Chapter 29
29
By the time Steve, the night manager, arrived Anya hadn’t heard anything from Rick. ‘Poor old boy,’ Steve said as they swapped seats behind the desk. ‘I hope he’ll be all right.’
Anya nodded. ‘Me too.’
‘And you’ve no idea what’s wrong? What did the paramedics say when they arrived?’
‘I think Rick took him to hospital. I don’t really know because I wasn’t here at the time.’ She sighed. There wasn’t much point in pretending everything was okay because Steve would find out sooner or later. ‘My job here wasn’t working out, so Davy and I decided to part ways this morning. I only came back because there was no one else to fill in.’
Steve rocked back, eyes wide. ‘I thought you and Davy were getting on like a house on fire. What happened?’
She shrugged. ‘It’s fine.’ It wasn’t anything close to fine, but she wasn’t going to get into it. Steve was a nice guy, but she wasn’t about to bare her heart and soul to him. ‘It was only ever a temporary measure, something to get me back on my feet until I got settled in. ’
‘Oh, sure. No, no, I get it. Well, for what it’s worth I think it’s a shame because Davy’s never been happier than since you started working here.’
Which Anya supposed only went to show that Davy could be as deceptive and false as his great-nephew. ‘Well, I need to get back to Freya, so I’ll leave you to it.’ She shouldered her bag and took a few steps towards the door.
‘Hey, Anya?’ She turned to look back. ‘If you hear anything about Davy, will you drop me a text?’
She nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘Thanks.’ Steve’s brows drew down. ‘If they keep him in, who’s going to look after this place?’
‘That’s something the family will have to sort out.’ She’d agreed to come back because it was clear Rick had been in a state earlier, but she hadn’t forgiven Davy for what he’d said to her. She hoped he was going to be okay, but he wasn’t her problem. Perhaps her mum had been right all along and she should’ve taken Freya and gone to stay with them. After all, there was nothing keeping either of them here. It had been kind of her aunt and uncle to invite them to stay, but they would surely be relieved to let everything go back to normal. She felt a twinge of guilt about leaving Chloe in the lurch, before brushing it away. Her cousin had likely only included her in her business plans because she felt sorry for her. Chloe would be just fine on her own, and no doubt glad to get her home back once they moved out.
She let herself into the summer house about fifteen minutes later to find Chloe and Freya sitting together on the sofa, Frozen once again playing on the TV .
‘Not this again!’ Anya said, dredging up a smile from somewhere. Whatever her problems, Freya didn’t need to get drawn into them .
‘Mummy!’ Freya jumped up and ran over for a hug. ‘Chloe wants to stay for tea. I told her we’re having nuggets!’
‘It was an offer too good to refuse,’ Chloe said, holding out her arms to catch Freya and pull her back up on the sofa. She turned to meet Anya’s eyes as she set her bag down on the kitchen counter across from them. ‘Mum had something to do, so I said I’d hold the fort.’ The brightness of her tone was a stark contrast to the worry etched on her face. Obviously word about Davy had started to spread around the family.
‘Thanks. I got held up at work, but I’m glad you’ve agreed to stay for tea. The nuggets are optional, though.’
Chloe pressed her hands to her chest as though shocked Anya would even suggest such a thing. ‘No way, I’m only here for the nuggets.’
Anya laughed as she opened the little freezer above the fridge and pulled out two bags. ‘Right then, potato faces or chips?’
With Chloe’s help, Anya managed to make everything seem normal for Freya. After dinner, Anya found a pack of cards and they played snap and go fish until it was time for Freya’s bath. The excitement of the extra company soon wore her out and she was yawning her little head off as Anya dried her and got her into her pyjamas. She didn’t even want Anya to read her a story, happy to lie down with her audiobook and her coloured light painting patterns across the room.
Anya pulled the bedroom door to and found Chloe with a dishcloth in her hand, drying the last of their dinner things. ‘Oh you didn’t have to do that.’
Chloe set aside the towel and gave her hug. ‘It was the least I could do. Have you heard anything yet?’ She sniffed back a sudden tear. ‘I suppose it’s a miracle he made it to the age he has without anything serious until now, but when Mum told me earlier about Davy having cancer—’ She stopped herself, eyes widening in horror. ‘Oh, I shouldn’t have broken it to you like that! I wasn’t thinking!’
Anya hugged her again. ‘I found out this morning. Let me see if I’ve had a message from Rick.’ She went to double-check her phone, but there wasn’t so much as a text. ‘Nothing.’
Chloe swallowed, but did her best to smile. ‘No news is good news, isn’t that what they say?’
Anya hugged her again. ‘Let’s hope so. Do you want a coffee?’
Chloe nodded. ‘Let me message Mum and see if she’s spoken to Dad since he called her earlier.’
They’d just sat down when there was a quiet tap on the door and Helen let herself in. ‘Your dad just called, so I thought it’d be easier to come and update you both rather than trying to explain it all in a text.’
Anya jumped up. ‘Come and sit down. The kettle’s just boiled; do you want a drink?’
Helen shook her head as she took a seat in the armchair. ‘I am awash with tea as it is.’
Anya sat back down. ‘How bad is it?’
Her aunt gave her an appraising look. ‘You knew?’
‘About the cancer? Only since this morning. I opened a letter about Davy needing to go in for a scan by mistake. We had a bit of a row about it.’ She rubbed a hand over her face as a wave of tiredness washed over her. ‘And then Rick and I had a much bigger row about it.’
‘Poor Rick,’ Helen said, shaking her head. ‘He’s in everyone’s bad books.’
‘So he bloody well should be!’ Anya clamped her mouth shut for a moment. ‘Sorry, never mind about that now. What did Uncle Ryan tell you? ’
Helen raised an eyebrow at the outburst but didn’t address it, saying instead, ‘Well the good news is that the immediate problem is a nasty urinary tract infection. Davy’s hooked up on an IV and getting strong antibiotics and some painkillers and he’s a lot more comfortable. They’re going to keep him in overnight as a precaution. They’ve also arranged for him to have a scan in the morning so they can get a better idea about his cancer.’ It was her turn to rub a hand over her face. ‘Turns out he’s not been to have one yet. Poor Rick is beside himself because Davy gave him the impression that it was all far too late to do anything, when it turns out he hasn’t even had a full diagnosis since his initial blood test came back.’
Anya rocked back in her seat. ‘What are you talking about? I assumed he was beyond help. When we were arguing earlier he said he’d rather let the cancer get him than have me nagging him to death.’ And he’d let Rick believe the same thing .
Helen’s eyes widened. ‘I thought Rick must’ve been confused, but if Davy’s let you think the worst as well? I simply don’t understand what he’s been playing at.’ She muttered the last more to herself than Anya. ‘We can sort all that out once we have the full picture. In the meantime, it looks like you’ll be on your own at the hotel for a few days. Do you think you’ll be able to manage?’
Anya held her hands up. ‘The hotel’s nothing to do with me any more. Davy made it clear to me this morning what he really thinks of me, so you’ll have to find someone else to cover until he’s back on his feet. I was thinking I might take Freya over to stay with mum for a few days.’
‘Anya!’ Chloe exclaimed. ‘You can’t leave Davy in the lurch. I’m sure whatever he said, he didn’t mean it. And what about Rick?’
‘What about him? He lied to me, Chloe! Worse than that he put me in a situation where I’d have to spend every day with a man he thought was dying. I trusted him, I trusted Davy, and it was so nice to have someone teach me all the things I missed out on growing up. You have no idea what it’s like, because your dad’s always been here. And you had all the rest of the family looking out for you too. I had no one, only Mum, and she was working all the time.’
Chloe leaned in to hug her. ‘I know it was hard for you, but look on the bright side: things with Davy might not be as bad as you feared.’
Anya leaned away until Chloe released her. ‘Coming to Halfmoon Quay was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be my chance to start again, to escape the fantasy world I’d built around myself and Drew and get to grips to with real life. But if this is real life then it can get stuffed, I’m not interested!’
Aunt Helen leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Anya’s knee. ‘Come on, darling, I know you’ve been through an awful time, and you’ve had a bit of a nasty shock today, but things aren’t that bad.’
‘Aren’t that bad? I wasted ten years of my life on a compulsive liar only to find I’ve got myself mixed up with another one! Well it serves me right for getting involved with anyone. Rick and I are done and that’s all there is to it. I have Freya and she’s all I need.’
‘Back the truck up there for a second!’ Chloe exclaimed. ‘I’ll admit that Rick’s messed up big time, but there’s simply no comparison between him and Drew.’
‘He promised I could trust him and now I find out he’s been lying to me.’
Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘And I promised my arse I’d stop eating chocolate, but here I am still filling out a pair of size sixteen jeans! ’
‘You said before that you wanted to stop living in a fantasy,’ her aunt interjected in a gentle voice. ‘But it sounds to me as if that’s exactly what you’re still looking for. You have every right to be upset with Rick for keeping the truth about Davy from you, we’re all a bit angry with him about that, but can’t you at least try and see things from his point of view?’
‘You mean the point of view where he needed someone to keep an eye on Davy and get into my good books at the same time?’ Anya scoffed.
‘Oh, I think that’s a bit harsh,’ Chloe protested.
Anya glared at her. Whose friend was she supposed to be anyway? ‘He blackmailed Davy into giving me that job, and before you make excuses for him, Davy told me so himself. Said he wouldn’t have given me a job if Rick hadn’t forced him to and that I was more hindrance than help.’ She rubbed her chest as though she could soothe away the ache of remembering his ugly words.
‘That doesn’t sound like Rick. Doesn’t sound like Davy either for that matter.’
Anya sighed. ‘Well maybe it’s just me that men are awful to. I must give off some kind of pheromone that brings out the worst in them.’
Helen shook her head. ‘What would you have had Rick do?’
Why was this so difficult for them to understand? ‘I would’ve had him tell me the truth so I could make up my own mind about whether I wanted to work with Davy. I never would’ve let him get so close to me if I’d known he was so ill.’
‘That’s you wanting the fantasy life again, though. You can’t insulate yourself from pain. It’s simply not possible. And running away to your mum’s isn’t going to make things any better either.’
‘I’m not running away! I’m just choosing to take my life in a different direction. You were all very kind to take me in, but coming here was a mistake, I see that now. All I’ve done is disrupt everything. You’ll have your hands full dealing with Davy over the coming months anyway.’ Yes, going to see her mum and Bill was exactly what she needed to do. Feeling something close to relief, she turned to Chloe with a smile. ‘And you’ll get your lovely little home back.’
Chloe just stared at her. ‘What about our plans? What about the business?’
Anya quirked her lips; it was sweet of Chloe to try and pretend that her leaving wouldn’t be the easiest thing for all of them. ‘Oh, come on, we both know you were just being kind when you included me. You’ll make a great success of things on your own.’
‘But I want us to make a great success of things, Annie.’
Anya patted her cousin’s knee. ‘You’ll be fine without me.’
‘And what about you?’ Helen asked, quietly. ‘Will you be fine? Is that what you want for the rest of your life, because it sounds like a very lonely existence to me. What about Freya?’
Anya tilted her head as she gave her aunt a quizzical look. ‘What about Freya? She’s my priority in all this. Thank goodness I kept Rick at arm’s length when it came to her, because she won’t have to suffer losing another man in her life.’
Helen bowed her head for a moment. ‘It’s like history repeating itself.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You sound just like your mother after your father left. She swore off men for years, said she didn’t need anyone else because she had you. It might’ve been fine for her because she didn’t have to risk getting hurt again, but what about you? What about what you said to Chloe earlier about having no one around when you were growing up to show you how to do things. What about all those times you came home from school and had to let yourself in because Lisa was at work?’
Anya swallowed around the lump in her throat. ‘This will be different.’
Helen shook her head. ‘Pain is the price we pay for love. You keep talking about wanting to live in the real world, but thinking you can have a life without any more pain is the real fantasy here.’
Anya scoffed. ‘That’s easy for you to say because you and Ryan have always been happy together.’
Helen sat back in her chair and let out a hoot of laughter. ‘My God, is that what you think? I love Ryan more than anything but if you knew even half the mistakes he’s made over the years, you wouldn’t believe it. And that’s before we get onto all the times I messed up. There’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to marriage or a relationship, and yes, sadly, there are some experiences that are truly terrible. I wouldn’t wish what Drew put you through on my worst enemy, but you cannot waste the rest of your life being too afraid to try again.’
‘But I did try again,’ Anya protested, scrubbing an angry hand across her eyes as hot tears began to prickle.
‘And you got hurt. But the only reason you got hurt is because you care about Rick, and you care about Davy too. Drew was only able to cause you so much pain because of how much you loved him.’
‘But he didn’t deserve my love!’
Helen leaned forward and took her hands. ‘No, he didn’t, but you didn’t know that at the time. You had a lovely life, and you made a beautiful child together. And then you lost it all, and that has to hurt more than anything else ever has in your life.’
‘I never really had it, though, did I? ’
Helen squeezed her hands gently. ‘But you didn’t know that,’ she repeated. ‘You’ve never let yourself grieve properly because you think you don’t deserve to mourn Drew, but that’s denying the truth of what you experienced at the time. If you don’t let yourself come to terms with that, you’ll never be ready to move forward. You have to stop punishing yourself, Anya. It’s time to forgive yourself.’
Anya let that sink in for a bit. ‘Even if what you say is true and I do all of that, I’m still not sure I can ever forgive Rick for lying to me.’
Helen leaned back again, steepling her fingers under her chin. ‘Whether you can forgive him or not will be up to you. I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t be mad at him, because God knows I’m furious with him for keeping all this to himself, especially when he’s somehow only got half the story. But I know why he did it. Or at least I can hazard a good guess. Rick has always been a good boy, you see,’ she said, a fond smile spreading over her face. ‘He’s always been the one of those four who did the right thing. He never misbehaved, never forgot to do his homework. Never ran out into the street to chase a football.’
Anya recalled the way he’d put an arm out in front of her when she’d gone to cross the road. ‘He’s very cautious.’
Helen nodded. ‘Liam was the golden boy with the big brain and the scholarship. Harry was the wild one who ran off the rails and Ed was the baby of the family, especially after his accident. Rick, on the other hand, he just tried not to be a bother to anyone. When his mum needed help running the chandlery, he was the one who stepped in. When the parish council almost had to fold because of a lack of members, he was the first to volunteer. When he realised there was a resource gap for the village, he founded the Hub. ’
‘You make him sound like a saint.’
Helen scoffed. ‘Oh he’s hardly that, he’s just someone who’s always tried to help wherever he’s seen a need for it.’ She shook her head. ‘The sad thing is, I don’t think anyone has ever stopped to ask him what he needs.’
Anya’s phone beeped and she reached for it. It was a message from Rick.
Davy ok, will explain tomorrow. Ed’s doing Hire Hut so I will cover at the hotel until D back on his feet.
It was hard not to laugh, because of course Rick would be the one to sort things out. He wouldn’t have to if he hadn’t made a mess in the first place .
Thanks
She began typing a follow-up query about whether he was okay but she deleted the words before she sent them. While Helen had given her a new insight into why Rick might behave as he did, she couldn’t gloss over things. Setting the phone aside, she looked at Helen and Chloe. ‘I won’t make any rash decisions about going to Mum’s, but I’m going to have to have a long hard think about whether staying in Halfmoon Quay is the right thing for Freya and me in the long run.’