Chapter 25 – Lumen
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lumen
Grant leads me into an office on the same hallway the greenroom is on. He’s never been super warm and fuzzy to me, but I stop in my tracks when I spot a man I don’t recognize standing behind a large desk. He has dark hair, bushy eyebrows, and thick black glasses.
Oh, and he’s wearing a suit.
That doesn’t seem like a good sign.
I’m still out of it and lethargic from partying last night, and I take a step back as I spot Theo. He has his arms crossed, and his booted foot resting against the wall behind him.
Grant is close to my back, and he needs to get into the room, so I slide to the side, falling into the wall for support.
Dammit.
Theo is every bit as handsome as he always has been, and I kinda hate him for it.
Or you hate yourself for still being attracted to him.
It’s definitely the second option, but I can’t just turn off that attraction in the same way I can’t flip a switch and magically not love him anymore.
That will take time.
Without a doubt, I know we can’t be together.
That isn’t going to change.
“What is this about?” I ask as Grant shuts the door.
Theo pushes off the wall, turning to face me. “I told Grant everything. They know you wrote the lyrics.”
My jaw falls, and my head shakes.
Wow.
I need to do some self-reflection because that feels like a betrayal, even though I straight-up told him I would sign whatever he needed.
He could have at least given some warning that this meeting was coming.
Except you’ve purposely been ignoring his calls and texts.
Grant strides over, taking a seat in one of the two chairs on this side of the desk. He gestures to the other and says, “Why don’t you have a seat?”
“The label would like to make an offer to buy out any contributions you may have made to the songs on—” The lawyer cuts off as the door next to me flies open.
Kincaid steps inside. His hair is wet, leaving slightly transparent spots on his white T-shirt.
He turns to me, letting the door close behind him.
“You should have left a note or told us you were leaving, especially since Kasey won’t be around until closer to the show.
” He steps to the wall at my side. “Feel free to get back to whatever you were in the middle of.” He gets close to my ear and says, “I can smell a label lawyer a mile away.”
“This contract only covers independent contracting work done for Tangled Desires,” the lawyer says, staring at Grant.
“She’s not signing anything without a lawyer of her own to look over those documents,” Kincaid growls. “Ambushing anyone without the opportunity to bring their own counsel is shitty. Come on, Lumen.”
“Um, I’m okay,” I say, smiling tightly. “Thank you for coming to check on me, but this should be quick.”
“Yeah, man,” Theo says, nodding toward the door. “You need to learn to mind your business. This has nothing to do with you.”
Kincaid chuckles darkly.
The unfriendly sound sends a shiver down my spine.
I’m groggy today, and I just wanted to play around with Malcolm’s song. Having a random meeting with a lawyer is the last thing I expected to have to deal with, but I am open to hearing the offer.
I was going to sign either way, so if I can get enough money to start over once I’m back in Florida, I’ll consider that a win.
“Have you been involved in the creative process for any of Liminal’s songs?” the lawyer asks.
I blink like a deer caught in headlights.
Technically speaking, no.
I don’t want to screw up Malcolm’s ability to use the song he came up with.
Dammit.
I really like Malcolm, Riser, and Kincaid, but I’m afraid my being here could make things messy for them.
“No,” I say, shaking my head.
At the same time, Kincaid says, “If you’d like to give her the contract, now is your chance. She’s not signing until a lawyer of her choosing looks over it.”
I guess he’s probably right. Without a lawyer, I would have no idea if I was signing my life away.
Kincaid leads me down the hallway, and the door behind me bursts open.
I haven’t even tried to read through the contract, but it’s clutched to my chest.
“You’re ignoring all my calls. You don’t even open my texts,” Theo says, making me freeze. “You told me to get you paperwork to sign…”
“I did say that, but I was angry,” I say, spinning around. “I wanted leverage to ensure you wouldn’t leave me with the huge bill from the apartment complex. I wouldn’t have gone after you guys. I just thought it would be fair.”
“I love you,” Theo says. “I’m trying to make up for my mistakes. My career doesn’t mean much if you won’t be by my side. You’re the one who told me to tell the label that I wrote the songs, so I did. Then you told me to tell them the truth. I’ve done what you told me to do every step of the way.”
Having a band that can write their own music is attractive. It means the label won’t have to spend money pairing them with songwriters. I was just trying to make sure they would succeed.
“I’m sorry. I handled that wrong.” I shove the contract between my arm and chest, pulling my hands up and rubbing my temples.
“When we talked, I guess I didn’t make it clear what I meant.
I thought you would have paperwork drawn up, like privately, between us.
I didn’t want the label knowing or you risking anything. ”
I’m exhausted, and not in the right shape to try to talk in riddles.
It’s too late for that, anyway.
Kincaid knows I was writing music for Tangled Desires.
He’s still somewhere behind me, watching this entire thing play out.
Glancing over my shoulder, I give him a plastic smile. “Would you mind giving me and Theo a minute alone?”
He nods, spins around, and walks deeper down the hallway.
“Damn, Lu,” Theo says, laughing mirthlessly. “You’ve really got a thing for lead singers.”
“Don’t do that.” I jab a finger at his chest as my head shakes violently. “I was a damn good girlfriend to you.”
“You were, but you sure moved on quick,” he says, shoving his tattooed hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Meanwhile, you won’t even talk to me so I can start trying to fix things between us.”
“I still feel too betrayed,” I say, both shoulders bouncing. I’m not sure I meant to admit that, but it’s true. “Too angry to communicate with you in any way that wouldn’t be toxic.”
I mean, unless he wants me to unload a bunch of hateful shit, I should probably keep my mouth closed. I don’t have it in me today to be nice.
“I thought you stuck around with Liminal because it gave you an excuse to stay close to me,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“I hate it when you say things like that about yourself.”
“Yeah, well, I am. You’ve always been way out of my league. Smarter than me. More talented.” Theo tosses his head back, shaking the hair out of his eyes.
“Not even close. We have different strengths and weaknesses,” I say, keeping my walls up. “You should work on not comparing yourself to any future partners before you get into another relationship. The entire goal is that you can tackle things better together.”
“You know what?” Theo growls, shaking his head and stomping down the hallway past me. “Fuck you.”
I sigh, and my stomach churns.
I do think it was good advice, but I also purposely hit him where I knew it would hurt. That’s why I know we can’t fix things. I’m entirely too spiteful for us to be together after what he did.
Rather than leaving the venue, the guys have food delivered.
I’m actually starting to miss the bus, but I’m also wondering how we’re all going to fit. From what I hear, Wren, the woman Tennyson knows from back home, is also going to be on the bus with us.
I haven’t gotten much of an opportunity to get to know her, but I want to try. It’ll be nice to have some feminine energy around. It also makes me feel guilty because I mentioned that I could take one of the bunks once we’re back on the bus to give her the opportunity to take the bedroom.
Tennyson was the loudest opposition to that, and I still have no idea why. I’d think he would want his friend’s sister to be comfortable, but whatever.
I have too much on my mind to fight them on it, and it’s mostly irrelevant right now, since we’ll still be in the hotel.
Kasey sticks close to my side as we watch the show from backstage. I have no idea where Wren and her brother are, but I think they have actual tickets out in the audience.
Benji gave me an entirely new backstage pass with family and friends access, except this time, it’s for Liminal.
It’s kinda ridiculous that I have a view of the guys that most people would kill for, and I’m still melancholy. Seeing Theo earlier really fucked with my head. I don’t regret fooling around with Mal and Riser last night, but it almost feels like I cheated on Theo—which is fucking ridiculous.
I broke up with him.
He cheated on me.
Emotions are complicated.
I read over the contract while the guys got their hair and makeup done.
It offers five thousand dollars per song in which I deserve primary writing credit, as long as they are original works, which they are.
It also offers an additional two thousand dollars for two songs it was deemed I contributed to a “collaborative writing effort.”
I think I understand what that means, and if my math is right, it’ll guarantee me a check for just under forty grand.
That’s life-changing money.
I’ll be able to pay off the apartment, find a new place, and stockpile a little money.
Kincaid put a call in to his lawyer, and they sent me a digital contract to sign for their services. After that was done, I scanned the contract from the record label using my phone and emailed it over.
I’m supposed to get a call from the lawyer tomorrow to explain the terms.
I’m still not sure how that’s going to go, and I hate how unsettled I feel when I think about it. Shaking out my hands, I smack into the guy next to me.
“Shit, sorry,” I say softly, making a point to step closer to the wall.
“Thank you all so much for coming out tonight,” Kincaid purrs into his microphone.
The crowd goes wild.
“Seriously, you’re the best audience we’ve had in a while,” Malcolm chimes in.
“How about we close this one out with a fan favorite?” Kincaid suggests.
“What are we giving them? ‘Dandelions?’” Tennyson chimes in.
“‘Mother May I?’” Malcolm suggests.
“I thought we’d do Columbia a solid and finish this one out with ‘Echoes.’” Kincaid leans toward the crowd, cupping his ear. “If that’s okay with you?”
The audience loses it.
Malcolm peers over at me, winking, and my heart flutters. They aren’t in their masks tonight, but I heard they will be tomorrow. Although I used to think the shows were better when they were all masked up, now I prefer being able to see their expressions.
Damn.
They really are sexy as sin and sweaty as can be. Even if it’s cooling off outside, they still seem to end every show soaked with sweat. Not that I’m complaining. I’d be completely content if they wanted to trap me in the middle of a hug from all three of them.
Okay, that’s a weird thought.
Riser leads the song in with low, pounding beats on his drums.
Tennyson joins him, and for a crazy amount of time, it’s just the two of them. Malcolm is next, and Kincaid comes in, in this sensual, gravelly tone that matches the haunting beat.
They do way more old-school rock than Tangled Desires, but they also have a few songs that probably qualify as metalcore.
Peeking out toward the audience, I’m not shocked to see there’s a huge crowd up by the security fence.
Hopefully Wren and her brother are somewhere safe. I remember how chaotic it was being trapped out there in the crowd.
As the song picks up, I find myself swaying to the beat. The fans sing along, and it truly is magical, especially with the way the lights and pyrotechnics sync with the song.
It’s crazy to think that Andrew wrote this one.
All of their songs, if what Malcolm implied was true.
An incredible song is subjective, so the listener can apply their own meaning, but this one seems pretty evident to me.
It’s all about the ghosts of the past and seeing echoes of who a person used to be. Only, when they look at a picture or video, they’re acutely aware that’s not who they are anymore.
How someone can get to a place where they don’t recognize their own reflection. All while knowing how far they’ve fallen.
It’s actually really beautiful, but you can tell it was written from a place of pain.
The guys say their goodbyes and make their way offstage.
“Hey, baby doll.” Malcolm makes it to me, and the smile on his face is contagious as he wraps me in his arms.
“Give me your mixers before you lose them again,” one of the sound guys says.
“That does sound like something I would do.” Mal chuckles good-naturedly and moves around, pulling them out and handing them off. “Sorry, Lulu. What was I saying?” He kisses the side of my head, giving me a squeeze. “Oh yeah, did you enjoy the show?”
“I did,” I assure him, rubbing my face around his sweaty shirt with little concern to whether he’ll end up covered in my makeup. “It was amazing. You guys always put on a killer performance.”
“Looking over and seeing you watching was my favorite part,” he says, sounding so sincere that my chest flutters.
“Yeah?”
“Yup.” He dips his head to mine, and I stretch up on my tiptoes to meet him. As his stormy, electric scent hits my nose, I whimper against his lips.
Jesus.
I like him so much, but I’m not sure the time is right.
Rebound relationships never last.
Right?