Chapter 30
30
Anya is typing… The words teased him for a few seconds, then stopped, started again, and then nothing. Rick stared at his screen, willing her to carry on the conversation, but after five minutes of silence he sighed and tucked away his phone. The loss of light from the screen plunged the back seat of his parents’ car into darkness, which at least had the benefit of Rick no longer being able to sense his father’s laser-like glare via the rear-view mirror every time he looked up. Rick shifted in his seat and stared out the passenger window, though there was nothing to see beyond the glass. The Stygian dark of the unlit country road made the atmosphere in the car even more stifling, locking Rick inside a box of his own shame and regret.
What else could I have done ?
His mind kept circling back to the same question, not as a plea of self-justification but to batter himself constantly with answers that seemed so obvious with the benefit of hindsight. He could’ve taken his mum or dad into his confidence about Davy, talked it over with them and found a way to help his great-uncle without turning the whole thing into a circus. He could’ve let Anya find her own way. There were plenty of part-time jobs around the village this time of year that didn’t need much in the way of experience. He hadn’t needed to create one for her.
You’ve broken my heart, Rick Penrose . The remembered words cut as deeply as when she’d said them. How could he have been so stupid? So careless and inconsiderate of the trauma she’d suffered since Drew’s death. His gut shrivelled every time he thought about it.
After what felt like an eternity, they pulled up on the block-paved drive in front of the house. The external security light illuminated the car as the three of them got out. There wasn’t any danger from trespassers or would-be car thieves in the village, rather it had been fitted by Jago after he and Rachel had been woken once too often by the late-night key fumblings of one or other of their errant sons. It wasn’t the only change they’d had to make to the house to accommodate their growing brood. Rick could still remember the summer they’d installed the practical, if not so aesthetically pleasing, paving slabs beneath his feet. His parents had sacrificed the small front garden to meet the parking needs of several teenage boys all desperate to own their own car. It had been hard work laying the slabs, but a lot of fun.
Jago stalked past Rick without a word. He unlocked the front door and disappeared upstairs. His mum laid a hand on Rick’s arm. ‘He just needs a bit of time to calm down.’
Rick nodded. ‘I don’t blame him for being angry with me.’
She reached up to cup his cheek, almost having to go up on tiptoe to do so. ‘He’s not angry with you, not really. He’s angry with himself because he feels responsible for not noticing there was anything wrong with Davy.’
‘But that doesn’t make any sense! ’
His mum smiled. ‘No more sense than you feeling like you had to shoulder the burden of his illness alone.’ Rick cringed a little, making her shake her head in gentle bemusement. ‘Two peas in a pod, that’s you and your dad.’
He didn’t bother to deny it, because he knew it was true. Jago had always been Rick’s role model growing up. ‘He shouldn’t blame himself, because Uncle Davy did his damnedest to hide things from all of us. I wouldn’t have noticed if Maud hadn’t sought me out in the café and asked me to call in on him.’ He frowned. ‘Has anyone thought to let Maud know? Maybe I should text Issy…’
‘Stop it.’ His mother shook his arm gently. ‘Tomorrow will be soon enough to think about things like that.’ She tilted her head towards the stairs. ‘Why don’t you go up and try and relax? You’ve had a horrible day.’ Her mouth quirked in a little smile. ‘By the sounds of it, you’ve got some company waiting for you up there.’
Above the dull buzz of the shower running in his parents’ en suite, he caught the strains of a TV , followed by familiar deep laughter. ‘What are the twins doing here?’
‘Why don’t you go up and find out?’
Not the least bit in the mood for company, Rick dragged himself reluctantly up the stairs. He paused for a moment outside the door to his sitting room, which had been left ajar, and took a deep breath.
‘I can see you lurking out there,’ Harry called.
Rick plastered a smile on his face as he pushed the door wide. ‘I was trying to wake myself up from the nightmare of you two invading my space.’
‘Haha!’ Ed pointed at an ice bucket of bottled beers sitting in the centre of the coffee table. ‘Sit down and have a drink. You look like crap. ’
Harry shuffled over on the sofa to make room for Rick to sit next to him while Ed grabbed one of the beers, twisted off the cap and passed it to him.
‘Thanks.’ Rick took a long gulp, the cold bitterness a balm as it slid down his parched throat. The coffee in the machine at the hospital had been undrinkable and the vending machine next to it full of unappetising junk food and the sort of glow-in-the-dark coloured energy drinks that gave Rick the shakes just looking at them. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?’
Harry reached down to unzip a padded bag by his feet, producing a tinfoil-covered plate and a knife and fork, all of which he set down on the coffee table in front of Rick. ‘I thought you might be hungry.’
The scent of rich, meaty gravy hit Rick’s nostrils and his empty stomach immediately growled in appreciation. Setting down the beer, he tore off the foil. ‘What’s this?’
‘Beef bourguignon with Hasselback potatoes and wilted greens.’
Rick nodded, unable to talk around the forkful he’d already shoved into his mouth. He closed his eyes for a second to savour the exquisite flavours but he was too hungry to take his time and was soon scraping the last bit of gravy-soaked potato up. When he set the plate down, Harry grinned at him.
‘Better?’
Leaning back, Rick placed a hand on his full belly and sighed. ‘Much. Thanks, mate, you aren’t half bad at that cooking lark.’
Harry barked out a laugh. ‘Right, well, now we’ve fed and watered you, it’s time for what we really came here for.’
The lazy relaxation that had been creeping over Rick vanished in an instant. ‘What’s that? ’
‘To take the piss out of you, of course!’ Ed replied, his face-splitting grin matching his twin’s. If it hadn’t been for the white scar bisecting Ed’s right eyebrow, they really would be impossible to tell apart.
‘Rick… Rick… Rick,’ Harry was saying as he shook his head. ‘How the mighty have fallen.’ He looked over at Ed. ‘It’s a sorry day, bro, to see such a giant of integrity brought so low.’
Ed pulled a sad face. ‘A very sorry day indeed.’
Rick couldn’t help himself as he started to laugh. ‘If that’s what you came for then you know where the door is.’
‘Come on,’ Harry said. ‘You have to admit it’s kind of funny.’
Ed grinned back at him. ‘It’s glorious! I like Rick being in the shit even more than I like seeing you screw up.’
Harry shot him the middle finger. ‘So what did Dad say?’
All humour fell away as Rick’s gut clenched and his delicious dinner no longer sat so easily. ‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing?’ Ed echoed.
Rick shook his head. ‘Not a word.’
The twins exchanged glances.
‘Ooh, he’s big mad,’ said Ed.
Harry nodded. ‘The only thing worse than getting one of Dad’s disappointed-but-understanding chats is the big freeze.’ He patted Rick on the leg. ‘You’re really in the poop, aren’t you?’
‘Neck deep, I reckon,’ Ed said, not at all helpfully.
‘Up to his chin at least, maybe even touching bottom lip.’ Harry raised a hand to indicate the level and the pair exchanged a grin.
‘Did you honestly only come here to torment me, because believe you me, I’m more than capable of doing that without any assistance from you two chuckle hounds.’
‘Nah, mate.’ Harry sat back, throwing one arm across the back of the sofa. ‘Matt messaged and told us what happened and we wanted to make sure you’re okay.’
‘I’m the last person you should be worried about. If I hadn’t kept quiet about Davy he might already be having treatment. What if…’ Rick had to pause so he didn’t choke up. ‘What if it’s too late?’
Ed’s expression was completely sober as he leaned forward. ‘A couple of months can’t have made that much difference and besides, from what Matt told us it sounds like there’s only one person to blame in all this and that’s Uncle Davy.’
‘He always was a stubborn old goat,’ Harry grumbled. ‘And Ed’s right. If Uncle D decided to stick his head in the sand about his condition then that’s on him.’
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rick knew they were right but that still didn’t excuse what he’d done. ‘I forced him to give that job to Anya, told him I’d tell everyone he was ill unless he took her on.’
Harry looked at him for a long moment then shrugged. ‘I don’t see the problem. The hotel’s been getting a bit much for Uncle D for a while. Anyone with eyes could see it and you know both Dad and Uncle Ryan have tried to persuade him to slow down well before now.’
Ed nodded. ‘Exactly. And Anya clearly needed a job asap given the hole that wanker left her in. I, too, am failing to see any problem here.’
Rick sighed. ‘I put a bereaved woman who’s lost her husband in the worst possible circumstances in close proximity to someone I thought was also going to die soon.’
‘Oh.’
‘Shit.’
‘Yeah.’ Sinking back against his cushion, Rick took a morose sip of his beer. ‘She hates me, and she’s got every right to. ’
‘I doubt she hates you,’ said Ed, ever the optimist.
‘Oh, no, I’m pretty sure she hates you,’ Harry said, never one to pull his punches. ‘But there is one bit of good news in all this: Uncle D might not be dying – well, not quite yet, at any rate.’
‘I suppose there is that. But I don’t know what I’m going to do about Anya.’
‘I don’t think there’s anything you can do,’ Ed said. ‘Not right now.’
‘But there must be something.’ Rick raised a hand to rub his temple where a headache had started to pulse. ‘I can’t think straight, I’m too tired. But I’ll work something out.’ He had to. Anya was too important to him to let one mistake ruin everything. Even if that mistake seemed pretty insurmountable right now.
‘You never change, do you?’ Harry snorted. ‘Mr I-Can-Fix-Everything. I hate to break it to you, but I reckon the only chance you have of getting this right is by not doing anything.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Some things are simply beyond your control. Whether Anya can come to terms with what’s happened is up to her, not you. Whether she then decides to forgive you…’ Harry shrugged. ‘Also up to her.’
‘What about losing her job at the hotel? She’s got Freya to think of, and like Ed said, Drew left her right in the hole. I’ve got some savings?—’
Harry held up his hands, his expression one of pure disbelief. ‘You’ve got to stop, Rick, seriously. You’re going to have to let her get on with it. Anya’s mistakes are hers to own, and hers to rectify. You can’t swoop in like Prince bloody Charming and slay all her dragons in the hope she’ll swoon at your feet in eternal gratitude. ’
‘I think it was the prince in Sleeping Beauty that had to kill the dragon, not the one in Snow White ,’ Ed pointed out.
Harry raised his bottle and pointed it at Ed. ‘Not helpful, bro.’ He turned that pointing bottle towards Rick. ‘If you really care about Anya, you’re going to have to do something you’ve never done in your life, and that’s let her learn to stand on her own two feet. She doesn’t need an over-protective big brother, she needs a partner, someone who will stand by her not in front of her.’
Rick scrubbed a hand through his hair as the painful truth finally sank in. ‘There’s really nothing I can do, is there?’
‘Afraid not.’ Harry’s eyes were full of sympathy as he patted Rick on the leg. He raised his beer, stopped with it hovering near his mouth as a sly grin appeared. ‘At least Ed’s still a hopeless case, so you can channel all that big brother energy into sorting him out.’
Ed laugh-groaned. ‘Hey, come on, I’m not that bad.’ They both stared at him for a long time until he lowered his head and sighed. ‘Okay, yes, I am that bad, but that’s all behind me now. I’m turning over a new leaf.’
Rick would believe that when he saw it.