Chapter 15 #3
The two women had been unaware of being overheard so what he had heard on both sides—Lady Malpas’ contempt and Katherine’s anguish—had been genuine.
This had not been two accomplices discussing a trap they had devised together but a tormentor and her victim.
It had been plain to see. And yet he had allowed his hurt pride and fury to blind him to facts.
To think he had mocked Katherine for being too stupid to take advantage of him and pretend to be with child when she had come to him in the herb garden!
She should have slapped him, at the very least.
“I was a bastard to you the day you came to tell me you weren’t with child.
Will you ever forgive me for suggesting you should have gone to all the men you could find so that one of them could give you a babe to present to me?
” Simply talking about her going another man sent his blood to boiling point. “I spoke to you as I would to a…”
He could not finish the sentence. But instead of being offended, Katherine pursed her lips in consideration.
“Will I forgive you? It depends on what you are prepared to do to earn my forgiveness, I suppose. What have you in mind? I might not want to miss out on it if it is anything too pleasing.”
Siaspar’s chest warmed. How he loved this woman. “When you know me better, you will know that I am not a man to ignore a challenge.”
“I had already guessed as much. Which is exactly why I’m asking the question.”
This answer deserved another kiss, which he promptly gave her.
“Dear God, when I met Lady Malpas I thought nothing good would ever come of a marriage to her, but I was wrong, since it brought us together,” he said, speaking against Katherine’s lips.
She was so soft, so responsive, so maddeningly arousing.
“I would not be without you for the world. And soon you will be mine.”
Soon… Yes, but how soon? Unbeknownst to Katherine and his wife, he had already petitioned the bishop to have his union annulled.
And last night he had approached Lady Malpas’ brother in the strictest confidence to explain that they were incompatible.
Not only that, but he was worried for her sanity if she remained in a country she hated.
As long as another acceptable party was found for his sister, the man would agree to testify that the wedding had not been consummated.
Siaspar was prepared to plead impotence if need be.
He cared not about his reputation; he cared only about one thing.
Ridding himself of his English wife—so he could take another.
One he wanted, this time.
“I could be yours right now, you know,” Katherine whispered in Siaspar’s ear, feeling bolder than she had ever felt.
Fired up by his kisses and the knowledge that he wanted her, she was pressing herself closer to him, desperate for more, for his hands on her body. He responded by pushing her away gently and holding her at arm’s length, not the reaction she had hoped for.
“Catrin, cariad, ask me to let you go back to your family right now, or make me go back to the castle,” he growled.
“Why would I do that?” Leaving him was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Because if you don’t, I’m afraid I will give the passersby something to see that they will never forget.”
He rubbed his nose against hers in a tender gesture. She gave a shaky laugh and looked around. As she’d suspected, they were completely alone.
“I don’t see anyone,” she whispered, “but I know a quiet place further inside the woods if you are wary of being seen.”
Siaspar groaned. “Don’t tempt me, woman.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am trying very hard to behave honorably right now, despite my need for you.”
Yes. She could feel that need pressing hard against her stomach, as well as the tension in his body indicating he was fighting it.
“How about you forget your mighty lord persona for once and act like the brewer’s grandson you really are,” she challenged. “What would he do with a woman he wanted to possess?”
“He would carry her over to that quiet spot of yours and make her regret her provocation,” Siaspar said, a dark flame dancing in his eyes.
“Oh, really? Regret? We’ll see about that.” Katherine took his hand and led him away from the path. To her relief, he didn’t try to resist. “Come. It’s this way.”
“How do you know about such a place, may I ask? Have you led many men there to be kissed?”
“No, it’s always been my secret place. I’ve never taken anyone there, much less a man, though I often thought about it.”
She was surprised to have given him such an honest answer. Would Siaspar not think her too wanton? Fortunately, he didn’t appear shocked.
“What stopped you from doing so?”
“I…” She faltered and they both came to a halt. This might be one confession too many.
“Tell me, please, I want you to feel you can tell me anything. I don’t want you to be ashamed.”
She wasn’t ashamed, but she knew that he would hate her answer. Still, she could not lie to him, not after all the misunderstandings between them.
“I wanted my first time to be special, with a man I was going to marry and spend my life with, not a hurried affair with someone I barely knew.”
“Oh, God.”
Just as she had feared, Siaspar looked about to retch.
“I’m sorry. But you asked,” she said in a small voice. “And I didn’t want to lie.”
“I know, sweetheart, and I thank you for your honesty.” He gave her cheek a brush. “But surely you understand why I am appalled by what you said. Because, in the end, your first time was a hurried affair with a man you didn’t know.”
“Yes. But that man was tricked into doing it, which makes all the difference. He now wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me. He is certainly not a stranger any longer.” She started walking again, eager to reach the spot where they could forget all about their troubles.
“So please, let the poor man forget what happened, or, at least, believe me when I say this first time was not the horrific experience he thinks it was.”
Siaspar took in a deep breath. “I do believe you. You have told me as much already and I think you mean it.”
“I do,” Katherine was delighted to see that he was prepared to believe her.
“I thank you for your generosity. You allowed me to make my peace with what I did to you, and I have the weakness to take your word for it.”
“It’s not a weakness but a strength to be able to trust people.”
He smiled. “Indeed.”
It wasn’t long before Katherine came to another halt. They had reached the middle of the woods and were now standing in a space big enough to let the sunshine in but small enough to be private.
“Here we are.”
Suddenly she felt very shy. The meadow looked different than in her memory.
But perhaps that was not surprising, as she had not been here for years.
As a young girl, she had often come on May Day, to dream that a mysterious boy would one day steal her heart.
It had become her refuge from her normal, sometimes uninspiring life.
No one, not even her sister, knew that she came here and would stare at the sky, using the clouds to try and picture a man who was neither the miller’s son nor the weaver’s nephew or any of the other lads from the village, but a man she did not know, a stranger who would come and whisk her away from a life that had become too predictable for her.
Now, her fantasy had come true. That very man was here in front of her, so tall, so brooding, so real, a man of flesh and bones, not the romantic conjuring of her girlish imagination.
She shivered. In her dreams, the men spread their cloaks on the ground for her and Siaspar delighted her by doing just that, unbidden.
“This is perfect, thank you for taking me here. Let’s sit a while.”
She did sit. And as soon as he joined her, they kissed. First with passion, then with reverence, then tenderness, and then passion again.
Soon, they were lying down side by side. In that position, the difference in height between them was negligeable, and she could stare into Siaspar’s incredible eyes. They seemed to be glowing with a new intensity now that he had admitted his love for her.
“Please let me see you,” Katherine murmured, pulling at his clothes. She should never have been so bold or so demanding but desire was making her forget everything. “I have wanted to see you for weeks.”
On their two nights together, she had not seen his body, only felt the taut muscles rippling under the smooth skin. She was desperate to see if he was as arousing as she imagined him to be, even if she suspected that he was.
“No, my love. As much as I’d like to, I cannot indulge you, not here.
” He stilled her hand, trapping it against his iron chest. “I do not want us to be caught. If anyone should walk into the meadow while we are naked they would see an opportunity for mischief. I cannot risk exposing you to danger thus. But soon, I swear. When I have you in a secure place, we will do everything you want.”
“Then let me see your arm, at least.” She pushed back the sleeve of his tunic to reveal the scar on his left wrist. “My God,” she cried out.
Katherine was shocked. Somehow, the scar looked worse than the wound had and brought home the atrocity of Lady Malpas’ attempt on his life. It was deep and ragged, as if she had not just run the blade across the veins but sawed at his flesh repeatedly.
Siaspar lifted the hand holding him to his mouth and kissed the palm, lingering on the gesture.
“You did what no one else has ever done for me. I owe my life to you. Your presence of mind that day saved me. I know not of any other lady who would have acted with such self-possession. In all probability they would have fainted at the sight of blood or screamed until it was too late to save me.”
“Yes. But you are forgetting I’m no lady.” Katherine could barely think straight, never mind talk. The kisses on the tender skin of her hand were doing odd things to her insides.