giving out, still kneeling, but each of them is on one of A.J.’s thighs.
I just need this. A kiss and nothing more.
I shouldn’t, but maybe a kiss is the only way to get this man out of my head. So, this should be the moment when I pull away, smile with disdain, and say that the worst part of teasing an actress is not knowing when the act ends.
But A.J.’s hands slide to my neck, firm. He pulls me to him, takes my lips, and I simply moan against the softness of his mouth and fit myself over him, letting his big, demanding hands guide me however they want.
I should stop, but kissing A.J. is different.
Different from any other kiss, because this man doesn’t kiss me just with his lips, A.J. kisses me with his whole body. From the way his hands trace my skin, unhurried, memorizing every curve, to the tongue exploring my mouth, claiming me.
He pulls me closer, the fingers of his right hand firm in my hair, while his left slides down as if he knows my body, and it makes me shiver. When A.J. grabs my hair and pulls lightly to deepen the kiss, a gasp escapes me.
I bite his bottom lip, tangling my fingers in his hair, and capture his lips to bury the urge to look at him, to see in his eyes if this kiss does to him what it’s doing to me.
But I can’t. I can’t. If I stop now, I won’t be able to come back.
So, I pull him closer, crossing my legs around him, erasing any space between us.
A.J.’s response is instant, he squeezes my thighs, lets out a hoarse groan against my mouth, and at that moment, I know: It was better to pretend I was acting and leave.
Oh, gosh… you’re like a dream.” A.J. pulls away from the kiss, panting. “You’re everything I imagined—and more. I needed this so badly.
“I hate how well you kiss,” I whimper, getting a quick peck after. “But we need to stop.” I push my hands against his chest.
“What you talking about?” he asks, pulling me into a hug and pressing his lips to my neck.
“I don’t want this to make things weird.”
“We just don’t let it.” He shrugs like it’s simple.
And I decide to believe it is.
“You have no idea how much I wanted this, how much I want you,” A.J. whispers against my lips, sending chills down my body as he lays me on the couch, and I pull him on top of me.
Then he kisses me again.
And again.
And again.
Until his hand slides down my body, and a groan escapes against my neck.
“There’s a room upstairs,” he says, surprised by his own reaction. “We can be more comfortable there.”
“I’m not having sex with you, A.J.” I set a boundary; this madness we’re doing is enough.
“You’re the one who mentioned sex…”, The bastard nibbles my lips, teasing me. “Again.”
I hold his gaze for a few seconds, but this time I don’t want to argue back, I just want this night to never end.
“I think it’s disrespectful to Dani,” I admit, and his eyes dim. Leaning in, I trail my fingers along his jaw before pressing my lips to his ear, voice dropping: “Take me to the basement couch, Anthony.”
“You’re gonna drive me crazy, Miss Petulant.” He brushes a thumb over my cheek, then leans forward to nibble my earlobe and I slip a hand through his hair, tugging him closer.
“I always knew you couldn’t resist me.”
“Oh, Alexandra, I tried my best,” A.J. says my name in a slow, hoarse voice that makes me surrender.
Then he pulls me onto his lap, stands, and carries me toward the stairs as if I weigh nothing, pausing only to turn off the TV. As he descends, I realize that driving him crazy is fair, since I’m already completely out of control.